Should we feel at little sad for them

[Helen_Highwater]

And by them I mean other males who've never tried on a dress. This was prompted by the thread on why men don't. https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?257579-Why-Most-Men-Still-Don-t-Casually-Wear-Dresses

They will have missed out on that feeling we're all so familiar with. Wearing a lose fitting skirt on a warm day, hose on shaved legs. So many feel good sensations. Even standing in front of a mirror and seeing that shapely figure looking back.

So when a male looks at me when I'm out dressed with that look of distain I think it's your loss, you're the one missing out on life.

[SaraLin]

Not me. I actually envy them a little.

Their lives are simpler. Unlike many of us -they don't have to deal with worrying about whether they'll be accepted for their clothing choices, if they'll be shunned, beaten, or if their marriages will be destroyed because of what they 'need' to wear. "they" are comfortable in their skins and their -um- assigned -or 'appropriate' wardrobes and there is no inner conflict.

There are days when I think about how nice it would be to not WANT to show the world that I'm a girl inside - knowing that I can't (thanks to my biology, my relationship status, and my distinct lack of courage)
Still - even with all the difficulty they cause in my life, I don't think I'd willingly give up my feminine feelings. They're as much a part of who I am as the (decidedly male) body I inhabit.

[Stacy Darling]

My emotions are mixed Helen. I see others look at me whilst I'm at the shops they look at my makeup, my walk or whatever catches their eye. I do feel sorry for the some which have the "Look" in there eye. The others, well it's not just dressing that they are missing out on, in their world!

We are just more fortunate I guess, and I can't improve their lives by feeling sad for them!

Stacy!

ps. I must say though, if some one of those did want to try, I would try to assist them!

[Judy-Somthing]

I think that when an actor plays a role where they get all dressed up by makeup experts that it has the potential to release any inner CD tendencies.

[Queen Bridget]

I still believe that almost every man has secretly tried crossdressing at some point in private.

Even the ones you least expect.

[Raychel]

Personally I fee very sad for them. If every male just tried dressing up pretty.
the world would be a much better place.

[Julie Martin]

[QUOTE=SaraLin;4235295]Not me. I actually envy them a little.

I'm with Sara Lin on this one. Although on the 3 or 4 times a year that I fully dress and spend a day as Julie, I play the female role as convincingly as I can, and really enjoy it, I'm one who who take the "antidote pill" for crossdressing if there was one. Not everyone would enjoy their feminine side the way most of us do.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I also envy them in a way. It would be easier if I were a completely gender conforming man. It would be certainly easier to find a GG SO if I was completely gender conforming. Wearing nylons and dresses is great and all, but it comes with a price.

And really, most men don't want to dress, and most wouldn't like it if they did try it. Like anything else in life, it is something some like but most don't, like brussels sprouts.

[CarlaWestin]

I think that when an actor plays a role where they get all dressed up by makeup experts that it has the potential to release any inner CD tendencies.

That has to be the ultimate genderfluid experience. Professionally reupholstered to accurately appear as a genuine female, mold your thoughts and actions to actually live the role and be completely surrounded by people that want it all to be genuine and believable.

Now, as for the OP. I look back at all the family gatherings and husbandly duties of the males and it all just looked so boring. And the women were having so much fun being girly and presenting pretty. Growing up with a sister and her friends, I just wanted to experience their fun. I did enjoy some typical generic boy stuff but, it was all kind of a big So What. And I know that there's a lot of feelings I would never give up at this point. Just walking across a tiled floor in heels wearing nice forms in a sexy bra, hourglass corset, panties, garterbelt and stockings. The subtle pull of hoop earrings with every step. Hair lightly tickling bare shoulders. The jingle of jewelry, taste of lipstick and beauty of painted nails.

"Yeah, right. But I just rebuilt my carburetor with the mini-ninja turbo thrust missile enhilator o-ring package!"

Oh? wow.

[Teresa]

Helen,
We may never know what is behind many of those looks , and it's not always one of disdain ! He could be another CDer, he may fancy you , you may have just stirred something up in him . You may feel some sadness for him but I doubt very much he feels sad for you .

I know I've made this comment before but very few guys will make eye contact , GGs often do !

[Stephanie47]

As others have stated life would be a lot simpler if I was not a man who enjoys or needs to wear women's clothing on occasion. Yes, I enjoy my private summer time wearing a floral print sun dress and hosiery and a low heel. Of course I have to add a bra with false boobs, a panty and a full or half slip. When the temperature rises most women, not matter how much their legs are messed up with spider veins ditch the hosiery. My wife is hoseless all the time. And, when it gets warm the bra is off.

Normally on a warm day, and, for me that's any temperature above 60 degrees it's shorts and a white vee neck tee shirt. No socks. No shoes. That's the comfortable male side. I am fortunate the climate where I live in western Washington during the summer is great. High's in the sixties and seventies. Lows at night in the fifties. No need for an air conditioner. When I lived in the hot sticky climate of New York City with night time radiant heat coming off the concrete sidewalks with over nights lows in the 90's it was unbearable. Guess why I'm out here? The weather.

Anyway, as a recreational cross dresser I'll stay with my very comfortable guy clothes or lack thereof in the summer unless Stephanie demands her inner brother give her some summer time fun in the sun.

[Beverley Sims]

Helen, I agree we have a feel good life.

Who wants to be just a man. :-)

[docrobbysherry]

Because I had no gender issues until age 50. When I tried on my first female clothing item!:battingeyelashes:

So, why didn't I try on anything before then? Because it never occurred to me!:brolleyes:

To those of u that project how u feel on to other males? You're way off base! Most men have no interest in women's clothes. Except getting them off of the women they bed!:devil:

Why haven't u tried bull riding, sky diving, or eating a poop sandwich? For the same reason most men don't try on women's things. It doesn't appeal to them!:doh:

[Alice B]

I'm with DocSherry on this one. Did not try dressing or ever considered it until in my early 60's.Then out of the blue I wanted to try it and was instantly and totally hooked. I can't think of anything before that time that would have influnced me. My life, my work and my friends were totally macho. I can not feel sorry for anyone who has not tried dressing, unless the urge was there and they were restricted from trying.That is a very small grouping.

[Nikki A.]

I feel sad that I have to hide this part of me at times. However there are people that I am out to and I this helps. I don't feel sorry or sad for others, if they are happy in their own skin why should I impose my feelings or beliefs on them.

[SHINY-J]

Not me. I actually envy them a little.

Their lives are simpler. Unlike many of us -they don't have to deal with worrying about whether they'll be accepted for their clothing choices, if they'll be shunned, beaten, or if their marriages will be destroyed because of what they 'need' to wear. "they" are comfortable in their skins and their -um- assigned -or 'appropriate' wardrobes and there is no inner conflict.

There are days when I think about how nice it would be to not WANT to show the world that I'm a girl inside - knowing that I can't (thanks to my biology, my relationship status, and my distinct lack of courage)
Still - even with all the difficulty they cause in my life, I don't think I'd willingly give up my feminine feelings. They're as much a part of who I am as the (decidedly male) body I inhabit.


I agree.. as much as I enjoy my dressing and the feeling it gives me, I wonder if I could find that same feeling and happiness in life just being a “regular guy” with no urge or desire to dress.

If the world was a different place and people were more accepting and less cruel and judgmental, I’d be 100% on board with dressing in femme. But in the world today, even with society seming to become SLOWLY more tolerant and accepting, I would still take that nonexistent, magical pill that would make these urges and desires go away.

[suzanne]

Women's clothing styles are so varied and diverse that its way more fun to put together a feminine outfit. But with so many more variables, it can be more complicated too. That said, when I am dressed in dress or skirt outfit I can believe in, I feel like I can conquer the world. I get no such confidence boost dressed as a boy. But maybe that's just me. Does a real man feel such empowerment when he wears a business suit?

[SHINY-J]

Because I had no gender issues until age 50. When I tried on my first female clothing item!:battingeyelashes:

So, why didn't I try on anything before then? Because it never occurred to me!:brolleyes:

To those of u that project how u feel on to other males? You're way off base! Most men have no interest in women's clothes. Except getting them off of the women they bed!:devil:

Why haven't u tried bull riding, sky diving, or eating a poop sandwich? For the same reason most men don't try on women's things. It doesn't appeal to them!:doh:

I laugh/snorted when i read this... lol

[Micki_Finn]

I’d be careful with this sentiment. To “feel sad” for someone basically implies that they are lacking or inferior somehow. If someone said “I feel sad for these crossdressers who can’t just enjoy their god-given gender” I’m sure you’d have a difference reaction. Do you also feel sad for gay men because they will never love a woman? There’s a fine line between empathy and condescension.

[DIANEF]

Of course there are men who miss out in this thing we do, but I wouldn't say I was sad for them. There are people who do not appreciate art, or beauty, or music. It is their loss but my feeling is one of indifference.

[Maria Blackwood]

No. People are doing their own things.

[Pixie_94]

Not exactly, in this case, they don't go through some awful, harsh or (sometimes) crippling things we go through. I'm sorry if I seem a bit fatalistic.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Helen :hugs:, I guess that they don't miss what they never had. >Orchid...:daydreaming:...

[sometimes_miss]

They will have missed out on that feeling we're all so familiar with. Wearing a lose fitting skirt on a warm day, hose on shaved legs. So many feel good sensations. Even standing in front of a mirror and seeing that shapely figure looking back.

So when a male looks at me when I'm out dressed with that look of distain I think it's your loss, you're the one missing out on life.
I'll trade it all in a second, for losing all the conflicting female type feelings that screw up my life. Sure, I've learned to adapt, but the mental gymnastics necessary just to have sex like a normal male does just get in the way of successful relationships.
I'd say that men who have no desire to crossdress are pretty damn lucky!

[Cheryl T]

Sad for them, not at all.
Most don't have the ability to appreciate the fabrics and colors and textures that we love so much. Their loss, our gain.

[CONSUELO]

If we can assume that almost everyone is comfortable with where they are in life, why should we feel sad for them. Those of us who get great enjoyment out of something should not be disdainful of those who do not share our passion.
I love back country walking and after a strenuous long hike when I come to where I left my vehicle and see people who cannot even be bothered to walk further that the edge of the parking areas I do find myself thinking that these people are missing such a lot in life. But who am I to judge, they may have many things in their lives that are missing from mine.

[char GG]

My husband has said that same thing when the pink fog is hanging around.

Many of the men I know have very full, fun lives that don't involve wearing dresses. I know many pilots, sailors, motorcycle riders, travelers, and athletes who would say the same thing about the things they like to do and wonder why most people don't do them. Everyone has something that's important to them.

[Helen_Highwater]

I was, to put it mildly, more than a little surprised by the number of replies that described their dressing as more of a curse than a boon. The “I’ll take the red pill it it’ll cure me” had me thinking of the way drug addicts talk about wishing to end their dependence. I understand that many of us face trials and tribulations brought on by our dressing but feeling so negative about it and yet unable to stop sounds like the worst of all places. I think those feeling need airing in a separate thread in order to do them justice.

I appreciate that there are other things in life, skydiving, snowboarding, painting, a myriad of things folks can and do to add to their life experiences. The difference between those activities and what we do is that there’s no social stigma associated with say hang gliding. As far as I know no-one has been shunned by family and friends for taking up hill walking.

So if I feel a little sad for those males who look at me enfemme, and it’s the whole body language that gives it away, and I know they’re less than impressed, it’s because they’re constrained by a form of bigotry ingrained by society, their upbringing, friends, work colleagues, a whole raft of influences. Those who pay me no attention, just let me get on with my life may have never thought about trying on women’s clothing, much like they’ve perhaps never thought about fire eating. So for Mr. Joe Public who like me is going about their daily life I say good for you, fill ya boots. Those disparaging of what we do are the ones that I do feel a little sadness for as they have that negativity in their lives.

Let's face it, men in frocks is not going to become commonplace any time soon. It's not going to be the next must have fashion item. If however most are indifferent to our choices that's a good place to be.

[Alice Torn]

I feel sad for me, not them! They do not have the awful, conflict all their lives i have to deal with, and social troubles.

[Kelly DeWinter]

No, Not at all. Doesn't that sound like the same kind of sediment that the CD/TG community receives, why would we reciprocate ?

[krissy]

Great reply,
Thats how i feel i will never stop dressing love it too much:hugs:

[LilSissyStevie]

What comes to mind is that old phrase "whistling past the graveyard."

[biancabellelover]

I'm 100% with docrobbysherry and Alice B

Up until around 18 months ago I considered myself a 100% hetero male. Almost all of my experience of crossdressing was listening to Eddie Izzard talk about it in his comedy skits and interviews. And since I've never considered it my business as to how others live their lives (with the usual provisos) I never gave it a second thought.

If I saw a crosdresser in the street, I would likely think "Oh, that's a crossdresser". Apart from mentally commenting on how close that person "passed", that would be about it. It would never have occurred to me that I was missing out on anything by never having dressed. Looking back, in a hypothetical conversation where a crossdresser told me that they felt sorry for ME because I wasn't one, I would have told them that their feelings were misplaced.

Now don't get me wrong: I LOVE Crossdressing, and the entire world that it has opened for me. I feel like I've discovered an entire new "self" that I never knew existed.

But it's not for everyone, and I wouldn't feel sorry for anyone who isn't one.


There’s a fine line between empathy and condescension.

Agree.

Michelle.