I'm curious about something

[Pixie_94]

Hello everyone! I hope you are having a nice day.

I would like to see what's your view on something I have been told by some people here.
Why is being like some of us seen as a gift? I have seen some people saying "It's a gift, not a curse", so I'm curious about this.

P.S.: Thank you for your time.

[azncd]

I'm sure there will be many reasons people believe this, but as much anguish and confusion it causes, it also opens your eyes to a whole new world. Not just in terms of clothing options, but also even just being able to open your mind to how others think and feel. Being able to explore many aspects of your own self that maybe you didn't even know were there. Lots of things.

I always feel that knowledge is enlightenment, and just being able to experience more things allows me to see more of how I work and who I am.

[Rachael Leigh]

Well for me it’s a bit of both, it has opened my eyes to what others especially those who deal with being trans and not able
to find acceptance of others.
Curse wise for me is being a bit in between both genders and that makes each day difficult at times

[docrobbysherry]

I've heard countless stories from the T's I've met, DP. Some inspiring, some tragic! I'm meeting a T friend later today who was upbeat about going fulltime a year ago. Now, her marriage is failing and she's constantly depressed because of confusion about their children!:sad:

I stumbled around confused for 12 years trying to deal with my new "hobby". But, after finally coming out online and going to meet other trans, my life has become so busy and enjoyable! Even tho I'm still in the closet at home, Sherry's T life is much more full, rich, and exciting than my vanilla friends. Most r about my age, 75, and have little to look forward to except samo, samo, until they pass!:sad:

[Sarah Doepner]

I think it's always a good thing to take a fresh look at things from a new perspective. Being transgender offers that in spades. I don't know if I'd call it a blessing or a curse, but definitely it's a challenge. As my signature line suggests, it's how you deal with it that matters. If you find peace of mind and become a better person though the experience then the blessing classification sure seems to work. If you end up watching your family disintegrate, lose your job and become disenchanted with life, then the curse can hold the floor.

[Elizabeth G]

I would call it a mixed blessing. I definitely don't see it as a curse anymore although when I was younger I might have. By not boxing myself in to a single gender viewpoint I feel blessed that I can have a broader perspective than I might otherwise experience.

[SamanthaToday]

no sooner I feel I am accepted I soon read a story that scares me back.

I'm on holidays and I have met and seen 4 gay couples who were either married or just married. I seen countless gay males and females couples.But not one trans person, we'll not obvious anyway.yet I know there are events for trans people like divas Las Vegas but we aren't quite main stream yet. But The World is a changing. So if it's a gift it's a gift not yet delivered. But it's coming.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi DP :hugs:, It is being able to enjoy having the BEST of both worlds for me.>Orchid...:daydreaming:...

[sometimes_miss]

Making the best of a bad situation. To quote someone I once met, who lost his genitals in an accident, 'Well, at least no one can kick me in the nuts!'. So I suppose there's some sort of good side to any horrible thing that happens to us.

Or perhaps, trying to convince the rest of the world that crossdressing is a great thing. As we've seen throughout history and even today, propaganda is an interesting tool, if you tell people the same lie enough, eventually some of them will believe it. And in this case if we tell ourselves that crossdressing is wonderful, some people will come to believe it and find comfort in that idea.
I just can't, because it seriously messed up the rest of my life, and there's no way to reconcile that all this TG stuff in my mind is good, when it is the obstacle in the way of what I want. I suppose that one could make all sorts of claims that what I REALLY want is to dress as a girl all the time, transition, and live as a woman, but there are just far too many problems with that hypothesis.

[jennifer0918]

To me its a gift because when I dress I am so happy when I do dress. To me it's helped me become a better person.

[mbmeen12]

It is like a rose bush...roots to a stem w/thorns, leaves and then the rose (life)....

[Beverley Sims]

Certainly was a gift for me at eighteen, I was a blonde bombshell.

I was told that and yes I did look good THEN.

The curse comes later when the rot sets in.

[Isabella Ross]

It's a blessing because it brings pure joy into my life. Never do I feel so alive as when I allow my femininity to surface. Granted, I also did not feel this way when I was younger.

[Stacy Darling]

There are the negative and positive to many a thing Pixy, and we each will see those differently.

So if I can say in a very positive way that if you yourself look at what you believe to be the positives of being how you are (GIFT) and the negatives (CURSE) you will be well on your own way to deciding if it for you is a Gift, Curse or a Great Gift!

If I personally use the word curse when referring to my dressing, my head is in a bad place!

Sorry Pixy but I also won't use the word Dead in reference?

Stacy!

[DMichele]

Until the last several years of my life, I did not express my feminine side, which today I realize made me less complete as a person - a curse. After accepting myself as a transgender female, I am happy than ever - a gift. So I am glad that I accepted my TG femme identity, which can be challenging, but also a great learning experience for self and for others.

[Rachaelb64]

A girt or a curse? Really it just the two sides of the same coin. First you to accept who you are. Second, don't give a damn about what the 'toxic' people say.
Life is short, being who are and happy is more important than the labels society likes to stick on us.

[Tracii G]

It all depends on your frame of mind so how you deal with says a lot about how you deal with things.
If you are an optimist then you can see things from both sides and enjoy the journey.
If you are a pessimist then all the bad things you can dream up that could happen keeps you scared and in the closet so to speak.
I know a lot of people these days seem to think everything is an ordeal everyday and just being a drama queen or king.
They complain how hard life is and how bad things are all the time and in general have a negative attitude.
Trans people are really good at feeling down and being negative just read the forums.
I consider it a blessing because I can be happy and positive. I'm not stuck in a negative, evil, nasty, hateful world anymore.

[kimdl93]

Well....its all a matter of perspective. If you hate yourself and hate the impact the desire has on your life, or at least on your mental state, then I suppose you might consider it a curse. If you're delighted with the opportunity to express yourself as a woman at any opportunity, and feel good about doing it, then its a blessing or gift. If your conflicted and feel sometimes as though you're cursed and other times not, then you're probably about like most of us.

[Alice Torn]

There was a former member, who left years ago, who's member handle was, Curse Within. This dresser said it caused tremendous conflict, for him, and potential disasters in his life, in every way. He was on here many times, struggling with it all, and he was clearly, overwhelmed with misery because of it. I have not dressed more than once a month recently, and I know it brings much inner conflict in me, for several reasons. I really do want to date, and have a lady GG friend again, before i breathe my last. Each of us is a unique, individual, from different backgrounds, heredity, and many influences. Some of us suffer greatly with codependency, and are socially crippled, from very toxic families, and have had a really tough time socially. I find that it is more a curse to me, than any gift.. I wish i never had had any desire to dress in womens clothing, and been a normal guy, because of the isolation and anti social aspect, and shame i had even before i started dressing. part of me would have liked to have been a girl, and part of me is glad i am a male. It is the loneliness, and unmet social needs, never getting to have a wife, that hurts most. As a fairly nice looking woman, i would have been flooded with male attention, and in demand. As a lonely lower income man, with emotional and mental issues, life is a lonely desert, of littel female companionship or attention.

[Rogina B]

I view it as a gift. One that needs gumption added to it. With that combination,it allows us to have experiences that "the others" will never have. It also is as close to "resetting" my short life as I will ever have.

[Aunt Kelly]

It's both, of course, but on balance, for me, the positives outweigh the negatives. Yes, life would have been simpler, but I would never have met some of the wonderful people I've met in this community. That alone would tip the scales, but it's all the things I've learned, all of them, that really seal the deal. I am definitely a better person for having embraced and accepted my feminine side.

[LexiNexi]

You get to live as two different sexes. How many people experience that in life? A handful really. If only we could get society to see it that way.

[Tracii G]

Get to live as two genders not sexes you mean?

[Stephanie47]

Life is what you make of it! Is wearing women's clothing a gift? Or a curse? I'm not a psychologist. However, if you are not accepting of yourself, then wearing women's clothing is going to become a curse. If you wallow about in self pity, shame, self loathing my money is on cross dressing is a curse. If you are not conflicted, wearing women's clothing may enable you to be more accepting of others who do not conform to societal norms and expectations. It is not surprising to me any more that men you scream about gays and lesbians or transgender men and women are of the group they wail against. Is it possible to not be prejudice against others without being a cross dressing man? Of course it is. I get a kick about posts that suggest cross dressing releases a 'feminine side' as if a non-cross dressing man cannot practice those attributes associated females. I've encountered many women over the years who are totally devoid of any attributes normally associated with their gender.

On occasion I do go to some sites that have posts from women of troubled and ended relationship with a husband who cross dressers. I do read them to see if there is something I am unintentionally or intentionally doing that would be viewed as a curse. Sometimes a little self reflection on how I affect others is in order so it does not become a curse to myself or my wife.

[sometimes_miss]

While out driving today, I came upon a thought that perfectly describes it in what amounts to a simple statement that can be taken both ways.

It's a prize: A boobie prize! Take that for what you will.

[biancabellelover]

So far, for me it's been a gift.

I've found an entire new "self". My old male self is still there (mostly), and is still the foundation of my life. But I now have an "alter-ego" where I can display my feminine side. When I'm dressed I feel very different and experience things in a different way. When I'm in my Male mode, I find my emotions, feelings and actions are more tempered, and I find I'm less judgemental.

But... I've not come out to my family (and may never), I don't dress publicly, and no-one knows apart from my wife. It's likely that this situation will never change.

So, yes, a gift, but one I'm keeping hidden.

Michelle.

[Rogina B]

So, yes, a gift, but one I'm keeping hidden.

Michelle.
Feeling a bit sad for you..I wish you could come out of your box that you created..

[Sometimes Steffi]

I'm bigender or gender fluid, so for me, it's a blessing.

I found this great quote in a quick google search

"Before you judge my life, my past or my character. walk in my shoes, walk the path I have traveled, live my sorrow, my doubts, my fear, my pain and my laughter. Remember, everyone has a story, when you've lived my life then you can judge me."

I see it as a way to get in touch with another me, and experience things from the opposite side of the world.

[biancabellelover]

Feeling a bit sad for you..I wish you could come out of your box that you created..

Please don't!

I don't require anyone's pity nor have I asked for any. I'm not denying that my situation could be described as "a box of my own creation". But the fact of the matter is, is that I'm quite happy there for the moment.

If and when I ever leave this "box", I'll do it of my own volition, for my own reasons, and I'll be happy doing it. Right now, I'm perfectly happy where I am.

Michelle

[Amelie]

If some women in the world feel dissatisfied with their life living as a women, then I too feel the same way. But becoming a man isn't going to make my life any better.

[Cassandra Lynn]

So, in coming out to my friends, I gave the 'if I could go back' speech, you know, the one that goes like this, 'I should have, wish I could/would have been born female'.
One question I get asked tho is......'if you could go back and have your gender match the male sex would you?"
But my mind tells me no, it's either all female or the me I am now., and so I tell people no, which confuses the hell out of them.

So when I first saw the word 'gift' here at this site, I was like yes!
Attached to my existence it made total sense; of course, I can say that because I accepted myself as trans about 9 yrs ago. And sure, I too, suffered for many long years. There was lots of heartache, and much confusion too, but I got thru it.

I came to realize i'm non-binary and comfortable as living in that duality, about one year ago.

I suppose one way to look at it is........... I got a 2 for one special at birth, or the Goddess gave me an extra gender in case I decided the other one wasn't doing it for me.

So ya see.......it's a gift.
Cass

[Stephanie Julianna]

I am very happy with who I am. It is all these facets of my personality that make me a better husband, Father, Grandfather, Nurse and yes. even an ocassional woman. Sounds like a gift to me.

[Becky Blue]

Good question she is a gift for me on so many levels:
- experience a lot of joy when dressing or going out
- I have expanded my horizons and experienced things that most genetic males don't get to do
- By embracing my F side and 'she' has made me a kinder, better, more mindful, more empathetic person a better parent and (ironically) husband
- Meeting some amazing people both online and in person

[BrendaPDX]

Good morning DeadPixel, It is a blessing for me. We are so few and rare in nature, we have been given two sets of eyes and thoughts to live this world through. We can experience so much more than the mundanes, we can enjoy things that they will never feel or know. I am not going to say it has always been easy; but yes it's been a blessing for me. Brenda

[Krisi]

Crossdressing is not a "gift" and it's not a "curse". It's something you do. Anybody can do it although not everyone can do it well.

[Rogina B]

Krisi,In my case I was speaking of being gender gifted and that is different than appearance...

[DIANEF]

Gift?, maybe, maybe not. I do know that this is a wonderful part of my life that has made me a better person, both physically and mentally. Some have said if they could take a pill to end their CD desires they would take it, I definitely wouldn't.

[Jodie_Lynn]

A gift? maybe, sort of.
Mostly it feels like a curse. My life, as I knew it has changed in ways I never imagined, and there are pluses and minuses.

[Cassandra Lynn]

Crossdressing is not a "gift" and it's not a "curse". It's something you do. Anybody can do it although not everyone can do it well.

Yes, exactly.....crossdressing is something one does; gender is something one lives. Mine is attached to me inside and out.
Since the OP didn't specifically ask us about crossdressing, some of us are speaking of our gender variance as a gift.

Cass

[Pixie_94]

Since the OP didn't specifically ask us about crossdressing, some of us are speaking of our gender variance as a gift.

Cass

Cass, that's what I was meaning, but I see the post got plenty activity about the two possible meanings, which is surprising and nice to see. But yeah, I meant crossdressing, for some reason I even feel ashamed to say it, even in this forum.

[Jodie_Lynn]

Crossdressing is not a "gift" and it's not a "curse". It's something you do. Anybody can do it although not everyone can do it well.

Perhaps for you it is 'just' crossdressing, but for others it runs deeper than just the clothes. In that respect, it can be a blessing or a curse or both.

[Rachelakld]

Started as a curse in a less tolerant society, I'd have mental lows when not allowed to express myself.
Now I'm older, society has changed, it's a gift, I'm more empathetic, more understanding of others, more compassionate and loving the life style.

[Krisi]

Krisi,In my case I was speaking of being gender gifted and that is different than appearance...

Well, that's pretty confusing. What is "gender gifted"? We all have a gender.

[Sandra_Dodds]

Good question she is a gift for me on so many levels:
- experience a lot of joy when dressing or going out
- I have expanded my horizons and experienced things that most genetic males don't get to do
- By embracing my F side and 'she' has made me a kinder, better, more mindful, more empathetic person a better parent and (ironically) husband
- Meeting some amazing people both online and in person

Pretty much sums up how I see it but there is a curse element for me. I wonder at times what life would be like not being caught up in crossdressing. What it would be like being able to walk down the street without thinking "I'd like to wear what she's wearing" and not wanting to wear clothes or make-up, or having to hide in the closet. I realise I'll never know, so I just accept it for what it is.

[Georgina]

I'm curious about everything. I don't know if dressing is a gift but it is definitely not a curse. How could anything that brings such happiness be a curse?

[Heather J]

Sometimes it's both depending on the day.

[Tracy Irving]

I see it as neither a gift not a curse. It is who I am. Nothing more, nothing less.

[Jaymees22]

Most of the time I feel it's a gift as we seem to be a chosen few that can get relief and happiness from just changing our clothes.

Of course there are downsides, hiding it and sometimes guilt and many more things.

But I really don't think any of us would be doing this if we didn't get something out of it.

[April Rose]

I can't seem to find the original quote; I think it was Carl Jung:" Beware Of Gifts from the Gods".

[Kelly DeWinter]

I've always wondered you have to think of yourself as 'being' anything.
. I don't think of my skin,eye or hair color when i get up
. I don't think of my height or size all day.

The most important thing is to just accept yourself

[Charlotte7]

I have to say that I find it very much to be a gift. Yes, it's just me being me, but I see it as a gift that me, being me is like this. I'm a halfway person, I have bits from both sides. When I'm out, say in a pub, and there is a group of blokes being, well blokey, then yes I can join in and play along, but that's all I would be doing, playing along. And the same with a group of women too, I could play along there too. Of course, in my case, I'm more on towards the man side, but well toward the female side on the spectrum and that is great, as I have an insight into both worlds. A friend of mine once said that he found himself (alone and by mistake) in the ladies underwear department of a Marks and Spencer store somewhere. He told me how uncomfortable that made him feel, and I could tell that he was still shaken by the experience. For me, there would be no discomfort, I'd have a look around and see what they had in, in my size :) Then of course, there are the clothes, well for me there are the clothes. Women's clothes are simply better than men's clothes. There are more styles, they are prettier, they are more comfortable, the materials that they are made from can be fantastic. So, in my case, to have the keys to the magic kingdom, to be able to express the princess that is inside me, yes, that really is a gift that I have been given.