What were a few reasons you told your wife why you have to cross dress?

[Scarlett398]

Hi girls, I was wondering when you told your wife or significant other, what were a few reasons you gave her as to why you had to cross dress?

I told my wife that cross dressing had been a part of my life dating back to when I was a young boy. And that she wouldn't believe how many men are out there enjoy wearing women's panties or clothing and why it was so exciting for men to do it. And how there maybe men working for her now that may have a pair of sexy panties on or some thigh high hose on underneath their regular men's clothing and she would never suspect it or know it had been going on for years!

I also told her that based on my research on cross dressing, many women can't understand why a guy would find putting on lady's panties, skirts, tops, dresses, heels, jewelry and accessories exciting. Reason being, because they would not find (only in much rarer cases) women getting excited about putting on men's underwear with a pair of khaki shorts, a pocket T shirt, and a pair of deck shoes. This is why many of them can't understand why men get excited and find a strong need to cross dress as a girl/lady/women. Because most of them can't see getting excited about putting on men's clothing.

I also told her that I understand why she and many other women don't want to talk about cross dressing and don't want to see their husbands or significant others dressed up as a girl. I also told her that my need to cross dress is extremely strong and will remain so for probably many years, however, I would respect her wishes and limits to my cross dressing and I was to keep it private and won't do it while she was in the house.

I told her how much of a thrill it was to transform myself from a handsome guy to a cute, pretty, sexy, and classy girl like she gets to dress up as every day. We men find putting on sexy panties, tights, thigh high hose, panty hose, dresses, skirts, tops, heels, boots, booties, makeup, wigs etc. to be exciting, thrilling, sensual, sexy, and even relaxing and even very therapeutic! That the feel of the things that she gets to wear every single day fills all of the above adjectives for us. There's nothing quite like feeling the thigh high hose against our skin - same with the panties, bras, jewelry, and all types of female clothing, footwear, jewelry, makeup etc. To them it's no where near as exciting because they've been doing it all of their lives every day. We, as men who cross dress, enjoy every single part of the cross dressing process from beginning to end.

I could write about this subject for days so I'll bring it to an end now and wait to hear from you and why and how you told your wife or significant other as to why you felt such a strong need to cross dress.

Thanks for reading and I'm looking forward to hearing your answers to this question...XOXOXO Scarlett

[sometimes_miss]

I told her my story (see sig link) and explained that having to dress in male clothing all the time is like an itch you cannot scratch; it's irritating, interferes with concentrating on whatever task I'm trying to do, and having to put up with it all day long is simply exhausting. The best comparison I could give her was, think about being at a formal affair. Everyone else is wearing tuxedos and evening gowns, but you're wearing a bathing suit, and it doesn't matter whether it's a gender appropriate swimsuit. You're still going to feel like you're in the wrong clothes. That's how I feel all the time when dressed as a male.

She didn't care. Or rather, she didn't care how I felt. It bothered her so much that she seemed horrified at the thought of it, and eventually divorced me claiming that I was not the man that she thought she had married. All she cared about, was her own feelings, not mine.

[Tracy Irving]

I told my wife before we were married. I did not want to lie to her about it or live a DADT life. Luckily, she did not run away horrified so no need to throw her back. She was a keeper.

[Krea]

When we had The Talk i found it very difficult to explain to my wife why i liked CDing. The reality was i didn't (and possibly never will) truly understand why. In the end the best i could do was to say that it somehow made me feel happier/relaxed when i was dressed.
Unfortunately my confused and inadequate attempt at explanation didn't offer her any clarity and, altho she said she would try to be accepting of it, she went thru a time of worry and uncertainty before she began to be more comfortable about my CDing desire.

[mbmeen12]

What were a few reasons you told your wife why you have to cross dress? Ill answer the question based I am no longer married but I did tell my GF. I wanted to be able to dress for her and not lie and hide.

[Charlotte7]

I told the person I was to marry (now been together for over 30 years) right at the very start of our relationship. Why? Because I knew that I was always going to dress this way and, if she couldn't accept it, far better for her to move on having been out a few times with someone who was a cd, though (then) never actually having seen me dressed, than living an impossibly secret life with all the potential trouble that would bring later down the line. At that time I could envisage a single life with dressing but not a married life with no dressing. Yes, I was lucky, very lucky, but to some, maybe limited extent, at the start of a relationship, there is a window where we can make our luck, and dreams can come true. As for reasons as to why I cross dress? No, I didn't give any explanation as to why, I just let her know as it's what makes me me.

[alwayshave]

My forum name explains it, I always have. I told my fiancee it was a compulsion since I was 4 or 5, it had never really waned and I expected to want to do it my whole life. She had the usual are you gay, etc... questions. She has been pretty supporting.

[Beverley Sims]

I told my wife that I made a better girl than a boy.

She agreed.

[Scarlett398]

Hi Lexi! I would imagine that cross dressing has led to many divorces over the years. As I mentioned in my writing, so many of them can't understand a man's desire to dress up as a girl because they wouldn't want to dress up like a guy and shop in the men's department for all of those more than boring clothes.
It's so much more fun to shop for Scarlett's things that it is mine. I spend very little time in the men's department now. And my wife knows when we go into a store like TJ Maxx or Marshalls that while she's picking things out to try on, I'm browsing in the same department. Only now she knows what's up. I don't buy any girly clothes while I'm helping her pick our cute sexy stuff for her wardrobe but I do look and come back another day to purchase the things I liked.
My wife isn't horrified at the thought of me cross dressing, but at least now, she's accepting of it and I can keep my Scarlett things here in our new home. I'm glad when we had "The Talk" that it didn't lead to a separation or divorce and that she loves me still for the loving, kind, considerate, caring, and supportive husband that I am. And I'm on the very handsome side too and that's confirmed by all of her friends and coworkers. But she will never tell anyone that I like to cross dress.
Take care, Lexi, and I'm so glad you get to dress whenever you want now! XOXOXO Scarlett

[Eryka1]

This: "I told her how much of a thrill it was to transform myself from a handsome guy to a cute, pretty, sexy, and classy girl like she gets to dress up as every day. We men find putting on sexy panties, tights, thigh high hose, panty hose, dresses, skirts, tops, heels, boots, booties, makeup, wigs etc. to be exciting, thrilling, sensual, sexy, and even relaxing and even very therapeutic! That the feel of the things that she gets to wear every single day fills all of the above adjectives for us. There's nothing quite like feeling the thigh high hose against our skin - same with the panties, bras, jewelry, and all types of female clothing, footwear, jewelry, makeup etc. To them it's no where near as exciting because they've been doing it all of their lives every day. We, as men who cross dress, enjoy every single part of the cross dressing process from beginning to end."

I couldn't have said it better!
Eryka

[Asew]

Part of what I told her is I don't know what drives me to do it. A big part of it when I was younger was sexual and still a small part now. Part of it is that I have never liked men's clothes and just tolerate them. Part of it is exciting (like a sexy outfit or shopping for new clothes). Part of it is relaxing (comfortable to curl up on the couch tucking your legs under a skirt).

She also told me why she thinks I cross dress. She thinks I started since I was lonely and never had girlfriends (except a few dates in 7th grade) but wanted one so bad. She thinks I am obsessed with skirts and dresses and seeing them on women is not enough, that I have to experience them myself too.

[Robertacd]

Reasons? You mean like excuses?

I can't say I ever gave my wife any reason for it, nor do I recall her ever asking "Why?"

[Cheryl T]

Simple, I got tired of hiding and stealing time to dress when I could have been sharing that time with her.
Luckily she is fully accepting and now we spend all our free time together doing everything. Wish I could have had the courage to tell her years ago and get all that time back.

[Stephanie47]

I told her the truth. I have no idea why I do what I do! Even before finding this site I told her many years ago some BS about my feminine side. She shot back something to the effect of "tell me about it after you have a baby!" After that I figure there is a difference between "The Why" vs "What I Feel!" If I were to have that discussion again I would relate a conversation I had with my counselor (PTSD war related issues). She is of the opinion each person, male or female, has some degree of the other sex within his or her DNA. I could also go another route which may appeal to my wife about prior life experiences. She believes she has been influenced by a prior life. I have had a similar experience.

[Teresa]

Scarlett,
I felt my head was about to explode through spending so many years in solitary confinement ( being in the closet to some people ) , I had reached the point of ceasing to function and I didn't know what the deep gut feeling was all about . On top of that I had the deep feelings of shame and guilt because of my dressing and the asscoiated sexual content . I needed to tell someone so I could share it with them, I wanted to be out and the only suitable person was my wife !

The elation was short lived , within a couple of weeks the DADT wall had gone up , my feeling of rejection and being unloved took me to the edge of ending my life . That was twenty years ago , I guess looking back the damage was done , things were never going to be the same again so perhaps we shoiuld have called it a day then . As far as my wife was concerned it never got any better the more time went on the more hurt I felt , the comments were unnecessarily cruel at times , I guess I have never got over the hurt from that period. My wife now knows she is paying the price for her lack of understanding because it finally brought our marriage to an end . I'm still content to say it was amicable at the end , we kept it together for the children and grandchildren , one downside is she hasn't learned her lesson ther comments are still there given half a chance but now I can just put the phone down on her and there's nothing she can do about it .

No it's not the happy ending of your story but at least I have the freedom to be out as Teresa and I'm no longer tied by DADT restraints and there's no going back to it !

[NancySue]

I, too, told my wife, before we walked the aisle. I was sure she’d sprint to the nearest exit door. She didnt. She was fascinated...how, why a jock would want to wear feminine clothes. I’ve been asking myself the same question since youth. I’m totally hetro, her primary concern. We often talk. My first, and still #1 are nylon stockings, closely followed by panties, bra, heels, etc., etc. she’s totally supportive and often helps, i.e. makeup, wig styling. I continue to search for some kind of answer that I can understand. The “Pink Fog” comes and goes...sometimes intense, sometimes, a smile. I figure, I’m, more or less saddled with this, so long ago, I decided and chose to accept and enjoy dressing..and, I do.

[Gillian Gigs]

I had several occasions where I had close calls, and figured that it was better to come out in my timing, than being caught. I also was tired of the hiding, and having tension in our marriage. She was reasonable accepting, and understanding. Looking back, it was the best thing to do, with the results being greatly favourable for me. She is now very accepting and any boundaries we have are well within being acceptable with me. I have never pushed my luck with my CD'ing, and the boundaries have increased due to the trust we have between us.

[sara66]

I had stopped dressing for more than 10 years. I was going through a lot in my life at the time and the pressure was building up and one night I just blurted out I like to wear women's clothes. There was no planning or deep thought it just happened. I am glad I did. We talk for a long time that night. She is not quite dadt but prefers not to be part of it. I think once she understood this start when I was 5 it made it much easier for her.
Sara

[Scarlett398]

Gillian, I'm so happy things worked out for you and your wife and your story sounds like a carbon copy of mine! Glad to hear where you were and where you are now with her increasing acceptance of your cross dressing! This thrill of ours has been the result of many divorces and I'm glad we didn't have to go there with our wives! XOXOXO Scarlett

[Micki_Finn]

Do ANY of us know WHY really? “It makes me feel good” or something along those lines seems to be the most common reply but it’s not really an answer to the question because it’s basically an endless loop of “why?”

[Scarlett398]

But that wasn't the question Micki...The question noted above was, "What were a few reasons you told your wife why you have to cross dress?" Not just why you have to cross dress.

If you tell your wife one reason - "Because it makes me feel good", that just ain't gonna fly with a wife who you are trying to encourage to be more accepting of your cross dressing and give her some material to digest to help her get to that more accepting place!

If, like a lot of us, had or have wives that think cross dressing is disgusting, unacceptable, off the chain weird, just can't imagine a handsome or any man would want to where female panties or clothing of any type, reprehensible, repulsive, a solid cause for a separation or divorce - you have to come up with some very convincing reasons why your wife or significant other should be accepting of your thrill to cross dress.

For some of us, if we just said to our wives - "It just feels good" a lot of us would end up have to do what they call a total purge and all the female goodies from top to bottom would have to be in the bottom of a landfill to keep the wife on board as our wife instead of as our separated or divorced wife.

So when we finally get the guts up to have "The Talk", which in some cases for us took years to do so, you have to bring logical and truthful answers and have several long winded discussions before they understand the desire and have them eventually accept the cross dressing desire with whatever limits they decide to have us abide by!

Maybe you're not married and never had to address this issue with a wife, it you did, you might understand what kinds of answers I was trying to receive from those of us who had to come with some really solid rationale as to why we cross dress to our wives.

Sorry if you didn't understand what I was looking for. It wasn't "Why we cross dress." We all know that it feels good and some of us have several other reasons why we do it. It's the reasons we gave our wives as to why we do it of try a achieve a modicum of acceptance from them. That's it...Sincerely Scarlett

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Sara, I think this would be an important point to bring up and that is that the urge and acting on that urge started as a young boy long long ago before we ever started even dating our wives or girl friends. I the wife thinks we started it just after we married them, they may think for some perverted reason or two that they were a big part of the cause of us wanting to cross dress!

Thanks for your input on what I considered to be an important aspect as to how you addressed this cross dressing issue with your wife and how you eventually got to a point where she was at least not repulsed by the idea of your cross dressing....Sincerely Scarlett

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Nancy, you're one of the lucky ones in a small minority indeed where the wife is totally on board with your desire to cross dress. And I'm so glad when you brought the subject up initially that she thought it was fascinating. That, my girl friend, is very rare indeed!

Thank your lucky stars you've got a real gem on your hands with the wife of yours. Many of us out here would love to have our wives at your wife's level of acceptance and even participation! XOXOXO Scarlett

[Jodie_Lynn]

I had no other reason I could explain, other than "it felt right"

No sexual overtones, the outer garments suited the inner me.

Now that I am on my own, I dress as seems appropriate to me for the situation. And, not to offend anyone I have never fetishized any of my gurl clothes. My panties are simply my underwear; I have no special brand or pattern, or style. I think I have more girl jeans in my closet than guy. and the "guy jeans" are pretty much just for work.

[SHINY-J]

In the few relationships where I told my girlfriend about my dressing, it was really because I felt like 1.we were to a point where we were both serious about being together and being exclusive, and 2. That I didn’t want to have to hide my desires anymore.

Years ago, I did a MASSIVE purge of my entire femme wardrobe before I moved in with a girl. It wasn’t that I was trying to rid myself of the desire by getting rid of the clothing and shoes... I just didn’t have anywhere to hide all of it and I knew it would eventually come up. At the time, like it is with many serious girlfriends, the desire to dress just sort of fades away... sometimes for several months.. I’ve got that “new girlfriend” feeling and that’s all I really need... but,eventually, the dressing desires creep back in... an ad will come on TV and I’ll see a sexy woman in sexy shoes or boots and remember what it’s like to wear them... or we’ll be watching a movie and see a sexy actress in a sexy costume and I’ll imagine myself wearing it... or we will see a sexy woman at a bar or club in sexy clothing... or a magazine ad... or a commercial.. or I’ll be doing g the laundry and come across some of her panties... etc. eventually, it always came back and I broke down and spilled the beans... for me, it resulted in the relationship ending each time.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Scarlett :hugs:, It is who I am and it's just what I Do. >Orchid...:daydreaming:...

[Charli]

I told her after about 3 weeks of dating.
I could not really tell her why.

[Steph_CD_62]

I told my wife because I knew who I was and I didn't want any secrets. I didn't want to hide anything from her. And I told her within a week of meeting her face to face.
I know most of my desire to crossdress came from when I was a teenager. Seeing women in lingerie excited me and I found pleasure when I felt it against my skin. As I grew older it no longer excites me that way, but I am more relaxed and comfortable when I am dressed.

[Scarlett398]

Teresa, you know I love to read your writings! Your command of the English language and you word content is right at the top of the writers and contributors of this site!

When I read many of your replies to my posts and others as well, I can feel the pain and verbal abuse your wife put you through. And I'm sorry that abuse and disrespect resulting from your need to cross dress led to you almost ending your life.

I've been to that point in my life a few times, however, in my situation, it had nothing to do with my cross dress or my wife's disapproval of my cross dressing. My near ending of my life had to do with an intentional set up for failure at my high level job having to do with the purchase of weapons systems that went underneath our American jet aircraft. I lost a very high paying job because of the jealousy of two supervisors who one of them died of bone cancer two years after he set me up for intentional failure assigning me a task he knew I was absolutely incapable of accomplishing! The other supervisor experienced a mutany on the bounty after mistreating every employee supervised by her and they all ran her off from her job without her being able to come close to having enough years in to collect one dollar of retirement from the government. Enough whining about the past and what was done. It's been hard to put it in the rear view mirror because instead of collecting a retirement pension of over $4,000 a month, I collect a bit more than one forth of that. Multiply that times 30 years of retirement and your up into the millions of dollars!

Bottom line, Teresa, I know as well as anyone, how close one can come to ending it all based on circumstances we simply can't control. Inconsideration, unkindness, hatefulness, jealousy, and intentional destruction directed toward us from others can lead to near death by our own hands.

However, I'm as happy and content as I've ever been in my life right now. You girls can see it in my smile. That's not fake...it's real!
Even though my retirement check is much lighter than it should be, I have plenty of money and security with where I'm at now and God has blessed me based on how I have served Him and others in a kind, caring, and considerate way!

Love ya Teresa and always love to read your writings! XOXOXO Scarlett

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Me too Cheryl! Love ya girl friend! XOXOXO Scarlett

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Thank you so very much Eryka! I love the fact you echoed my sentiments! Love ya girl friend and write me anytime! XOXOXO Scarlett

[Betsy]

My wife and I have been married for 35 years. I recently started XD and at the time only panties stockings and shoes. This was before I found this site. I walked into the room wearing mens shorts, Leggs thigh high stockings and shoes (ballet flats). After she scoped me out and thought a bit she asked me why. I told her I liked the way they felt and looked. She asked if I was going to transition to become a girl. I said no. She said it's weird but it's only clothes. My/Our adventure continues!

Betsy

XOXOXO

[colleen ps]

what were a few reasons you gave her as to why you had to cross dress?

Hi Scarlett.

As i never had to "come out" because it became a natural progression from spicing things up at playtime by wearing some female underwear, i never got questioned about any of it for over thirty years but all of a sudden, while on holiday fully dressed for two weeks at the holiday cottage a couple of years ago, my wife asked me if i had any idea why i enjoyed dressing up. The only answers i could give were that it just feels like i am complete when i transform. i could not give any real answers, but after a long discussion about my past, we both came to the same conclusions. My mum always wanted a girl and maybe it was my way of making her wish come true. But, i never got around to telling Mum. Doh. I also spent much of my youth with female cousins and friends and thinking back, i did enjoy dressing up in girls clothes with them for a few years but then when we drifted apart it stopped. later in life, i often found myself admiring women in nice clothes and wondering how it must feel to dress that way, but even then i did not indulge. when we were first married, My wife went on short holidays with my son and my parents as i could not go due to work commitments and i used to lay some of her clothes out on the bed, maybe a chair etc to "feel" her around me, but even then i did not succumb to any temptation., so we came to the conclusion that the "feeling" was always there, i just did not understand the reason. Then after "playtime" i tried on a dress, shoes and pantyhose and felt wonderful. i walked out from our room and she looked at me and giggled "how do you feel?" she asked. I said, It feels right! i feel this is me! and i feel so relaxed.

Going back to our holiday conversation, she said that when i am dressed and for a while after, i seem a different much less stressed person and this led to her asking if i wanted to go for a drive, and go as you are. Dont change your clothes.

so, to answer your question as best as i can, i think the main reason i gave her was that it makes me feel complete and totally stress free.

We were not going to take a holiday away this year but she recently suggested we go back to the cottage for at least a week and i feel this suggestion was her way of saying she understands my needs.

I feel so lucky!

[Patricia_Campi]

Well, I told my wife two years ago. She didn´t judge it, but made clear she don´t like it. So, I am in a DADT relation.

But, one time we were discussing it and she asked me why do I like it. She stated it is sexual. My answer was that indeed it have some sexual component, but at the same time my dressing is more psychological than sexual.

Now, reading you girls answers, it hit me that dressing make me feel complete! I believe that is the right word.

But, maybe, my wife will never understand this, so, back to closet.

Cheers,

Patricia

[Rayleen]

I also told my wife all about it and started slow wearing gurls clothes in front of her. I explained it too that it was a need and it was my inner feelings that made me do it.
Soon, we were shopping together for her and myself and wanted to be honest with her, we never had any secrets for each other and we live a happy life.
Now I enjoy my dressing in and around the house, and not out in public and am happy.

Rayleen.

[Scarlett398]

Good for you Patricia! Don't ever take what opportunities you have to dress at home in front of your wife and go shopping and pick out things for yourself and your wife together! XOXOXO Scarlett

I love to shop with my wife and she won't buy a thing when it comes to women's fashion without me giving her the thumbs up! She really appreciates my fashion and style sense of style. She gets compliments everyday on the outfits she wears to work and knows I'm the person picking them out for her. I just wish I could by my Scarlett clothing and shoes with her by my side. I got to do that once around Christmas time when she allowed me to buy a couple of those snug fitting turtle neck tops I wear with my skater skirts on a regular basis during the fall and winter months. Have a super weekend you lucky girl friend! XOXOXO Scarlett

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You're funny, Patricia! I love that "back to the closet" remark at the end of your reply! So many things hit home with me from your writing....the DADT, the sexual component, the psychological component, and the fact that dressing makes you feel complete. All well said and in line with probably the majority of us who are married on this site! XOXOXO Scarlett

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Hi Colleen, you are very lucky indeed! I'm so happy your wife is all in with your cross dressing. I, like you, feel so much more relaxed and stress free when I have regular opportunities to get my total girl on as Scarlett. I think for the majority of us on this site, it is relaxing and stress relieving just as sex is for us only a bit much more as far as sex is concerned. If I have to go two weeks without having super sex with my gorgeous redhead, I start getting a bit cranky. It's the same with not being able to get my total girl on at least once or twice a month.....Thanks so much for sending in a reply to my question. Some girls thought I was asking why you cross dress and that one is an old worn out question. My question is what did you tell your wife as to why you have to cross dress. A much different question than a simple "Why do you cross dress". That's been asked a hundred times on this site. My question was much different from that one.
Thanks for writing your reply, Colleen, and have a super upcoming weekend! XOXOXO Scarlett

[MichelleCD]

I can't say why I told my wife. Honestly, I can't recall a real urgent need to tell her. I think it started with toenail polish. Well, I take that back, it started with sex. She knew I was bi before we married. She let her fingers do the walking and found a place I enjoyed them, sort of speak. But the dressing started with her doing my toenails one night. And the conversation lead to clothes. The next thing I know, I was trying on clothes with and without her. She was all into it with me at first. Even buying me stuff.
One thing I always pointed out to her was that I would be the man she needed, when ever she needed me to be. I think that's important for a wife to know. Just for the simple fact that she married a man. It keeps everything balanced.

[Taylor186]

I was told by a crossdresser many years ago that if you know why you crossdress then you are not one [a crossdresser]. That is still true for me. As Nicki said earlier it is a endless loop of whys without a core answer.

[Scarlett398]

You bet Michelle...Our wives definitely have to understand we will always be the man she always wanted and needed and I'm so glad you brought that up because it is so really important for them to understand. That our cross dressing takes nothing away from our manhood, especially when it's time the light the candles when arriving home from date night and get things rolling in the bedroom!

Thank you so much for bringing that important fact to light! It's really important! XOXOXO Scarlett

My wife doesn't want to make love to a sexy, cute, classy girl. She wants to make love to a handsome, loving, sensual, creative in bed man!

[MichelleCD]

I was told by a crossdresser many years ago that if you know why you crossdress then you are not one [a crossdresser]. That is still true for me. As Nicki said earlier it is a endless loop of whys without a core answer.

Why men want to CD. Answer, because they just do. Why the need or urge to do it, comes from deep inside the brain (where our thoughts, wants and wishes come from. And no one can honestly answer that. Like why do you like/dislike the taste of something, or the color of something. No one can say why we like or dislike anything. All of that comes from a part of the brain that even we ourselves can't explain. It just pops in there.

Put on a dress and your brain might tell you, "Hey, that's pretty cool. Let's take it a step further." Or put on that same dress and think "OMG, that's just stupid." That's the cool thing about human nature. We can't decide what we think is right, our brain, mind or soul, already has that determined. Our bodies just sort of go along with it.

Does that make sense?

[5150 Girl]

The best reason of all to tell is that eventually yo will get caught! Your SO will either walk in on you, or uncover your hidden stash!
However in my case, I hope to one day be able to transition. I met my current SO dressed up like Saha Palin for Halloween. I will likely meet the next just hanging out in a lesbian bar.

[LeannS]

My wife found my stash and we had "the talk" I have never acted any different then and now I am still the same person.
I will go shopping with her but never buy me anything just look and see if there might be something I like if there is I will go back during the week.
and once in a while she will ask for input on outfits.

[Pumped]

I told my wife that I enjoy it and it relaxes me. She wanted to know more, why did I feel that way. I just told her that I didn't know, I can't explain it.

[NicoleScott]

Same here, Pumped. I can't explain it, and that's what I told her.

[GracieRose]

I told her that I do it because it feels right and it relaxes me.
When she pressed for more explanation, I admitted that I really don't understand it, although I wish that I did understand why.
The need/desire just won't go away, and I'm not sure that I want it to (other than to protect her and our children from potential embarrassment).

[Cherylgyno]

My wife caught me admiring myself in the mirror about one month after we wed. Silly me, I thought marriage would cure my cross dressing.
I gave my wife the "I promise never to do it again" line. As I unzipped my dress. My wife called the Balogna sausage that I was spewing as she rezipped me.
We spent the rest of the day and into the night talking and cuddling.
I use to ask myself why I cross dressed. I never got an answer as a kid/teen. I don't think my wife ever cared why, just that I was happy.
As a pre-teen it simply felt good but due to stereotypes it felt wrong at the same time.
As a teeny bopper it felt right and oooooh so good. There was still the sereotypical feeling.
For the last 30+ years it's simply natural. The stereotypes have long gone.
The talk as it were was my wife convincing me more than me convincing her.

[kimdl93]

The first explanation was that “it” was a sexual kink. I stuck with that a good long while, until i told her i suspected I was transgendered. Seems the sexual fetish explanation was more acceptable than the gender identity acknowledgement. Since nothing ive tried has worked, im reluctant to offer advice...only my experience.

[Judy-Somthing]

The reasons why I told my wife, or the reasons why I cross-dress that I told my wife?

The reason why I told my wife I cross-dress is due to this site making me accept who I am.

I told my wife that I've been cross-dressing since I was 5 and I did it because it was so much fun!

Telling her did not go well, she says she'll leave me if I continue to dress!

[~Renee~]

1. I couldn't continue fighting the impossible 40 yr battle of wills in my head to deny myself
2. That this activity is my earliest memories
3. That it has everything with my internal sense of being, not sexual activity.

[sometimes_miss]

Do ANY of us know WHY really?
Yeah. Some of us do. But I think many simply cannot deal with the why, so they repress any knowledge of it. After all, almost all of us grew up being told that for a little boy, being girly in any way is the most awful, terrible thing a boy can be: Consider, when an athletic coach wants to belittle you, the worst insult you can call a male is sissy or the other word. And that sticks with us all our lives.

I was told by a crossdresser many years ago that if you know why you crossdress then you are not one
That makes no sense at all.

Why men want to CD. Answer, because they just do. Why the need or urge to do it, comes from deep inside the brain (where our thoughts, wants and wishes come from. And no one can honestly answer that.
Sure we can. Just because YOU can't, doesn't mean no one else can.

The best reason of all to tell is that eventually yo will get caught!
Not necessarily. The ones who never got caught, simply died without anyone ever knowing. Same as those who murdered someone, and never got caught. They managed to take their secret to the grave with them. And it would be pretty hard to find out, because not many relatives of the deceased are going to go public, telling, 'Hey, you know my dad? He had all these women's clothes in his size hidden away in his closet!'. People generally don't want to admit that their close relatives are crossdressers.

[Scarlett398]

Lexi, I love your responses to the above quotes. Well done girl friend and look forward to hearing more from you in the near future!
XOXOXO Scarlett

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Very good reasons to tell your wife....Way to go! XOXOXO Scarlett

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Thanks so much for your input, Kim! And with close to 19,000 posts, I bet you could tell us about your experiences for days and nights for a long long time. Take care Kim and thanks so much for chiming in! XOXOXO Scarlett

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Cheryl, you have a wonderful wife and glad she was on board from the very first time she caught you admiring yourself in the mirror. You are in a small minority where the wife was just fine with your cross dressing from the first time she caught you getting your girl one! Lucky you! It took years to finally get my wife in the accepting area! I'm glad she's fine with it now but it took a lot of time to get here and I still have limits I'm OK with abiding by... Love your story and I look forward to hearing more from you, Cheryl. Have a super weekend! XOXOXO Scarlett

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Nicole, short, sweet, and right to the point! I see you're from the deep south area as well. How is cross dressing accepted or not accepted in your area? This ain't San Francisco is it? :D

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At least you were totally honest and I hope she still loves you and accepts the cross dressing side of you...XOXOXO Scarlett