Surprised by my reaction.

[Helen_Highwater]

On my way home late last night, walking in drab, a car pulled up at a junction about 100m from me, someone got out and I could hear male voices.

I was then aware the person who'd got out was wearing a dress but my spidy instincts told me the wearer was male.

No wig, flat shoes, definitely not a femme walk. I was drawn to look. In that instant I became a voyeur and I was surprised by the need I felt to watch the person walk away along even at the late hour, what is a busy road.

As you can imagine all sorts of thoughts entered my head. Is there a sister CD'er living close by? Is this just someone out for a stag do and fronting it out? All sorts of permutations.

I suppose in those few moments I in some way reverted to being a muggle. In my defence I suppose what I initially saw was just so unexpected, a bloke in a frock out on a rainy night and should it be the case that it was a CD'er then more power to them. I admire their courage.

It did make me wonder if my reaction would have been different if that person had been "full on", totally enfemme, presenting fully. So less obviously male? I guess I'll never know.

It's perhaps given me a better insight into just what sorts of reactions the general public experience when they see one of us. It's definitely made me more committed to ensuring that when I go out I present as well as I can.

I had no doubt as to what I saw. I want to leave every doubt in the minds of those who see me.

Hey a thread without the P word.........so far.

[Teresa]

Helen,
I didn't think a thread existed without the " P "word , I apologise it keeps coming back into the theme of my threads .

Iwas intrigued by you hearing male voices when you first became aware of thr situation , were they raised voices as if there had been an argument and the CDer was made to exit the car ? Also how were they walking ? I fit had been some sort of party and the person went in drag her appearance and behavior would have been totally different . Sorry last question , did the car drive off once the CDer had got out ?

I'm going to wager it was a one off,maybe a stag do or a rugby club party something like that .

OK the bottom line is you are going to try harder with your presentation , dare I ask if the " P " word is in your thoughts ??

[Beverley Sims]

I have seen this myself and dismissed it as a prank of some kind.

Usually there have been "supporters" close by. :-)

[Helen_Highwater]

Teresa,

The first thing I heard was along the lines of, "Thanks for the lift". It certainly didn't register as confrontational and yes the car just drove off. As for walking it was textbook bloke.

Beverley,

I to suspect it was just a one off. A boys night out, like I said possibly as stag do.


The whys and wherefores really don't matter. It was the surprise I got from my reaction. It was like I'd never CD'd in my life and was seeing this as someone for whom this was a totally alien idea. It was observing it done badly, and I don't want to offend those who are MAID, that subsequently made me more determined that when I go out my presentation, the attention to detail, will be at the top of my game.

And as for, that word, I just want to do what I do as well as I can and then be content in going about my business being a good ambassador for our community.

[JenniferMBlack]

I think alot of us have the same sort of reaction. How many times have you seen a post of I saw a cross dresser today? I don't know that it is a bad thing but so many are surprised to see a CD OR T'S, I see someone most days here in Vegas. It dosent bother me and most times they aren't presenting very well or left something totally obvious. An example of the later last week I saw a decent looking girl dressed kind of sloppy but still cute, then she turned and I saw her facial hair. Sure I was taken aback but it didn't bother me. I think what everyone needs to do is let others live their life and not assume poeple are bad and judge them for innocent things they do.

[Asew]

I think I get excited about seeing another crossdresser similar to how I get excited to see another runner (or someone who graduated the same college, or grew up in the same hometown, etc). You have something in common with them so it piques your interest more than a typical stranger.

[Cherylgyno]

Saw something similar many years ago. A group of guys got drunk together. One couldn't hold his booze. The other guys dressed him in drag and threw him out in the park in the center of town when he passed out.
I made sure to pass the park just after sunrise to check on the guy. Cops were getting ready to arrest him for drunk in public. I told the senior cop what I had seen. The cops talked it over. The senior cop asked me if I could drive the guy home. He got in my car, before we got too far he decided there was something he thought I should know. He told me that his friends caught him and they got him super drunk then kicked him out. He was supposed to walk home like that so that the whole community would see him. I took him to his house. I didn't tell him that I too dressed.

[Sarah Doepner]

I people watch. That doesn't change regardless and when I'm comfortably unconcerned about how I'm presenting I can still be surprised by things I see. Some people almost automatically move to offer judgement on what they see, but I'm not in that group. My responses are usually more empathetic than critical when I see someone attracting unwanted or unexpected attention and I become embarrassed on their behalf (even if it doesn't seem to bother them). So not only do I become focused on what is happening to that individual but I've moved a little into how I'd respond if it were me. That kind of projection may help me learn a little but there have been times when I allowed that vicarious shame impact my choices.

Many years ago I was in Las Vegas and one evening I was walking through a casino with others from our group. One person in our party was not presenting in a way that would offer doubt as to their birth gender. At one point I overheard a comment, that was intended to be heard, by a drunk 20-something man. "What's will all the men in dresses?" He wanted more than his friends or others in the area to hear, but those in our group to know he recognized us for other than women.

I'm still ashamed that I parted from the group at that point and found my way back to my room where I sulked for the rest of the evening. I'm still embarrassed by my response but I attribute it to my confidence being fragile at that time. If it happened today I might attempt to explain that I was not wearing a dress but a nicely coordinated top with my skirt and possibly how impressed I was that he was paying attention to us and not all the attractive young ladies in the area. Probably not the safest response, but my confidence is at a different level now. If I'm prone to judgement now it's more likely I judge the person offering unwelcome criticism rather than the target of their observation.

[jjjjohanne]

I'm a guy who wears dresses, etc., but I do not present female. I'm just me in pretty clothes. There is a whole site for guys who incorporate women's wear in their male wardrobe, skirtcafe.org. So, it is not impossible that your sighting is someone like me. I wonder how people perceive me when I am out and about. I suppose that plenty of crossdressers have seen me by now. None have said, "Hello" to me. I know I am a bit of a unicorn being this way. I have come to terms with it. Society does not seem to mind.