Aversity scratches at my door yesterday

[Joyce Swindell]

Yesterday was the monthly meeting date for our local group here in north Florida. The meeting is at 7:30 every second Saturday of the month. This month I was able to get ready at home and then travel out to the touristy area out near Disney where it all was to happen. We took our time in the morning and didn't get out the door until later than planned. (not unusual) My supporting wife and I had planned on doing some shopping and getting mani-pedi's before meeting the girls at Carrabba's around 4:30 for dinner prior to the meeting. With the late start and being hungry we swung through a McDonalds for a snack and then continued onto shopping. We had a wonderful experience at a Payless Shoes Superstore! I bought two new purses and a pair of pink flats and my wife got a few accessories and two pairs of shoes. We spent less than $100 on all of it!! With only 45 minutes left before meeting the girls at the restaurant we found a nail place but didn't feel we had the time to do both mani's and Pedi's so we both had manicures. They separated us to opposite sides of the room with my wife closer to the front of the establishment. I had overheard what sounded like a odd sounding sneeze from someone near the front but thought nothing of it. Apparently this was an adult woman with three of her friends doing the childhood fake a sneeze inserting "dragqueen" instead of the "bullshit" insertion. My wife said the woman had done this twice. I'm sure she was looking for reaction and not being successful they went on about their way. It's probably a good thing she stopped the silliness when she did as my wife would not have tolerated a third without have to have to say something to her.

This is actually the first time anything like this has ever happened to me. I'm not sure what I might have said or done if had noticed this behavior. Most likely I would have ignored her but having had the experience and contemplating it ...you know...hind sight being 20/20 I might have had some funny responses like maybe a " Oh honey...I'm just a crossdresser...we leave the drag queen action to you all" lol I also thought maybe an educational approach but ...nah The previous would be funnier.

Thoughts on what your response might have been?

[Kandi Robbins]

Given that you were with your wife, a nonresponse was most appropriate. Idiots will always exist and this woman certainly was one! No upside in any type of confrontation.

[Micki_Finn]

Let’s just say I’m vindictive and “cough” sounds a lot like another “c word” if you catch my drift.

[Jodie_Lynn]

I agree, nothing positive would emerge from confronting the woman. At best, it would sour an otherwise pleasant day; at worst, you'd have a very visible and audible confrontation in a very public place.

[Beverley Sims]

Ignorance was the best policy.

Confrontation and it can develop into something nasty.

[Helen_Highwater]

Joyce,

It's they who demean themselves by such actions. They're the ones lacking in both grey matter and good manners.

I was once in a dept. store cafe and about to pay for my drink when a teen aged girl, one of a group of 3, blurted out, "Oh my god, that's a man" loud enough to carry across the room. I was so tempted just to go and sit at the table next to them. However I thought the better of it as there seemed no point in starting a possible confrontation.

[Teresa]

Joyce,
Tough choice , they should have known better ! I'm afraid I would have found something to say in reply because I wouldn't have been in that situation with my wife .

[Stephanie47]

If this was noticeable to the staff I would have expect the staff to tell the woman to knock it off. I wonder what her companions thought of such infantile behavior. If it persisted and I had noticed I suppose I would have said something to her. I would not have gotten down in the gutter with her, but, would have given her some choice words. If I was an observer I would have given her some choice words to knock it off. Intolerance and bigotry should not go unchallenged.

[Jaylyn]

I've grown a lot wiser in my old age and if I were younger I'd have probably came back with an inappropriate insult to her but now I would do exactly like you and just ignore the whole thing. I might have aid something to the staff there though and maybe they would say something like your money is as green as hers so knock it off. Best though to do what you did.

[Tamsin Secret]

Joyce, firstly I'm sorry you had to experience this. The problem with people like that is that whilst she thought she was courting her pathetic friends as a ring leader a counter reaction from either your wife or yourself would probably have only fueled a situation not requiring any flame.

Had a retort been made it probably would have highly embarrassed the person in question (and quite rightly so) but in doing so an adult with that level of intellect would most likely have reacted in a hostile manner due to the fact she had been shown up in front of her cheerleaders.

As others have said it was probably best that the situation naturally came to a close by the group getting bored of the very childish behaviour they were displaying.

Karma is a wonderful thing and I truly believe in it. Life will treat her to a lesson later on down the line in much more effective ways than you or your good wife could have delivered by lowering to their level.

I truly hope this experience doesn't deter you in anyway. We will, I'm afraid to say, all experience some sort unfair situation in our journeys but hope we can all pull through them with resolve and dignity as we should.

Personally, in my fledgling journey, I probably would have crumbled into a bit of a mess and rocked in my confidence. I will try to remember my own words I've written here if I ever have to deal with such a scenario.

All the best to you,

Tammy :<3:

[DaisyLawrence]

I'd have said " madam, I'll see your dragqueen and raise you an asshole".

What would have been really interesting is what she said next :)

[Tracii G]

Immature people like that just do it for attention so its best not to react to their silliness.
By not reacting you essentially aren't paying them the attention they desire so they are more hurt that you can imagine.

[JeanTG]

Provocation. Agree it's best not to say anything. As my therapist says, if someone has a problem with how you look, it's their problem, not yours. This does remind me of a story from a few years back. I was at a café sitting at an outdoor table while my wife was shopping elsewhere in the complex when this very old mid-70s Chevy convertible pulls up with two young women in it. They got out of the car, saw this 50-something (at the time) gentleman sitting and quietly enjoying a coffee, and proceeded to deep french kiss in front of me, obviously expecting a look of shock and horror. But I just kept on doing what I was doing.

I did feel like saying "ladies, if your idea was to shock me, you've failed miserably, haven't you heard? We're in 2015 already!" (it was about 3 years ago). In retrospect, I should have broken the ice by asking them about their car. It was a cool car. I could care less that they were gay, but all that garish chrome in 2015, oy vay! I almost needed sunglasses to look at it!

[Joyce Swindell]

Thanks everyone for your support. It hasn't nor will it keep me from being me. I have agreed for a long time the statement "what people think of you is none of your business" so no biggie...they are the ones who will have to answer for any unkindness weather it's Karma or God...I'm certain it will bite them/her back.

I just found it interesting that all of the places I've been both alone, with my wife or a group, I've never had any reactions like that....more so ...it being is a touristy area where this happened. They could have been locals and were thinking I was from out of town cuz nun of them thar wood ever have a man in thar social serkle be a drag queen...huh yuh!

[DaisyLawrence]

They could have been locals and were thinking I was from out of town cuz nun of them thar wood ever have a man in thar social serkle be a drag queen...huh yuh!

Joyce you're a funny woman for sure! Please say something next time, it would be funny and life's too short to miss the opportunity for funny!

On the same theme, I once went into a pub in a remote village in north Wales where everyone knows everyone and they generally think they hate the English for historical reasons. So me and my English sounding friend pop in for a pint and the customers all look to see who it is. Out of town Englishmen so they all stop talking English and start in Welsh which no-one outside Wales can understand a word of. The local assholes that prop up the bar are rabbiting on to each other about us bloody English tourists and how they wish they could take us outside and give us a reason to not come in again. Everyone could hear. How do I know what they are saying? Well, as it happens my friend is Welsh and speaks the lingo perfectly despite his English accent. So, we finish our pint and walk to the door and my friend stops, turns around to face the bar and in perfect Welsh explains to the assholes why they are a disgrace to the Welsh people. You could have heard a pin drop. Did we get a beating? No, the idiots were too ashamed by the standing ovation that the entire rest of the clientele and management gave us as we smiled and calmly exited the building. The owner followed us into the car park and said that there would always be a free pint behind the bar for us (at least that's what my said he said as it was all in Welsh and I didn't understand a single word). You see, sometimes it is right to respond to provocation.

[CarlaWestin]

Negative people seem to have an incessant need to keep the fire burning with their internal hatred of all things they disagree with.
My last fabulous adventure was punctuated with a sneer from an elderly man while his wife smiled at me approvingly.
I'm always armed with a perfect one line reply but, I haven't had to resort to that in years. My tendencies are more aligned to letting people take
their stress away with them instead of engaging in their toxicity.

More importantly, how was the meeting?

[Tracy Irving]

Saying nothing was a wise move.

If you needed (or wanted) to say something, "Nobody has ever accused you of being a rocket scientist."

But, then again, that might have gone right over her head.

[char GG]

Wasn't there a saying?; "you can't fix stupid".

I think you did the right thing by ignoring her.

[Joyce Swindell]

Carla....the meeting was good. No real business was discussed in great detail. Made some plans for a couple upcoming meeting dates....a dinner theater, a picnic and such. Mostly talking about this and that and​ just laughing and sharing. Then afterwards ...to the Twisty Treat! For ice cream and some more chatting.

Funny....lots going on at The Twisty Treat....and not one off color or snide remarks or a second glance...hmmm.?