sexual feelings

[glynnis]

Howe many of you have sexul feelings when dressed.As son as I put my stockings on in the mornings I am very aroused, normally in front of the wife so she gets aroused as well.I am a very lucky gurl that she accepts me for how I am.:)

[Elizabeth G]

The sexual aspect of crossdressing went away for me many years ago.

[Teresa]

Glynnis,
At your age it must be therapeutic , I'm wasting my time yet at my age waiting for the T level to drop !!

I have to say the sexual side is still there but nowdays I find it more of an irritating distraction , but if we are still fully functioning males sometimes there isn't a choice .

To answer your question no it doesn't sexually arouse me as it once did , most of the time it's usually a rush to get myself ready to get out the door , sex is buried in the background . I'm thinking more of what's on my shopping list and what other jobs need to be done, by the time I get back there's usually enough energy to do some jobs before preparing my meal .

[Beverley Sims]

The sexual arousal wanes with time but it still lingers.

[Confucius]

The sexual feel-good neurotransmitters include dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and a few others. I believe that many of the same neurotransmitters are also associated with crossdressing. Hence there is a sexual component to crossdressing. However, crossdressing isn't just about getting ourselves sexually aroused. As we get older the sexual components to crossdressing seems to wane. Many crossdressers experience little to no sexual arousal when crossdressing, but that doesn't deter our need to crossdress. Even without sexual arousal we still experience comfort, gratification and a sense of belonging. It still makes us happy.

[Ressie]

I'm with you glynnis even at 65 years old. My friends take viagra I wear silky panties!

[Tracii G]

I hate pantyhose so much I can't imagine getting excited putting them on.LOLOL
If that gets your motor running more power to you.

[franlee]

Always have and hopefully always will. I am not as aroused as I once was but the feelings are still alive and lingering each and ever time. I f that feeling ever leaves I will soon lose interest and move on to some other pleasurable thing. No shame, just being real.

[MiniRock]

No question it's sexual. In fact, sex cures me of the desire to cross dress - temporarily of course! And that has a lot to do with why I think that cross dressing is pretty much normal male behaviour. I certainly feel very much a man when I do it - the risk taking for example. It's a pity that women in general don't understand that. If their man cross dresses, he's probably pretty manly - in the sense of being interesting, imaginative, experimental, capable, even indeed courageous, qualities that are found in the best of men.

[Teresa]

MiniRoick,
Once the big buzz of risk taking stops that's when you start to really think where am I going with this . I've read your previous thread on another night out , when you can get to the stage of doing ordinary daytime things , I don't mean clothes shopping but a supermarket shop , hardware store , carspares etc. It may not have the same buzz but it still feels good . All the elements coming together in a comfortable way . Just passing people in the street without you or them glancing back and having natural converstaions .

I can see the male suggestion in your CDing but after the sexual component is put to one side there's something else still driving you , it's recogising that female element and accepting it then the male slant will ebb away . The big rush has gone but your needs haven't I'm enjoying that more than anything else now , the guy is gradually disappearing .

[Stacy Darling]

The sexual arousal wanes with time but it still lingers.

I also think that it will always Linger Eh Beverly :heehee:

But for me I think that it's my happiness which is more closely linked to any such arousal, and it is a complex combination of things which makes me sexually aroused, not simply dressing!


Stacy!

[biancabellelover]

For me it is almost always sensual, but often is sexual. There are times I can’t tuck...

Michelle

[missynicole]

Yes, everytime I dress which is quite often. I am a very touchy, feely and sexual as a woman.....

[phili]

I love analyzing, and the pressure to figure out whether all the pleasure is worth the pain associated with social rejection has motivated me to dig deep.

Clothing has multiple layers of meaning to us and to others, and has specific physical and sensual qualities that feel different depending on both internal and external circumstances. Meanwhile our attention, and that of everyone we see, shifts from internal to external, from subconscious to conscious, from past to present to future, from risk to reward, ... and human emotional and intellectual processing just can't keep up with it all!

I used to feel it invalidated my crossdressing to find that having an orgasm nullified the desire or reduced it to a fetish. Then I realized that almost all clothing is designed to be a frame for sexual advertising- to look more masculine or feminine, to exaggerate primary and secondary sex characteristics, to differentiate between the sexes to promote desire. Once we are sexually satisfied, we have no need for that- temporarily! The sensual components of women's clothes are all still there, but absent the drive for sexual relations, it is just easier [as we see women demonstrating daily] to wear something that doesn't initiate complex relationships with others.

Since masculinity and femininity are learned behaviors, it is no surprise that we may not strongly identify with our assigned roles, and we may simply want to cross over to the other team and be on their side and wear their colors, just so we are not confined to be endlessly chasing them.

When our sexual need is low, we can just enjoy, without any focus on the sexual aspect, the wonderful sensuality of the clothes women are expected to wear [I have heard many women say they crave sturdy fabrics, rough textures, etc- so wanting it all is just human nature as well.] But sensual is just a step away from sexual, so we will often find arousal appearing- from just a faint warm glow to full on wanting!

As we gain experience we see how women and men are all feeling a bit imprisoned- and we are clearly visible escapees- doing our best to navigate our world, where refugees from gender prison are looked at suspiciously!

[CONSUELO]

Lots and lots of us. You are not alone.

[Alice Torn]

Well said Phili. We are complex beings, that is for sure! I must admit, being a lifetime bachelor, with no chance ofr a wife, it has been sensual and sexual, and when all dolled up, i have desire to be with a gentleman, who would treat me like a lady, but i would not want sexual penetration by a man. Weird!? In guy mode, zero desire to be with any man. I still desire a wife, but it would have to be some very peculiar lady. I must admit, i get very aroused by the tall leggy lady in the mirror.

[darla_g]

I think there is always a bit of a turn on for me to dress up. I think if i didn't get that feeling I might not dress. Its a lot of work!

I know for some they claim it is for the craft of it and i guess I do too. I like to take pics and if i don't like what i see I probably wouldn't dress up for a while.

[Rayleen]

In the beginning, it was climax always, but now it slowed down. It all depends if you fantasise about fond memories of an event, it will be teasing to a climax.

But its always a adrenaline to be all dolled up, even at home alone.

Rayleen

[JessicaJessica]

If I am dressing for my boyfriend then yes, absolutely.

[Devi SM]

For me it was always a sexual thing. So just getting naked for dress was a trigger.
The other trigger was to be alone. It always took me to dress and enjoy sex at least with myself.
I could play everyday and several times a day with toys or if the opportunity shows up I could do whatever to have sex with a man.
So in that road I was very promiscuous and bisexual.
Curiously, after out to my wife the opportunities to dress are daily and the sexual component slowly began to diminish.
Even thought in those days I couldn't understand guys here that weren't interested in sex with men.
It's been two years since that, but in between I had the opportunity to be alone for two weeks and I dress every day and went out to clubs, meet guys etc. but then it hadn't the taste of the forbidden thing.
I don't know. Now that I'm in HRT for a month, T-blockers start working and just a few decline on sexual interest but dressing no longer arouse me.

Now interest in sex with men and women has almost dissapear. I'm bussy in my work. Every day I dress and I enjoy trying new ways to make up, new clothes.
Today I bought tickets for wife to travel overseas for two weeks in July and sincerely, I don't plan to meet a single guy.

So I arrive to the conclusion that Gender is not necessarily connected with sex, but in our minds it could be the highest expression of femininity.
I agree with Richard Novic, when in his book, Alice in Genderland, says that the summit of being a woman is to satisfy the sexual need of a man but all that changed for me. He says that we're teenagers in our feminine life and teenagers are willing to explore sexuality as an expression of their gender.
So now, no sexual arouse when dressing.

[Asew]

If I want it to, I will pick the sexier items and definitely get aroused. But if I just want to be comfortable it won't be so arousing (but sometimes my wife loves to tease me and it is really easy when I am dressed).

[docrobbysherry]

The more u do something, the less exciting it becomes.
I've been dressing sexy for 20+ years. I still get turned on. But, those days of sexual excitement from just throwing on nylons and a bra r long gone!:straightface:

[sometimes_miss]

The clothes don't inspire sexual excitement; that was one of the confusing parts I went through as a kid. As I went through puberty, though, I did get sexually aroused when wearing girl clothes, but also when wearing boy clothes. I suppose like most teen age boys, I just got turned on a lot.....all the time....no matter what I was wearing. The confusing part, was that I felt like I was supposed to be a girl, but it was always a girl that I was attracted to as well. Made for a very confused me so many years ago, before there were sites like this to help crossdressers find their way in life.

[LilSissyStevie]

The idea that dressing causes "sexual feelings" in me has it backwards, I think. It is sexual feelings that cause me to dress in the first place. Dressing is just a way to act out my autogynephilia (AGP)- the propensity for a man to be aroused by the thought of himself as a woman. I have AGP whether I dress or not. It is my sexual orientation more or less. Outside of "sexual feelings" I have little or no desire to be a woman. But I have no desire to be a man sexually. That's my quandary.

[Rachel05]

That was how I used to try and justify crossdressing to myself back in my teens but the truth is it was never sexual for me

[MarinaTwelve200]

Interesting observation, LilsissyStevie. I have a touch of that myself,and often fantacize about either forcefully being dresed or being physically turned into a woman---it gets me "excited" and serves as an "Aid to mastribation" and afterwards "dissipates."----Yet I DO NOT (really) want to become a woman---which makes me think there is also a "masochistic" element also involved. Otherwise, I am a heterosexual Male, but have a low "libido" little real interest in physical sex. After years of my own self anayliss, I have discovered that my Primary reason for CDing is "Escapisim"---That is to take a "Vacation away from myself"---becomming "not me". And no one is more "Not me" than The "woman", Marina Twelve..-----All my worries, responsibilities and cares melt away from me when I am dressed. I do not have to worry about doing anything "not masculine" ---I feel "free" and "liberated" and cantotally rest and "Unwind".

Yes we are ALL very "complicated" I doubt many of us have just ONE reason for CDing. CDing does us good in many ways.

[DIANEF]

Not a sexual thing for me at all, well, not since my early teens anyway. It is all about how well I can present as a female, and how good that makes me feel.

[Pat]

Many males start crossdressing because of sexual arousal, but most seem to lose the sex connection over time while the crossdressing persists. My personal theory has always been that the extreme motivation of male sexual arousal is needed at first to push through the societal taboo of crossdressing (we all know aroused guys do crazy things) but the choice to turn to crossdressing as opposed to some other behavior is because that's a built-in preference, not a random choice. Here's a cool quote on the subject:


Sexual arousal is actually a learned phenomenon that involves classical conditioning, sometimes called Pavlovian conditioning. Classical conditioning theory also predicts the extinction of learned responses with repeated unreinforced exposure to the eliciting stimuli. TSTG behavior persists even after extinction of learned sexual arousal responses to opposite-gender clothing and presentation, indicating that sexual arousal and fetishism are not causal factors in TSTG. Surveys of transgender people also indicate that they cross-dress for relaxation not for fetishism.

Bevan, Thomas. The Psychobiology of Transsexualism and Transgenderism: A New View Based on Scientific Evidence (p. 9). ABC-CLIO. Kindle Edition.

[Rayleen]

Interesting info Pat, tks for posting.

Rayleen

[Emma S]

It's def still there for me but when I start dressing they are usually homosexual thoughts and urges whereas in my everyday life I would say I'm mostly straight with the occasional guy on guy thought.

[Robbiegirl]

Yes I definitely have sexual feeling wearing frilly lingerie !

[jeniinnylons]

This explains it:

http://www.minddisorders.com/Py-Z/Transvestic-fetishism.html

[candice.aihara]

My feminine wardrobe continues to give me sexual feelings. Although it can get a bit awkward at times, I somehow manage. This is especially true during the warmer months. Hehe!

[Alice B]

Stillthere, but at my age it is very limited

[Pat]

This explains it:

You're referencing an obsolete version of the DSM. In the current DSM (DSM-V) paraphilias are not considered a disorder unless it causes a problem. Cool quote from the people who re-wrote the section:


The Paraphilias Subworkgroup is proposing two broad changes that affect all or several of the paraphilia diagnoses, in addition to various amendments to specific diagnoses. The first broad change follows from our consensus that paraphilias are not ipso facto psychiatric disorders. We are proposing that the DSM-V make a distinction between paraphilias and paraphilic disorders. A paraphilia by itself would not automatically justify or require psychiatric intervention. A paraphilic disorder is a paraphilia that causes distress or impairment to the individual or harm to others. One would ascertain a paraphilia (according to the nature of the urges, fantasies, or behaviors) but diagnose a paraphilic disorder (on the basis of distress and impairment). In this conception, having a paraphilia would be a necessary but not a sufficient condition for having a paraphilic disorder.

[Barbara Jo]

Let's be honest and realistic here..
Most females feel sensual and yes. sexy (to one degree or another) when wearing certain female clothes.... if what women have told me is true.

So what is wrong or unusual for us to have those feeling also?
The difference is, when we are aroused it, presents its self with a much more physical display of arousal.
The end feeling might be a bit different but the cause is much the same IMO.

Of course, the sensual feelings about any given item can can diminish over time as familiarity with it increases ..... for females as well as us. :)

[--Nina--]

At first It might have bin sexual but now it more sensual. I don't get aroused when I get dressed or when dressed just love the feeling of it all. Feels right..

[Sashauk]

It may well have been for me many years ago but these days it's more to do with comfort - both physical and mental.

[SaraLin]

I'll try to throw my two cents' worth in...

Like many of you have said - in my teen and early adult years, getting dressed would be sexually arousing for me. I found myself wondering if this was some kind of fetish and not an identity thing.

But - I remember that I was dressing even as a little kid, long before the sexual element kicked in. and even after the erotic thrill of dressing has passed, the dressing continues.

So what's going on??

Well, in my case I think I've figured it out. As a male I've always felt about as sexy as a dried out lump of silly putty. The body parts are wrong. the body hair is ugly. All that.

But put me in a dress and I can begin to feel desirable. the more feminine I can get myself looking, the sexier I can feel. Couple this with the raging hormones of early adult life and the results are obvious.

For me at least, it isn't so much the clothes themselves that are the turn on. They are more like a key that opens that carefully locked-away part of me - and over there is where a large part of my sexuality lies.

[LilSissyStevie]

Sexual arousal is actually a learned phenomenon that involves classical conditioning, sometimes called Pavlovian conditioning. Classical conditioning theory also predicts the extinction of learned responses with repeated unreinforced exposure to the eliciting stimuli.

If this were true then conversion therapy would work. It is much more likely that sexual arousal is the product of genetic predisposition + imprinting early in life before the end of puberty. There is not much you can do about either of those because they are permanent. But conditioning can play a part on top of of that. For example, someone with a "fetish" for blonds might be conditioned to also like redheads but it's unlikely that a diehard heterosexual can be conditioned to be gay. The more likely reason that CDs lose the ability to be sexually aroused by CDing as they grow older is that just about everybody suffers a loss of libido with age. They continue to CD for the same reason that married couples stay together after they quit having sex - there is just more to the relationship than sexual desire even though that is what drew them together in the first place. It's just that I've never developed any of those other reasons to CD. As my libido declines with age, so does my desire to CD.

[Kate Jennings]

Very sexual for me.

[Mandy T]

I have never thought about dressing up for a guy. Yes I am Bi but the dressing up was always for me. I want to create an alter personality and make it a real as it can be.

Mandy

[Girl]

Dressing doesn't cause sexual feelings for me but I love having sex when dressed, wearing lingerie and knowing that it's causing sexual feelings in the other person. That's really exciting!

[JennyBee]

Very sexual for me...

[Shely]

Teresa, I have to agree with you. I was out shopping yesterday dressed as in the picture and it was a pure pleasure to shop for dresses in a dress. I went to all the ladies departments and looked at everything. It felt wonderful all over. The best part is no one, not one person gave me any notice at all. I have only been shopping a few times and I am getting more confident every time I go out. the only problem is I want to go out in some of my sexiest dresses, not old womens clothes like shown here. Here's the third shopping outing photo. I had the young lady at the kiosk take with my phone.292559

[BrendaPDX]

Hi Glynnis, Yes there is a sexual aspect of it for me, but not just that, it just feels right.

[phili]

Pat mentioned that sexual attraction is a learned behavior, and I discovered sexual self gratification long before I learned how to appreciate and chase females as the appropriate outlet. But sexuality is also complex. I spent most of my life with a very simplistic view of it- 1. experience some kind of erotic feeling from almost anything - a smell, a picture, even just a pleasant physical sensation 2. discover erection forming, and 3. circumstances permitting, have orgasm, and get back to neutral activities. I never learned anything about myself, about what sexuality might be, or even to experience it very deeply.

After expanding my crossdressing to living ordinary life, I started to feel all sorts of new things. More emotions, more sensations, more complexity, more interplay with various strands of masculinity and femininity. And that sexuality is not always associated with sensuality.

I enjoy very much just the tingling of faint sexual arousal now, for whole days. That for me is fulfilling the promise of feminine clothes for me. But even when I am totally preoccupied with some task and not aroused at all, my clothes are very sensous and enjoyable, a nice serene pleasure, like a good meal. I feel both feminine and masculine sexuality at various times, and I just let it happen and observe!

Nice getting to know myself at last.

[Sherri_Christopher]

I must admit to getting aroused while dressing. It's not all about sex by any means, but it is an element when I'm en-femme and I have fantasies of being with a guy and he's treating me like a woman. It's been like that since my twenties. When I'm in guy mode, I'm only attracted to women. It's just the way it is for me and I've come to accept it. BTW, I haven't acted out my en-femme fantasy in real life... yet.

[Ressie]

I was out shopping yesterday dressed as in the picture and ...no one, not one person gave me any notice at all.

No one seems to notice me when I'm shopping for dresses in male mode either. Of course, I've learned not to check to see if anyone notices. Checking might cause suspicion.

[Sara.Blue]

Dressing in itself rarely gets me aroused.

Now if Im dressing in something sexy or looking at sexual things in the internet Ill get aroused, but really need the outside influence. I consider myself straight with a mild bi-courisos side. I am not attracted to males and have never been with a guy. However when watching porn sometimes I wish I could be on the female side to complete her experience.

[KelleyB]

As soon as I go to picking out either half slips or a skirt/dress, areas tingle.

Like yourself, i have a very lovely wife who has no known problems with me lounging in a dress all night.

[Valentina_Rossi]

Hi!!!

For Me, getting dressed is a means of expressing my female side, and not erotic in itself. It is also an all or nothing proposition: padding, breast forms, wig, makeup, etc.

In female mode, I think I might be at least bi-curious. I have fantasized of being with a man. And fantasy is fine, as long as one does not act on it. I would never do it, since i am in a relationship. For Me, it comes down to the respect to my SO.

I say "might" because i myself i am not sure. I think some of us girls feel a strong need to be validated as women, or at least to our feminity. And male desire can be a very strong validation or temptation of it. It is just important to not confuse this desire of validation with sexual attraction. In my case, it is still not clear to me.

Love love
Val💋

[susmitha]

I feel validated when a man can mistake me for a lady and have sexual feelings for me in a heterosexual sense. I don't know whether I will allow that man to have his way with me.

[alwayshave]

Glynnis, When I was younger, definitely. Now, not so much.

[Becky Blue]

From age 12 to around 40 yes very much so.... Then overnight that vanished and Becky emerged... its been zero now for well over 10 years

[Piora]

I have 2 modes of dressing. The first is extremely sexual. I wear a corset, very sexy panties and full fashioned stockings - and nothing else. The second is dressing "conservatively". This means wearing a bra, 'regular' panties, pantyhose/stockings, perhaps a waist clincher, slip, camisole, skirt/dress, blouse. etc etc. In this mode, I may get a little 'turned on' but it's very slight. I just enjoy the feel and look of the clothes. I also spend a lot more time in those clothes, than I do in the other 'mode'.

[Mickitv]

I love dressing and being sexy and especially sensuous but most of all when I dress I feel right.

[missynicole]

my female sexual feelings are getting stronger even as i get older....i guess i am ready to take the next step and be with a man.....either with one of us dressed or both of us...it can at times be so very confusing...but there is no doubt that dressing as a woman has lead me to this point....love to all

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exactly sweety

[Robbin_Sinclair]

For me it is almost always sensual, but often is sexual. There are times I can’t tuck...

Michelle

Yes. Simply said and true for me at 72. I’m a late in life bloomer, though. The equivalent of a pubescent teenager approach from the other direction.

For me, it is an addiction. In one Twelve Step program (NA), they say that “we can substitute addiction for another”, but not be reaching the core of the problem. Yep, that’s me.

But, for me, i realized that there is no problem involved in my life. My religious philosophy (Buddhism) allows me to be a happy human being, free from judging myself or others, as long as I do not hurt anybody. ❤️r

[Yinlingyen]

I get aroused from the moment I run a scented bath to get get shaved and ready to venture out.
The motion of putting on make up, eyelashes and nails further enhance my arousal.
The of course putting on my tiny panties and skimpy attire full gets me going.
As I am about to step out of my house, my heart beat goes through the roof......

[Brandi Christine]

Most of my dressing is preceded by a long drive, my thought process during the drive, my dressup playlist, & sometimes what I'm wearing underneath my work clothes all contribute to my excitement. The anticipation is part of the enjoyment.

Then comes the dressing, it is all about me becoming a woman, a sexual woman, as I take my shower, put on my perfume, my makeup, my nails, put on and style my wig, and get dressed up, always lingerie underneath & high heels, it's all about me getting ready.

Then it's pictures and sex, I have sex but no to orgasm for myself, I want to have sex as a woman again and again, to feel someone inside me is the ultimate feeling as a woman. To please a man is my strongest desire…

As I've said elsewhere I've never been with a man (I'm married, never cheated with either sex, and just the dressing leaves my heart conflicted enough when I think of her) but if things were different, my crossdressing would be all about meeting & pleasing men.

Not sure what that say psychologically, I'm a mess?

[Ressie]

^ sounds like AGP - autogynephilia. I have similar thoughts, feelings and actions, and I've been with a few men during the last 4 years.

[Alice B]

Mine is long gone. Sort of wish it were back, but age is permenant.

[lostinmyworldcd]

At midlife ..... YES , I still feel it ....... Its like I'm a different person .... Dressed , I have thoughts that never surface in Man Mode .....

[Hazel426]

For me imy CD is more of the sexual side. I love the feel of sexy undies and stockings and a tight dress. I get carried away at the idea of being watched whilst stripping or cummed on.

Not sure if I will ever take the step to dress outside or experiment with a man.

[Queen Bridget]

It depends if I'm in a horny mood when I dress. Mostly just wishing for a guy to show up :daydreaming:.

Also, some of you sound like you may be "aromantic homosexuals/bisexuals". It's where you are only physically interested in the same sex, but not romantically.

[LeotardMan]

Just about EVERY TIME I dress I imminently get aroused and feel sexy.

[hunnybun]

From what I have read in your post, we seem to have identical thoughts

[Gillian Gigs]

In the early days, dressing was very sexual. It could be considered a fetish in my case with dressing being sexual 100% of the time. Over the years it slowly started to change to the point that it is sexual only 5 to 10% of the time now. One part of me wishes that it was not sexual at all any more, and another part of me wishes that the sexual thrill never goes away. The feelings may vary according to the particular item of clothing. After all sexuality is a part of what the human race is, if we totally took sex out of the equation then what's the point!

[missynicole]

I feel the same way dear

- - - Updated - - -

I so agree with Brandi when she says "I want to have sex as a woman again and again, to feel someone inside me is the ultimate feeling as a woman. To please a man is my strongest desire…"
where is he????

[Susan Smokes]

The sexual feelings are still there for me every time I dress. I know there is still a fetish element to it, and for a while I just treated it as a fantasy. It has now become real life for me, and I am enjoying it. For me it is just sex, no matter who it is with.

[SuzyZahn]

I can relate with Brandiaztv a lot, but i don`t feel that i`m a `mess`?? Gosh darn it,,,i just love looking and feeling fem! its relaxing and alluring all at the same time. Never gonna stop!

[Brandi Christine]

The 'mess' is the conflicting feelings between fulfilling my obligations to my family, i.e. being a good husband, and doing what my heart, my feelings, my desires want me to do. My wife loves me, and for better or worse depends on me, both financially & emotionally, but is also very intolerant of the lifestyle that is drawing me to it. Believe me, inside I am a mess, the ironic part is I am at my most relaxed, most content, most happy with me, when I am dressed.