Mentoring?

[KellyGCD]

Have any of you ever wished you had someone who could mentor you through this process? Someone who could help you not only with your fashion advice, but with your confidence and self image.

Or, have you ever thought of mentoring someone younger, showing them the "ropes?" We talk about being supportive of other CDs, wouldn't this be a way of showing support? Just a thought.

[Laura912]

Not too sure how one would do that other than on this forum. Seems it would be necessary to be more publicaly out than many are. I do know that a few here are mentoring some.

[AllieSF]

I was very independent when I started all this. However, in my constant search for like minded people to go out with I accompanied many on their first or second times out into the real world. I didn't tell them how to dress except for "make it simple, not over the top, lower heels and overall comfortable. You can always dress up later when you have less to worry about and have more confidence." I appreciated the opportunity to get out more frequently because I never went out by myself at that time, and I think they felt the same. With my personality they were inevitably going to be meeting and interacting with the general public when out with me, whether with the people at the next table or complete strangers in friendly wine bars. I think that a nearby mentor would be the best for those that want one. That way they could get together more frequently to talk about things, even if for just a couple of hours over coffee or glass of wine (beer is OK too!) in male or female mode. I think that the most important part of all that is to have someone with less fear and a bit more experience then they do to help build up their own confidence.

PS: Lauren, it takes work by contacting those near to you when you find out where they live or are traveling to your hometown or nearby for business or pleasure. And, Yes, I met the majority of those newbies from this site when traveling here and looking for a local partner in crime'sidekick for an evening out.

[Jaylyn]

Seems like I've been mentored every time I read a post. Here is the place to be if one is wanting to gain insight and courage into CD. There are answers to every question about every step in CD if one will read the older posts.

[kimdl93]

certainly this site has served as a mentoring tool. I am quite jealous of younger members because nothing like this was available in my youth. We learned from trial and error, girlfriends or, worst of all, from trans porn.

[Devi SM]

Every time I can I do it.
I actually had initiated two crossdressers, of course they ask for it.

I'd like to coach and help beginners so they don't make the mistakes that I did.
So far I'd being dressing for more than 10 years of winch 2 with the knowledge of my wife and had learned a lot in make up, ddressing and other issues.
Yeah, I'm willing to help others if they request.

[Tracii G]

Thats what happens when you join a support group everyone helps eachother.
You should join one seriously the best thing I ever did.
Sure I have helped lots of people come to grips with themselves. Some I have helped with clothing ideas.

[phili]

I know I'd love having a crowd of crossdressers around to chat with, as we are all mutual mentors anytime we see or are seen.

My superpower is simple sewing alterations to get dresses and lingerie to fit better and creative and dashing clothes design- and I'm happy to mentor anyone on that process!

I can also be a confident coach and detailed cheerleader for anyone who wants to enjoy their femininity and crossdressing without makeup, or even shaving!

[Aunt Kelly]

I wouldn't call it mentoring, which I take to mean a longer-term kind of relationship, but I have had the pleasure of helping others make their first public outing. I have to tell you that it's pretty special. The reveal when the makeover is done. The near-panic eventually melting into joy as they realize the villages and their torches aren't going to show up. It's wonderful to be a part of.
And as Phili says, having that crowd of other TG's around is another joy. That's why I so enjoy our regular (more or less) GNO's. We get to experience social relationships that GG's take for granted, but which are rare for most of us.

[Sometimes Steffi]

The first time I met a CD FtF was a girl I met on this site. We met in girl mode at a trans-friendly gay bar. She introduced me to her TG/CD friends and they showed me the ropes so to speak.

I got vert friendly (get your minds out of the gutter) with a CD I met at Keystone some 7 years ago. She was basically a closet crossdresser who was only out to her wife. My wife won't have any of it, so I'd been out and about alone and with my social group. So, we mentored each other. I invited her to my social group, and she invited me to go to restaurants and malls with her wife, who often became the intermediary between us and the muggles. Now, we both go to the social group and a GG clothing swap, and are comfortable going to straight restaurants.

I've also mentored about half a dozen girls from here by inviting them to my social group, and/or PMs coaching the to shop, buy makeup or get makeovers.

[Teri Ray]

I feel that those on this site have provided me with a ton of metorship. (is that even a word?) Anyhow, thanks to all of you that have helped me along my path you may not have understood how you all have helped me but each has. Read, learn, and relate is what I found on this site. That is not to say I agree with everyone but even those whom I did not agree provided valuable information to me.

I have met with real time mentors and the ability to relate to another with this desire face to face is amazing.

[SometimesDiana]

Many of my drag friends have/had drag moms; someone to take them out and show them the ropes. In contrast, I find that crossdressers often have a very lonely and closeted beginning.

As others have already indicated, many of us are happy to take a newbie under our wing. It would be pretty cool if there was a mentor directory on this forum.

[Teresa]

Kelly,
I do sometimes wonder if the forum could have a professional question and answer section where we could get our individual problems sorted .

I'm not sure if mentoring is necessary or not, If you're in deep DADT situation you know you have to find it all out for yourself , I've found that part of the fun. The learning process for the whole thing from makeup , wig choice and clothes choice does help to develop your own style . If a wife or partner has an input they will often use their own style to guide you , so you may end up wearing the same style of clothes and possibly look like a clone of your wife . OK confession time, I've found that very often the less well dressed members of my social group are accompanied by their wives/partners .

Doing it alone meant in my case biting the bullet and getting out there to ask the questions for myself, getting makeup checks , also building a rapport with SAs without the influence of a wife or partner tagging along , I've had so much fun with SAs which wouldn't have happened with my wife present . I do feel it's built my confidence more this way rather sheltering behind someone else .

I do agree with others a support/social group is great possibly not so much to mentor but to give some meaning to your CDing , you suddenly have a purpose to go and buy something and begin to really think about how you want to look. Of course to chat to those further along the TG road and also meet TSs, it does brings the whole issue into perspective when you hear some of their stories .

[DIANEF]

Before I first ventured out I would have loved to have had someone to 'hold my hand', but it was not to be. However I have found that most members on this forum will be happy to give you advice and encouragement if you need it

[missynicole]

i have yearned for the mentoring and friendship....someone to help, talk and guide......alas..........

[Lacey CD]

In my 20's I used to hang with a wacky group of CD's and TS's in Washington DC. They were all older than me and gave me the confidence I needed to get out there. I learned how to walk, how to talk and most importantly, how to deal with negativity and ridicule. There was strength in numbers and we always had each other's backs. Without that experience and sense of community, I don't know where I would be today.

[Beverley Sims]

I had four room mates all girls and they looked after me.

They always needed a fifth girl to go out with the group.

I was a bodyguard in disguise on occasions.