Being seen by your mother .

[Teresa]

In my long thread titled , " What a week !" I posed the question of finding the right outfit if your mother was going to see you for the first time. ( If you read that thread you will get the full picture so I needn't tell it again ) .

I had it in my mind several outfits but it was hard to decide , she knows about my CDing but has never seen me, so what look do I go for ? In the end I played it safe , my LBD came to the rescue again ,along with some smart black wedges , a neat jacket and not OTT with jewellery or makeup .

I had to consider my age and my mother's so I guess my choice wouldn't be the same as others .

So meeting your mother for the first time in a public place what would you choose to wear ?

[Cheryl T]

That would depend on the place of course.
Were we going shopping and lunch it would be much different that were we going to church, the doctor, etc.

[Teresa]

Cheryl,
Maybe take a look at my other thread to get the whole picture , it's too long a story to repeat it .

[2B Natasha]

Wow! Teresa you really get a workout gather all the information to answer this post!

So. What would I wear? Good question. My mother knows but has never asked to see me. Fair enough. The real wrinkle in that is that she lives right next door to me and we share a common drive way. She also is an avid Gardner and works on her front yard the most. So I am surprised it hasn’t happened yet. I think the first time she sees me I would like here to see me in my favorite maxi skirt red top and silver beaded strap sandals. I think that outfit all out of all my clothes represents me the best. Unless of course it’s the holidays. Then it’s my gold sequined maxi skirt, red top and shoes of some nature. I’m dying to find some red patent flats.

Cheers

[Asew]

(I only wear skirts around others at this point). My mother-in-law first saw me in a purple mesh overlay skirt just above the knee (with one of the male purple t-shirts she bought me). My father-in-law first saw me in my midi jean skirt. I have seen my mom two times since she found out and kept it to shorts (though she did see my painted toenails). There is some anxiety and concern about this for me. I definitely will be selective when I do wear one around her. I think the jean skirt will most be the one I go with. But for me I think it is because it isn't necessarily as feminine as my other skirts so it would ease her from a thought to a visual. I know I will avoid plaid since it seems like she kind of wants to likens my skirts to wearing kilts and I don't want to reinforce that.

[Paula DAngelo]

Teresa,
As others have said it would really depend on the circumstances of the meeting. My mother knows all about me and to be honest I can't remember where the first time was that we were out in public together. To put this in perspective, we've been out together at restaurants, shopping for food and furniture for her, doctors office visits, hospital emergency room visits along with follow up visits to her while she was recovering at the hospital and nursing facilities while she was recuperating, along with any other place that she has needed to go to during her every day life. Thru all of this she has seen me in dresses, a skirt, leggings, shorts, casual and dressy tops, and even (dare I say it) jeans. Honestly, which of the places and what I was wearing the first time, I can't recall, but regardless of which it was, the one thing I do remember is that she always was accepting of me and whatever I was wearing. As a foot note, the only thing I can think of that she hasn't seen me wearing is a swim suit, and it's just a matter of time (and location) until she sees that.

My point is most mothers just want to see their children happy and as long as you are, and not totally over the top or completely inappropriate for the situation you should be fine.

[DaisyLawrence]

My mother died so young I can barely even picture her. I'd be happy to wear a bin bag if it gave me the chance to see her again.

[Teresa]

Paula,
I assume you read my other thread to get the circumstances . I told her only a few weeks ago about my dressing , all she said was she would prefer to know the son she gave birth to , so I knew it might have been a problem . The question is should I have gone to the cinema dressed at all especially as it was also back in my home town ? Was it a selfish act or finally making a stand about my true identity ? So now I'm debating the question of attending my art group dressed , most of them know and seen my pictures .

Daisy ,
That's not such a silly suggestion , some time ago we were at BBQ with music after and one or two of the girls wore some nicely trimmed black bin bags, OK it's not a term I use often but they did look HOT ! So what your mum would have made of you in a bin bag is questionable . It does amaze me that I'm still in a situation where I have to consider my mother at the age of 88 and my dressing , especally when it was also in her work place .

[Cherylgyno]

The first time (s) that my mother saw me dressed I was wearing pantyhose, bra, panties and a bodysuit all of which she had bought. I would be dressed for dinner when Dad worked late. This was age 6 through 18.
Fast forward to the age of 45... Mom stopped over unannounced. I was wearing my LBD and 5" CFM pumps. Only comment was for her to ask my wife how I was able to walk in such high heels. Wife said years of practice.
My wife gave Mom an 8x10 of me wearing that LBD. Mom placed that photo next to a photo of me in uniform.

[Paula DAngelo]

The question is should I have gone to the cinema dressed at all especially as it was also back in my home town ? Was it a selfish act or finally making a stand about my true identity ?

Teresa,
Only you can answer if you should have gone dressed, that's the question that we all have to answer for our self. As to was it a selfish act or making finally making a stand, I would say yes to both of those. To a point you are being selfish, but it's only because you are trying to be true to your self. Is it selfish to want to be happy? Yes it is, but then can you truly be happy if you're constantly hiding part of your self away? Again that's something you have to decide for your self. My mother is basically the same age as yours (she's 87) and she also would have rather that I stayed her son when I told her, but when it came down to her keeping me as her son, or knowing that I was doing what I needed to so that I could be happy and be my true self, it was me being happy that was more important to her. It wasn't an instant decision for her, it was one that came over time and seeing the changes in me. I'm just saying don't write your mother or your self off without giving it some time. Like I said before, most mothers want to see their children be happy.

[SamanthaToday]

I had to look for this article but I found it.

It might help you .

Its from Hannah Mcknight and her first outing with her Mother.

https://hannahmcknight.org/2017/06/11/so-this-happened/

[marika_jaye]

The first time my mom saw me in a skirt, she laughed. I haven't worn anything remotely feminine in her presence since. :(

[SamanthaToday]

Teresa when I first read your post I thought you were going to meet your Mother for first time, then I reread it and now it's sounds like it's in past tense, but I go read the original post and you didn't meet her at all.

So this is a "IF" you were to meet your Mother for the first time.

My answer is what ever I thought I looked my best in.

[Sissy_Michelle]

Teresa,

My mother caught me when I was a teenager. She had came home early from work, walked in on me in her room wearing her bra, panties, stockings, skirt, with blouse. I was seated at her vanity putting on a pair of her heels. When I noticed her she only asked me if I could walk in her heels. I wanted to melt into the floor, but she coaxed me to stand and showed me how to walk in her heels. After a few minutes she sat me down and asked me if I was comfortable in her clothes. I told her that I was, but some of her clothes didn’t fit and were not very comfortable. She then picked out some clothes for me that she said would fit me better. Told me that if I wanted that I could wear them while she was there but not around my brother and sister, and certainly not around my dad.

Those were fun and exciting times. She taught me how to sit, walk, choose the right lingerie to wear with what type of clothes. No one else in my family ever found out. It was our secret and it was wonderful. . .

@—}——
Michelle

[Princess Chantal]

I believe that I did find the right and perfect outfit for my parents’ first time seeing me crossdressed. See these threads for the lead up and the conclusion of the outing to my parents and some family. https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?226192-Family-May-Stumble-Up-On-My-Crossdressing-Fun!&highlight= And https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?227693-Wasn-t-A-Fable-Or-A-Dream-But-It-Started-With-quot-Once-Upon-A-Time-quot-May-12-2015&highlight=

[phili]

For my first time I just picked the one that I felt wonderful in- as I think that not only puts us in the right frame of mind to be seen by anyone-[they will feel how peaceful and happy and radiant we are- and that means a lot], but because I know now that when I am feeling at peace it doesn't matter what others are thinking- they just seem insensitive or small minded or lost in their own world, but it never touches me!

Now mom asks about my sewing and I do a whole 5 change fashion show for her. It was very special- feeling perfectly accepted and approved by my mother.

[Beverley Sims]

Hypothetically thinking here, maybe something conservative, but when she was alive and I was sixteen, I would have worn my best as a teenager I think.

[Teresa]

Samantha,
The problem was I didn't know if she would be at work or not , so it was a 50-50 outcome.

Phili,
My LBD is lovely to wear and like all good LBDs it can be dressed up or down , I do feel good in it and very comfortable , it's a classic style that look good without upsetting anyone .

I also feel the important point about the background to this question is she could have seen me in a very public place and not caught out hiding in a closet , hence my extra thoughts on deciding the right outfit to wear .

[Rogina B]

I also feel the important point about the background to this question is she could have seen me in a very public place and not caught out hiding in a closet , hence my extra thoughts on deciding the right outfit to wear .

My question is why you never went to visit her before[at home]? She is your Mother,after all.

[SamanthaToday]

To add on to Rogina's point.

First I respect and admire you Teresa, and your courage is applauded.

I know you weren't asking for this opinion.

The reason I posted the Blog from Hannah Mcknight was She respected her Mothers wishes in that her Mom didn't want to see Hannah dressed.

It broke Hannah's heart but Hannah respected her Mothers wishes,It was by accident that they met in the same mall.


I don't think you should go to a place where your Mother works or visits and show up as Teresa.

Not until She either knows you are coming or She has seen you in the past, to me its a bit of an ambush.

When that day happens, dress your best, keeping in mind what your Mother would find tasteful.

[Teresa]

Rogina,
Most of that story is in Loved Ones section.

The basic facts are only this year she approached the subject of whose decision was it to separate , I told her it was a mutual agreement , but basically down to my problem, so when she pressed the point I came out to her . She was OK then but two days later she rang to say she wasn't so happy and that I should apologise to my wife , then she added she fuilty and partly resposible . So I told her I would apologise and not to feel guilty because it's no ones fault . She was OK and added that she prefers only to see the son she gave birth to .

If you want the updated part of this story the title is , " What a week !" in this section .

Samantha ,
At some point it now has to happen , I'm so out in my new home and town , the hiding has now stopped . Yes I did dress tasteful , the chances are she may not have recognised me .

[Alice_2014_B]

Yeah, the thought of my Mother seeing me fully dolled up makes my head spin and stomach turn, LOL.

:)

[Vickie_CDTV]

My mother saw me dressed twice, I remember the first time I was wearing a fancy satin floral dress, black hosiery and black 4" heels, makeup and pearls. Later on she saw pictures of me dressed and thought I had good taste (which of course she would think that, I modeled my style after her.)

She was impressed I could wear such high heels.

[Rayleen]

Mom's past, I would never have the courage for dressing to her.
Rayleen

[Connie D50]

I had to look for this article but I found it.

It might help you .

Its from Hannah Mcknight and her first outing with her Mother.

https://hannahmcknight.org/2017/06/11/so-this-happened/

What a great story made me tear up thank you for sharing this.
This is a great post makes your really think, My mom has passed I think I would wear what I think I looked the best in. It would be conservative and stylish.

[SamanthaToday]

I am happy you got something positive from it Connie, I felt the same way you did.

[Alice B]

I have always asked myself, what would my mother say if she knew I was a cross dresser. I have decided that she would have totally acepted and thought nothing of it. My father would have had the opposite reaction and had an hemorage. They both passe before I stated, but I would have loved to discuss this with my mother

[Tina B.]

Never dressed for my Mother. But when I was young, my father caught me dressed once, after his talk, I never let him catch me again, to scary the first time. But when I was in my teens, Mom would let me play with hair relaxers, hated my curly hair, well not really, just felt girly playing with the products. As much as I wore her clothes, she must of had an idea, but never said a word. Just remembered an interesting example of her support. I was somewhere around 10, when J.C. Penny's came out with a line of boys underwear in prints, first time I ever sat boy]s underwear that was colored, much less with prints, I wanted those underpants so bad it hurt, but I tried to be cool when I pointed the out to mom, we where shopping for school clothed, and new underwear was on the list, mom looked skeptical, but bought them for me. When we got home and dad say them, he was not happy about my choice, told mom it more like my sisters underwear, after that I really loved those panties. After all I wasn't the only one that thought they looked like girls panties. Mom told him they where boys, they where under his pants anyway, so what does it matter. So we never talked about it, I think see knew, and had it been a decade or two latter, I think we would have.

[josie_S]

I think my mother's head would explode if she ever saw me. She would combust, and all that would be left is her pocket New Testament and she'd still, somehow, shoot darting looks at me.

I however would be wearing a wrap dress or sundress with cap sleeves and heels. Red nails and lips and a corset cinched very tight ;)

[marshalynn]

I told my mother about me being transgendered about two years ago, she was 91 years old at the time, I was 72 years old. She was sorry I had never told her before, so she could have helped me. Now two years later, I visit her every sat. night dressed full female, I don't think she really understands, just excepts it. She never says anything about how I am dressed, once said the blouse I had on was pretty and one other time the dress I had on did not look good, to much belly. She is 93 now and I love our visits every Saturday night together, just the two of us there, my two brothers live there also, but they go out every Saturday night and I get to make her supper and have a girls night together. I hope to do this far along time. (side note) One sat. a few weeks ago mother was sewing on a bra when I came in by hand. I asked her what she was doing, she said she was extending it. Said why not get a extender, she said , she did not like them. So I sat and watched her cut up bra and sew pieces back in to bra to make it bigger. While this as going on, I noticed a few bras sitting on a table close by, embroidery and lace on them. I was very surprised my mom wore this type of bra, would have bet plain white. I told her so, she said you don't know your mom do you. She said she saw them on a sale rack one day and bought them for 25 cents apiece. Todays cost at least $25.00 each or more, no telling how long ago this was. Asked next Saturday about her fixer upper bra, she threw it away did not feel good, well there went 25 cent down the drain. My mama is the very straight church lady, that thinks dam is a very bad cuss word and no one in the world cusses. I love you MAMA, Marshalynn

[Teresa]

Marshalynn,
Sometimes age becomes insignificant , when you can relate stories like yours , many thanks for telling us it .

[Stephanie47]

If my mother and father had ever caught me wearing my mother's clothing they would have beat the living crap out of me. They were homophobic. In the 1960's men who wore women's clothing were considered to be homosexuals. And, homosexuality was not accepted in society. I know my mother suspected me of wearing her clothes. How else was the strap on her only black bra snapped? Or why was the lingerie draw not as she left it, even though I thought I was skillful enough to leave it as I found it? Or why was her can of hair stray emptying too fast?

Once I was almost caught wearing my mother's sundress. If it was not for the security chain on the apartment door I would have been found by my mother and father. For my youthful transgressions as a boy I earned the welts on my butt and thighs. I hate to speculate what I would have looked like after being caught in a dress.

[Shelly Preston]

I would like to think my mother would like to see me dressed well enough to be happy with my presentation.

I guess some of you here would call it a soccer mom look.

[dana digs sweaters]

Kind of late now to pick an outfit for the way I grew up.
The only boy with 5 sisters.
Different when young compared to an adult, Obviously.

[t-girlxsophie]

My mother knew from early that I was a Crossdresser,to say her reactions were positively Biblical wouldn't be an exaggeration.born again Presbyterians are the worst,that and Catholic guilt from my dad's side meant my dressing was never going to be well recieved.

The thought of my Mother coming across me dressed now would be an unthinkable scenario.It would probably confirm her belief that,if I recall one of her tirades correctly "I am a idiot prancing around in a frock,with a 5 o'clock shadow"

[Teresa]

Sophie,
At least you have a good excuse to wear a tartan skirt ! Does that count with your mum ?

[DaisyLawrence]

My mother knew from early that I was a Crossdresser,to say her reactions were positively Biblical wouldn't be an exaggeration.born again Presbyterians are the worst,that and Catholic guilt from my dad's side meant my dressing was never going to be well recieved.

Sophie, given that family background, why did you let her find out? Talk about 'light blue touch paper and retire to safe distance' :)

[t-girlxsophie]

Teresa

Nice thought,but no go.Although she did say I looked wonderful,when I wore the Kilt at of both my weddings


Sophie, given that family background, why did you let her find out? Talk about 'light blue touch paper and retire to safe distance' :)

I was only a kid,Wasn't wanting to get found out.was just one of those things

Sophie

[grace7777]

Teresa,

A little over a year ago I started living full time as a woman, and am now out to my mother informing her of my name and gender change. I have not seen her in person since I came out to her. Though I have sent her a picture of me as a woman. I am planning to visit her in November after having SRS.

So far she has been very accepting. I have not yet decided what I will when I first see her. I am leaning toward a dress, but no idea which dress it will be.

Grace

[Teresa]

Grace,
I felt my best compromise was my LBD and heeled wedges ( certainly not killer heels ) and not OTT with the makeup . I'm sure the last thing my mum would want was knowing I'd gone from her son to a tart !

I hope it all goes well for you , there's so much going on and so much to think about , I wish you all the best .

[abby054]

I doubt that I can help you. The first time that my Mother saw me crossdressed it was her who dressed me. She selected a brown patterned broomstick skirt and a matching peasant blouse, an outfit that she received from her younger sister. Yes, her sister, age 14 at the time, was in on this. My Mom paraded me around town when doing her shopping. No one said anything. With Mom, they didn't dare. I was nine years old. It was October but still a nice day.

[LIKETODRESS2]

I was caught when I was about 20 she freeked out / Tried to bring it up again she refused to talk about it