Going out,safety in numbers?

[t-girlxsophie]

My friend and I were having an interesting conversation about.not exactly passing but blending in when going out,She seems to think that anymore than 2 cds together is asking to be read.I had to remind her that on the last two occasions me,her and our friend had ventured out into two of the UK's major cities (Glasgow and Manchester) we had not one issue or problem,we felt so comfortable.

And yeah I know not to get over confident and I do get a kinda buzz on my own too,but I honestly don't think being in a small group is a bar to going out.Would love to hear Your thoughts

Sophie xx

[Becky Blue]

I would say that there is no specific number that is a tipping point but clearly the more girls the more likely someone will look twice and notice something.. also larger groups of girls tend to be louder

[AllieSF]

The more there are of us, the easier to be read by the general public. That being said, larger groups can be a lot of fun and are more than worth it every once in a while. Going out alone to known places or with 1-3 others may still get you read but also provides more time to get to know the others or to talk about specific topics. Of course as always, be safe at all times. That does not mean to stay at home or only go out in larger groups. It means making practical decisions about location, venue, parking and walking to and from your car. I personally prefer small groups and just going out by myself to my favorite places.

[Jaymees22]

We used to go out after support group to a Diner, usually at least 3 or 4 of us sometimes more. We would get some looks but nothing too bad.

[Aunt Kelly]

A larger group is more likely to be noticed. A larger group of CDs, doubly so. More sources for those typically unsustainable male markers, like voice, height, build, etc. Once the head turns, the blending has ceased to work. My question is, so what? It is way more fun going out with a group.

Getting ready does not equal danger. If it does, you have probably chosen the wrong venue

[Ceera]

I think that if you go out with other CD/TG ladies who don't pass well, that it does make it more likely others will look at you critically, even when you do pass well yourself. It draws more attention to your group. If one of you is glaringly not passing, it makes people who see the group think actively about cross dressers existing, and they tend to then look for signs of it in others in your group. Such groups should be cautious about not placing themselves in vulnerable positions, like hanging out in areas that might not be safe for any woman, but especially not for women who are actually CD or TG. But in most public settings that would be safe for a cisgender woman, being in a largish group makes it less likely that any of you will be harassed. If you outnumber the potential harassers, they tend to leave you alone, or at worst limit negative interactions to verbal abuses.

On the other hand, a group that all passes well, or a lone CD/TG in a group of cisgender women, is less likely to draw attention, if the cd/tg people are able to pass at all. It seems more likely to me that they will 'get the benefit of the doubt', even if people are uncertain of their birth gender, if they are interacting normally with what seems to be other cisgender people.

That said, I don't avoid going out with groups that I know will include other CD/TG ladies, even when I know they don't pass well. I am confident enough about my own presentation, and comfortable enough just 'being who I am', that I don't tend to get questioned, even in such groups. And I am a sociable person who enjoys company.

[Teresa]

Sophie,
I guess we're back to the question of "Passing" again . How do we achieve it , what differece does it make as an individual or in a group ?

From my own experience , going alone gives you a better chance to integrate and blend in , only your choice of clothes and appearance dictate what others think . We often get together as a small group and visit a shopping village , in those circumstances any chance of passing is dictated by the worse dressed member of that group. Even if you have attempted to blend in if someone has 4" heels on or a skirt or dress that is too short then the game is up . Once the attention has been drawn the whole group will be read , also our conversations can be heard so our voices give us away anyway .

Going solo is getting so comfortable now , dare I say almost normal , there are very few barriers anymore , most people just pass you by , if you don't go looking for a reaction you don't often receive one .

[DaisyLawrence]

Hi Sophie.

It is all about averages. An group of crossdressers that can pass perfectly on their own will be larger, taller, more broad shouldered, and have more masculine features, than the average group of genetic women. Individually they may pass but in a group they are read instantly. The larger the group the more the average differs to the GG norm. Simple as that.

Daisy

[Helen_Highwater]

Sophie,

The question is, "Going out, safety in numbers" , which differs as others have said from being noticed.

Two to three, dressed to blend CD's in a busy place can if blessed with smaller frames stand out no more than a singleton. Even if noticed I would suggest that they're no more likely to encounter any hostility than someone on their own. If one or more of the group are six foot or above in flats and built then that in itself could deter any would be antagonist.

The only time I've been out with a group in the street was in the Gay Village in Manchester while walking from one venue to another which is about as safe as it gets.

As someone who normally shops alone I know I don't pass but I feel I do a good job of blending. Having socialised with folks who are blessed with more petit frames and femme features I have pondered whether or not I'd feel comfortable goung out in muggle land with them as I'd perhaps be conscious of drawing attention to them through me. I must admit though going out shopping in the company of one or more wingwomen is something that I would like to do. I feel the shared experience would add to the day. After all, isn't that what GG's do?

[Teresa]

Helen,
You are right we missed the basic question of safety in numbers, I haven't been in a difficult situation single or in a group so I can't truthfully answer the question . It has been discussed many times before about keeping safe when dressed , most of us have the common sense to realise where to venture or not .

Shopping with others is mixed blessings, if you haven't the confidence then maybe you don't have a choice . I like the time to browse now so prefer it alone , the other person is either looking over your shoulder all the time or gone to find their own items , the problem is you spend some of your time trying to keep tabs on each other . Again the other issue is how well you interact with the SAs , I love it, so again I prefer a one to one ( would I have tried on that swimsuit otherwise ? I doubt it .)

As you say do what GGs do , go off and shop then meet up for coffee and have some fun showing each other what you've bought .

[Stephanie47]

Just in the context of viewing women in public it does seem a group does attract more attention than a duo or trio. Perhaps it is because a larger group tends to block the aisles and sidewalks more than two or three. Throw in body type and surely a group of women from our local colleges' basketball teams do get a second and third look. From inside the group I'd think the ladies would not be as self conscious of who they are. Perhaps some preoccupation with conversation.

[Jenny22]

I would think that "safety in numbers" would only be needed if you were to be in an area where there might possibly be some threat to a CDer who was alone. Other then that, remember the adage, "two's company; three's a crowd," if you are wanting to blend.

[Nikki A.]

Why care about being read in a or as a group?
I've been out to breakfast with 5 or 6 friends (tg, post op and CD) and we never had an issue. You are doing nothing wrong and as long as you are not in a very bad neighborhood what is the problem. I've also been out alone and with a GG friend or friends.
True, being with a GG might help you get the benefit of the doubt. But on the other hand if you end up in a confrontation the CDs and TGs might be a little bigger and stronger LOL.

[Sissy_in_pink]

If one guy or a small group of guys has a problem with it than are they going to take on a large group of guys dressed as girls, I think not or he or they have a death wish.

[docrobbysherry]

Sophie, I think u and your friend r confusing "being read", with, "being noticed". There r many here that like to dress to blend and not be noticed when out. However, since to me the whole point of dressing is to look good, sexy, and stylish, I don't dress to blend. And, since I can't pass on a moonless nite in a black out, I get noticed AND read whenever I'm out!:doh:
I find the chuckles, rude comments, and fish eyes stressful and unenjoyable.:o

However, when I'm out with other T's, we r definitely noticed and read and I don't care! I don't get stressed and have lots of fun. And, if there's any chuckles, comments, or fisheyes? Either I don't notice, don't care, or because some of our T's r physically imposing, there just isn't any!:devil:

[Micki_Finn]

Not being read and not being harassed are two entirely different things. But yes I’m general there is safety in groups. Which is why women generally drag friends along with them when they go certain places.

[Beverley Sims]

There is certainly safety in numbers, I used to go out with a group of girls, I looked the part then and was never busted, hit on, lots of times. :-)

[t-girlxsophie]

Thanks for the replies.The first thing we learned from way back is to recognise the safe places to go,I brlieve the experience ive garnered helps in that respect.

Whether on my own or with my friends I believe we dress appropriately for any situation.And it is for sure far more fun being with the girls,ive even been out with GGs too.fun x10

One things for certain I certainly wouldn't let anyone's reactions put me off from living the Sophie part of my life to the max

Sophie xx