Crossdressing And Looking For a Relationship

[Piora]

I'm 66, single, and not in a relationship. It's certainly not from lack of trying. But I have noticed that when on dating sites, and seeing some possibilities - even communicating with potentials....I find myself getting cold feet, and backing away. And it's my belief that it's primarily due to the fact that I crossdress. I think about how being in a relationship would affect that part of my life. Because believe me, it's not something I will ever give up. I would neither want to - nor, I think, even be able to. I'm sure there are many of us who have certainly tried, myself included.

The last relationship I was in, the lady never knew about my dressing. She strongly suspected "something", as I shave my legs, which she thought was strange. I gave the excuse that I simply disliked hairy legs (which I do, anyway) My original marriage was also a situation where I felt telling my wife at the time about my crossdressing would be a disaster. So I never did.

So, it's something that I worry about. And it's not like I have a lot of opportunity to meet women. My biggest concern would be finding someone, and telling her about my crossdressing, only to have her reject me....and worse, tell people I know in retaliation or spite. I still work full time, and it would be a disaster for me if any of my associates at work ever found out. Or anyone in my personal life. The only person that knows about my dressing is my daughter. She's accepting and supportive, but has never seen me dressed and doesn't want to. I'm of course closeted and never go out.

Having been single for 10 years, I have been able to indulge in my dressing any time I want to. And working full time also allows me to buy my female clothing and not have to hide it or worry about anyone finding it. I enjoy this freedom.

So I find it a bit of a conundrum. I know that I will receive replies saying that I should go for it, and worry about whether to divulge my secret at a later date. But would that be fair to someone with whom I have entered into a relationship? If I tell her too soon, then I risk retaliation in the form of being outed, and if I would tell her too late, when a strong relationship has been formed, then that is not fair to her if crossdressing is something she could never accept.

I have read positive stories from those of us on here, who have told their wives/partners and had good results. But occasionally I will read about those who have had the opposite. I really don't want to find myself experiencing the latter.

As a result, I find myself wanting a relationship, yet finding excuses not to enter into one. As it stands, I have met quite a few women over the last few years, all of whom were either not suitable, or they felt I was not the right person for them.

So, this is something that I would direct to those of us on here NOT in a relationship at present, perhaps looking for one, and maybe have had similar experiences. How do you deal with this? Anyway, thanks for reading....I really just needed to vent a little.

[Sashauk]

I know how you feel Piora. I too am in my late sixties and live alone - my marriage ended over 30 years ago and I've not been in a relationship since. I think the reason for that is much the same as you in that I'm afraid that if I were to come out to any partner they would not understand or accept my dressing.

I have often thought about joining a dating site but in the end I decide that I don't want to go through all the stress of a new relationship only for it to fail because I can't give up the part of me that needs to crossdress.

I wish I could say to you that it will be OK and that any potential partner will be supportive of your lifestyle, but from my experience it is more likely they won't. Unfortunately this is something you have to work out for yourself as only you know what's more important - crossdressing or a relationship.

Good luck and I hope you will be able to resolve your conundrum.

[Sissy_in_pink]

Yep I know all about that, I have been divorced 7 years now, but have been a crossdresser for most of my adult life, my wife eventually found out and hated it. I joined a dating site and have dated 8 women 7 of which I met on the dating site, only 1 lady I ever told about my crossdressing and she was cool with it at first, but then deciced she didn't like it after a few weeks, so that was the end of that.
I'm not in the closet so I do meet a few ladies when I buy clothes whilst dressed and have decided to chat up any that seem friendly enough. If I get a date they can't say I didn't tell them as they knew before I asked. It has worked once so far, but the lady I'm seeing now is not interested in a romantic relationship and may never be with me due to my crossdressing, but atleast I have a companion to go out with. We are now going to China together.
If you get served by ladies around your own age group when you are buying female clothes let them know that the item is for you and if they seem cool about it chat them up, check their ring finger, find out if they are married or in a relationship and if not ask them out for coffee or a drink, you just never know your luck.

[Piora]

Thank you Sashauk and Sissy for your replies. Sissy, unfortunately, I am heavily closeted and I don't shop at brick and mortar stores. Online only. But I do appreciate the feedback.

[Alice B]

Not teelling leads to bad results. In meeting and teling to possible new SO I think once it seems as if the possibility of a relationship is there you must tell. You are dealing with more mature possibilities and if you fins one that is accepting you are well on the way to a strong relationship

[phili]

I'll argue for hope, and an objective understanding of the difficulty.

I am not currently looking, but I told all my girlfriends I wished to wear feminine clothes as soon as we started getting intimate. I had to work to explain it, but eventually most felt it was something that they could understand enough to tolerate it- as a man trying to feel something about what it means to be feminine, to be allowed to feel more.

In practice it was underdressing, and nightgowns, which was enough to seriously challenge them, but not a public thing, so it could be handled as a private accommodation. And it was more or less enough to satisfy my needs as best I understood them at the time.

Some women are actually more interested in a tender and equal relationship than in having a handsome mechanic to keep handy and to fulfill their objectification fantasies about men. It is a given that is the kind of women we need to find for relationship.

That said, it is not a small loss for most women to not have a manto revolve around and see themselves valued by. So out of those who are interested in finding a sensitive man, I have found nearly all to not want that to include what they see as being mixed up about my gender. There were more masculine women who didn't want masculine men, or women who were feminine but didn't feel possessive about it, and could freely share, but it was a very small number in my experience who could accommodate it without it feeling like a loss.

Today the #meToo movement and wider focus on the overall problems with gender roles has made it more thinkable for more women. I believe my level of emotional investment in dressing just ends up feeling to others more like a need for personal growth displaced by or captured by a fetishistic connection to clothing. Women clearly understand the role of clothing, but my impression is that more of them see their clothing as social identification as females, rather than a gateway to privilege. Hence if I want to feel more deeply, fine, but why wear women's clothes?


The answer I understand today is that I am a classic transfeminine person- subcategory genderfluid, and genderqueer. I actually don't think the explanation matters much to a partner, except to help keep it from just seeming like a sexual fetish or a type of arrested development. They just want to know if they can actually feel comfy with their man looking a lot like a woman.

As a result, I would tell someone as soon as there was the option for a romantic relationship, but I would also show, not tell, and just say, this is me. If the other person feels there is enough there to take another step closer, they will. If they don't, the earlier you know the better for both of you!

[DaisyLawrence]

Phili.

Great reply. I asked my wife about your thoughts and she said that most women actually want a bit of both, i.e. a sensitive man that can be the 'handsome mechanic to keep handy' when needed. I try to be both only my sensitive man is nearer a sensitive woman but she much prefers it that way so all is good. The world is littered with divorces where the woman thought she wanted a hunk and then realised that a bit of sensitivity might have been a better choice. I also asked my wife why she and all her friends seem to love effeminate gay men in real life and on TV. She said it is because they do not seem to be a threat like a typical alpha male (that essentially only talks to them because he wants to undress them) and they seem more approachable, like 'one of the girls'. She agreed that all her older and wiser friends would definitely be attracted to an 'effiminate gay man' that wasn't actually gay, especially the divorced ones that had 'had their fill' of macho men for one lifetime and don't need anymore testosterone in their lives. So it seems if you are an effeminate, sensitive, hetero male that can be 'all man' when needed and you are having trouble finding an understanding partner, don't give up because by the time you are older enough to be dating divorcees they will be queuing up to go out with a man like you. Smilie faces all round I think :) :)

Daisy

[Rayleen]

I found that being a sensitive man helped to acceptance from my partner. Honesty and communication goes a long way in a relationship.

Rayleen

[kimdl93]

I find that at this point in my life, age 65, i have the desire for a relationship, the experiece of two, long but ultimately disolved marriages, and a reluctance to fail again. Besides that, i would now hope for more than a patronizing or sympathetic partner. I dont want to be the source of someone else’s repressed discomfort. Makes it hard to see much likelihood of a future relationship.

So, through the skewed lens of my own experience, I guess I would tend to look at the future with a degree of pessimism with regard to establishing any future relationship

[Di]

As a GG I agree with telling someone as soon as there was the option for a romantic relationship.
And think doing it this way you know right off if you will be compatible.
Why bother being in a relationship where you can not be yourself? What’s the point?
Working out what you both need in the relationship YES but having to not being able to be yourself why Bother?
I think it’s very possible don’t give up.

[AlissaMurray]

I am 53. Just getting yet another divorce. Should be final July 18. Already have a new girl (20 years younger) who is aware of Alissa. Not only aware but helped with make up and some pictures. Someone above said their wife said a lot of women want a man who is a little of both. I have to agree with that statement, being girly at times is tolerable if you still be a man when you need to be as most here on this site do. I love my silky girly clothes, bras, panties, spandex blah blah blah. But I also sport a goatee shadow much of the time which my girl likes. Not a actual beard, just a shadow. If we decide to have a play date I shave clean and she is OK with that too because she knows it grows back quick. I wear the normal fem-ware when I am around the house doing dishes, cleaning or even relaxing. But I also live in Redneckville and can put on a t-shirt and jeans, go out and in a couple hours have the transmission out of my truck to change the flywheel. (Recently did that)
I have been lucky that the lady's in my life really didn't care much about my crossdressing. I've always stressed about it more than they have. Crossdressing has not been the basis for any of my divorces and I have had a few. Honestly, it would take little effort on my part to get back with any of my ex wives.
I think first or maybe second date you let her know how you are. If she flips, Have a Nice Life! Move on to the next, no biggie. I think you'll find it isn't hard to find a woman who really isn't going to care. At least that is how it has been for me. I think I may have lost one woman over my crossdressing, but I also lost my best friend at the time too so they can both take a leap!
Nothing Risked, Nothing Gained..... know what I mean??? Put yourself out there, what do you have to lose? Seriously?? Good Luck

[Aunt Kelly]

My biggest concern would be finding someone, and telling her about my crossdressing, only to have her reject me....and worse, tell people I know in retaliation or spite.

So instead, you are considering deception, with the ever-present risk of your partner discovering it later on, perhaps after years. The content of this site is littered with descriptions of the outcome of that approach.

This is who you are. It is not going away, no matter how much you try to convince yourself it can. Stop hating yourself and look for a partner who will love you for who you are.

[Piora]

So instead, you are considering deception, with the ever-present risk of your partner discovering it later on, perhaps after years. The content of this sight is littered with descriptions of the outcome of that approach.

Perhaps you are not closeted. I don't know whether you are or aren't. If you are not....then you have no clue about what it's like to BE closeted, and how your life could be completely destroyed by being outed. I would not be able to deal with that. Some people would take it in stride....others would not. It would be the end for me. While there are tolerant and understanding people out there, there are also mean-spirited and vindictive, evil people, who would take great joy in trashing you all over social media and by any other means that they could. So no.....I am NOT "considering deception". Instead, I err on the side of caution, and back away. Caught between a rock and a hard place.


This is who you are. It is not going away, no matter how much you try to convince yourself it can.

After reading this, I wonder if you actually read my post. How am I "trying to convince myself it can"? Since, in particular, when I said, and I quote, "Because believe me, it's not something I will ever give up. I would neither want to - nor, I think, even be able to." I've been crossdressing for a very long time. Don't you think I already know this?


Stop hating yourself and look for a partner who will love you for who you are.

"Hating myself"? Really? Where in the world do you get that from? I don't hate myself! I accept who I am. And I have always done so.

[Sherri_Christopher]

I liked what AlissaMurray had to say. By the second or third date, if it looks like it's leading to a steady relationship, be honest to her and let her know that you crossdress, Piora. My wife died last year, making me single again, so I'm facing the same situation as you and will follow mine and AlissaMurray's advice.

[Ressie]

Probably the best thing to do is to leave the closet and go out en femme. This way you'll eventually meet someone that knows you crossdress and probably finds it attractive. In a perfect world (without fear) this would be perfect.

That said, I'm also in the closet to everyone that knows me as a male. I've pretty much always come clean with women that I've become romantically involved with right from the start. Some of those relationships lasted many years but they all ended - partially for different reasons.

So, I'm on the fence when it comes to getting into another relationship. I'm very picky and probably fantasize too much about true love. My marriage from 15 years ago turned out terrible in many ways and I don't wanna have that happen again.

[sometimes_miss]

This is edited, after thinking about it for a bit longer. I don't understand why there is the great need to tell a woman about our crossdressing early in the relationship; simply because it may very well doom you to a life of short or no relationships at all. Women don't decide in a few dates if they want to marry you. You shouldn't be forced to decide in a short period of time if you want them, either. This whole idea that we are being so unfair to women by not telling them about our crossdressing is a bit of BS. After all, they don't tell us everything about themselves in the first few dates, either. I didn't find out that my ex wife had a history of severe depression or that she was passive aggressive until after we were married, but she felt that there was no reason to tell me that. Women reserve the right for deception, for themselves. But they want US to be completely honest with them.



So I find it a bit of a conundrum. I know that I will receive replies saying that I should go for it, and worry about whether to divulge my secret at a later date. But would that be fair to someone with whom I have entered into a relationship? If I tell her too soon, then I risk retaliation in the form of being outed, and if I would tell her too late, when a strong relationship has been formed, then that is not fair to her if crossdressing is something she could never accept.
I resolve this problem by knowing that it is her close mindedness about sexuality that sealed her fate as far as what she deserves when dealing with relationships. After all, she is actually just devaluing herself and all women by thinking being feminine is less of value than being masculine anyway. So by her very own definition of that, she doesn't deserve any consideration as far as feelings go anyway.
I date. I don't tell them about my crossdressing. I meet interesting women, and go out and have a good time. Sometimes sex is involved, sometimes not.
Over time, as the relationship advances, I carefully investigate how she feels about gender, sexuality, sexual preference, and gender bending. I add in crossdressing and TS media into our entertainment and see how she reacts. I bring up news that includes topics with CD, TG and TS people in it. At some point, there will be discussion about how she would react if her ex, parent, child, or sibling were any of the above. Caitlin Jenner comes up in conversation eventually, and it seems all woman have an interesting opinion on her, and have no qualms about voicing it. When it becomes negative in any way, I ask why she has trouble with it, when the whole Jenner clan seems to be just fine with it all. And that's when I find out just where I stand. Because CD, TG and TS can sometimes be tolerated and even accepted in almost any relationship, except in a mate.

So eventually I get to figure out whether I have a remote chance in hell of her accepting my crossdressing. In the last 20 years, unfortunately, that answer has always been no.
I have to live with that. I understand that I most likely will not have another long term romantic relationship.
As I accepted that basically it was SHE who was rejecting ME, it became easier and easier to reject her and simply letting the relationship die, either quickly or slowly. I usually simply just made myself appear to be be someone that she did not want to date any longer, and there are all kinds of ways to do that. This way she broke up with me, and simply didn't suffer the bad feelings of being rejected, so I avoid having women being angry with me; they just feel disappointed that I wasn't exactly what they were looking for.
I've been accused of being a commitment-phobe often, often the woman will ask me why I didn't tell her in the beginning that I didn't want to get married again. I simply respond that I do, I just don't want to marry her, and I have every right to wait until I find my ideal woman as she does to wait until she finds her ideal man. That last argument usually stops them dead in their tracks for a few moments if not completely. If they push me and insist on knowing why she isn't my ideal woman, then I have no choice but to tell her what they all fear; that I was actually looking for someone younger because I still wanted to have kids of my own. Few women can argue with someone who wants kids of their own, because virtually every single one of them has had that very strong desire themselves.
So while they may feel that at 61 I'm being a bit overly optimistic at looking for a woman young enough to bear me children, even foolish, they won't think that I'm being mean to them intentionally, but more that I'm still hoping for something which is just very unlikely to happen. So far, none of the women have ever been angry with me (as far as I know) after using these tactics.



She agreed that all her older and wiser friends would definitely be attracted to an 'effiminate gay man' that wasn't actually gay,
Sensitive and slightly effeminate like so many actual gay men, yes; actually wearing all female underwear & attire, and regularly wearing dresses and wanting to appear, sound like, move like, and behave like women, NO.

As a GG I agree with telling someone as soon as there was the option for a romantic relationship.
No doubt. Unfortunately, this behavior will wind up with the poor crossdresser having NO physical relationships at all, most of the time, because there's simply no way to identify women who: 1. might be willing to accept us, and 2. can actually keep our secret. It's been my experience that most women have a need to discuss anything stressful with a friend or female relative, and of course, swear that friend to secrecy just as that friend will swear the next to secrecy until we have the Flex shampoo example of one who tells two friends that also tell two friends, ad infinitum. Then we're 'out' whether we want to be or not. I work with nurses, and have been watching this mechanism in action now for over 40 years.
We need affection, too (not sex, that's different), and living without it is a punishment very few of us deserve. After all, most relationships wind up being short anyway, but at least for the time being, we get to enjoy each other. Your suggestion sentences most of us to a lifetime of physical isolation, and, of course, being outed and having to live that way. I've lived the life of an outcast that most want nothing to do with, and it isn't pretty at all (first 20 years of my life I had a rather disgusting birthmark on my face, which most people would simply prefer to avoid. As a child, I had no friends because of this, so I know from where I speak about being isolated).

And think doing it this way you know right off if you will be compatible.
SHE will know right away if He will be compatible. Outing ourselves by telling up front tells the man nothing about the woman. And most women reserve the right of deception, for themselves, while insisting on complete honesty from others.

Working out what you both need in the relationship YES but having to not being able to be yourself why Bother?
Because it allows us at least some kind of relationship, while we wait to find that elusive crossdresser loving women who is about as commonly found as a winning lottery ticket. It's unreasonable for us to have to wait for something which is likely never coming.

I think it’s very possible don’t give up.
Possible vs probable are two very different things.


I think you'll find it isn't hard to find a woman who really isn't going to care. At least that is how it has been for me. I think I may have lost one woman over my crossdressing.
You're another who seems to believe that there are plenty of crossdressing friendly women out there. Well, again the challenge goes up: Start a crossdresser - Straight girl dating service. You'll be swamped with customers. In fact, if such a service were actually viable, someone would have done it by now. But zero crossdresser- straight girl bars, dating services, web sites, etc., exist. There is ONE crossdresser dating site on the net, and it's filled with men and shills for the site to entice men to pay the membership. Once paid, and you try to respond, all you get is silence or responses telling you that they're already involved with someone or never contacted you.

Nothing Risked, Nothing Gained..... know what I mean??? Put yourself out there, what do you have to lose? Seriously?? Good Luck
We have our life to lose. Once outed, it comes with all sorts of potential complications which most wish to ignore. You can lose your job (they will find another reason to let you go). You can lose your apartment (same, they will create another reason to get rid of you). You can lose your friends, your family, your co-workers.
Not to mention, all the things that may be done behind your back to make your life miserable and you won't even know why things are starting to go wrong all over.

[Aunt Kelly]

Perhaps you are not closeted. I don't know whether you are or aren't. If you are not....then you have no clue about what it's like to BE closeted,
I most certainly do know what it's like. The only people who know that I am TG are my TG friends and my wife, but my wife has known about this part of me from the time our relationship became serious.

I am not advocating for coming out to everyone you know. If you want to fine, but there are valid, practical reasons for not doing so, career being a big one. Not sharing it with a spouse or significant other is something else entirely. You know you can't change. Choosing to enter into an intimate and long-term relationship while trying to keep that secret is a recipe for disaster. You must know that from your years here.

So why even consider it? Could it be because you don't quite believe that you have a shot at a loving, long-term relationship because of who you are? That is what you are describing and that is the definition of self hatred. All I am saying is to acknowledge that you absolutely are entitled to that. We both know that the odds are long against it, but that is no reason to sell yourself short, Piora. It just isn't. Love yourself enough to realize that and you might be surprised to see how understanding the right partner will be. By the time you get to that point in a developing relationship where such sharing is appropriate, you should have a good idea of how safe your secret is. Again, taking that time to really get to know your partner is something you do for you. That's just another part of real and lasting relationship that you deserve.

[RADER]

My first wife was very much against my dressing. A bitter divorce left me single for over 15 years.
I met my wife on a blind date, I thought she seemed real nice. On our 2 ND date, I mentioned that
I wish I had a dress that was on a TV screen, that she had on when I came to pick her up.
Later she asked why I would want a dress like that, and I said it seemed real pretty, and wish I could
try it on. about 3 weeks later, at a BBQ at my house, we where chased inside due to a rain storm.'
She asked me if I had any dresses, I said only a few skirts and tops.
GO and put one on, she asked, I did and she was OK with it.
We where married about 6 months later for over 19 years until the angles came.
I will never find some like her again.
Rader

[alwayshave]

Piora, I recently got married to someone who accepts my dressing, I'm 57 so close enough to your age. We had been together for about 8 months when were going to move in. I knew then I had to tell her, so I wrote her an email, explaining that I was a life long crossdresser and that it was not going to change. If she wanted to get out now was the time. She read up on crossdressing and then decided it was not a big deal. Now, she has a B.A. in psychology in M.S. in organizational psychology, so her ability to read and accept information about people may be higher than your average person. But from her reading she knew that most crossdressers are not gay and all the other fears women have. She knew she was not going to change me. So, it is possible to find someone and have them accept you for who you are.

[Jenny22]

You are from Canada, the second largest country in the world!. But you need to show a more exact location in your profile, if you want to personally connect with others who might be interested in a relationship with such a nice CDer.. Once its in your profile, any post or reply to a post will ALWAYS show your 'new' location. Better yet, show your city or general area. Also, watch posts and replies from CDs that have shown your area in their profiles, and you can PM them. One or more may know of a FAB that might be interested in meeting you. Good Luck, Jamie!

[Micki_Finn]

Dating sites are the perfect opportunity! You can let potential matches know up front about your crossdressing and never have to deal with face to face rejection! As for finding “the one”, well that’s never easy for anyone and it’s not just gonna fall into your lap.

[Jenny22]

Piora, let me add a thought.. If you are willing to and can travel easily to a nearby town or city where you are not known, keep in mind that you may 'score' there. Address your efforts to ladies your own age (divorcees, spinsters, widows) who know that THEY will have similar challenges as you due to their age, and may be looking for a gentle soul to share the rest of their limited lives with.

[Glenda58]

I was in the same place years ago. I just started going out till I met someone I like. Then after a few months and seeing that the relationship was going somewhere did I tell them. One said OK but didn't want to do anything with it with me but would buy me things. But she moved away to another state. And the last one married me but doesn't want to see me dressed. But you must tell them before you go to far in the relationship and make sure they know you want to dress in the open with them around Which I did not do.

[Beverley Sims]

The decision is....
Do you need to sacrifice your independence?

[Alice Torn]

Piora, I can relate to your situation, though i have never been married. Still single at 64 now. Every woman i told about my dressing was not pleased at all. Older women seem less tolerant of it. I am about accepting, that i will never date again. I have been on the dating ads for decades, and did have some nice dates, but no relationships . I don't know if i can handle the stress of dating and relationships anymore, since i have had so much family of origin stress, and past relationship heartbreak. I have pets. They do not cause as much mega stress, unless they are sick or dying. I wish i could quit dressing. have tried many times, and gone months without, but it was a stresser, too, at times, but i must say, sometimes it was pleasant, not having to dress, and dressing can also bring on stress, from guilt and shame, and having to go from lady mode, back to guy mode, and not acting fem in guy mode. Sometimes, there is a carry over. One day at a time. The stress from a relationship may not be worth it anymore. But, that being said, a lady friend just friends, is ok. But, it is hard to find a lady that is at all like minded today. Another problem i have, is that i find "Alice", me, far more attractive physically, when i am all dolled up, than the vast majority of GG"s near my age!! None have legs better than mine!

[Sashauk]

Alice, I can relate to your situation too. Whilst I was actually married for a time that ended over thirty years ago and I have not had a relationship since. I too tried the dating sites but nothing ever came of it - it seems that women naturally assume if you are on a dating site you are married and looking for an affair. I'm now approaching 68 and like you I don't think I will ever date again.

I do have a very good female friend (30 years younger than me) that I meet fairly regularly but it is no more than just good friends. She does not know about about my femme life (although she often says I am in touch with my feminine side more than most men) and I have no idea how she would take it if she ever found out. Also none of my family know either so the act of juggling both sides of me can be stressful at times.

[Donna St. Marten]

I have already decided if I were to lose my wife, I would seek the companionship of another crossdresser. The odds of finding another woman at my age who would be supportive of my desire to dress would be remote if not impossible. Why would I want to subject myself to all the angst and heartache of seeking approval for who I am? I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life alone, and I figure sex is sex no matter whom you have it with.

[KarenSusan]

I am 72 and never been married. I tell people that I never met the right girl but, in reality, I never wanted to tell someone I crossdressed or having her later find out that I had not been honest. A coward perhaps.

[Cherylgyno]

Piora the adage, Honesty is the best policy comes to mind.
If you fill out the profile on a dating site put in there that you are a heterosexual cross dresser. If I get the computer dating thing, if you don't meet she doesn't get any of your information. Of course fill out the rest of your interests etc.
I met my wife long before this computer dating stuff happened. God forbid if something were to happen to my wife and I wanted to date again. Honesty on a computer dating site would be the way I would go.

[Trione]

At my age I have outlived two great woman, if I could find another CD that's were I would get involved. If you are not honest up front it will come back on you with less then desirable results.

[sometimes_miss]

Now, she has a B.A. in psychology in M.S. in organizational psychology, so her ability to read and accept information about people may be higher than your average person.
Gee, do you think? ^this is what we are facing. Women who are that intelligent and are able to understand and accept all the psycholigical dynamics of our behavior, also almost always have much better options in mates than to date crossdressers.

Dating sites are the perfect opportunity! You can let potential matches know up front about your crossdressing and never have to deal with face to face rejection! As for finding “the one”, well that’s never easy for anyone and it’s not just gonna fall into your lap.
&

Piora the adage, Honesty is the best policy comes to mind. If you fill out the profile on a dating site put in there that you are a heterosexual cross dresser. If I get the computer dating thing, if you don't meet she doesn't get any of your information. Of course fill out the rest of your interests etc.. I met my wife long before this computer dating stuff happened. God forbid if something were to happen to my wife and I wanted to date again. Honesty on a computer dating site would be the way I would go.
I've been on the major dating sites since 1998. All I usually get are prostitutes and the like, and men responding to my ads that state up front that I'm a crossdresser. In 1999, I put up two identical ads on America Online's dating site. They, at the time, had over 20 million members. The 'plain' ad which DID NOT mention my crossdressing got plenty of hits every day. The ad (otherwise identical) that mentioned I'm a crossdresser? A few. Some prostitutes, a few guys, one woman from England (I'm in the U.S.). Over the years, on plentyoffish, alt, OKcupid, match, and a few others, virtually zero interest from non sex-professional women in any ad that mentions crossdressing. Oh, I did have a couple of women over the years tell me that they were fine with it, but eventually they finally told me that they just assumed that I would give it up, as they didn't really like it. And that's been the story all along. Seems that I'm a great catch; until you figure in the crossdressing.

I have already decided if I were to lose my wife, I would seek the companionship of another crossdresser.
Gee, that's just great if you're bisexual. What about the straight guys?

Still anxiously awaiting all of you who supposedly know lots of crossdresser accepting women to start that date a crossdresser dating website with all those GG's on it. Been waiting a long time. So I suppose it's all just a lot of hot air, you don't want to get rich, or you just hate the rest of us and like to tease us about how YOU found a crossdresser enthusiast GG, and will keep the rest for yourself too, for when you get tired of her.