HRT in the closet

[Ariana225]

I know this has probably been a hot topic in a lot of threads and has been hashed out many times. But I am interested in ONLY the girls that went through HRT for at least 1+ years before officially coming out to the world.

How hard was it to hide from you the ones that didn’t know? Did you keep facial hair to try to disguise the other changing things that come with HRT? What were your positive and negative experiences?

I need to do something positive towards and arrive closer to my transition. But me and the wife worry about how easy it would be noticeable on HRT in the long term game.

[Ashley in Virginia]

I started hrt in Feb of '16 and came out in Feb of '17. For me I had no issues hiding it. People asked about why my hair was growing out and why I was having laser to remove facial hair, but no one noticed the physical changes from hormones. My original plan was to go even longer before coming out, but I couldn't take living a lie anymore.

Everyone is different though, what happened for me may not be your reality. It's just a chance you will have to take if you start.

[LeaP]

I was at least 2 years on HRT before coming out to anyone other than my wife. My development was modest enough to conceal with compression tees under dress shirts at work. I can’t say no-one noticed, as I would see stares at times, but I was never questioned. I never grew facial hair and never wanted to (yecchhh). I did weekly electrolysis sessions during lunch breaks and returned to work. Despite the (to me) very obvious redness and some swelling, again, I was never questioned. For me the experience was almost 100% positive. About the only negatives I can think of relate to having to be careful about not bordering on obscene in casual wear or when swimming. A Hawaii trip was interesting in the last regard, but a tank top, towel, and a little care slipping into and out of the water took care of things. I had a couple of hostile looks, but these were rare and brief.

[Ariana225]

Thanks Ashley and Lea!

Ashley, what did you say to the questions on growing your hair out, laser removal, etc.? I would probably just say “mid life crisis” until I was ready to come out fully.

Lea, I’m glad I don’t have to worry about swimming. Everyone in my life knows that, I know how to swim, but I don’t like to swim because of my phobia of bacteria in water since I got certified as a pool operator and took all the classes that explained what was actually in the water going into your body. I know it’s not realistic, but I avoid it lol

What kind of compression under shirts did you use? If they grow too much I might have to get a binder as uncomfortable as that sounds.

[LeaP]

Most of my tanks are UnderArmour Heat Gear, which are readily available at their outlets, if you have one nearby. I use their “fitted” fit, which provides light compression with me. You may or may not have to go down a size. They also sell true compression tees, which I also have, but I just find them too constricting and uncomfortable. In any event, the result with the fitted tanks is shaping and flattening, rather than squashing which, combined with a reasonably loose shirt over, works just fine.

[Devi SM]

Ariana, you know I'm just in HRT but I still partially in the closet.
I'd had that experience on mainly guys take a second look on me. May be is because in a tight t-shirt my boobs are noticeable that now start pointing to the front, plus the long hair, detailed cleaned and arched eyebrows.
Some people says that my skin looks more clean, almost no hair on face, yesterday, wearing a short, I noticed a guy checking my legs while I was sit on a couch in a Lavender Festival.
After that, we met in their house for dinner, a couple a bit older than us and she has asked me twice, first about my long hair, then my clear lacquered nails, after some evasive answers y my side she said wouldn't allow her husband to go out with me because I could seduce him. Everybody laughs a lot then I changed the topic.
Later wife told me that I should get out to some friends.

[Heidi Stevens]

Hi Ariana. I have been on HRT for 40 months and I still present male (another story). I have the advantage of age, so explaining small breasts can be brushed aside by pointing out men with bigger breasts than mine. My face has filled out a little, but I’ve also lost 25 pounds and that has helped with courious folks that think my look has been changing.
I’ve always shaved my legs, so they are no problem. I needed to go on HRT for my mental health. With out it I would be alone, angry and frustrated. Instead, I’m happy, at peace and have no internal urges to transition completely.
So I am proof that you can live on HRT for years with out too many problems. Good luck.

[Katya@]

Hi Ariana,
I am few weeks shy from1 year as I started on anti-adrogen although most changed were from Estrogen I started in November. I am not out at work or to most people. I have breasts that are noticable without shirts or with some type of shirts. Yet, there are plenty of ways to dress where they are not noticable. I think many hope for the best as far as breast development goes but I think more often than not, it is not near what an average GG gets so I wouldn't stress much about it. For swimming - I got myself a rash guard. For run, I run with sports bra but it is not very noticable under shirt. I will run 1/2 marathon on Saturday with 1000 more people and a close friend of mine out of country to whom I haven't came out yet. Will see if he will notice. If not, I am comming out to him on the weekend anyways.
Also, about facial hair removal - I echo Lea. I too do weekly electrolysis on face and chest. No one said a word to me despite for half a week I work with partially clean partially unshaved face. Considering how long the process is (over a year) - everyone would tell you start asap if you are considering it. I bet it is not easy to live out as female and walk unshaved for 3 days in a row every week.
Finally - mental benefits were immediate to me and totally worth it.

[Ariana225]

Lea,

Thanks girl! I’ll have to look into that when the time comes!

Vanessa,

That’s great to hear! I’m so glad everything is going so well for you! I’m hoping your journey keeps going to well!

Heidi,

That’s what I want to achieve until I get to a point in life where I want/need to go full time. The mental aspect is just as important as any physical change, as minor as some of those can be, I just want the right hormones going through me.

Katya,

That’s wonderful! Let us know how your friend reacts to coming out. And that’s what I have heard about breast growth, but if I’m one of the few ones that get bigger, I might have to come out sooner than expected. Also that is one of the things I want done, but it’s hard to explain, getting rid of all facial hair.

Mental benifits are what I am going for mostly, glad to hear it was positive!

[natasha]

I have been on hormones for 9 years and am still in the closet. Yes, I have to wear a sport bra and yes my hair is long (past my shoulders now, yay!). For the few that have said anything about my hair, I tell them if they dont like it.......too bad.

[Teresa]

Ariana,
Many thanks for posing the question . I may stand being corrected here but if you go this route on the NHS in the UK you need to dress full time during or before hormone therapy .

So really the question is to you and others that have replied saying they are still in the closet don't they find it self defeating ?

I'm not on hormones although others keep suggesting I should be but I'm pushing hard to be out dressed full time , I wouldn't do hormones until I could achieve that . At the moment I get by with how I look and I'm very happy with my developing situation .

[Ariana225]

Natasha,

you do you girl! Has being on HRT for those 9 years kept you from going insane?

Teresa,

Ive heard countless testimonials where HRT has saved lives. That HRT can positively help with your mental health. I’ve read on places where some of it is a placebo effect from knowing your on it and some of it is because all the hormones coursing through out the body can change your inner self.

When life prevents you from, you are not ready to be out of the closet, or for any other reason you could just want to be on HRT before coming out of the closet. It could prevent balding, help with unwanted hair, increase the health of your skin/nails, etc.

With me I’m moving to another city and starting a new career so I don’t want to fully come out yet. I’m strongly considering going on HRT for mental health and for my body changing in ways that align with how I feel.

Everyone is different, this is just my understanding and reasoning.

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-body/how-to-find-an-nhs-gender-identity-clinic/

I’m not sure about what the UK does, but I did find a government website for you if you want to call a clinic or visit to ask those questions. Perhaps even a fellow UK sister here could answer them.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

You should do what you think is right for you, be smart but you can't predict some consequences...

its your quality of life, and having some hidden breast growth seems a small price to pay for inner peace/..

I know one person that had FFS...planned to transition and continues to "dillydally...the thing is her FFS changed her appearance alot, she loves it, made the GD much less...nobody notices much or cares.... to me its kind of strange but it works for her, and although I can look at her face as a woman's face, apparently the way she lives nobody else does...alhtough they all think she's gay, and she is gay (as a man)....lol...how confusing!!!

[melissaK]

I have been on HRT for a lotta years. Breasts develop differently for everyone growing from not there to there. My breasts are maybe a B cup. I present male. I wear flat un-cupped sports bras with loose fit opaque shirts with patterns so bra lines don't show, I wear shirts with double breast pockets. I don't think anybody has really noticed, if they have they didn't tell me.

However, you can be outed by huggers, backslappers, and kids who climb on you for piggyback rides and who then feel your undergarments or breasts. I plan ahead at family functions to go bra-less with just a loose shirt instead. And you will be outed at doctors who need your shirt off for whatever reason (I have been outed for EKGs, X-rays, and stethoscopes listening for lung sounds). Health care workers take privacy rights seriously nowadays and none have asked be about it, and most have seen far weirder than us MTF's in transition. Oh, and TSA agents. Sometimes you get some interesting pat downs if you wear bras through the scanner, but they are always super polite and don't make a deal of it, but again, I try to plan ahead and go bra-less on travel days.

But if you are starting HRT, you have committed yourself to being prepared for being outed and all the related consequences anyway, right?

[Teresa]

Melissa,
Your last line was also my assumption .

Ariana,
Yes I will ask and check it out I'm attending a social meeting tomorrow night , we have some TSs who have fully transitioned so I will check the details with them and post my reply .

[Rianna Humble]

This thread has drifted away from the OP's specific posting request with the support of the OP, so time to say night night thread