Gender in your face

[Becky Blue]

Every time I leave my office to go anywhere I have to walk past the entrance to the Woman's Toilets. Every single time I walk past, I see the little woman stick figure, it registers in my head, she is a constant gender reminder for me. I also walk past a fire extinguisher which I see but am totally unaware of.

As a gender fluid 'Girl' my feelings can come and go, but no matter what that little stick woman is a constant. The more I think about it the more I realise that I am constantly aware of my gender, simple things like signs, adverts are all keeping gender front of mind.

Recently a shoe chain had a slogan 'The Future is Female' I walk past that shop about 5 or 6 times a week, every time I saw that slogan I felt it was shouting out at me.
Do others feel like this?

[traciethetg]

Maybe you are a transsexual and not just a crossdresser..?

[Becky Blue]

I know I am not 'just a crossdresser' nor a transexual Tracie.. I am both and neither. I have posted my story already so did not want to repeat it here.

[beyondwow]

They say your perception of the world is molded by your goals. If you are saving up for a 2018 Ford F-150, then you will start seeing (or noticing rather) that car everywhere. If you are planning a trip to Hawaii then you'll start to notice increased mentions of Hawaii in tv, movies, or books. Since I've started dressing in public, I've noticed makeup in stores (even in convenient stores!) which I was apparently blind to in the past. I would venture to say that people who don't stop to think twice about gender issues ever notice how much these signs and reminders are actually among our society. Now that you've kind of got me thinking about the topic I am probably going to start noticing these reminders a lot more now as well :)

[nelliebell]

I agree with Beyondwow. I know I start to see things that I think about a lot. It's like you said Becky, some kind of calling :D

[suzanne]

I see it a bit differently. That character on the door is not necessarily a woman or girl. It is a person wearing a dress.

You're welcome.

[Valentina_Rossi]

Hi!!!

I actually have more noticed how gender, and gender variance have been comodified. For example, the new Benetton ads here say "no gender zone " and show children dressed with a combination of traditional male and female clothing.

There is another add campaign where they show crossdressers - I think- showing half-male half-female faces. So my perception is more of the blurring of the differences.

Also, a lot of public spaces here are gender neutral, like toilets, so you do not see the little icons on the door😉

Love love
Val

[Beverley Sims]

Signs like Women Only do it for me.

[Becky Blue]

They say your perception of the world is molded by your goals. If you are saving up for a 2018 Ford F-150, then you will start seeing (or noticing rather) that car everywhere. If you are planning a trip to Hawaii then you'll start to notice increased mentions of Hawaii in tv, movies, or books. Since I've started dressing in public, I've noticed makeup in stores (even in convenient stores!) which I was apparently blind to in the past. I would venture to say that people who don't stop to think twice about gender issues ever notice how much these signs and reminders are actually among our society. Now that you've kind of got me thinking about the topic I am probably going to start noticing these reminders a lot more now as well :)

Actually my theory is its your browsing history and/or Siri or the equivalent...they are listening and watching and feeding back to you lol

[DaisyLawrence]

I know what you mean Becs but in reality it is just as beyondwow explains it. I bought a new car recently and wow, have I noticed just how many of that car there are, never realised before. :)

[Becky Blue]

And to think how hard you tried to be different Daisy :)

But I do agree with you Beyondwow and I apologise for now making every female toilet stick woman shout out at you from now onwards.

[beyondwow]

thanks Nellie :)

And yes Becky! that's so true! it's more of automation and filters shaping your world than a person watching you but check out the TED talk "Filter Bubbles"! It's about what you said and explains how technology is severely shaping the way we experience the world.

[Elizabeth G]

Hi Becky,

I've noticed the same exact thing so all of those stick women are already shouting at me :lol:.

Hi Beyond,

I think you nailed it. In recent years my crossdressing needs have gotten significantly stronger and during this time I have been much more attuned to gender references around me.

[IleneD]

Becky,

YES! yes, yes yes yes, and yes.
Lord help me. The feeling. The Pink Fog. The reminder hanging in the back of my skull that I am not like other "men"; I'm a transgender and (as Pat's signature line exclaims); not male nor female. Trans, and special because of it. I thank God for those feelings.
But yes.... it seems at times The World is screaming at us.

[Teresa]

Becky,
Can you see a small problem arising here , the facillities with a female stick symbol wearing a dress will eventually be used by CDers, the one with a figure wearing trousers will eventually be used by women because so few wear dresses or skirts now, so where do the poor guys go , are they back to using the third bush on the right ?

I know I say this in jest but with the situation with using the correct washrooms especially in the US how long will it be before the female symbol will have to be changed to be more politically/gender correct ?

The shop sign is an intriguing one ,did the shoe chain belong to CDers. com ?

It's not so much shouting at me but more a feeling I know where I belong now . I've never been that comfortable in male changing areas .

[Joyce Swindell]

When I walk by them I often feel like...there is where I want to go. But dressed as male... I just keep walking. However.... I have noticed an increasing trend of both stick figures on the same placard. Which makes me feel really good.

[Rayleen]

I am the same way if I go to a mall, will see a bra and nightie or women shoe store, will be reminded .

Another thing that I always had was when dressing with men clothes, it seem that I'm always in the wrong gender clothing.

Has any of you the same way dressing in male mode ?

[Dana44]

Oh yes indeed, technologies telling us to be who we are.

[Sashauk]

A little too late for me but perhaps in a couple of generations this strict gender conformity will be a thing of the past. Hopefully a time will come when everyone will be able to dress and act in whichever gender style they chose, and to be able to switch at will as the mood takes them.

@Rayleen - whilst I feel happier and more relaxed wearing 'female' clothes I don't feel I am in the wrong clothes if I have to dress in male - so perhaps I am gender fluid. Although I have to admit I spend more time looking at female clothes in the stores than I ever do on men's.

[Becky Blue]

Teresa, you should come down under to my part of Melbourne I would say that around 25 -30% of the women are in dresses or skirts and remember its cold and wet down here right now.. I summer I would say it rises to 40%... so I think stick women signs are here to stay.

and yes Rayleen...at times when I am in male mode I think this just doesn't look or feel right on me but thats only at times for me... usually I dont really think much about clothes or what i am wearing when I am in drab.

The point of my post was that even when I have no pink fog and becky is at a lowish point gender is still always in my mind and simple little things like a sign on a toilet bring it front of mind if even just for 20 seconds

[Cassandra Lynn]

The point of my post was that even when I have no pink fog and becky is at a lowish point gender is still always in my mind and simple little things like a sign on a toilet bring it front of mind if even just for 20 seconds
Hmmm, kinda seems to me like most of the responses have tended to just write the point of the thread off to coincidence, but that doesn't quite settle it for me.

Obviously, gender and our identity, is on our minds daily, so saying those reminders we run into aren't sometimes delible is a great big DUHHH!


Quite frankly and honestly, I tire of those glaring reminders...….bathroom signs, advertisememnts, documents and forms asking for your gender and offering male and female as your only choices, etc, etc.
I once started a conversation and came out to a stranger because I marked over the word gender on the form and wrote sex instead......the receptionist asked me and I told her I was born the male sex, but I don't identify my gender as being male.


I doubt that I ever not think of my gender variance when I see something like what you described Bec, thanx darlin for the thread.


Cass

[Becky Blue]

Cass I find it interesting that you tire of these constant reminders of gender. I basically can summarise my response in 4 categories. In the main, its a recognition and its kind of noted but there is no emotional response. But quite often, I get a small warm glow inside, I kind of like being reminded that with all the distractions of life/work/family etc etc she is in there. But at times they do trigger a small dose of GD and I feel slightly uneasy for a time. On rare occasions something will trigger a level of sadness.

[Cassandra Lynn]

Thanx Bec, I needed just that reply.

:bitchslap::bighug:

Living life on life's terms and dealing with a lot of not so pleasant stuff sometimes leaves me running a little on the negative side.
My post showed exactly that and I need to flip it back to the positive; I do believe in and accept my gender variance as a gift.


I'm glad I have a place like this, to hear what I need to hear, when I need to hear it.


Cass

[DaisyLawrence]

Cass. As you say, your gender variance is a gift. So, if you keep that thought always in the back of your mind, you should be able to tip the scales towards the positive rather than the negative when triggered by things around you. It works for me. The ones I feel sorry for are those that do not realise it is a gift, they have no chance. Variety is, as they say, the spice of life, and that applies to all things including gender. :)

[Becky Blue]

My gender variance is a gift and I am thankful that 'she' has enhanced my life considerably and enabled me to be so much more than just another ordinary boring guy :) and any chance to remind me is a positive in my world.

[DaisyLawrence]

Well said Becky. I never used to think of myself as 'just another boring guy' but I definately used to give that visual signal. Nowadays people are a bit confused by what they see but they are united in thinking I must at least be 'interesting'. :)

[Teresa]

Becky,
I agree with your answer to Cassandra, it's just those little reminders , that catch you out , GD is triggered very oddly at times .

I had to smile at the comment about being the boring guy , I was reminded yesterday that I don't fit into that box. I was having a converstaion with my art group about epitaths and one male member chirped up , " Yours will say it's gone very quite now , I think he must be dead !" I'm sure I will be missed but perhaps for not all the right reasons , I dread to think what my wife will have written ! Perhaps something like , " Well at least he's wearing his own dress now ! "

I can see a great thread coming from this point !

[jeanine38]

Where I see it is in the plethora of "women-only" activities. It's somehow cool to tribaly exclude men from things these days. I understand the concept and the origin, but it gets old and it starts to expose double standards.

[Stephanie Julianna]

My answer is CONSTANTLY! It is a rare moment when I am not thinking about my female self. So much that I do involves being around a majority of women. I am one of 2-3 guys at my Weight Watchers meetings where the woman number about 30. At work I am one of 2 mail nurse and one male CNA. The world is female for me and that is my comfort zone.

[DIANEF]

I see and notice female images every where I look, the weather girl, the news reader, the women in the super market, adverts, pop songs. They are constant reminders of just why I enjoy the femme side of my personality so much.