Returning to my home.

[Janine cd]

Hi!
It's been a long time since my last post. I have struggled with the desire to end my crossdressing for about a year now. After much introspection, I have concluded that the desire will never go away and I must live with the consequences. I'm happy to be back with my sisters.

Love, Janine.

[Elizabeth G]

Welcome back Janine.

Elizabeth

[alwayshave]

Janine, a long time ago I accepted that the need to dress would never go away. Welcome back.

[Tina B.]

Took me years to learn who I am, and to except it. But once I did my life got so much better. Welcome back.

[Beverley Sims]

Janine,
Welcome home.

There are some things in life we find hard to accept and that takes a little time.

[DaisyLawrence]

Right choice. Well done. Happy times ahead :)

[ellbee]

We knew you'd be back. They always come back. Always... :devil:

Nah, in all seriousness, welcome back! :wave:


Sounds like you've been doing some intense navel-gazing while away. Certainly can be a good thing for one's soul. :thumbsup:

We'd be interested in learning what you discovered, in more detail, when you're ready.



You didn't mention: Does this mean you need to start a whole new wardrobe, complete with new CD-related things?

If so, I advise going slow. Don't dive head-first.

I say this, because things may have changed for you during your absence. It may mean something somewhat different for you... That it fits into your life in another way now.

And if that may be the case, then what you *think* you need to buy might not necessarily be the best choices for you today. Don't simply automatically default to "your usual," since that's what you've always worn. You're a different person now, on some levels. Even if you have already made some purchases, that's fine... But I wouldn't necessarily be in any rush to go buy a wig, a bra & a set of forms, a bunch of make-up, some basic black heels, or whatever it may be. Again, things may be different now. What used to "work" for you, may not work for you today.


And on the same token, don't automatically assume that you'll be doing whatever you used to do when you used to get all dolled-up. Taking a bunch of photos, hitting the T-friendly clubs, even self-gratifying yourself, whatever it may have been. Because that may no longer be "you" now, either, ya know?

Or, in the other direction... Maybe this is the final start of your transition to be the woman you always felt you were? I dunno. :strugglin


But the bottom line is, this sounds like it might be a much-welcomed fresh start for you. So, it's fine & probably even recommended that you slowly wade into the pool, at first. Don't be afraid to explore, to try new things, to feel them out to see if it's right for you. Starting anew can certainly be a wonderful gift! :)

[Helen_Highwater]

Janine,

Glad you were able to reconcile your thoughts. Often the term consequences is used to denote negative outcomes. I think in this case we're looking at positives.

I hope you're able now to find contentment in wanting to dress. You're doing nothing wrong, we're just that little bit special!

[Sashauk]

I'm pleased that you have finally accepted that the desire to wear pretty feminine clothes will never go away, Janine.

I started in my early teens (over 50 years ago) and often though I would grow out of it, but here I am nearly 70 and the desire is as strong as it ever was. Don't fight it - just accept it's who you are and enjoy a life of silk, satin and lace.

[Rayleen]

Janine cd, Its nice that you're back, and if you're happy, that the best ...happy days !!!

[Angela Marie]

After two years away I came to the exact same conclusion a few weeks ago. Like many I purged and told myself I was done; but reality always has a way of reasserting itself. I refuse to be defined by narrow minded standards that judge me on only one facet of my personality. Congratulations and welcome back.

[Jaylyn]

Janine I've tried this very thing many times but have always returned so welcome back, as already stated accept it and enjoy the dressing.

[Teri Ray]

Welcome back to the journey. Best wishes.

[NancySue]

Yes, welcome back. It took me several years to arrive at the conclusion that the pink fog is and always be with us. I still continue to read about us. After full acceptance, life is very enjoyable. Being a part of this web site is an important part of my life. Best to you. Enjoy.

[Janine cd]

ellbee,
Thank you for your caring advice. I am grateful for your " words of wisdom". I'm trying to take things in stride and am moving very cautiously. I was careful about saving some of my wardrobe and a couple of wigs before trying to end it all. It's so nice to have so many sisters come to my support.

[kimdl93]

It’s a frustrating aspect of being as we are. I’m glad you’re back, and learning, as we all are, to accept yourself in all dimensions.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Janine :hugs:, Welcome back, When you are here you are home!

Crossdressing is like the Mafia, You just can't quit.

Enjoy the gift that you have. >Orchid...:daydreaming:...

[Becky Blue]

As they say in the classics you can run but you can't hide! welcome back Janine.

[Lana Mae]

Welcome back, Janine! Enjoy your journey! Hugs Lana Mae

[Shely]

Janine, welcome back among your dressed up friends. I have often struggled with stopping this thing, but have never achieved the results I hoped for. The need to dress goes all the way to the bone I guess.

[Robin777]

Welcome back Janine.

I had doubts years ago about what I was doing until I found this forum. It gave me the confidence to accept who I am and explore my inner self.

[Jaymees22]

Welcome back Janine. Why struggle with desire, enjoy it while you can. Sometimes I think about stopping but the moment passes quickly. Hugs Jaymee

[Glenda58]

Welcome back Janine It will never go away. If you try stopping it will come back stronger than before. I know been there done that. Now I just live with it and enjoy it.

[Tommie Rae]

It took many years and many well-meaning but uninformed therapists for me to realize that this is just a part of who I am. Like most of us, I tried "quitting" but nothing really worked. My last and best therapist told me that I am not doing anything wrong. Different perhaps but not wrong. Many tears, many sleepless nights. I found a mixture of male-female that works for me and we all hope you find something that works for you.

[Shayla]

I agree with the rest- this 'thing' is with us for good. For me it ebbs and flows (once even ebbed for several years) but I am resigned to it being a part of my life. Now that I have accepted the fact that I am a crossdresser and that is OK, I am trying for the next step- to be able to look at my transgenderism as a 'gift' and not something that I should have to worry about so much.