Hidden? Gems

[Helen_Highwater]

Let me be clear at the very outset. This thread isn’t about the mechanics of tucking. It has nothing to do with whether you use tape, gaffs, knickers or any other solution. That information can be found HERE (https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?252974-The-Art-of-Tucking-v3-0).

What I’m interested in is the mind-set, the way it makes you feel, the psychology of the doing.

I can remember wanting to lose the bulge long before I ever thought of stepping outside enfemme. Having that “appendage” felt alien, I need to look as much like a female as possible so hiding the offending items was the logical thing to do.

We’re all aware of the delicacy of the genitalia, the knowing that even a small knock can be uncomfortable to say the least so taking a course of action that seems to put things in harm’s way can be fraught with trepidation. Posts here have talked about the fear of discomfort being a barrier to experimenting and hence not tucking when dressed. This is where I need to ask questions.

If you don’t tuck what is it that stops you? Fear of possible pain and discomfort or perhaps you just don’t feel the need? Perhaps you’re relatively new to dressing and not really aware of the practice. If feel you’re in need of more advice before trying, go HERE (https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?252974-The-Art-of-Tucking-v3-0).

If you do tuck, what does it bring to your party? Is it about creating a more convincing silhouette or does knowing things are out of sight, that if naked you look more female, add to your “inner woman”?

For my part being tucked has now become second nature. Certainly taking those first experimental steps was fraught with nervous angst. Once (quickly) mastered there has been no going back. Now that I’ve progressed to going out knowing that I have that flatter profile adds to my confidence, one less thing to give me away. Beyond that even spending time dressed at home being tucked just feels right. Looking in the mirror while wearing a bra and knickers makes me feel good about myself, that I’m on the right road, having things look as they should.

I also believe that, even if subconsciously, knowing that I’m going about with that smooth profile has a real impact. I think it helps in how I feel about myself, calmer, more assured. It’s things such as sitting cross legged knowing my little “Friends” aren’t sat there in my lap is again one of those things that feels right.

What’s also a bit strange is that I can achieve a fairly flat profile without tucking. That does however leave me aware of the family jewels still being in place and that can have the effect of making me feel less femme. And that is perhaps the thing at the core of it for me. There’s an old saying, “If it looks right then it is right” so knowing it either does or doesn’t look right has that impact.

[Jenny22]

I don't tuck .. don't have to.My family jewels have become remembrances of things past. A panty with a wide gusset does the trick.

[Teresa]

Helen,
The basic fact is if I dress it has be the correct shape, as you know I'm a great one for keeping it as natural as possible , only a little in the boob department and no lower padding , OK my figure isn't a bad shape but I do appear to have a reasonable manhood which isn't in keeping with a female profile . OK I'm going to jog your memory but tucking reminds me of Eddie Waring ( I assume I've spelt his name right , he commentated on the BBC rugby league many moons ago ), his favourite expession was a high kick being an , " Up and under !" Everytime I tuck those words come to mind .

Do all CDers tuck and if not why not ? OK to relate a story from a member of another social group I attend , he/she changes and dresses for the few hours at the meeting , he/she told me that the full petticoats and skirts helped hide her , " Excitment !!" So she ceratinly didn't tuck and had no intentions ! I felt a bit prudush but it's something you don't want to hear when in mixed company ! OH well it takes all sorts !!

[Nikki A.]

Sorry, I don't tuck. I don't feel the need to, a panty keeps me flat enough and I can't even remember the last time I got excited when dressed. Since no one will see me in a bra and panties who cares.

[carolyn todd]

Helen
I think as you say its psychology, i would be one of those who push down and wear a pantie shield (in case of a oops! moment)
it keeps me smooth.
its what we want to see that when we go out in public that we are seen as a women.

Carolyn

[Elizabeth G]

Hi Helen,

I tuck all of the time, en femme and en drab. I do indeed like the smoother silhouette but more importantly for me I just like the feeling of not having anything dangling there as a constant reminder. Tucking makes me feel a little more feminine all of the time.

Elizabeth

[DanielleDubois]

For Danielle a convincing tuck is a very important part of the transformation. Being able to look in a mirror and see a reasonable facsimile of a female body in sexy lingerie has always been an exciting part of my feminine persona. I guess I am one of those people where the crossdressing has a large sexual component.

[JeanTG]

I don't feel the need. I simply dress in a manner that the bulge is not noticeable. I have been blessed with below average dimensions in the relevant department, which also helps. Like Nikki I don't get aroused by dressing, dressing just restores me to my natural feminine state.

[Beverley Sims]

No tuck here I hide bulges in both genders and always have.

[biancabellelover]

I'm dressed (and tucked) as I'm typing this. :)

When I'm dressed I want to be feminine. That includes tucking, padded panties, and a (slightly) padded bra. I feel better when I look in the mirror and see (from the neck down) a womanly figure as opposed to a man in a dress. The crotch bulge used to spoil the image.

The best aid I have for this are spanks. Having said that, by the end of the day I often un-tuck as my bits can get uncomfortable.

When I'm dressed male I don't.

Michelle.

[emma30]

I think this is a really good point. My inner girl hates all things about my male outer persona so for her its important to look and feel as much a woman as possible. There is a complexed mental issue with me, its a deep and meaningful process which has to be adhered to.
Good thread thanks.

[Sashauk]

I never tuck. I have always been quite small and, like Nikki, I can't remember the last time I got excited putting on a pair of panties so just a normal pair works fine for me. I'm hoping to start on hormones soon so I may well end up even smaller than I am now which would make me very happy.

[Mary Lawrence]

I always try to present myself as a woman who is the same age I am. One of the basics is wearing a padded panty over regular panties to modestly support to my image as having feminine hips and butt cheeks and a waist narrower than that of a same-age male. Because I am far from the days of being a sweet and lithe young thing, I modified the front of the shaping panty to include more padding that extends from the crotch upward to about belly button height. This does two things. First, it gives me a slight bulge in the belly, very common in older women. Second, it provides cover for any unwanted bulge provided by my male parts. Further, if I am wearing pants with an inseam high in the crotch, the front padding and the snugness of the shaping panty serves to hold those male parts up and mildly compressed, with no dangling.

[Piora]

I recently bought a pair of padded panties - they have the hip and butt removable pads. I was thinking of getting a gaff, but I really want to wear these. I'm afraid, however, that wearing both together will just add another layer, and defeat the purpose of trying to keep the bulge hidden while wearing tight skirts. Is it best to just wear the padded panties, but simply tuck and use tape first? I don't have any experience with tucking previously.

[RaeK]

Don't tuck. Those days are over.

[Lana Mae]

Don't tuck-hernia! Don't wear sexy or tight clothes in either mode! Smaller there now that I am older! LOL TMI Hugs Lana Mae

[phili]

I tried to tuck, but cannot find any openings or spaces in my pelvic floor, so I am mystified by that. When I simulate it, I feel quite different-lighter, and able to put more attention on other things- relieved, I'd say. I am astonished at how much the presence of external genitals with noticeable mass has on how I walk, think, etc.


Simulated tucking resulted in a feeling of having thoroughly neutralized manhood, and I liked that- although tape and such does not appeal. Perhaps we enjoy neutralizing our male body evidence because so many constraining rules were placed on us by parents because we are males- with the next part of the explanation being a gesture pointing to our genitals. So eliminating them, or at least the visibility of them, is a way to opt out.

After I went ahead with allowing femininity despite being male, I started feeling dramatic changes - my genitals just become less obtrusive [think cold water look], and I now have orgasms without any erection, which is quite a surprise, but feels very nice in a new way. My overall sensuality is expanded, and I still have a fair amount of arousal and erectile swelling on and off during the day. As a genderfluid bi person, I am happy seeing bulges under dresses on others, and it is equivalent to me to seeing nipples or outlines of lower female anatomy through clothing. However, I like flared skirts to counter my broad shoulders, so modesty is easily obtained with petticoat slips or A-line underskirts.

[docrobbysherry]

Like u, Helen, I tuck every time I dress. Have ror 20 years. So, it's become automatic.

I go extreme lengths to see everything female in my mirror. Female figure, female face, female arms, legs, and hands. I can even appear to be a naked female if I wish. :battingeyelashes:

Seeing a bulge down there would not only ruin the illusion for me, it would be disgusting!:doh:

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Helen :hugs:, On game day the team is on the field ready to play,
On days that there is no game the players are sent packing.

When I go on a job I have all of my tools for the job,
When I don't need my tools they stay in the van.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>Orchid...:daydreaming:...

[Barbara Black]

I don't hardly ever tuck. I have little to hide.. literally. But I seldom wear a dress that would show off what I do have, so there's really no great need. I don't get the 'feeling of dangling' though, perhaps I don't have enough weight there to be aware of? ha ha

[Piora]

Well, I recently bought a new skirt (it arrived this week, and I love it) It's quite tight, and very stretchy and clingy....so much so, that I want to find a way to flatten the bulge successfully. As previously mentioned, the padded panties do work up to a point, but I think I need to learn how to tuck in order to achieve the look I want.

[Asew]

I have never tucked. It actually grosses me out a little bit. There was a couple skirts I bought after I first told my wife about CDing and she mentioned she could see my bulge. So all my skirts since then are the ones that are better at hiding bulges (so multiple layers, non-flat such as pleats or such, thicker fabrics are all things that help). But I also noticed how you can see my bulge in my male jeans and cargo shorts. And I already know running shorts don't hide much. If a bulge happens its not the end of the world.

[Teresa]

Asew,
I guess it's back to the MIAD situation , I see Phili has the same opinion. . May I ask why you find it gross ? To most it's gross to show a bulge .

Tucking is an essetial if you fully dress and want to be a convincing woman , they don't have bulges full stop . I couldn't have worn the skirt in my avatar , and I certainly couldn't have gone and tried a swimsuit on . My slim fit jeans and TShirt couldn't happen without a tuck . I actually find it feels wrong now if I don't when I'm in my own home .

Phili ,
I don't find it's rocket science , an ordinary pair of panties and a pair of medium control ones keep things smooth enough in front . I probed and prodded but I couldn't find the cavity others talk about so I can't comment . I know I questioned after a hernia repair if it was still possible and members came back and said it was but I find very comfortable as I am , lets face it I do it nearly everyday now . I have found it easier and more pleasant since I removed all my hair .

[Tina B.]

I like to wear pencil skirts, and even in a pair of pants, I don't ever want to see a bulge. So yes I tuck, pretty much every time I dress, and sometimes when I can't dress due to commitments. I will tuck and under dress, just to make myself feel better about having to be in drab when I really want to be in something pretty. Yes, it's not about the look, as much as just having it gone for a while.

[Helen_Highwater]

Thanks to all who replied. Not surprisingly given the diverse nature of those here there were a range of opinions.

There are those who like me want rid, at least while dressed, of those manly bits. There’s an importance to getting the image right. That I suppose is only to be expected. What did interest me were the replies by those who felt they were possessed of relatively small “wedding tackle” as it’s colloquially sometimes referred to in the UK. This did make me wonder if this was in fact true or more to do with societies image of a “Real Man” being as we say over here, “Hung like a donkey”. In truth I suspect that most don’t fall into that camp. It’s an image we’re created in our heads of what we should be not what in reality most are really like. Well-endowed is the exception, not the norm so what’s thought of as small is actually more akin to average. Is this possible misconception having an adverse impact upon body image and hence the feeling that there’s little point in taking action to hide what they have.

Societies so called norms can play havoc with our thinking, influencing our actions based on falsehoods and not the actual true situation.

I suppose an ancillary question I could have included would be of those who go out, who tucks? Are the "Tuckers" more inclined to dress in more well fitted skirts/dresses and hence have a need to have that smooth outline or as one or two have commented, use more loosely fitting garments that negates the need to conceal the family jewels.

One other though, did going out prompt you to tuck or did you do it before anyway?

[Teresa]

Helen,
My first time out was in the ballgown on my profile page , I'd already made provision for control panties from good old BHS ( Oh how I miss them , still haven't found anyone else selling multipack stockings ) .I can't say how my manhood matches up to others but I'm not setting out on that mission ! OK take this anyway you like but I've never received any complaints from the ladies . I see you picked up on the point of tight fitting items, Jeans and shorts pose more of a problem than skirts or dresses, as for the swimsuit I've just bought well that reamains to be seen but I do intend to wear it !

[Asew]

Teresa,
One part of why I think I find tucking gross is because I have always had an aversion to touching my genitalia. As a teenager I never touched them with my hands. In college, I still wouldn't touch my testicles. So it seems gross to have to maneuver and position them to tuck.

And the other part is that tucking seems confining. For me, skirts are so awesome since they are more freeing than pants and shorts. One less layer between my legs. 95% of the time I wear boxers which are also quite freeing compared to most underwear options. So a tuck seems the opposite of freeing. I definitely have no desire for a swimsuit or skinny jeans, too confining.

Even if I try to go for a full woman appearance (or more likely drag queen when going to a drag show), I think I would still go untucked and choose an outfit that won't show an untucked bulge. There are plenty of skirts that won't show an untucked bulge, and yes it does limits my options, but I still find plenty of skirts to wear (in 5 months I have went from having 1 skirt to having more skirts than all my pants, shorts and running shorts put together).

[DIANEF]

A flat front to me is as essential as boobs or hips. It completes the female shape, as much as a male can do that, and if wearing close fitting clothes it is a must do thing. If done right you can go all day with the 'goods' hidden away. Just to answer Helen's question, I tucked long before I ever went out.

[suzanne]

I don't tuck. I don't really need to because my "package" is small. Not many men would be proud of that fact, but I'm so uninterested in being like regler men.

[--Nina--]

If I could figure how to tape tuck or use glue to get it to work I would keep tuck all the time.

[amyinhiding]

I made a big deal about tucking myself in back in the day, but now I care more about being comfortable when I'm out and about. Less tight-fitting jeans is probably the biggest difference for my going-out strategy these days!

[Teresa]

Asew,
Thanks for clearing that point up, I assume it's a problem not associated with GD , I have to be careful how I word this but are you Catholic ? I know when we played rugby against a catholic school the boys had to wear swimming trunks in the showers , and they were checked in the dormitories at night to make sure their hands and arms were on the outside , I guess those disciplines could cause some problems later in life .

I don't tuck because of GD but because I love to have a varied wardrobe , full skirts just don't work in some circumstances , although it was funny to sit in the waiting area to donate blood and of the twenty people sitting there with a 50/50 mix of men and women I was the only one weraing a Skirt and yes I did tuck because I knew I would be swinging my legs onto the raised chair during the donation session .

It's obviously a question my wife never asked but I'm sure she like many women would think it gross that we hadn't made some attempt to keep our male bits well hidden and unobtrusive .

[Raychel]

For me tucking is a must when dressed.
I don't go out when dressed. So that isn't a
problem for me.

But hiding the bit while dressed is a must for me
For the issues in my brain and for the look

[Tina B.]

I'm another one that never goes out dressed. The tuck is just for me, it completes the look, and satisfies the mind.

[sometimes_miss]

Simple. Not much to tuck. Wearing a briefer or girdle, flattens out what little I have, to the point that I resemble a female in the genital areas.

[Jaymees22]

I think presenting a flat front is important.

Here's a picture of me checking out the chapter in my book about tucking and I was alarmed about where to shave and what to tape.

[biancabellelover]

If I had to tape I'd never tuck at all!


Michelle!

[Krea]

I have never really bothered with tucking. After all, i am a miad. I had a few half-hearted attempts and quickly decided it just wasn't for me. :Pullhair:
Fortunately i don't have too much to hide anyway and i only dress at home, so it's less crucial. Some snug knickers and tights compress most of what little there is under a skirt.
If i wear leggings, skinny jeans or a tighter skirt, i wear a longer and looser fitting top, which is more forgiving. I find a larger & longer tank/cami vest does this well. :daydreaming:

[NjJamie]

I'm sure my thoughts are similar to many others but I'll add them anyway!

When I started it was much more of a problem but over the years this hobby has transformed into something different though the end result is still the same as it was the first time I dressed. I now look for as much time as Jamie as I can get and even have managed a few "over-nighter's", a wonderful delight! I just avoid the thoughts that cause the problem to arise as long as I can, finally give in and then find myself quickly changing back to drab. This is somewhat interesting for me as I always tell myself I will stay as Jamie as long as I can though I very rarely do, go figure.

[Helen_Highwater]

Jamie,

Pardon me but in the interests of keeping the thread on track, you don't mention whether or not you tuck and just as critically, how important it is/isn't in creating your look.

Are you like me and others that tuck drawn to how it makes you feel as well as the image you create?

[deebra]

Helen,
Let me answer your question directly, I understand exactly what you are asking. The mindset, how it makes you feel, the psychology of tucking verses not being tucked. When I tuck it makes me feel feminine, I do not feel male when tucked, I like the way I transform to feeling like a woman would feel with nothing down there. I carry this mindset when out and about in public knowing if any one is checking me out they see the same flat front that women have. As a crossdresser it's wearing sexy feminine clothes and when wearing I enjoy feeling like a woman. Take this morning for example, had four or five errands to run in stores and interact with people. I started out with a tight tuck that made everything disappear and pulled a tight black thong over to hold everything where it feminely should be and stay. Then a padded fanny panty and tight boot cut girl jeans with white stitching. The short front zipper, white stitching around it made this area noticeable and left little doubt that it was feminine and there was nothing male behind the zipper. How did it make me feel looking in the mirror and presenting this way; happy that that part of me was female. BTW the tight tuck and padded panty made for a lot of nice feminine curves any woman would want. I also wore cork strappy sandles, a flashy female belt and soft feminine V neck top. Every thing went very smoothly and I thorughly enjoyed going out and feeling as a woman. While in WalMart I asked the SA did they have a pair of female sandles in my size and I also bought a sexy black thin cup bra and matching thong panty which I have on now. Feeling emotionally feminine is equally as important as wearing the clothes. If I were a woman I would definitely dress feminine and a little sexy but with class.