"How do you avoid the "Paper Trail" ?

[Judy-Somthing]

The so called "Paper Trail" do you hate it?

Any time I use the internet to look at something or buy something or credit card to buy something it's there for almost ever!

I bought a All-in one which I love two years ago (which is so cool) and used PayPal now it's still there on PayPal that I bought it!
Heels, breast forms, etc. what the hell!
My wife thinks CDing is messed-up so I have to stay in the closet.
I have to use cash for everything! I would love to be opened but it looks like not in my lifetime!

Wife been digging through the basement, I think it's to find evidence of CDing, I'm thinking next is my computer.

I wish she was more excepting that people are not all the same! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

The question is "how do you avoid the "Paper Trail" ?

[docrobbysherry]

Judy, there r computer savy folks that can explain how to delete your "history". Unfortunately, I'm not one!:sad:

[Jodie_Lynn]

doesn't bother me. One of the benefits of living alone: you don't have to hide things.

[giuseppina]

This one is obvious. Shop in a bricks and mortar store and pay cash. ;)

I realize your wife may not appreciate this option.

[DaisyLawrence]

I don't, I couldn't love someone who can't accept me and I couldn't allow myself to be controlled like that. Sorry.

[Sashauk]

If you use the Internet to buy anything you can not avoid leaving a record of your purchases somewhere. All the stores I have bought from keep a record of your orders, and whist you can delete a record of your browsing from your own computer, this is outside your control. So anyone who can login to these sites with your username and password will be able to see a history of your buying.

As Giuseppia said the only way not to leave a record is to shop personally using cash.

[sometimes_miss]

Separate accounts, separate browsers. Some banking companies keep records simply for legal purposes, so the paypal problem will remain. Solution? Get a separate credit card # for internet use, and use that one only for your online purchases. Attach that to a separate paypal account as well. For Amazon, you can archive orders so they don't show up in the active order history. And, of course, you can get a separate amazon account for your femme self, and of course only use your special credit card or paypal account for those reasons. Erase your browsing history, and destroy all cookies, temp files, and passwords that your browsers normally keep.
That's a good start. More techy folks can give you more. But as Microsoft, google, and practically every site starts monitoring where you go online, you're going to have to learn how to hide EVERYTHING. Perhaps use a browser designed to hide stuff? I think tor is an option.

[Beverley Sims]

Use cash and give a false zip code.

Gotta work on Pay Pal though.

[Elizabeth G]

If the are still times when you need to use a credit card use cash to buy a Visa gift card and then use that card with whatever name you choose.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Perhaps part of the problem here is your wife's resentment of the money you spend on Judy's wardrobe?

Perhaps the solution isn't (the impossibility of) completely hiding your transactions, but reaching an understanding with your wife?

Yeah I know, easy for me to say. But if she's looking to dig up evidence, that does indicate that she is spending an awful lot of time thinking about the subject. If so, perhaps she should be obliged to talk about it face to face instead of operating behind your back? So what if it makes her uncomfortable- it makes you uncomfortable to have to live a lie.

[Lacey New]

This one is obvious. Shop in a bricks and mortar store and pay cash. ;)

I realize your wife may not appreciate this option.

Ditto - I'm in the closet and cash and brick-and-mortar stores is what I do. So, when is the last time you saw a garter belt in a brick and mortar store? Good luck with that! I'm still looking.

[ClosetED]

You can only close the PayPal account and start a new one.This is not browser history, which is easy to delete or I just use a Private Browsing mode (aka Incognito).
Or start 2 PayPal accounts, one for family use and one for Judy. I have 2 Amazon accounts like that. I pay for Ellen's things using Amazon gift cards or one credit card. My wife has a card for that, but she is aware I buy things. You could open a new one and not tell wife and make it paperless, so nothing gets mailed to you, just to a Judy e-mail account. I buy stuff with cash in places like Savers. And I password protect my files.
Hugs, Ellen

[Joyce Swindell]

Right click on whatever browser you're using and a window will open, choose incognito. This will keep your computer from keeping cookies or anything to do with browsing history

[Traci H]

Funny when I read “Paper Trail” I wondered if you meant literally. I have accidentally left a receipt laying around and my wife questioned it. We are some form of DADT but leaving that evidence around never makes her happy. Usually destroy those if the item is good.

Good tips above, but sometimes a lot of work to maintain consistently.

[RaeK]

Although we're DADT, my wife is tolerant enough that I tell her what and when I order any items. She knows I dress when I can but doesn't want to see me dressed, other than in my nightgown.

[ChrisP]

You can have more than one PayPal account. I'd suggest you have a second account with a separate credit card. The same for eBay and places like that.
That's what I do (and not because I'm hiding it from anyone but rather for privacy concerns).

Chris

[GeorgiaD]

The so called "Paper Trail" do you hate it?

Any time I use the internet to look at something or buy something or credit card to buy something it's there for almost ever!

I bought a All-in one which I love two years ago (which is so cool) and used PayPal now it's still there on PayPal that I bought it!
Heels, breast forms, etc. what the hell!
My wife thinks CDing is messed-up so I have to stay in the closet.
I have to use cash for everything! I would love to be opened but it looks like not in my lifetime!

Wife been digging through the basement, I think it's to find evidence of CDing, I'm thinking next is my computer.

I wish she was more excepting that people are not all the same! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

The question is "how do you avoid the "Paper Trail" ?



Hi, eBay purchases can be hidden. There is an option in the drop down box (other actions) on the right when you view the summary of your purchase history.

In PayPal, click on the item you need to hide and it will expand with further information. There is an option to delete that item if you need to.

G xx

[Stephanie47]

The problem with using a credit card is it will show up on your credit report. You can get a credit card with only you as the authorized user, but, that will not stop the linkage between you and your wife from showing up on a credit report. I have bought on line from Macy's and JCPenny. Those are stores my wife also buys from, but, not on line. When I check those stores.com sales history, it shows panties, dresses, foundation garments. If my wife wanted to check something, then she could easily see those purchases. The only answer for your is to buy in person and pay cash. You could open a second Paypal account with linkage for payment to a non interest bearing checking account. Then opt for the checking account to have paperless statements sent to you by email. I've never seen a checking account appear on our credit reports. If my wife were to ever look at our credit card statement she'd notice many bills from eBay.

Your wife is a gem, and, not being said in a nice way. This is more than not appreciating your desires to wear women's clothing, even in total privacy. I could never endure this innate hostility toward me. At some point in time you're going to have a real sit down with her, and, just lay it all out. If your wife cannot find it in her heart to weigh your positive attributes against what she feels is a negative attribute and come to the conclusion to just suck it up, then is it worth staying together?

[Joyce Swindell]

I'm working on getting a "Net Card" so I haven't received it yet so I can't speak for it yet. My understanding is it's a refillable card and they didn't ask for a social or anything to sign up for it.

I suppose I could buy a refillable Visa locally too to make.y purchases.

[Teresa]

Judy,
Only one way is stick to cash .

Am I glad all that is behind me now !

[2B Natasha]

Personally. I’m waiting for the inevitable post that’s coming down the tracks. Something along the lines of. “ my wife found out I’m still dressing and wants a divorce “. Judy. You’re setting yourself up for a long hard fall. Your lying to your wife about dressing, you've set up a back room so you can dress again. Your taking pictures, using makeup buying with a credit card.

There is only one way out for you. Ok two. But the first one didn’t work last time so that’s out. You need to come clean to your wife. Will it be easy? No. Will it lead to a separation? Possibly. Let’s be honest here. The same thing if not worse is coming down the road anyway. Get in front of it.

You don’t want a paper trial. Cash for gift cards at the store. Almost every store sells them. No info required. PO box in a different town.

[kimdl93]

I wish I had a solution to offer, Judy. I'm not sure there is a right answer to this. What works for one may be catastrophic for another. (I was pretty sure I had one of those surprisingly accepting wives....and that proved to not be the case. Or, perhaps more accurately, I exhausted her capacity for tolerance.)

Despite my marriage's demise, I still feel that honesty and compromise are a better alternative than hiding and deceit. Something is inevitably going to give you away. Especially if she's already got her antennae up. Besides that, its got to be exhausting for you to constantly be on guard, and for her to be on alert for telltale signs.

[Alice B]

I am lucky.I use my credit card for everything, including purchases for Alice.My wife does my books and sees all purchases. Sometimes she will ask about what a purchase was for and I tell her the truth. It is my money so I can use it for whatever I want, with no arguments

[LeannS]

Hey Judy use a different browser like firefox and use the private option on all your girl needs.
Make a gmail account for you using Judy and make a new ebay account with your new email account
and be sure to delete the old one that has all your girl purchases on it.
then for paypal just give new email address should do it
to pay for it use a new checking account just be sure to put money in it for the monthly bill

but above all else good luck aand you should have a talk sooner than later :2c:

[Vickie_CDTV]

Paypal will save everything, most likely forever somewhere. That is out of your control, not something you can do on your computer, it is on theirs. They have to keep everything, at least for a very long period of time, for legal reasons. All stores you buy from with a credit card do this (again, they have to.)

Like others said, all you can do is use gift cards and a PO box. Even that isn't foolproof. Your marriage situation is the bigger issue.

[Pumped]

Cash or a refillable cash card.
I withdraw $100 at a time in cash from our joint bank account. If she asks the money went for trivial things like lunch and stuff for my shop as much of it does. I am fortunate that I get a few dollars cash from work spiffs too. For the most part I buy in brick and mortar stores for items she does not need to know about.
We are in a semi-DADT relationship and if something comes in from Amazon she does not ask about it, and if she does I just tell her I will show her when the time is right. She knows about my shoe fetish, panties, and lingerie. I am confidant I could order pretty much anything and have it shipped to the house and she would not worry about it.

[Judy-Somthing]

It's so bad that when my wife goes on the internet and sees the ads for recently viewed items like dresses and lingerie.
She says I'm all messed up. I bought her a dress about ten years ago and she cut it into little pieces, I can't win!
Don't blame me, blame my sister who dressed me up in a Ballerina outfit at five!

[sometimes_miss]

Something is inevitably going to give you away.
We are taught this by our parents, our schools, our religious leaders, and our media. But it's not correct. Plenty of people take secrets with them to the grave. We'll never know how many, because their secrets may die with them. Had I died at 38, no one in the world would have known that I was a crossdresser. Nearly all of my stash was in the walls, ceilings and floors of the house, appearing to be nailed down lumber, which was actually held in place with screws, their darkened heads hidden deep in the knots of the wood. A bit inconvenient? Sure. But unless a detective was intentionally looking for hiding places, it would never be opened up by a casual observer, even during a housing inspection for sale of the property. As time went on, and exhaustion from working every single day and most evenings, I got careless and started leaving things in more convenient places, and the exhaustion eventually gave me away as I left some evidence out in plain sight. But that happened a few years past the age of 38.
We're taught all kinds of nonsense. That criminals always return to the scene of the crime. That murderers always tell someone what they've done. That crime doesn't pay. That justice always catches up with the guilty. That criminals always turn on each other. That there's no such thing as the perfect crime. That what goes around, always comes around. The belief in karma. And, of course, that the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual is two years.
All lunacy, and all incorrect. But the myths live on.

[DIANEF]

I always use cash and buy in stores, simplest way by far.

[Stephanie47]

[QUOTE=Judy-Somthing;4252411]It's so bad that when my wife goes on the internet and sees the ads for recently viewed items like dresses and lingerie.

Until recently I was being plagued with those ads. Heck, when I bought panties recently at Macys.com I was inundated with all sorts of panty ads from Macys. The same with looking at women's clothing on eBay and other sites. I generally use Firefox and my wife uses Internet Explorer. Internet Explorer has a feature called Ad Choices which puts ads on the sidebar of my email based on our shopping experiences or looking. I tried to see if I could block it, but, it seems I cannot do that. However, I can change the ad selection to not track my Internet activity. Now the ads are totally generic, bordering on stupid. I get all sorts of ads for totally useless stuff. Everything for health care to real estate listing all over the country. Not a single ad for panties, lingerie and dresses. It also has ceased drumming ads with images of sites and selections I previously looked at. It use to throw me an ad, for example, for a slip I may have looked a on eBay, asking if I was still interested? You may want to check on your computer settings.

[Sometimes Steffi]

My wife doesn't have access to my paypal account because I haven't given her the password. Same with eBay. But, I normally keep those sites open, so it would be easy enough to just click on eBay to see my list and purchases. However, I do have His and Her Paypal accounts with different passwords. His account is linked to a joint credit card, but I only use it when I'm buying stuff for him. Her account I use for buying everything else. It is not linked to a shared credit card. I buy either Visa gift cards or eBay gift cards with cash and link them to Paypal.

[Rogina B]

Pretty sad thread I'll say. Lots of hiding...Sad that people can't look at their desires objectively.

[Stephanie47]

Oh, to the contrary. I believe many of us do look at our desires objectively. I, and, suppose most of us do not live in a world unto ourselves. Chances of a cross dresser finding a woman who is onboard 100% with her husband wearing women's clothing at all, let alone 100% of the time, is rather remote. If my wife is not appreciative of an outward display of femininity in her husband why would I stick a poker in the wasps' nest? From reading lots of threads and posts over the years it seems most husband and wife relationships have found some middle ground. Not all, but most. Too many forget the husband is only one half of the marital equation. Why should a woman,who is not onboard with her husband's cross dressing desires put up with outward displays of his cross dressing? I suspect most wives have a good idea about the extent of their husband's activities but choose to cut him some slack when balancing out the equation.

I would agree, if one a person is "a woman trapped in a man's body" then perhaps the journey should be different. I suspect most "recreational" cross dressers and their wives are accepting of the implied unspoken agreements.

[Rogina B]

I withdraw $100 at a time in cash from our joint bank account. If she asks the money went for trivial things like lunch and stuff for my shop as much of it does. She knows about my shoe fetish, panties, and lingerie. I am confidant I could order pretty much anything and have it shipped to the house and she would not worry about it.

Sort of unexplainable....your fetish. Does your wife have anything that needs "secret money" as well ?

[Harriettes]

I use the Epic Browser ( https://epicbrowser.com ) for all of my CD browsing. They have a built-in proxy service that can further prevent your IP showing up in unknown places. For email I use Proton Mail ( https://protonmail.com ). They collect minimum information to set up an account. Just don't write down the password. A favorite item of lingerie and a memorable date can be easily remembered for a password.
By the way all the broswers even in incognito have a restore mode ( usually active after a panic shutdown).
And what everyone else said.

- - - Updated - - -

I forgot - never take a picture of yourself in CD mode with your cell phone or tablet. Use a camera with a SD type removable memory card and dedicate it only to CD. Always remove it from the camera when you are done taking your pics.

[BettyMorgan]

Others have answered the browser question well.

A few, more important questions:
If you think she's looking for evidence, the question then becomes what will the evidence be used for?
Ask yourself, How long do I want to live like this?
Is it worth staying with someone who obviously causes you such psychological stress?

[Pumped]

Pretty sad thread I'll say. Lots of hiding...Sad that people can't look at their desires objectively.

Yes it is sad, but we do what we have too. My wife accepts some of it, but some types of clothing she does not want to see me in so it hide it, kind of a semi DADT. It is a decision one makes when you have spent the majority of your life together and get along great on all other aspects of the relationship.

[Roxanne Lanyon]

Well I use a separate browser, and a different camera. A shame really, as I no longer have anyone to hide from!:cheer:

[Joanne108]

If you want to avoid a paper trail maybe you could try to use gift cards?

[Judy-Somthing]

My PayPal has everything from day one, wigs, booze, girdles, pantyhose. Luckily my wife has no idea.
I should close the account before she thinks of looking at it!

[Roxanne Lanyon]

It is so difficult to hide or disguise transactions for nice things that can only serve to make one feel happy and look pretty! I just do not think I could ever stop finding pretty clothes. I love being a sweet, caring girl!293264