Coming out to friends can be so unpredictable!

[Patience]

Until last week, the only person who's seen me crossdressed was a former roommate of mine (Let's call her Amy) and her house was the only place I'd been 100% crossdressed other than my home and work, to a certain extent (more on that in a future post).

Last week, I did what had been my routine: I’d dress up and hang out with one friend, expecting to change into my regular clothes later because I had not yet come out to my other ex-roommate (let’s call him Tony), an older gentleman in his 70’s.

After my hang with roommate, this conversation took place (from what I remember):

Me: “I’m sorry I have to change back into my regular clothes”.
Amy: “Then don't. Come up as you are”
Me: “What?”
Amy: “Come up as you are. Tony won’t care”.
Me: “Ok. I’m gonna get my stuff. Will you warn Tony?”
Amy: “Nope”.

Now, I knew I’d come out to Tony sooner or later and I knew as well as Amy did that Tony would not react negatively. I guess I just needed that extra push.

So I go upstairs into the kitchen, which is usually where we hang out together. Only Amy is there. I'm strangely aware of my lipstick and dangly earrings. I sit down in my usual spot.

Tony comes into the room. We say “hi” as usual and he sits at the table. We then had the exact same kind of conversation we have every other time I’ve visited. It was so normal I found myself glancing at Amy as if to ask what was wrong with him. I was totally weirded out by how normal it all was.

Bottom line is Tony didn’t (and doesn’t) care how I was dressed and I can present myself any way I see fit. I have to say I was glad to be able to talk about it. From now on, I’ll present myself en femme every time I visit.

That was not the end of it, though. Two other people (a married couple) I didn’t know called to give an estimate on some work that needed to be done about the house. I introduced myself using my femme name. They went about their business while I kept talking to Tony. When they left, they called me by my Femme name, the first people other than Amy to do so.

So all in all, it was a great weekend. I told my friends I felt like a one-person Pride parade.

In the next actual pride parade, I’ll be out and about en femme. I can’t wait.

Thanks for reading.

[SamanthaToday]

Your explanation of Tony''s reaction made me laff.

We create so much stress about this and then people shock us with there reaction.

[DaisyLawrence]

Great story but the positive reaction of your friends doesn't surprise me one bit. Once people know you they generally don't care about this stuff. The only ones that may have a problem are usually strangers with no pre-existing relationship with you. Thanks for sharing, you may inspre others to be more confident.

[Sashauk]

It sounds like it worked out perfectly for you.

My one big fear is coming out to my family and friends - not knowing how they would react is the reason why I have never done so.

[sometimes_miss]

Sounds like Tony already knew, and Amy KNEW that he knew.

Same with the others.

You might not be as stealthy as you think.

Or, your secret has already been shared around.

Who cares. As long as everyone's okay with it all.

[Valentina_Rossi]

Hi!!

I am super happy for you!!!! That is inspiring. I wish I had the strength to come out.. maybe one day ;)

Love love,
Val

[Beverley Sims]

Similar situation happened for me years ago, I could not get over it.

I could have worn a clown costume and still not got any comment..

[Stacy Darling]

Sounds like it all worked out when not to a plan Sheila!

Tony & Amy on board as your friends, and Mr/s & Mr/s Smith came on board very professionally.

Hopefully things will often be as smooth in the future for you, I wish that for everyone! It is however always good to keep it in the back of your mind that, "Coming out to friends can be so unpredictable!"

Good luck with the next,
Stacy!

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I'm guessing that, one way or another, Tony already knew. Either that or he's Special Forces, trained to withstand interrogation and polygraph tests.

Happy for you either way!

[ClosetED]

Great story - it shows the world (or your part of it) is more accepting than we closeted ones think.
Welcome to the Forum!
Hugs, Ellen

[Allisa]

You just never know. Maybe Tony just doesn't care anymore, at his age nothing is new any more. I'm glad it all went well for you. But as you (or if) come out to others don't be surprised by their reactions, it's kind of a crap shoot.

[RaeK]

Good for you.

[Teresa]

Username ?
May I ask if you have a partner/wife at home , if so does she know about " Amy and Tony " I hope I'm reading it right but are you using Amy's home to change and spend some time with dressed ?

It is good to be able to just be you , being comfortable in yourself . I hope you enjoy your pride parade .

[kimdl93]

That's a great experience "user..." Love your username, btw.

Those who know me are aware that I have been out, then in denial, then closeted, and more recently easing my way back out again. Not too long ago, I had a similar experience. I have a fairly good relationship with a retired Army guy that lives in the same RV park (and had seen me dressed from a distance). He had in the past mentioned this to a mutual friend here. Well, I was out for a twilight walk with my dog just maybe two weeks ago, and happened to see him chatting with a new neighbor. (yes, I was fully dressed). My first inclination was to simply past. Then, I thought, what the heck...he knows, he certainly saw me walk by...why the stupid pretense. So, I strolled back, sat down at the picnic table with them and we had a nice long conversation....none about how I happened to be presenting at that moment. I don't know what it proves, except that people will surprise you.

[Patience]

Username ?
May I ask if you have a partner/wife at home , if so does she know about " Amy and Tony " I hope I'm reading it right but are you using Amy's home to change and spend some time with dressed ?

It is good to be able to just be you , being comfortable in yourself . I hope you enjoy your pride parade .

Thanks, Teresa. I'd rather not go into too much detail regarding my home life, if that’s ok with you. I will say that I have to be a bit more discrete at home, although that may change over time. The existence of Amy and Tony is common knowledge in my household.

And it's not so much that I use Amy's house to dress. She likes to see (and I like to show) my Tina outfits and this is the most practical way to do it.


Hi!!

I am super happy for you!!!! That is inspiring. I wish I had the strength to come out.. maybe one day ;)

Love love,
Val

Thank you, Val. If that’s you in the picture, please let me mention how great you look. So far, I only crossdress from the shoulders down. I can’t really do makeup and the wig I have is atrocious. Amy thinks I don’t need a wig even though I want one.

As far as coming out, all I can advise is that you think of the people that you know will be cool with it and come out to them first. Better build a base of support before tackling the harder ones.

Xox,

Tina

[Valentina_Rossi]

Hi Tina!!!

Thank you for the compliment! That is I in the picture, in a Colombian dress. If you are curious how i look, i will post later today in the Picture section.

It is great that you have a friend/accomplice that allows you to dress, and gives you advice. CDing can be very lonely. Check some of the threads about wigs! There is great advice there, so you do not overpay and get one that flatters and enhances your face.
Finally, thanks for the advice about coming out! And have a fun time at the parade! Post some pictures, if you can.

Love love
Val💋

[Teresa]

UserName,
I'm sure yoiu'll tell us when the time is right , no problem with your decision . It does sound a little confusing without all the facts obviously you have it covered apart from Toni's reaction could have upset the applecart if he didn't take to seeing you dressed .

We do have to play some starnge games at times to achieve some dressing time at least you have some good friends prepared to give you a little space to be you .

[Patience]

Hi Tina!!!

Thank you for the compliment! That is I in the picture, in a Colombian dress. If you are curious how i look, i will post later today in the Picture section.

Love love
Val💋

Thanks, Val.

We have a pictures section? Cool! I'm still finding my way around.

To answer a question that's come up a couple of times, the only way Tony could have already known was if Amy had told him. It's possible that she did, or she may have brought up the subject without mentioning my name. They share a house after all.

Also, it's possible Amy encouraged me to come out to Tony so she wouldn't have to hide it from him anymore. We're all close friends. I used to live with them, remember.

Now they both know, they can talk about it openly. Not that I want to encourage anyone to bandy about a lady's name, but as Oscar Wilde said, the only thing worse than being talked about is NOT being talked about. :cheer:

What I didn't mention is that there are other mutual friends that come to the house that I meet occasionally. This new development means I may be coming out to a lot of folks. I'm going to have fun with this.

Xox,

Tina

[Millisense]

I'm reading this great thread while wearing pajama pants (male) and my favorite comfy black sleep bra. My best friend (female) is dropping by in about 5 minutes. Normally I wouldn't think twice to lose the bra before she comes, but your story is inspiring me to consider leaving it on. Thank you Username for the inspiration!
(I will chicken out I'm sure, at least this time, but just 1 week on this site has shown me different paths I hadn't considered!)