I know why she's so mad... it took me awhile, but i figured it out...

[Ozark]

I know why she's so mad... it took me awhile, but i figured it out.

I'm 69 years old and have been under-dressing and wearing androgynous clothes since before I got married in 1973.

I've done a lot of things when I was younger that i regret now.

In 1988, as my marriage was deteriorating, I did a serious purge... burning all my women's clothes and panties. The next four years were remarkable in that i made tremendous advancements in my career. while my marriage was falling apart. Eventually I crashed and burned.

Now, after vowing never to purge again, I have a closet full of 'mom jeans' and non descript women's clothing and scores of vanity fair gowns, robes and pajamas in a vast assortment of colors and prints. And panties. all categorized by size, brand, cotton or nylon... for whatever reason it calms me down to fold them.

The panties and women's clothes I wear in daily rotation, my wife folds in teh laundry without a sideways glance. But there is always this undercurrent of something... I watch her as she folds my panties. so non chalantly... I wish I could just open up my underwear drawer, and pull out a pair to wear... but I'm not wrapped that way.

So, why is my wife mad?

I've had some health issues the past few years adn this past May, on my birthday to be exact, I was admitted to the hospital with an intestinal bleed, probably caused by xeralto, got seven units of blood... it was touch and go for a while..

Anyhow, she's mad because if I die she's going to have to get rid of all my stuff. And I got a lot of stuff. I keep telling myself I'm going to put it on ebay... but jeez, how long with it take to auction off 20 boxes of panties, all NWT.

She said it overwhelms her and her fear is projected onto me. Makes sense. Ah jeez. I'm sitting here in Vanity Fair red gown and matching robe adn panties.

[DaisyLawrence]

Well I'm sorry but my wife says that if I die the last thing she will be worried about is a load of clothes to get rid of. Let's face it, you won't be needing any clothes of any gender so everything will have to go. Seems a bit strange to get so upset about trivial things like a few boxes of underwear that could just be donated.

[sometimes_miss]

So, why is my wife mad?

<snip>

Anyhow, she's mad because if I die she's going to have to get rid of all my stuff..

Doesn't make sense. Getting rid of stuff is easy. Just toss in big garbage bags and put in trash cans. Done. Something else is getting to her.

Might be like pulling teeth to figure it out, though. Good luck. Only SHE can tell you what she's refusing to tell you.

[Beverley Sims]

I would look further than what you think you consider is a solved problem.

[Di]

I would look further than what you think you consider is a solved problem.
Exactly!

Your wife knows so it’s not like it would be a shock!
I recently lost my sweet Sher and wrote a post about her things.
How about something radical ?
ASK HER !

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I like the whole idea of a Viking funeral, me and all my clothes pushed out to sea in a boat then torched in a halo of fireworks while my friends drink my wine collection. Why not spend some time planning a really fun funeral, culminating in a huge bonfire of the panities?

[Laura912]

Ask her if you could relieve her anxiety by getting some collapsed cardboard boxes and store them at the house. If anything happens, she can use those boxes to haul everything to your equivalent of Goodwill. Just discussing that option may help find an underlying cause for her anger if there is one.

[Teresa]

Ozark,
I'm sorry but I don't understand why anyone wants that many panties, so how many does your wife have by comparison . Maybe she's beginning to think this collection has got to go at some point , just to have them to fold and relieve stress doesn't make sense to her .

I can't think it's worth the effort to try and sell them all on Ebay , either bag them up as a job lot or donate ones that you never wear .

The easiest thing to do is to ask why she's mad , at the moment you're just making assumptions .

[kimdl93]

she's scared about losing you. Getting rid of stuff is nothing.

Of course, in the end, one of you will pass first. Such is life. The best thing is to simply reduce the worries by anticipating any problems and making appropriate arrangements beforehand.

Other than that, take care of yourself and each other the best you can, and enjoy the years ahead.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Ozark;

"She said it overwhelms her and her fear is projected onto me"

your spouse sounds to me like she is similar in age to you, that means it's not only your health, but hers as well that she may be concerned about. Dealing with boxes of clothes and closets may be her way of wnting to talk about something else. It's up to you if you want to find out what.

[Pumped]

My wife's biggest concern its that I will turn gay or just want to dress all the time and she does not want me fully dressed all the time. She has accepted me with women's lingerie and heels which is my largest turn on. I have been told that bras and dresses are forbidden. I do have a few bras stashed, not dresses as I don't like how I look in them anyway. I think she is loosening up on the no bra thing. I came into the bedroom the other day for "play time" and she thought I had a bra on under my shirt, she had a smile when she asked. I may push the issue a bit and see. Once in a while I need to remind her that there is no way I want to dress all the time and try pass, it is not going to happen. I would make on ugly woman!

One other problem she has is one if our friends or someone I work with finding out. I try keep most of my stashed locked away, she has access to the key, but I still tend to leave some items out. We both know to take a quick look around if friends come over. My wife has asked me what if we both die at the same time? I told her that I don't care. I will be dead! After she thought about it, she decided it didn't make and difference then either.

I also think there is more to it than figuring out what to do with the clothing if the OP passed. Garbage or donation is fairly simple. Perhaps she is concerned someone might find out before she could discard the clothing. A locked closet might be the answer.

[Amy Lynn3]

Ozark, allow me to add this to what Laura has already stated. I know The Salvation Army has a pick up service for bulky items. I am sure they would love to have all your cloths. Assure your wife all she need do is call the Salvation Army if you should pass before she does. You may consider calling them now to reassure yourself and your wife that a plan is in place.

[Stephanie47]

Ozark, I had to just chuckle a little about your wife's potential problem. At least you and your wife have some sort of understanding since you are wearing women's clothing somewhat freely. Me? I'm in a DADT marriage. Married for over years to the same woman. She knows I wear women's clothing. She does not want to talk about it. I'm OK with a deep DADT. However, a deep DADT results in a wardrobe kept, not hidden, in over twenty Xerox boxes and then some other boxes here and there. If I were to be diagnosed with a fatal illness I'd probably just start expunging my wardrobe. If I were to be hit by a Mack truck........well that's a different story. I'm sure after the appropriate fare well, then the discovery begins. If she just donated all the items to Goodwill, then it will be a cross dresser heaven or at least for women wearing sizes XL, 16-18.

Yes, she would be overwhelmed. But, it's more than ridding the secret stash. It's still hiding from it. It's still keeping the secret. Maybe some day I will fess up to my wife about the stash, and, let life take its course. For you, I would recommend you and your wife discuss the disposal of your goodies. Do some research as to wear to donate your wardrobe. In my small city and surrounding area there are women's shelter that would gladly accept donations. Many women leave abusive relationships with the clothes on their backs. They would appreciate any gently used clothes, and, especially panties New With Tags.

[docrobbysherry]

I agree with Teresa. This is evidently not about u dressing or your things.:straightface:

Maybe your SO is concerned about your pantie fetish? U seem confused about everything except your pantie fascination! And, do u actually think there's a market for used panties!?:doh:

[Ozark]

Apparently I didn't make my point clear. I don't sell used panties and yes, there is quite the market for them.

I used to sell vintage lingerie on ebay. I don't sell used panties. All of the panties have hang tags. I bought out a lingerie shop that was closing up. (I think the owner liked lingerie also) Ditto for the gowns and robes.

I got in trouble from the moderators on here because I said that I had some items on ebay. I was told this wasn't the place to sell clothing. So I didn't.