Travel & Security Question

[IleneD]

I recently flew en femme, and it was an adventure as usual; perhaps more than necessary.
Because of my point of origin and who was driving me to the airport it was impossible for me to embark from the start en femme. I began my travel day at a small regional airport traveling in Guy Mode.
I had a long layover at the major airport hub, and my plan was to do my changeover from Guy Mode into Ilene there. I knew there was a MAC counter and a fancy nail salon in the airpot where I could be made up.
I underdressed as much as I could, and pack my carry on case with my female clothes accessible on top. Upon landing from my first flight leg I raced to the MAC store in the airport. I explained to the clerk/ tech that I needed a make up job. She figured out on her own WHY I would want a makeover. She was almost funny in how non-plussed she was about the possibility of doing my face. I inquired next if they had a small back room in the store where I might discreetly change into my skirt. The store unfortunately lacked such a space but my tech explained that there was a restroom on the second deck that was located near a small administrative office that was seldom used.

Up a flight of stairs I found the women's restroom (empty) and secured myself in the larger disabled stall. In a matter of a few minutes, that seemed like forever, I donned my skirt, top, wig and put in my forms. No other woman entered the restroom while I was there and I was in and out slickly. Perhaps too slickly.

I scampered back a few doors down to the MAC store before too many people noticed me without makeup. During my quick walk it occurred to me that I might have violated some federal law. First, I was moving about in a highly monitored public space; nearly every inch under surveillance of some kind. I had made it past the security barrier; the regional airport where I entered the travel stream as Guy Me. I came out on the other side of that security barrier in an entirely new identity as Ilene. I changed identities once I got past TSA.

I went on to have a fantastic make over by artist Hallah. Nothing came of my Change Of Identity that I know of. At leas no TSA agents came to check out the large woman in the brown skirt and top. I'll keep the story of my make over and flight for late (just to keep it short). I had a great time flying en femme and made it home safely after a long, long travel.

But I'm curious on the Forum advice. Certainly, and looking back, I might not wish to take such a level of risk again. Changing in what was essentially a public restroom was admittedly "seedy" and not optimal. But I wonder about accidentally having a serious security violation. Your experience and legal interpretation?

292961
In the MAC store after the make over. Fit for travel.

[Teresa]

Ilene,
I'm wondering if you really needed the cloak and dagger stuff ? OK you say you couldn't arrive dressed but the security/TSA have seen it all before , I wonder if you went and told them you were TG and what your travel intentions were they might have even given you an area to dress securely .

I'm not being critical of your actions but we have to ask ourselves what we want from our dressing and should we try and lose the clandestine attitude . This is where I feel our DADT mindset does so much damage , it's very hard to shake off . I know it's why I'm still pushing my outing envelope , OK it has backfired now , my wife has been given some information from a friend , and she's really blown a gasket , she doesn't want to see me or speak to me again . I'm debating whether to tell the whole story or not .

At the end of the day it went well for you , you had a good trip and Ilene now has another notch on her belt .

Just a P.S.
Do you think if your top was tucked neatly inside your skirt it would have raised your waistline and reduced the upper body area . It's why I often wear white or light coloured tops they look make the upper body look smaller , even taking the chance with short sleeves . I know that is a debatable point I have large hands and heavily veined arms but as I keep saying very few of us pass 100% there's always a telltale sign .

I guess my avatar is a good example , the silver blouse was very slimming .

[Leslie Mary S]

Love the story. I am driving more about town dress but I don't know if I have it in me to try a flight.

[DaisyLawrence]

Hi Ilene. I have no formal legal knowledge but I'm pretty sure the 'gender presentation' is irrelevant here. There is no law against changing your clothes in an airport whilst waiting for a flight surely? And at the end of the day, all you did was get changed, you just happened to look very different as a result, so what? Who's to say what any presentation is anyway? If you had a beard and did the same thing no-one would think you were trying to confuse security would they. If you did something wrong, and that's a big if, then that is surely discriminatory. Just my 2 pennies worth :).

[alwayshave]

Ilene, I'll give you points for going into the women's room in male mode. I assume no phone booth was available for your quick change. :)

[Jenny22]

Ilene, a curious question ... was there a seat mate next to you? If yes, man or woman, and did you have a conversation? Did your Cding come into discussion or conversation? There may be an interesting story here. Hugs, my 'bolder' friend.

[IleneD]

Jenny,

The aircraft was packed. Thank God they instituted free mandatory bag check.
I had a window seat and made myself comfortable before the other 2 in the row were seated. The middle seat and my neighbor was a GG of about my same age. Sweet as could be. She told me at length her travel story. She was returning home to north Denver city after visiting her sister on the coast. Like me, she was retired [from a teaching career]. She told me everything.

293010
Seated on the plane

In return I shared that I too was retired. We spoke of the joys of retired life, and yes.... she asked from what profession I retired. I told her a bit about my Navy life, and she shared that she had family who served. I told her about my long drive from Colorado to the coast towing my boat.
We spoke of many things. She was a bit chatty even for an airline seat neighbor. But the one thing that never came up was "it"..... you know, the CD thing. During the course of the trip I found it amusing myself that she would not ask the most obvious question to the 500 lb gorilla on the plane. "Why are you, an obvious grown man, dressed as a woman?" I know that I myself am the sort of tactless soul who would allow such a thing to fall from my lips My neighbor was polite and so sweet, yet engaging. And not a hint of discomfort.

The same thing happened during my van shuttle trip home from the airport. I had no one present who could pick me up and my truck was left on the coast with my boat. I took one of those blue & yellow shared shuttles with 7 other passengers. Nearly everyone in the van was an artist of some sort, and they were headed to some sort of convention and show for professional artists [of all kinds]. Most interesting folk, men but mostly women, and also talkative.
The lady seated next to me was perhaps in her early 30s. She related that she was a mother of a one yr old (Dad home with the kid). She told me about the convention. We talked about the local landscape as the van transited west towards the mountains. I was able to be a geological tour guide for them. We talked of several things during the 30 minute ride.

BUT!.... again; the one subject that never came up was "it"; the obvious question. I would absolutely think that a group dedicated to the arts and free speech would have a grasp of "extreme" forms of personal expression and be itching to ask "Why are you in a skirt and makeup?" As I was reaching the end of a long travel trail and looking a bit worn, I was also looking a lot less femme-like. Alas..... the question never popped, and again everyone was engaging and polite as could be on the drive.
293011
Home at last

[Rogina B]

Perhaps you may realize now "that it really doesn't matter" to most people..

[Sometimes Steffi]

As long as you present your legal ID, TSA doesn't care. I have never "flown pretty", but I did fly with my forms and jewelry in my carry-on. The forms obviously got flagged; I guess they look like C-4 on the X-ray machine. Before I could even ask for a private inspection, the TSA guy asked me if I wanted one. we went to a private room where he did a thorough inspection of my carry-on.
c
I have the same problem flying pretty as you do. I checked out my airport (IAD) and found that they had "family" bathrooms, which I believe can be locked behind you. I would never go into a women's bathroom in boy mode. I don't expect that I'd ever find one empty.

[StaceyJane]

The family bathrooms are a great secret at airports. The first time I flew pretty I searched all of DFW looking for one because I really had to pee. Going through TSA wasn't that hard. I just had to take off my glasses so they could see it was still me.

[Millisense]

Hi Ilene,
TSA makes a point of saying they scan without regard to gender identity, but the way you did it was the 'safest' way to not get flagged for a personal search/pat-down (which is no big deal anyway). You are violating zero laws or breaching any security.

If you ever decide to do the TSA check as Ilene, just be sure to always provide the gender that matches your ID, and if the airport has the full body scanner to tell the agent working the machine that you're male -- it scans differently for a woman and you'd get flagged. You'll probably get flagged anyway for breastforms, etc, but again, it's not a big deal.
That doesn't mean of course you won't get a TSA agent having a bad day messing with you that your ID photo doesn't match the sweetheart in front of them -- they've messed with friends for having very minor spelling issues on tickets, etc. even though they're supposed to forgive those. But adding your birth date and clicking "female" -- both of which get transmitted to TSA when buying the ticket, and then presenting a male ID will get you hassled for sure.

Sounds like it was a fun trip!

[Teresa]

Ilene,
The man thing is trapped in your head , I know it's just tempting to test the water and see what comments they make but we must learn to get over it .

When I took my trip back to my home town to see a film about Monet's life I admit I was nervous , but I didn't need to worry , I sat talking to a couple in the art gallery with a pre-show drink , they just chatted away without hesitation . The two ladies next to me were chattering ten to the dozen and the guy on the other side was either falling asleep or trying to play footsie with me as his knee kept getting closer to mine . I did feel good sitting in the audience without anyone realising I wasn't a woman .

I guess the down side is you had a good time and thanks for telling us but you had to do it alone !

[Beverley Sims]

Ilene,
You took extreme measures and if someone had noticed they may have had concerns, being in the open with it is a lot better and does not raise suspicions to the same degree as you might have if you had been seen to be acting suspiciously.

[Danielle_cder]

Awesome thread! Thanks Ilene!

-d

[Aunt Kelly]

Flying pretty is not a crime, but for me, it's not worth the hassle; that hassle being the extra minutes I'll inevitably spend in the screening process. I resent every minute stolen from me by the theatrical exercise that is airport "security". Why would I subject myself to more of it? Just so that I can be in girl mode as I sit in a cramped seat inside a metal tube for four hours or so? Not worth it. I just pack my girl stuff, carry-on or checked, and hope that the TSA doesn't vandalize it, again.

[Jeri Ann]

Ilene, sweetie, it is too late to warn you but, by now, the surveillance footage has been analyzed and cross-referenced to the preponderance of info the government already has on you and, the guys in the black suits and dark glasses are on their way to get you. Nuclear annihilation has been avoided, the children have been saved so now all resources are focused on you. Probably, as I write this, you are surrounded by guys talking to their wrists ready to move in. Let us know what facility you end up in. LMAO

Btw, on my trip to Guadalajara for my surgery I wasn't so lucky. An achy back necessitated my wearing a back support that made the scanner go nuts. I was passed on to a female TSA agent, thoroughly searched, swabbed, analyzed and scanned again before allowing to continue. It had nothing to do with being trans, just the back support.

[char GG]

I’m curious, you mentioned your seat mate did not address the man in a dress thing. Do you wish she would have? Would you have been offended if she did? I am asking because I travel a lot and if I sat next to a CDer, I would not know if saying something about the MIAD would be appropriate.

Sounds like you went through a lot of cloak and dagger behavior to get on the plane. I am assuming you felt it was worth it.

[Teresa]

Char,
You pose an interesting question , " Do we wish to have the subject brought up ?" Having been much more in that situation people on the whole do not touch on the subject unless we do .

To pose you a question, if you did sit next to a crossdressed passenger would you assume he/she was actually a TS , would you give the benefit of the doubt and not say anything ? I'm beginning to believe this is the case even in my situation .

[Jenny22]

You can initiate the conversation about being a CD at any time, if you wish. I again harken back to my Diva Las Vegas experience. If I sat at a slot machine next to a person, I always asked if my being 'like this' would bother them. The answer was always NO. I encountered one lady several times (we liked the same slots), and we became very friendly. She had many questions about CDing and I answered all quite truthfully. I know that she now has a different, more positive understanding about CDing and why men do it.

[char GG]

Some CDer’s on this site seem offended/disappointed/insulted if the general public can tell that they are really men. That’s why I asked The OP if it would have been appropriate to essentially acknowledge the that she was a man. Would it ruin the illusion you are trying to create? Or are you just happy to be out en fem?

I would still like to know if the OP would have been happy if her seat mate would have asked about CDing or was she satisfied to just to chat socially with the seat mate. Personally, I would have done the same thing the seat mate did and not say anything about the elephant in the room.

My SO doesn’t mind if the public knows he is a man but the OP went through a lot to fly in a skirt.

[confused_cathreen]

That's a very valid question, Char. What is the unwritten rule in these cases? I wonder as well. Naturally, I wouldn't start a sexuality/gender/religion/politics discussion with strangers but of course if it not because I wouldn't be willing to discuss any of these subjects. I just consider them faux pas amongst strangers.

[Meghan4now]

Ilene,

Great story, and well told. My public experience has been similarly successful. I've never run into problems, but then again I've never traveled pretty, and only get out occasionally.

My guess is that in some respects, when no one mentions it, you are left wondering if you were perceived as a man, woman, or trans. Not that you want to be acknowledged as a man while presenting as not.
And yes, it does happen that we occasionally "pass" if you will. More likely, the new assumption is your trans and that is that, and most people don't want to appear awkward or uninformed, so it is safer to not ask

[LeslieSD]

Ilene,

My experience (on that people, especially women would happily chat with you for length) matches what you have almost perfectly. The issue is not addressed may simply be the benefit of doubt or just common courtesy. It is inappropriate to ask people if they are genetic woman or transgendered, because that other people's sexuality is none of their business. But I think the real unusual thing here is that the doubt (or ambiguity) about the sexuality does not bother or offend people as much as we feared. If it bothered them, they would not be happily having a conversation with us. To most people, that is not even an issue of concern. The society is more accepting these days than what our paranoid mind expected.

Leslie

- - - Updated - - -


Ilene,
Just a P.S.
Do you think if your top was tucked neatly inside your skirt it would have raised your waistline and reduced the upper body area . It's why I often wear white or light coloured tops they look make the upper body look smaller , even taking the chance with short sleeves . I know that is a debatable point I have large hands and heavily veined arms but as I keep saying very few of us pass 100% there's always a telltale sign .


Totally agree on tucking the top inside the skirt. :)

[SaraLin]

I would still like to know if the OP would have been happy if her seat mate would have asked about CDing or was she satisfied to just to chat socially with the seat mate.

Char, I'm not the OP, but IF I had been in that situation, I would have been thrilled beyond words that I was 'taken at face value' and treated as the lady I was trying so hard to be. Any mention of my non-femininity would have been -um- let's say 'unpleasant' for me.:weep:

[Stephanie47]

I cannot answer for myself as to whether I would have engaged a cross dresser or a transwoman about her sexuality. Most of the time when flying seatmates just seem to get engrossed into reading, sleeping or using electronic devices. Getting crammed into a row in a cigar tube so close to another human seems to be as much as one can endure for a five to six hour flight.

On the other hand my wife who always sits across the aisle from me seems to engage anyone and everyone is conversation. It's her way. Yak, yak, yak. She the most open person I've ever met. She had the opportunity to travel from Seattle to Tacoma on an intercity bus several years ago, and, said beside a transwoman. She told me all about her trip. She passed on sewing tips and small talk. Not a word was said about her sexuality. Knowing my wife she really does not care who the seatmate is as long as he or she is a pleasant human being.

As to Char's comment I know if I was engaged with anymore while en femme I would be seen as a man in a dress. No disappointment here. I am assuming if some thought I was actually a woman, they'd need new glasses. I have noticed some do seem miffed they have been ID as a male when presenting as a female. I always ascribe to the belief that the eye sees what the mind wants to see. Even in male mode if I see a picture of myself I always see my "faults" or "Shortcomings" than when looking in a mirror.

[Andrea Chenowith]

Not specifically related to this, but when I flew to Denver last month, I was pulled aside for a pat down (flying male) because my back was sweating profusely. It was funny because I'd just been chatting with the TSA screener, and she offered the intel that the millimeter wave scanners are so sensitive that they'll flag shirts that have been recently ironed with too much steam.

[Teresa]

Meghan,
That's the assumption I feel most people would make , that we are TSs for one reason that CDers are usually in the closet , for a person who obviously has started out life as a male but has transitioned to a point where they can comfortably go through the whole travel scenario and deal with the stress of it most people aren't going to question their motives . Again Stephanie mentions the not passing situation but it's irrelevant in public situations like this . If you have the confidence to do it the message is picked up by other people that you are a TS or trans and they will respect you for your bravery and honesty .

SaraLin,
Yes it is wonderful to be in public places , to sit in a bar or o to the cinema and people have seen enough signals to say you are female . I chatted away to the two ladies in the cinema before the performance began I and sincerly think they felt they were chatting to a lady, I spoke in my normal voice but quieter because of the surroundings .