Are you an introvert and a crossdresser?

[Silkydog]

I've came out to my lovely wife 2 years ago. During this time I've been trying to find myself as a person. I've always known I was different with secrets, but never had answers to explain why. Recently I've been struggling, reanaliyzing my purpose. While my wife has been extremely supportive(teenage boys not so much). I just feel lost, empty. Today I came across the term introvert which describes me to a T. Just looking for others with the same experiences and how they adjusted.

Thanks in advance...

[Leslie Mary S]

Introvert? Me? Absolutely.
I learned a few decades ago that I tended to present as an extrovert so that I could hide those areas I did not want discussed. In fact I was and still am very much an introvert (shy). I tend to keep to my self as much as I can. I even tend to avoid my own children, now that my wife (a buffer) passed away in 2000. I tried remarriage, did not last, Have had three short term female friends, but here I am alone again looking for a friend, I have none. I am very lonely.

[Janine cd]

Hi! I too am an introvert. I have never been outgoing and don't communicate well with strangers. I found that focusing on the things I love and the people that my life worth while are sufficient to get me through the dark times in my life. Being able to communicate with other sisters on the forum has kept me balanced and alive.

[mattea]

For a long time I struggled with trying to find my identity and what I decided is that if I was truly going to be happy I was going to have to give up that struggle and just come to terms with who I am at the moment and not dwell as much with the meaning or finding something that completely defines me but focus on what makes me happy and comfortable, along with insuring that I am providing what my family needs from me, and insuring that I love them all first. I have never had a need to be part of a group, or run with a crowd even though from time to time I have had to do so. I am content to be by myself or with that very small group of people that I am committed to (mainly my family). What I have found compelling for me in that regard is that I can put more time into that small number of relationships and I think that we all get more out of it. A lot of the emptiness that I felt as I was struggling with finding my identify before I realized I needed to come to terms with it, was that I wasn't really empty at all, I was just not focused on what was really important to me or my family. Sometimes in our search for answers all we find are more questions. I guess what I came to terms with is that I am not as complicated as i wanted me to be or thought I was. It has really helped me to see so many others that are just like me, I wish I found this forum when I was going through that time because after spending hours reading everyone's story and seeing the discussions here, it has confirmed this for me, and for some reason that brings me great comfort. We are all alright and there is nothing wrong with feeling lost from time to time either.

Good Luck and hope you find what you are looking for!

Mattea

[JenniferR771]

Shy, nerdy, not social. 144 pounds. Dominated by wife. Except for that, I am fine. We make it work.

[Jaylyn]

My wife says I like to visit with a complete stranger and get to know them so I guess I'm not an introvert socially but when I'm dressed it seems I'm more shy and stay dressed only at the house. I've wanted to go out but get shy about getting outed.

[docrobbysherry]

I used to be an extreme introvert, Silky. Until I became "successful" in my 30's and developed self confidence! However, few know that now! Because I didn't like that nervous feeling in groups, I pushed myself to be more social. Working in sales before and after my Army stint helped me learn to talk to people. Even tho it was usually around the same topic. Even now I feel uncomfortable before a large social situation. Even tho I may know many of the folks there!:hugs:

Here's 2 things that help me:

When I'm one on one or in a small group, if I'm intimidated or nervous, I'll ask questions of the person(s). Them talking about themselves helps me relax and do the same!:)

Once I get talking? If I go on too long, I start to bore myself and I think I must be boring my listeners, too. So, I stop and ask their opinion(s) about what I was discussing? I find I can talk comfortably all nite using this technique!:thumbsup:

It works great with dressers because they all have the most amazing stories to tell!:eek:

[SaraLin]

Introverted? Me? Definitely.

In a group of three or more people, I'm the one in the background, saying little, if anything.

I've been to friends' parties, chatted with them, and been asked the next day why I didn't show up. (no alcohol, so can't blame that)
I've sat with friends watching TV when someone turns to me and says "When did you get here?" even though I'd been there for hours.
I've sat in a vehicle with my boss when he asked the only other person in the van where I was.
I've had clerks at fast food places wait on the person ahead of me, skip by me and wait on the person behind me, followed by "OH - I didn't see you!"

I always joked that I should have been a spy. I was already invisible.


When dressed I'm worse. Shrinking Violet would be a show off by comparison.

But I'm getting better... I can even post in here from to time.

[Rayleen]

Ditto Mattea, , I'M the same way too.

[Teresa]

Silkydog,
I'm inclined to agree with Sherry , becoming a self employed photographer in my late twenties made me push myself in all directions , to a point I tried to bury my CDing problems .

I wouldn't have said I was painfully introvert before that , sometimes I feel I did develop a Jekjyl and Hyde syndrome , pushing the extrovert envelope to do my best for my customers sometimes it left me exhausted and very introvert , I tried not to let those moments affect my family too much .

With my CDing situation now I'm out so much I have become comfortably extrovert , it does take a thick skin to do it ( Or in Sherry's case a thick suit , sorry Sherry only joking !) I guess it depends if you are happy in the closet , then being an introvert isn't a problem , if your out then you have to toughen up , otherwise it's never going to happen .

[Donna June]

I like people, get along well with people, even strangers, yet I am somewhat introverted. I watched a video, on youtube recently, "Personality traits of people who like to be alone." Sure fit me.

[DIANEF]

I am naturally a very shy person but not really introverted. Once I get to know people I can be very open with them, though sometimes it does take a while.

[sara66]

I am very much a introvert. Being in outside sale is the only thing that keeps me from becoming a complete hermit. I am non-social not anti-social. I only date 2 women and did not get married until I was 39.

Sara

[Ressie]

As a musician, I was also kind of forced to come out of my shell. Being in a show band traveling the US helped a lot. When I became a solo act (30 years ago) I could get away with being the quiet musician, but people want to be entertained which means personality is important. Then 14 years ago I got into being a wedding DJ. This made it even more important to talk in front of somewhat large groups of people.

So yes, I've always been introverted, but even as a child I loved being on stage in front of an audience getting their attention. I'm rather quiet other than that and have a knack for getting others to do most of the talking.

[Stacy Darling]

I'm one or the other, my liner has special powers which allows me overcome some intro tendencies. ( Seriously, without emoji )

I can also do this WW thing too! but that's later on tonight!
Stacy!

[Queen Bridget]

Very much so.

I love the idea of socialising. But whenever I go out, I just want to go home and be by myself.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

You say you feel lost, empty.

Can you be sure that those feelings are because of, or connected to, crossdressing?

What if they're not? Plenty of non-crossdressers struggle with depression. Perhaps if you preferred baggy jeans and plaid shirts you'd be dealing with those same feelings anyway?

[kimdl93]

Like any other label, the term "introvert" is seldom a perfect fit for anyone's personality. We are all fairly complex. So, naturally I googled the word. Here's an article from Psychology Today, offering 9 indicators that "you might be an introvert" Not surprisingly, some of these fit me pretty well, but others don't. As with my gender identification, it appears that a "fluid-vert"! I think I just invented a new term!

[Alice B]

To those that know me I appear as very much an extrovert, but deep down I am very much the opposite and have been so since I was a child. But I learned that to get ahead in life I have to be open and in peoples faces. I am fine with crowds and being in front of a group and being a leader. But, what I realy want is to be left alone. I love sit back, watching people and hows they act and am very happy being at home by myself dressed. I am becoming more comfortable presenting to my wife, but only because she has become much more accepting of Alice.

[Stephanie47]

I use to be a extrovert. I had tons of friends. I had school friends. I had church friends. I had neighborhood friends. I belonged to a baseball team. Then life was changed post Vietnam. Now it is difficult to maintain or engage in new relationships. Some on this site always suggest "just put it out there." The only problem I have with that concept is the possibility of losing the few friends I may have. It is possible to become more isolated than now.

[JeanTG]

Don't confuse shyness with introversion! An introvert is not necessarily shy. An introvert is someone for whom social interaction sucks energy from them. They leave a party sapped of energy. An extrovert is someone energized by social interaction. I am a classic introvert. I am not shy at parties and interact with others, but after a certain period of time (which gets shorter as I age), I've had enough and must leave, as I get overwhelmed by all the interaction. I do much better with one-on-one social interaction, such as what I did today, lunch with a good friend.

During my career, like many I had to fake extroversion, being a "team player" (when I was really better at solo problem solving), etc. When I finally retired I could at least be myself on that topic. Now I'm trying to be more myself with my gender identity, and have come out to a number of trusted friends, with very positive results.

[alwayshave]

I'm shy not an introvert. I actually like being out and about, I just have problems entering a conversation with someone I don't know.

[Janice An]

All I can say is yes I am.

[Ronnie38]

I am very much an introvert. Had a long life of rejection mixed with social anxiety disorder. I get so nervous in crowds of people i dont know that it actually causes panic attacks. Kinda sucks cause i would love to go out dressed.

[Confucius]

Yes, I am an introvert.
In fact, I am the poster child of introverts. When I was in high school my teacher had me stand in front of the class as he explained what an introvert was to the class.

[Beverley Sims]

Not an introvert but I do have an outgoing personality.

This developed over time, I was a little reserved in my outlook once.

My girlfriends of years ago trained me well.

[Asew]

Total introvert here. Last Halloween I dressed as Dorothy at the mall trick or treat and it was totally out of my element to have so much attention on me. My wife was really surprised I went through with it since she thought I was too shy to do something so bold. I think accepting my crossdressing and starting to be more public about it has been a real push for me.

[Leslie Mary S]

SaraLin I have a song I associate with both dressed or drab comes from "Chicago -the move". Mr. Cellophane. I also have a doctored version (Pitch shifted) where it is sung in a female voice.
Another trick I use is hiding behind my camera.

[StarrOfDelite]

I'm curious and confused, has the word "Introvert" now been co-opted by the phrase "Social Anxiety Disorder," or are the two things different?

[Mary Lawrence]

I'm probably right in the middle of the extro-intro continuum.

[susan54]

I am a solitary extrovert. I get on with people and I project my personality as a male or dressed as Susan. But I like my own time and I take it.

[Midessa sub]

At this point just scared to death just thinking about being dressed in public. I do wear my panties. So baby steps I guess.
Thanks
Sharon

[Tracii G]

I am outgoing but love to be alone at times too. I have lots of friends but I don't hang out with them everyday or take cold showers with them.LOL

[JustineFallow]

'Yes' to both, here!

[Pat]

I'm curious and confused, has the word "Introvert" now been co-opted by the phrase "Social Anxiety Disorder," or are the two things different?

No. Introvert/extrovert just describes what conditions "recharge" you. Introverts aren't automatically shy, they just need to be alone sometimes to recharge. Social Anxiety Disorder is an actual disorder -- that is, something that negatively effects yourself or others. An introvert might avoid the company Christmas party because there are too many strangers there and it's draining to them. A person with SAD won't go buy food because they become anxious at the thought of other people at the grocery store.

[Brandi Christine]

Definitely an introvert here, I always have been very shy. I've never been out dressed up but when I am dressed I get flirty (as much as you can alone) and dance which is very out of character. It is as if I am an actress.

[Micki_Finn]

I’m not an introvert, I just hate people.

[Courtney_29]

another introvert here who is in therapy for social anxiety . but in dress like a lot of people probably, i get some confidence and a little more pep in my step 😁

[mscaseyjane]

I'm pretty neutral on the introvert/extrovert scale. I'm not a huge fan of people in make mode (much like my father). I'm pretty friendly and outgoing when dressed (much like my mother). Interesting how that works.

[VS Fan]

I’m also an introvert - but am extroverted during the day at work, loud, funny, commanding (I’m the boss), etc.

This only makes my introversion worse when I get home since I want to shut down and just zone out. Dressing helps with the escape...

[CONSUELO]

Try taking the Meyers Briggs test on personality as it also refers to introvert and extrovert tendencies. You can find it online very easily.
I have taken it several times and I seem to come out somewhere in the middle of the introvert/extrovert scale
I doubt any correlation with cross dressing though we do seem to like the "shadows"

[Sissy Sandy]

I would say i'm an introvert
I also suffer from depression but wouldn't say the 2 are linked
I'm more outgoing once I get to know someone
but i'm not the best in situations where I have just met someone
I think i would be even more shy if i went out dressed

[stephaniestilley]

I'm pretty introverted but going out in public presenting as a female has really made me more confident. When I acknowledge people when I'm in a dress or skirt, I've found that as long as I'm being myself and being friendly to others, as I always try to be, people are almost always very kind to me. Most of the women I encounter especially have been so nice to me! I was really nervous about going into the women's bathroom for the first time, but when I finally worked up the nerve to do so, I made eye contact with the woman who passed me as I walked in and she gave me the friendliest smile! Little things like that have really helped me be more confident in who I am and while I still have social anxiety sometimes, it's definitely getting better