From the mouth of babes?

[Allisa]

I don't know what to think. I was out today and stopped in a shoe store around 2 pm so the store was empty except for this very young SA. As I entered she asked if I needed help so I told her what I was looking for in general. She led me to the rack and grabbed a pair of shoes with the explanation for her choice as "my mother has these and she loves them". In an instant I was dumbfounded, although I am old enough(even more) to be her mother. On one hand she seen me as a woman with(elderly) tastes,but then there's that age thing. I try to dress my age but as soon as I put on the girls I'm in my middle 40's in my head. The shoes are comfy and I even bought a second pair, it was a BOGO 1/2 off, who could resist? Should I be insulted(deflated ego) or should I take it as a compliment as in I passed being female?

[GeorgeA]

Definitely a compliment.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lisa :hugs:, I would jut Savor the Moment as you just got your dance card punched again,


BOGO is one of my DownFalls. >Orchid..+:daydreaming:+..

[Rogina B]

She didn't say "Grandmother"...lol

[Princess Chantal]

Hmmm well let’s see, let’s say she was 20 years old and perhaps her mother had her while in her early 20’s.... Doesn’t that possibly make her mother in her 40’s at the present? Therefore, you’re presenting somewhat near what you have in mind for yourself as mid 40’s? Her mother could possibly be a grandmother while early or mid 40’s with each of them at giving birth while in their 20’s!

[Asew]

I don't think you should be insulted, she probably based it on your fashion is similar to her mother's.

I went shoe shopping for office friendly shoes earlier tonight. I walked in she asked if I needed any help and I said no thanks and she told me about the bogo 1/2 off promotion. Since I found one pair I liked for the office, I ended up buying a different pair that are probably too tall for the office :) I was in drab though so no mistaking what I was.

The weird part was, as I was leaving, I realized all 3 shoes I got (I got another pair at another store too) would be something my mother would wear. My wife has commented before some of my fashion choices seem like something my mother would wear which is definitely something a 30 something doesn't want to hear. But they are practical :)

[michelle.foster]

Allisa,
Take the compliment. And don't get upset when you get a senior discount without them asking.

[DaisyLawrence]

Well to be honest if the SA is very young as you say then her mother is probably only late 30's or early 40's so she was doing you a favour in realtion to your age. Oh and I resent the implication that the young womans' mum has elderly tastes because I can assure you she will most definitely be younger than me and I am not elderly! :)

[Kiwi Primrose]

What I see is a normal nonjudgemental young person. Obviously she was there to sell shoes and that is what she did.

[Helen_Highwater]

Allisa,

I sometimes socialise with ladies in their 60's + and they dress anything other than dowdy. Old(er) doesn't mean you lose your fashion sense. If anything there's an art to knowing when trying to be fashionable turns into dressing mutton as lamb.

With the current generation anyone over the age of 30 is old so with your SA just accept the recommendation which, let's face it was a good one, and met your needs. So what's not to like?

[Beverley Sims]

Allisa,
Such is life, she had a quick glimpse of you and ascertained you were at least a female.

Now that's a bonus.

Yep! Own it!

[Teresa]

Lisa,
I have that flash from time to time , when I've had some fun with a SA , sometimes it hits me that I'm easily old enough to be her father , in some circumstances almost her grandfather ( OH BOY !! Don't even go there !)

Most of the time it doesn't cross my mind and thankfully it doesn't cross their's . OK some will say they're not bothered as long as they make a sale , personally I feel most are offering more , you can tell the sort that have that mindset . As for choosing styles that are less sexy if you like, well I need flats to wear with my shorts and jeans when I'm in the garden , you can't totter about in heels when mowing the lawn or heaving a wheel barrow round . Some women even young ones just have to accept wearing less feminine shoes , could you be on your feet all day in a hot shop environment and be comfortable in heels , most women would confess they can't .

How many posts do we read that a wife comes home , she gladly slips off her heels , her tights and sometimes even her bra and slips into comfort wear , I'm sure we have to be mad at times to do what we do !!!

[GretchenM]

The age aspect might be considered an insult, but it is sometimes a sign of a "respect your elders" type of thing or just trying to be helpful based on your expression. Remember, what we think we are expressing may not be the age perceived by others. You don't really know if she quickly read you and was respectful or if you were read as female. I have found among the younger people these days, gender variance is not really a big deal and they accept it for what it is usually non-judgmentally. Very different from older people and quite refreshing to see this shift in expectations from stereotypes to actual acceptance and understanding of what is intended by the expression. Even teens seem to be catching on. So, I would take it as a lovely complement and a sign of acceptance that is supportive.

[BillieS]

A compliment, no question!

[Allisa]

Thank-you all for your responses. It's kind of hard to gauge how one is perceived by others when out and about so even a small incident can be difficult to process. Is it personal growth or societal growth or maybe a combo of both. I try my best to be my best but how to know?

[Teresa]

Lisa,
That perception for me went right out the window when I tried on a swimsuit in a Matalan store . The SA said she would stay with me but I had to walk out of the women's changing area to find her in the shop , she was chatting with two other SAs, so I got a thumbs up from 3 young women . To top it all a lady was looking in the mirror as I walked back into the changing area , she was not unattractive slim build but she said to me " I wish I looked like you, with those legs and that figure !" I'm sorry I keep repeating this story but it's still feels mind blowing now when I recall it . I nearly opened my mouth to tell her I'm a sixty plus male TG ! Even I was speechless for a few minutes so what the three SAs really thought I wouldn't like to say .

[Michaelasfun]

I wouldn’t worry about it. 30 is ancient by a young person’s standards. You just can’t win lol

[Stephanie47]

I'd take it as a compliment. You should be able to gauge her intent by voice inflection and/or non verbal communication.

And, when you're doing age calculations remember there can be a good range of ages. My mother-in-law became a grandmother at 40, while our daughter became a mother at 37. Some women have baby in the teens, while others wait until the forties.

[docrobbysherry]

Allisa, I can't answer because u left out the most important part. The style of shoes she showed u!:daydreaming:

If they were granny flats with those unflattering heels under 3"? I would have definitely been offended!:Angry3:

[Amy Lynn3]

Thank her for her help and compliment.

[sometimes_miss]

Lisa,I have that flash from time to time , when I've had some fun with a SA , sometimes it hits me that I'm easily old enough to be her father , in some circumstances almost her grandfather ( OH BOY !! Don't even go there !)

Most of the time it doesn't cross my mind and thankfully it doesn't cross their's . OK some will say they're not bothered as long as they make a sale
Whenever I read about people thinking they passed with a SA in a store, what comes to mind immediately is simply, they're there to sell you stuff, and by making you happy, they increase that possibility greatly. So if you believe you passed, she's done her job well.

wife comes home gladly slips off her heels , her tights and sometimes even her bra and slips into comfort wear , I'm sure we have to be mad at times to do what we do !!!
That's because for us, uncomfortable female clothing IS comfort ware! As long as we feel better IN it, it's comfort wear, whether psychological or physical comfort.

[Rayleen]

Great story Allisa, gives you confidence and ease when you receive a great compliment.

[DIANEF]

I'd take it as a compliment. When I was 20 I thought anyone my age now was ready for the wooden overcoat!

[Teresa]

Lexi,
I have more faith in the honesty of people than that , you can tell when they are purely interested in the sale and an interest that goes beond that , besides I do keep saying that none of us pass 100% .

[Bobbi46]

Go with the flow, definitely a compliment, no two ways about it, enjoy the moment. A shop I go to the sales people there were always very nice and told me if something looked right on me or not, genuine people so when you get a compliment like that savour the moment and store it away as just another feeling good moment.

[Patience]

Lisa,
That perception for me went right out the window when I tried on a swimsuit in a Matalan store . The SA said she would stay with me but I had to walk out of the women's changing area to find her in the shop , she was chatting with two other SAs, so I got a thumbs up from 3 young women . To top it all a lady was looking in the mirror as I walked back into the changing area , she was not unattractive slim build but she said to me " I wish I looked like you, with those legs and that figure !" I'm sorry I keep repeating this story but it's still feels mind blowing now when I recall it . I nearly opened my mouth to tell her I'm a sixty plus male TG ! Even I was speechless for a few minutes so what the three SAs really thought I wouldn't like to say .

I'm glad you did. I may not have seen it otherwise. Good for you on keeping the mystique. I feel that if one gives that away, one becomes a guy in a dress.

Lisa, that was definitely a compliment. You're just gonna have to accept that some people find you motherly. ;)

Xox,

Tina