Growing out my hair presents an interesting dilemma

[Brenda Freeman]

I have grown out my hair which I feel lucky to be able too. I think wigs can make me look younger and look different from my male look with make up. It could be interesting when I go out, though I have never run into anyone I know so far. We will see what happens I like having my own hair.

[AllieSF]

I think I get what you are saying. Having your own long hair makes it easier for others to recognize you when out dressed en femme. One thing is to go from short hair to long and maybe a different color, where in effect you have put on a disguise that helps hide the real male you. I felt that way a few times when my hair grew out. Like you I love it much better than wigs. By that time I was quickly getting to the point where I really did not care who saw me, coming out to everyone a few years later. Enjoy!

[mattea]

Brenda,

You are lucky and I am jealous. I started losing my hair just after puberty struck it seems. Good luck with growing it out. I agree that wigs can change your appearance quite a bit but would give anything to have enough real hair to put it in a pony tail!

Mattea

[Janine cd]

I wish that I could grow out my hair also, but family restraints forbid it from happening.

[Pat]

If you go out in your own hair, yes, people will recognize you pretty much instantly. If that's a problem take the warning. I found it to be a plus because by the time I grew my hair out, I wanted people to recognize me, so it was a total win. ;)

[Beverley Sims]

I wore a Mia Farrow look with my hair when I was twenty two, this lasted for about five years, then when the fashion got longer for men I went another four or five years.

Nowdays my hair looks thin and has no body.

So it's a wig.

[Sashauk]

As others have said, Brenda, you are lucky to have your own hair. I would love to have a thick head of hair again - not fussed about the colour - but just being able to grow it long without a big hole on top would be great.

[Queen Bridget]

I had long hair all thorugh my twenties. But I just got tired of having to maintain it. Wigs are so much easier.

It's a shame because it was nice and thick. I would constantly have women tell me that they were jealous.

[IleneD]

Brenda,

You have touched on a heartbreaking theme for me.

In my misspent youth (I'm 66 so I was a child of the 60s & 70s), I wore my hair long; at least as long as your's in the avatar pic. I also had pierced ears. I loved that hair. It was GREAT hair that made women comment. It was generally sandy brown but was always streaked with color; streaks of dark brown, some blond, some red, a bit of white. Folks would ask it I had it tinted to streaked. I wish I had a photo from way back that would do it justice. AND.... the funny thing about my long hair is that it had almost nothing to do with the cultural "hippy" movement of the time. Quite the contrary in many ways. I pretty much was not cool with the anti-war sentiments, etc. of the time, and was not a big druggie. My desire for long hair was born of my femme side wanting to express herself; a desire I harbored as a child since the 50s long before the Beatles popularized long male hair.

THEN....... the day came. I "grew up". More accurately I made a conscious decision to go straight. I was pursuing a career. I needed to look normal to play the game of the time. I met a great girl after NEVER ever having a steady relationship with a woman. (I thought she might be my salvation at the time.) But I put aside my earrings, long hair, and.... yes, my gender and orientation issues. I can't dismay that decision because I prospered by it in life; BIG TIME. The hair I could keep cut. Over the years, however, I was unable to suppress my gender issues [that I failed to understand as gender dysphoria]. I CUT MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR. It remained that way for almost 40 yrs.

When I retired from the Navy, now much older and whiter and no longer had to abide by uniform regulations, I wanted to grow out my hair . BTW, my strange beautiful hair turned entirely white when I was 30 yrs old, and stayed that way. When I let it grow, however, it was no longer the lush, thick head of hair I once knew and loved. It was thin and wispy and when it got to a length of bottom of my ears it made me look like Riff Raff in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I was crestfallen at how horribly it was growing back. My family made negative comments about it. I relented to the pressure to cut it.
Right now.... this moment, I am attempting to grow out my natural hair once again. If anyone has serious and proven tips on how to thicken and promote hair growth, let me know on this thread. (This is not a new problem here for forum Sisters.) I'm not going to give up until is is shoulder length again. Your short story and photo serve as inspiration and support for my effort.
Thanks, Brenda.

[Pat]

If anyone has serious and proven tips on how to thicken and promote hair growth, let me know on this thread.

Speaking as a moderator, let's not bury hair-growing tips in this thread. Please start a new one in the Clothing, Shopping and Beauty forum.

[Teresa]

Brenda,
This is quiet an involved question, yes you are lucky that your hair will grow enough in the right places to have a femme style. The problem is if you aren't full time , not only that but you still have to lose all the female signs with either the family or work or both . The other problem is as your own hair becomes fuller the wearing of a wig isn't so easy which means you are limlted to a style that your own hair allows , and also there might be limitations to a colour .

If I had totally transitioned I dearly would love to have my own hair and be free to style and colour it as I wish , I accept at my age it isn't going to happen , I also accept I can't comfortably go out without a wig so the only compromise is try and choose a good one that ticks all the right boxes . Hair/wigs are really the make or break for most CDers .

Please let us know what does happen , looking at full time raises these questions, how others deal with them and their experiences is very useful .

I'll add a P.S. and agree with Ilene , I had my own hair almost shoulder length in my youth up until I got married , it was mid brown and wavy , it didn't style well so I'm possibly better off resorting to a wig , is it all to do with false modesty ? Well whatever it enables me to walk out the door with confidence and enjoy the way I dress and look . I guess you could start a thread asking if a wig makes you happy , I would say the majority here would answer yes !

[SamanthaToday]

Brenda I have also grown out my own hair. I definitely am starting to look like my enfem self when in male mode. I get looks I will tell ya.

Teresa. Hair transplants are amazing these days.just takes a few thousand folicles from the sides to do it. Hair that never falls out.

[Teresa]

Samantha,
Sounds expensive but worth a thought . The problem is how well would it style ?
I had this conversation with StephanieSomtimes ( now sadly no longer a member here ) sometime ago , she was trying to grow her hair in a more femme style but she had to admit the style got no better than BOZO the clown's !! It always makes me smile now when I recall the full conversation .

I guess I'll just have to live with a wig , it's surprsing how many people do , my new one cost far more than I expected but you do get what you pay for because it not only styles well but is very light and breathable .

[SamanthaToday]

Teresa, I had mine done. Best decision I ever made. Took 8 months before it really filled in. Now it's been 2 years and it looks just the way it did when I was 20. 😆

[Joyce Swindell]

I too have grown my hair long for me. All of the people I deal with regularly ...most only sees me with a ponytail. So when I go out I curl and style it. Then adding makeup really goes a long way for not being recognized. I expect that if I do happen to see someone I know that wherever we are coupled with whatever is going on that unless they hear me speak or actually look at me carefully then I've no worries. People are generally dealing with their own issues...weather it's shopping, ordering food, driving, chatting with a loved one or most anything....they really don't pay much attention to others unless there is a cause for a more than just a glance.

[anna kate]

My hair is 3 inches below my shoulders. Been growing it for three years now. Keep it in a pony tail unless I'm enfemme. Family and friends have gotten used to it, so very little is said anymore. Feel blessed that at 78 years, I still have a full head of brown hair, with streaks of gray in the temples. It sometimes is a pain to take care of, but most times it's fun. I enjoy not having to wear wigs.

[GracieRose]

I've always had the desire to grow my hair out into a femme style.
In the '70s I let it grow long, as was accepted style for guys my age. I let it be a bit shaggy, rather than styling it as I would have liked, to better 'blend' as a guy. I didn't understand my gender issues other than knowing that I was abnormal, based on society's cues.
I recall at the time seeing a picture of Bruce Jenner with a hair style that appeared like a girl's cut to me and wondering if I could get away with that since he seemed to. It never occurred to me that we had something in common.
As my 30's approached, with a family, and respected position in corporate America, I cut it to a 'respectable' length to conform. Hated to cut it off, but you do what you have to do to keep your family fed.
In the mean time that pesky testosterone has produced a bare spot on the top. If I let it grow out, I would not be able to wear it in a style that I would like. As others my age have mentioned, my current white hair has lost much of the body it had when I was younger. However, most GGs my age do a great job dealing with that, and I'd just accept that as acceptable part of the price of admission to better appearance.
In the mean time, I'll continue to be part time, and don a wig at the times when I get to be me.