Becoming more of a passable female

[Stiletto Gurl]

Everyday I work on something to become more passable I have a goal for myself that this Christmas time, I finally step out in public as Crystal and if not pass, at least blend in. My problem is my build. I am broad and muscular and need to lose about 30-35lbs. Willpower is my nemisis though. Every day starts off good but by evening, I’m not doing so well. Any supportive comments or helpful
Advice is appreciated. Thank you

[Patience]

I am tall and fairly athletic. At first, I thought I'd have to be crossdressed head to toe before I felt Comfortable enough to go out. It didn't happen that way, though. I ended up taking advantage of a pride weekend and went out crossdressed but wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap and was out and about crossdressed to the best of my ability the entire weekend.

The point I'm trying to make is that, depending on where you live, you may not have to wait for "perfection" before venturing out.

More to your point, I too am working on losing weight. Since men and women accumulate fat in different body parts, it's best to start from the most neutral point possible.

My thing is Yoga and I've done it for years, but it seems to have increased in importance since I accepted myself as a CDer last year. CDing has in fact given me an incentive to be more mindful about my health, and that alone is a good thing.

[Queen Bridget]

I can give one little tip that helps a lot with weight loss that people always miss. Drink nothing but water.

No coffee. No booze. No soda. Just water.

Trust me, I weigh 127 Pounds. It's always kept me lean.

[Jenny22]

Try, and stick to, a diet plan that's advertised on TV.

[mattea]

Stilleto Gurl,

I am there with you, however I have been out and have at least blended. If you really look around there are many different shapes and sizes of people and the most important factor I have found is attitude is what helps you pass and blend best. That is as long as you don't have a rip van winkle beard of course. I know many people are comfortable just doing what makes them feel best, I have found it my desire to pass completely and will someday. I am also trying to lose weight too and do the same thing, start out good and then fall off the wagon.

Good luck and let us know what you find that works, I will do the same!

Mattea

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Stiletto Gurl :hugs:, Look around, GGs' come in all sizes & shapes. >Orchid..+:daydreaming:+..

[Beverley Sims]

There are a lot of big framed athletic girls around, maybe you try to emulate them.

You may stand out a little more but more than likely get away with it.

[Judy-Somthing]

One thing I did a few years is to search for photos of woman who look similar to me that looked good for hair and makeup ideas.
Also make sure your hips are the right size in regards to your shoulders. Small hips are a dead giveaway.

[Micki_Finn]

Just a note, losing weight may not give you the “feminine” frame you desire. In fact, losing weight might make your masculine musculature stand out more. Unfortunately many of the hallmarks of a feminine frame are based in the skeletal structure. Padding and clever wardrobe choices will get you 90% of the way.

[Janine cd]

I in a similar situation. I have broad shoulders and a barrel chest and am 6' 1". I have discovered that by wearing long and flowing clothes I can pass marginally.

[Aunt Kelly]

Do what you need to do to feel comfortable, by all means, but don't think that this or that thing will make you "pass". In all likelihood, you won't. You don't need to. If you present appropriately, you will blend, and more importantly people will, by and large, treat you accordingly.

[docrobbysherry]

Stiletto, passing, dressing to blend, and losing weight r 3 very different subjects! I only have experience with the latter.
Because I can't pass and don't care to dress to blend!:sad:

However, I wanted to lose 20+ lbs. about 8 years ago to improve my health and Sherry's figure. I did and it's gone for good!:)

Diet and exersize don't work in the long run. When I wanted to lose weight I quit my gym and substituted a simple crunch and stretching routine every morning.
I gradually changed my diet over a year. Simple changes anyone can do:

Substituted red wine for beer.
Quit adding sugar to my iced tea with lemon.
Eat smaller portions.
Removed some carbs from my diet.
Limit dinners to vegetables, fruit, and lean meat.
Don't eat anything after 8 or 9 PM.

Again, I didn't do these all at once. It took a year to implement them all. I did it and so can u!:thumbsup::)

[Helen_Highwater]

Do what you need to do to feel comfortable, by all means, but don't think that this or that thing will make you "pass". In all likelihood, you won't. You don't need to. If you present appropriately, you will blend, and more importantly people will, by and large, treat you accordingly.

There have been many recent discussions regarding passing Vs blending. Very, and I mean very few of us who go out pass 100% or anything close to that. The rest of us do what Aunt Kelly says and dress to blend.

Hip padding is a great help as it gives a more femme frame and clothes fit better. That said wearing clothing suitable for the time and place, get the walk and other mannerisms sorted and this is just as important, being confident all add up to enabling us to mingle with the muggles.

Skulk, act furtively and people will be far more likely to notice you. First times out it can be difficult to do but tell yourself I'm doing nothing wrong, I've a right to be here, just like everyone else, and you'll be amazed by just how easy it is to hid in a crowd.

So forget passing, aim to blend and like the majority of us who go out you'll have a great time.

[Ressie]

Other than attempting to pass or attempting to blend many CDs find that simply owning it is the way to go. In other words, realize that you don't pass but be confident in your appearance and who you are. With a confident attitude blending isn't even necessary. Easier said than done, I know.

[Angela Marie]

I'm lucky since I have a petite frame for a guy ( 5ft 6-7, 140 pds). That still does not guarantee blending or passing. I've had to practice on my makeup applications; and I am getting better. Also, as another girl pointed out to me, the manner in which you carry yourself makes a huge difference. Projecting an air of confidence goes a long way.

[Queen Bridget]

Also, a quick caution on weight loss.

If you are over 40, the levels of collogen and elastin in your face drop. So losing weight at that age will leave you with a lot of saggy skin and bags on your face.

This can age you a lot and look less "feminine".

[Teresa]

S.G.,
Exercise helped me , I lost 28lbs just by upping my walking rate when I bought a new dog , I can't believe she's now ten ( you can meet Lucy in the picture section ) so she's getting a little slower but then so am I . I don't eat very much sweet items and usually have vegetables or salad on alternate days , I checked my weight this mornig and just tip the scales at 140lbs . I have to say it does feel good to wear most things off the peg , I have a fairly balanced figure all this does help give confidence if you're a CDer , I know some do struggle with their weight and physical size , I understand it can't be easy if you want to be out and about .

Maybe keep taking a few pictures to give you incentive , each week or so you look that bit better , best of luck I hope you reach your goal by Xmas .

[Robin777]

The easiest way to lose weight is exercise, walking is good and cut back the portions on what you eat. My wife has been dropping weight by cutting the amount she eats and gets plenty of exercise between her job and walking the dogs. I stick to part of the regimen, I get plenty of exercise walking the dogs(we have 6 in the house, 4 are ours ,2 fosters) also but sometimes I have a problem with portion control. So for me it is harder to get the weight off. She is 60 and I haven't seen a change in her face because the weight loss has been gradual and has become a modification in her eating behavior. That is the key to keeping it off. I'm trying to cut back but it is just taking me longer. Crash diets do take it off in a short time,but you are more prone to put it all back on.

Set yourself a goal on what you want to look like and stick to it. Wishing you the best so you can get to your goal. Maybe picking a outfit you want to get into and use that as your goal.

[Terrylynn]

Just a note, losing weight may not give you the “feminine” frame you desire. In fact, losing weight might make your masculine musculature stand out more. Unfortunately many of the hallmarks of a feminine frame are based in the skeletal structure. Padding and clever wardrobe choices will get you 90% of the way.

I lost about 30 pounds after moving from a desk job to something much more strenuous. It took about 2 years to lose the weight, which has, without a doubt, greatly enhanced my ability to pass as a man.

[Rayleen]

lost 25 pounds in a year, long term goal is better to maintain the weight, just saying.

Watch portions and quit junk food and exercise is what I did.

[DIANEF]

Being out and about I notice that GGs come in all shapes and sizes, dressing well (including the right padding) and having confidence go a long way towards blending, and 'passing' is an unrealistic goal for the vast majority of us. Weight loss comes easier to some than to others, I have to avoid so many things I like to keep my shape, and it really is sheer willpower that gets me through. Lots of good advice already offered, what I do is buy a nice dress and vow that it will fit me, no matter what. It's a pretty good incentive.

[sometimes_miss]

The dreams we have of passing are almost always just that; dreams (at least for about 99% of us). Just do the best you can, and hope that no one really cares what you're wearing. Passing/blending is in our minds. Not the real world folks who are actually seeing us; there are just too many ways that we give ourselves away; it's impossible to hide them all. Fake hair, (nearly everyone can spot a wig if they look right at the person wearing it); facial brow bar, size of nose, skin on face (men simply don't have the same skin as women, most likely because we just don't take care of our faces); hand size & foot size compared to the rest of our body, shoulders more muscular and wider than hips, less butt/thigh, thicker knees/elbows/wrist bones, gait, or rather interruptions in our worked-for-so-hard girly walk which give away that it's fake, arms swinging wrong, the list just goes on and on. Sure, a few female impersonators do it perfect, but few of us do, simply because it's not a full time behavior. So we slip up whenever we're acting just enough to give ourselves away.

They know what we are. Most just don't care as long as we aren't bothering THEM.

[candice.aihara]

Women, like men, come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some women have an hourglass figure while others are slim and have narrow hips. It's far easier to match a female figure that closely resembles yours. Here's a site that describes a dozen female body shapes, and the clothes that would most flatter a particular shape. https://www.stylecraze.com/articles/different-body-shapes-of-women/