Pursued

[SamanthaToday]

Like all of my sister's I love dressing up and feeling attractive. I got hit on early in my first real outing. I was too nervous to appreciate it or even care at the time.

I joined a local cd forum and it would seem I have attracted a couple of admires.
I never knew how sexy and wanted this simple act would make me feel.

To be told I am gorgeous and and pretty from strangers and the impact on me has surprised me.

This I did not see coming.

I know I should quit coresponding but I am flush from the attention.

Has any one else faced this and what did u do.

[Helen_Highwater]

Samantha,

Not something I've experienced. What I would say, and sorry if this seems like I'm raining on your parade, you need to make sure you stay safe.

Tell people what they want to hear, flatter them, and they'll respond positively. In some cases that's harmless enough. In others it's called grooming.

I'm not saying don't pursue this course of action, just keep a perspective on it and your wits about you. Above all, if it feels wrong in any way, then it is.

[Stacy Darling]

Even though I haven't faced this whilst in full femme mode, I have faced it on most levels between plain male and very femme. I have never liked it one bit, but what can you do if you are just presenting as YOU?

In most cases for me it has been more of a first impression which usually eases or dies down. I personally would keep doing as you are and let any admirer settle down, watching for any stalking signs though. Be who you are!

And don't forget that there will be someone out there which is just genuinely attracted to you!
Stacy!

[Jodie_Lynn]

@SamanthaToday :

I understand the excitement and good feelings that praise and compliments give you. I'm a member of a forum like that too.
I have found, over time, that the admirers, mostly men, will pile on the accolades like 'pretty', gorgeous', 'sexy' especially if they think it will get them a face-to-face meeting. or possibly more ;)

It's kind of funny: many of us are trying to present as female as possible, and these guys treat us like they would any female by trying to seduce our vanity in order to get into our pants! In fact, my daughter laughed at me when I complained about getting unsolicited dicpix, saying "welcome to the world of women dad!"


But I do enjoy the praise, it is a great ego builder. Just take them with a grain of salt.

[karynspanties]

The only thing these "admirers" want is to get in your panties. I know pretty blunt, but that is the plain old truth. Once you meet with them and they get what they want, gone. They are looking to hit it and split.

[phili]

Just remember the morning after. Who is the person and do I want to be seen with them, see them in the grocery store, be haunted by them for ever online, etc. Being objectified sexually is a thrill until someone does something we don't want, and then we realize they aren't actually relating to us but to their idea of a sexual conquest. That might seem ok as a price to pay for the win of feeling desired, but online sites are for people disconnected from the real world, and that means more double life problems, not to mention hi risk trolling behaviors.

It's theoretically possible to find good safe sex online, but it is a low yield proposition! Go to a gay bar instead, and take time to meet people, in your own personal femme expression. Not everyone is attracted to drag, but there are plenty of generous people in that universe, and safe, friendly, respectful sex is a forthright and accepted idea.


As your friend I have 3 pieces of good advice:
1. stay an ice queen if you want to play the online sex game, and make sure you can abandon that email when things get ugly.
2. Acknowledge your sexual fantasies and enjoy them deeply, for what they are! They give us all sorts of stretch, without STDs and misunderstandings and relationships that aren't deep enough to be valuable uses of our relationship seeking time.
3. Look for real people in your surroundings that you like for who they are, and start the process of revealing who you are. Even having a platonic friend who accepts you as femme goes a long long way towards assuaging the need that is not going to be fulfilled by online sex sites.

[char GG]

Just be careful! Predators know exactly what you want to hear and will use it to their advantage.

One of the members of my husband’s social group ended up in a situation that could have been a disaster because he allowed himself to be lured alone into a compromising situation that he wasn’t prepared for. He just thought the predator wanted to view his beauty. The predator had other ideas.

....

So adding a little to this post. The predator came to CD meetings that were held at a Public Center. He came dressed as a man. There were changing rooms there so once in a while he would put on dress but not often.

He would chat up the CDers and mentioned that he liked to build furniture. If a CDer showed interest, he would invite them to see his handiwork. Turns out the “furniture” was bondage stuff the he built for his dungeon and he was trolling for takers. One CDer that went was freaked out.

There was one other incident where a guy on line wanted to meet CDers at the mall. Once there, he would suggest that he take pictures of the CDer (music to many CDer ears), but would have to take them at a hotel or the CDer’s house. There may have been some that liked either one of those guys but the ones I knew declined.

Some CDers may be into these types of encounters and that’s fine. Just know what you are getting into and have an exit plan if things don’t go the way you are hoping. I just know that it doesn’t take a genius to know what many CDers want to hear.

[Tracii G]

Remember your admirers may be having a sexual fantasy.
Its nice to get the attention sure but are you willing to act on their fantasy?
Just remember you are a guy right and you know what most guys want.
Now if you enjoy being with a man sexually enjoy yourself but he may be something totally different and the type of guy you don't want to be around.

[deebra]

And maybe they are legitimate nice men that prefer a cd to a gg. Wouldn't some of us prefer another CD to a GG. GG's can come with a lot of problems and baggage. Maybe you would enjoy being dressed as a woman and meeting a man that was interested in you as a woman/CD. See how it feels to be in a woman's shoes, this might take your womanly feelings to a higher level. You could pick the place to be safe, on your terms. It just might turn out good for both of you and you may never get this opportunity again. All people aren't bad. At least you would find out how it feels as a woman.

[Millisense]

I know I should quit corresponding but I am flush from the attention.

Hi Samantha, Since it appears you're married, I assume you'd only continue as a way of feeding your ego. Being desired is a powerful drug when you first taste it...very powerful. Just consider the stranger's feelings too -- if they're lonely and want to chat, then fine, it's just like coming here in a way. If you think they just want to get in your pants, or want to meet, and you have no desire for either, then, well...remain the gorgeous and pretty woman they've noticed; those qualities are not just skin-deep, they define your actions too.

[Majella St Gerard]

I also appreciate a compliment but remember, men on line chatting with CD's are really after sex for the most part. Men are pigs by the way, present company excluded 😉

[Sometimes Steffi]

Just remember that having unwanted sex is not the worst thing that could happen. You could end up on the next day's police blotter.(Woman found dead in hotel. Autopsy determined woman was really a man.)

And in that case being dead may be the best result. Otherwise, you're outed to everyone by the local paper.

Have fun, but always meet in a public place.

[Pat]

It's a wonderful feeling, to be desired. Men rarely experience it. But you're better off just enjoying the feeling rather than acting on it. Admirers and T-chasers are really only half-night stands. ;)

[Teresa]

Samantha,
OK it can be flattering but if the attention comes from guys online then avoid them not unless you are into that sort of thing .

As for as this forum is concerned one or two have been a little suggestive in PMs , that's easliy dealt with, tell them nicely you're not interested . When someone makes a pass in reality then it is a little different , our social group had a summer BBQ in a members garden , OK I took some wine and maybe that was talking . The host , sitting next to me leant over and said, " It's no good but I've got to tell you but I fancy you !" I politely told him not to be a silly ****** and laughed it off . The member apologised at our next meeting , I said I was very flattered as no one had made a pass at me before but I'm not into guys but no harm was done , you don't get unless you ask !!

[Jodie_Lynn]

It's a wonderful feeling, to be desired. Men rarely experience it. But you're better off just enjoying the feeling rather than acting on it. Admirers and T-chasers are really only half-night stands. ;)

So very spot on Pat! Especially the last part!! If they actually meet you. I've found that most on-line Romeos are more talk than commitment. They seem to enjoy the fantasy of talking to a pretty girl, but that's all it is for them - a fantasy.

[docrobbysherry]

Samantha, I'm unclear from your post if u r referring to meeting men admirers or just corresponding with them? If u get excited chatting with them, by all means keep on having fun!:D

If you're referring to meeting men in person as I have on occasion, it's an entirely different matter! Because while I WAS very flattered by their attention they r men after all! If I had encouraged them and/or accepted drinks from them, eventually they would expect to be repaid! :eek:

I'm not into men. But, maybe u r? If so, just be careful about exploring sex with them!:brolleyes:

[Tracii G]

If you are actually married then what you are doing is wrong but I am sure you know that.
How would you feel if your wife was pretending to be a guy and talking to women and getting excited doing it.
Seems like cheating to me and yes if you are married and cheat online it does not matter which sex you are doing the cheating with.

[Rogina B]

Just remember the morning after. Go to a gay bar instead, and take time to meet people, in your own personal femme expression. Not everyone is attracted to drag, but there are plenty of generous people in that universe, and safe, friendly, respectful sex is a forthright and accepted idea

Things are actually less safe than they were just a couple of years ago ! The "anti AIDs" daily vaccine has resulted in lots of unprotected sex. STD's are on the increase as a result. If you were to act out your fantasy,be aware that you might not be so comfortable the "morning after".

[SamanthaToday]

Thanks everyone, I read every response.

I am married and I showed my wife the emails, so there is no secrets from her.

One of the men wants to meet me at a mall and go shopping, he would be in male mode, that's so not going to happen,lol. I have chatted with him, the conversation started as what we thought of the forum we both are on.

Since then it has become something else, but this is all from him, he seems nice, but I am going to chill the conversation after reading some of your comments.

The other male is sending emails with flattering comments, I haven't responded to him at all, because I don't know where he got my email from.

I have to be honest though, it does give me a thrill.

Thanks Samantha

[Tracii G]

Look way beck when I got more into this and started spreading my wings so to speak I came across the same thing that you are doing right now and I thought whats the harm right?
I met up with a man and his supposed GF and they assumed a 3 some with a little BDSM was going to happen.
This freaked me out because I never mentioned anything sexual ever with him online.
I told them no I am not into that and they began to harass me a few days later online and on the phone.
It got bad enough I had to get the law involved.
So be careful and don't get too close to this man because you really don't know his true intentions.
Don't be stupid like I was please.

[Bobbi46]

I cannot add much to what has already been said other than I would run a mile from a local forum like you mention, there are too many dubious people out there without one or more having access to your private email address. Stick with us girl and forget the rest, much the best and safer option in my opinion.

[Beverley Sims]

The only time being pursued seems safe is.......

If they know who or what you are and the person is known to friends of yours.

That way there is no anonymity and their credentials can be checked.

I would not marry on first sight either.....

[deebra]

Uh Oh....Married....I just changed gears and shifted into reverse. Traci G in Thread # 17 said it for both of us.

[carhill2mn]

Yes, I have had some situations like this. When I became uncomfortable with someone's attention, etc. I would break off the communication or relationship.

[Kandi Robbins]

Be very careful. There are those that like CDs/TGs specifically because of that. There are also those that hate them and could use this to hurt you.

I know you are a big girl, but be careful. The world now requires caution.

That thrill you are feeling may be exactly the weakness they are looking for.

[SometimesDiana]

We do indeed tend to attract admirers and I'm currently writing an article about it. Adult Friend Finder (AFF) is the largest adult dating website and they've published some interesting data about the number of member profiles:

M4T 1,798,732
T4M 50,264

W4T 52843
T4W 31,159

C4T 57,657
T4C 54,312

Here are some take-aways:

1) Male admirers outnumber tgirls by 36 to 1! No wonder we get so many male admirers and chasers.

2) We're also slightly outnumbered by female and couple admirers. Indeed, I find it much easier to meet women when I'm in girl-mode.

3) Never feel ashamed. The data shows that we're in high-demand and short-supply.

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[ellbee]

Diana, do you know how "T" is defined, according to the site?

[SamanthaToday]

ellebe , im guessing M4T.. Means Male for Trans..

T4M.. Trans for Males
W4T .. Women for Trans
T4W.. Trans for Women ... and so on

[ellbee]

I realize that.

But "T" = TG? CD? Only TS? :strugglin

[SamanthaToday]

I realize that.

But "T" = TG? CD? Only TS? :strugglin

Umbrella...

Remember we are talking fractions when it comes to our sister hood.

Asking alo't to break it down further..

Trust me when I say there are males who would rather some of us have that male look and not be entirely passable.

For them if you don't have Male traits whats the point , we might as well be women, which they dont want.

[Alice Torn]

As a married, you better just keep it to online comments. I am single all my life, have met four admirers over the years, very very cautious now, and set boundries, of "no penetration sex, or tongue kissing." I may never meet another one, after the last time, with a guy who was a bit harsh, and disrespectful. Never had penetration sex, though. I think my meeting admirers is behind me now. i would never do it as a married person.