Too much?

[Harriettes]

I think that I may be pushing it. My wife forbids my dressing in anything feminine so I am stealth mode always. (Telling her is NOT an option, sorry.)
I have been buying so much lingerie and too many dresses recently that I have exhausted my secret storage space. Yesterday I asked the woman at the consignment shop if it would be ok to try on a bra, she happily said yes,it fit I went to buy it and that is when I recognized her as a person that lives in our village.
Now I am thinking my CD risk taking is too excessive.
Am I and how do I get myself calmed down?

[Stacy Darling]

I think that at times it can be a little like going down the Pub, Harriette!

We know we'll be pushing it if we order the next round; but that's what we do.
Next thing we know, we're taking just that risk because it's what we want to do!

So, if to you it does seem risky, then it possibly is.
How to calm down? Well, other than stopping?? Thinking of the consequences sometimes works!

Stacy!

[Millisense]

Hi Harriette,
If you mean that you wish to calm down from the shopping encounter, it's possible of course your fellow villager recognized you as well. Do you really think she will care enough or be mean-spirited enough to cause any negative effect on your life? Any indiscretion on her part will ultimately reflect more on her character than yours.

If you mean you wish to calm down your "risk-taking": Does your wife "forbid" you dressing feminine because she had found out once before? I mean you say telling her is NOT an option, so I don't understand why she has this rule if you hadn't been down that road before. That you've bought "so much lingerie and too many dresses recently" tells me CD'ing is not something you're struggling with, so I can't think any risks you're taking doing so is any subconscious rebellion against your wife's inflexibility, or a subconscious thrill. You just need to dress, like all of us.

So what's driving the secrecy and worries that accompany it: are you worried about hurting your wife? Or are you worried about your wife's reaction? Like Stacy said, focusing on the consequences of
the more dominant worry between those might help.

[VS Fan]

Sounds like a case of retail therapy to me - that is, you’re buying too much because you never get a chance to actually dress - I did this for years .... the only solution is to find more time to dress - which sounds difficult in your particular situation....

[Rayleen]

Harrittes

Have you tried sitting down with her and telling your need to dress.

There are always a compromise and make a deal for some time for Harriette.

Rayleen.

[Tracii G]

Common sense would be to stop buying things you have no room for.

[phili]

I am so sympathetic... you are seeking relief for gender identity. And you are well on your way to being outed, so :
"Darling, I feel like I am going crazy- we need to talk. "

That was more or less how I started, and at least it began taking the lid off. Formal recognition of DADT is the most common result, and it works more or less.

You do have to do some self managing, of course, like set some budget and maybe one in one out policy so you always have something new and the things you like best!

Talk out your feelings and desires on the forum. Share pics among this group of friends. It is much better than isolation.

[Stephanie47]

The only way to calm down is to release a lot of the anxiety you're going through with your stealth dressing. You're using retail therapy to get through the rough patches in your marital relationship. Your postings do show an intolerance to dress by your wife. The fact, as stated in a prior post, that your son was a crossdresser and your wife discovered that fact while cleaning out his stuff probably has a bearing on her intolerance. At age 71 I think you're going to suffer more and more if there is at least no alone time to explore your inner feelings. I read you made a promise to never wear women's clothing again which everyone knows that is a promise that should never have been made. You may need to sit down with your wife and talk about your needs and desires. Do you really think she has not seen your stealth dressing? Maybe, you can give up stealth dressing which is probably really irritating for your wife for some alone time?

[hellkat13]

I think that I may be pushing it. My wife forbids my dressing in anything feminine so I am stealth mode always. (Telling her is NOT an option, sorry.)
I have been buying so much lingerie and too many dresses recently that I have exhausted my secret storage space. Yesterday I asked the woman at the consignment shop if it would be ok to try on a bra, she happily said yes,it fit I went to buy it and that is when I recognized her as a person that lives in our village.
Now I am thinking my CD risk taking is too excessive.
Am I and how do I get myself calmed down?

If you feel like telling her is absolutely not an option, consider what will happen if or when she finds your secret storage space? or you accidentally leave something out at some point and she assumes it belongs to another woman? Which will she feel more upset about? I know it is not an easy conversation to have but it will be alot easier if you are honest and she hears it from you other than her finding out some other way.

As for running out of space since you aren't out about it, it may be time to purge some older stuff you no longer care about and donate it somewhere.