Acceptance or pass

[carhill2mn]

Acceptance or pass. These are two important words to anyone who is presenting in their not-assigned-at-birth gender.

When I first started going out in public while presenting as a woman I hoped that I would be accepted without causing any problems. I mostly went
to places that were likely to have people who would not be confrontational. I was never confronted by anyone. Eventually, of course, I wanted to
expand my experiences.

Fortunately, I met a woman who was very active in the LGBT community. She became my mentor as I learned more about how to present myself.
I learned that having a confident attitude and acting as if you belonged wherever you were was important. Likewise, a slight smile works wonders.
I was being accepted wherever I went. I was being told by women and men that I "passed" easily.

I had interacted with many people for short periods of time without any problems. I also had had several longer interactions with many people that
were very satisfying. However, I felt that having longer one-on-one conversations would be further proof that I was passing. I was presented with a
great opportunity for this when I attended a Celebration of Life event for the boyfriend of my woman mentor.

She had been unsure as to how many friends and relatives would attend. I told her that I would be there to lend support. As it happened, there
were many friends and relatives who came. At one point I had a 15-20 minute chat with her aunt. Later, I had at least a 20 minute chat with her
good friend from school days. As we were preparing to leave to go to dinner, this person asked my friend if this Carole was the person with whom
she had done so many things .My friend told her that yes,I was.

This person knew that my friend had many LGBT friends. She said to my friend that Carole is a GG, right? My friend said no, but she will be
delighted to hear that you think that she is! Her response was well, she certainly has the mannerisms and speech patterns down pat! To me,
this was a great compliment and made me feel that I had "passed"!

[Tracii G]

Very inspirational Carole thanks for posting that.
I always have enjoyed your threads and learned so much about how to interact with people when dressed so thank you Carole.

[Jenny22]

What a lovely story! It should help the 'you can do it, too' confidence level of girls wanting to go out.

[Teri Ray]

Great story thanks for sharing

[Lacey CD]

First off Carole, you are a gifted writer. You took a prodigious and contentious subject and narrowed it down with expert focus! Thanks for sharing your experiences, there is a lot of value in what you've written.

[DaisyLawrence]

Well indeed, that's the kind of tale I like to read. :thumbsup:

[kimdl93]

It certainly reaffirms your self image. That's got to be great for your confidence and ability to enjoy the world around you. Thanks for sharing!

[docrobbysherry]

"Passing" is the Golden Fleece for dressers, Carole. U r one lucky trans if u can do it! Especially, consistently. :thumbsup:

I like many of us, I can't pass on a moonless nite during a blackout. But, that's where the, "being accepted", part of your comments may come into play for the rest of us! As long as u don't go out of your way to offend the people u interact with, most SA's and servers will treat u politely even tho they make u as a MIAD. U may consider yourself trans. But, many vanillas will consider u a MIAD! And, the more u do it, the better u get and the easier it gets. :battingeyelashes:

But, don't get cocky or confused. When u pass completely and people treat u like a woman without a second thot? That is entirely different than the PC way you're treated as a trans!:straightface:

[Teresa]

Carole,
It's a lovely story many thanks for passing it on .

I'm sure you find much has to do with confidence in how you look , it gives others confidence in talking to you . If you are an interseting person how you present is sometimes secondary to enjoying a person's company . I'm afraid I do talk too much , whether others think I've lived an interesting life I can't say but certainly I can find many topics to talk about and recall some funny stories . One difference I have noticed is people look at me differently when dressed , they tend to check out my features and makeup more and what I'm wearing whereas in drab they don't. I had to smile when my daughter saw me for the first time she just wouldn't stop looking at my eyes , she's never done that before , when I joked about it she apologised by saying how good my eye makeup was .

[Beverley Sims]

Carole,
A wonderful opportunity for you, it helps reaffirm your status in life.