Womens' intuition, etc.

[Abraxas]

Hi, gals. Just out of curiosity, I was wondering which typically female personality traits you have.
Do you find yourself to be more intuitive than most 'men'? Do you have a better sense of smell, style, etc.?
Which traits do you have that women typically posess, and which mens' traits do you have/ not have?
Which would you like to have?

For instance, I find that I am incredibly dense when it comes to intuition. I get bad feelings occasionally, but I can't tell what people are thinking/ feeling unless it is quite obvious. Like most men, I have a lousy sense of smell. I'm not as observational as many girls are, and can't really picture things in my head. I have a low pain threshhold (menstral cramps--icky!-- cripple me for days) but can hide that fact quite well. I don't cry when I'm hurt. Or in tearjerker movies.

On the other hand, I find myself to be quite emotional when it comes to actual events. If somebody says something that hurts me, or if I'm feeling emotionally drained and then anybody tells me they love me, I bawl like a baby and can't hold it back. I HATE that! I hate to cry, especially in front of people. It makes me feel weak, embarassed, and ashamed.

Of course, it's difficult to compare, as you haven't experienced it both ways, but you can generally have an idea.
So, any thoughts?

[babe4life]

Hi Eddie,

Now this is an interesting thought. Not sure really. I think I am more observant than most, have far greater empathy than most guys, can get *very* emotionally involved, the scent of a rose can have me in ecstasy. A lot more expressive in language and actions than most guys I know.

What I am not good at is picking if two people are playing around, although my one gg friend can. But then, I never, ever look for the bad in people ...

Talking about intuition. I don't know if it is classed the same, but sometimes I get a feeling about needing to do something or about a situation and it often materialises. I get this gut feeling about how to tackle a problem to get the best solution, how to talk to someone to get the best from them or a whole other weird little things (does anyone else experience that?).

Uhm, yes. The thing I would really want is probably a woman's intuition (or more developed, depending on the definitions used).

Cool topic though.

Love,
Vicky

[Abraxas]

Thanks very much :)
I'm quite interested in phsychology and stuff, and just wondered how TGs are different, mentally, from non- TGs.
Gut feelings... I don't really have a lot of those. What usually happens is I'll have a bad feeling, for instance I started off a car trip one night, with my friend. I was going about 90 miles at about 2 in the morning, without telling my parents (Was going across the state line to buy cigarettes). I felt a bit nervous because of this. Once we got there I felt fine. There are usually a lot of animals on this trip (rabbits, cats, racoons, deer, cows, rats, mice, etc.). I told my friend to watch for deer, which I was most concerned about. On the way there I only saw one animal, which was a mouse. I ran over that. Felt awful, and figured that's why I'd been nervous. So I was feeling much less nervous after that. On the way back I smashed into a deer.
So I'll usually have a feeling, then it'll go away, then later something happens.
As for feelings about talking to people, etc., it's nil. I have to really analyse a situation and tackle it in a very logical manner. If I have something important to tell somebody and it is perhaps bad news or emotionally risky for me, my gut reaction is always wrong, so I've abandoned using that. I just churn it over for as long as I possibly can before going for it. Very logical, very tedious, but it protects me emotionally, I think. Defence mechanism.
As for mens' things, I'd like the ability to better hide my emotions, if that wasn't obvious from my previous post.
--Eddie

[babe4life]

I kind of picked up on the fact that you would prefer to hide your feelings more ;).

LOL

I really do believe that the brain is wired differently for TGs. Thus, everything we do is closer to our perceived gender. At least, on average - people are unique (like everyone else)

Love,
Vicky

[Julie]

I think the big difference in showing emotions isn't natural but learned. Boys learn from the earliest age not to cry. They are taught to hold it in until finally they have that so deeply buried they can't access when they really need to. It's unhealthy. So Eddie, I wouldn't be ashamed of your ability to cry. You can always say you're a liberated male.

As for female traits I have - They are pretty subtle. I feel for others. I can read faces and I tend to react to what the other person is showing in their face. It sometimes causes problems as I can't take what they are saying for face value. I attach their emotional state to it whether they like it or not.

I've had people tell me I am a lot like a woman. In fact in a couples session my wife was asked what attracted her to me. She rattled off a number of things and when she was done the counselor said, "Chick qualities. Everything you just said are traits normally associated with women." I thought that interesting.

[Abraxas]

Very interesting. I'd like to study this in depth, about the brain wiring thing.
I do like to feel my emotions, so I can be sure they're still there (I've had times where I couldn't feel emotion at all, and that scared me), I'd just like not to show them. Er, I could act sad but not cry, perhaps?
But gay boys cry more than straight ones, I suppose. Not necessarily more, but more openly perhaps. Dunno.
I'll be interested to see where this topic leads...

[Georgette]

I find that I have an accute sense of smell better than my SO, so would say I am ahead in that dept, also I get quite emotional at family problems andmatters.
I love a good tearjerker movie (pass the kleenex). I to was taught to hold it in as a child especially from the nuns at school, but I always let it all out. Just as an example I was about 9 or 10 when my dog died and the following day we were on a field trip and I started to think about my dog and I started to cry the nun saw me and asked what was erong, and I told her she gave me quite a chewing in front of the whole class I just cried harder.
LOL Georgette

Be who you want to be not what others think you should be

[babe4life]

On that note ... I still get very teary eyed when I think of my first dog. She was so wonderful ...
*sniffles*

Love,
Vicky

[Abraxas]

I'm gonna miss my ol' doggie when he goes... I've had him since I was a wee little boy of 8. He's 10 1/2 now, arthritic, overweight (should weigh about 25, weighs in at a rotund 40), asthmatic, and oh, so sweet. I love him so much...

I found a tiny baby bird once, fallen out of his nest. There were dozens of them scattered around the neighbourhood, nowhere near nests, much too young to fly-- it was a mystery as to what happened to them. but I found this little guy, bought him some powdered baby bird food, put him in a little cage and made a nest for him out of paper towels... I fed him every few hours, mixing the powdered feed with warm water. He was doing so well! He ate lots of food, a half syringe at every feeding, chirped and hopped around, perched on my finger. He was so cute! But, after about three days, his appetite went down. He'd only take a few swallows that morning. I tried to feed him every hour, and by early afternoon he wouldn't eat anything at all. I kept him warm, but he started getting weaker. After a few hours he could hardly stand and kept tipping forward. Soon after, he couldn't stand at all. I took him to my mum and she told me he was going to die. He just lay there in my hand, breathing hard. I wrapped him in a paper towel and took him to the backyard, sitting on the steps. His breathing kept getting more and more shallow, and finally he went into a short spasm and died. I dug a small hole under the tree in the backyard and buried him.
I bawled for hours. I'd only got him three days before, but it hit me so hard...
He was just a damn bird. I'd seen dozens of the little bodies days before. But this little guy... I loved him.
I'm sure it must've been some sort of disease. Birds don't just die by the dozen. Lost cause, but I couldn't just leave him in the yard... Maybe I made him a bit happier in his last few days.

I can't imagine how I'll feel when my baby boy Rusty dies.

[Julie]

This link has some stuff in regard to the brain wiring mentioned in this thread.



http://www.genderpsychology.org/psychology/BSTc.html

Julie J

[babe4life]

Eddie, you virtually have me in tears. Darn you!

*sniffles*

[Julie]

Eddie, I agree with Vicky. I can cope with the violence that goes on and the stupidity of politicians and all the other crap we get but I get really upset when it comes to the illness and demise of poor defencless animals.

It's good that you too show compassion for them also.

Julie J

[windycissy]

I cry like a baby during movies too. You know you're in trouble when you cry during "Ernest Goes to Camp," but I did.

When I was getting my ass kicked during football practice, I used to look over at the girls in their cute skirts and envy them so much! I think the most feminine sense we all have is the sense of touch...the skin is incredibly sensual, and feeling a slip cascade down my back, or my nylons brush together when I cross my legs, always gives me a thrill and makes me feel like one of those girls on the sidelines. Ask Windy (http://snurl.com/askwindy)

[Amelie]

I like getting into cat-fights, scratching and clawing, that is my female trait.

Also I'm dizzy like a broad, a dizzy blonde.

HuH???
OH Yea
Amelie

[carolynhcd]

Abraxas, my dear, I am glad you have brought this subject up I understand why you want to suppress certain emotions, but I encourage you to let them all out when they seek outlet. Your desire to be a man is not the same as a desire to be an asshole. I believe that we are all bi. We form in utero as, first female, and then some of us develop male organs. But we all start out as girls. The brain is bicameral, meaning, literally, two houses. We are socialized into behaving in a way that is thought by society to conform to our nominal gender. Nominal gender means to behave in accordance to the way society thinks people should act depending on what they have between their legs. But since males have already been girls in the womb, they are taught to forget that and to behave differently. There is always a dominant hemisphere of the brain. For men, that is clearly the left hemisphere, which controls the right side of the body. This is where Broca's Area is, the speech center. The right side of the brain is where spatial orientation, music and other facilities thought to be more feminine are located. The right hemisphere of the brain controls the left side of the body. I believe that when we are born we are all the same, but that we are taught to accentuate the abilities of the side of the brain that conforms to our nominal gender and to forfend those traits that belong to the recessive hemisphere. There is a prejudice in language that favors the right and disparages the left. In Latin, the word for "right" is dexter, the root of our word "dexterous," meaning facile, handy. The word for "left" is sinister, with every connotation you are able to apply. We live in a gynophobic culture, and the most heinous crime of all is that a man should seek to become a woman. Your proclivity, while unusual, is by far less outrageous to the staus quo. I commend you for it, but I must say that we all should be striving for balance between our masculine and feminine sides. Given the suppression we all have suffered, it is no surprise that there is an extravagance to the release of pressure when we begin to explore the forbidden half of our brain. We are living in a world where half of our own nature is off-limits to us by edicts formulated by priests, preachers, mullahs, and a host of other anal screechers. I will leave it at this. If you or anyone else has further interest, contact me and I will gladly expound further on this subject. Love, Carolyn

[Abraxas]

Wow. Thanks, gals :)
You've given me quite a lot to think about.
Julie J., Thanks for the link-- I'll check it out when I'm done replying here.
Vicky-- Sorry 'bout that. :(
Carolyn... Wow that was quite comprehensive :)
My desire to suprress... Well, let's not say suppress-- I do understand I need to let it all out. I've always understood that, and wished more people could learn to better express their emotions. I just want to let them out through different means. I want to, instead of expending all my energy through tears, write a song that expresses my feelings. I haven't learned to channel my emotions properly. I've done that with anger-- instead of punching people, I punch walls. I don't hide my anger, and while my behaviour might be destructive, at least I'm not holding anything in. And, I'm composed enough not to punch cement walls or anything that will injure me (anymore).
I just want to write a song when I'm sad. Or maybe a story or poem. I want my emotions to lead to creativity. I feel as if when I'm feeling a certain way I'm wasting my time, and that it's not accomplishing anything. There's no reason for me to feel unless something good comes from it.
I don't ever want to give up my love for beautiful things, children, animals... These things make me so happy. Surrogaste affection, perhaps, that I did not receive as a child. My parents were not able to give me attention or express love when I was very young. My mother does a wonderful job of that now, but my dad is still very compressed. My father (biological) is very loving but I only just met him under a year ago and he lives 2000 miles away.
I love children... Every time I see my young cousins, I just feel so happy. I love to hug them, let them sit on my lap, play with them. I want to teach them things. I want my little cousins to learn everything they can. They don't get love from their parents (these are two different sets of cousins, one frim my mum's side and one from my dad's). When I pay them attention and show them love, they seem so happy. And they return that favour to me, even if it's by begging me to take them to the movies or McDonald's. I've got no problem with paying for them if I've got the money-- even if there's a new guitar I really want or a trip I really need the money for. After all, it's just money and these are my babies.
I want my own kids, and I want to be financially secure enough to indulge, but not spoil them. And I'd be the ultimate one- parent family (even though I do want to get married-- if the father, heaven forbid, is at all neglectful, I can take care of both fronts)!

As for my brain, I think I'm fairly well- balanced. My right brain is dominant, as I'm extremely musical and artsy. But I'm also extremely logical and churn over things for ages, trying to figure out the best course of action for any given situation.

I want to express both sides of my personality, and I feel I do. I'm hoping in the future I can express equally, the way I want to. I want my personality to remain the same as it is now, but I want to be able to channel things properly. Not for a guy or for a girl, but for my own needs.

Thanks so much for all you guys' good advice. Really means a lot to me :)

[Sweet Susan]

I hate to admit this, but i cry at the drop of a hat. I have recently (meaning in the past couple of years) begun crying at sappy commercials. I hate it.

[Abraxas]

Heh. I don't cry that easy.

Only if something real happens. Like I get in a fight with my parents or something. I don't cry in movies. Or songs. In really sad/ intense songs, I get a feeling of euphoria almost. It's amazing to me. No matter how many times I hear a song, it always touches me. Like, Queen's "Who Wants to Live Forever". Actually, dozens of their songs give me those feelings. I love Queen.