Even After All These Years

[Jayne44C]

Haven't posted in quite sometime, just too busy! I'm closeted and DADT is the relationship status. She's known before we got married but, I still get comments or questions as if I came out yesterday.

Summer is my least favorite time of the year, in terms of dressing. Kids out of school, then they're friends are in and out of our house (we have a pool), we entertain at least twice a month, etc...

All that activity is great for everyone else but me. It cuts into "my time" a lot, by over half if I was guessing. So I got an odd question from my wife.

"How do you manage your 'desires'?" she asked. I told I don't or at least very well. "Haven't you noticed how distant I seem or how easily agitated I get?" I replied.

I drift off for hours virtually shopping online, putting together outfits and makeup pallets. I even metally critique the clothes female visitors wear to our parties.

I try not to snap at people but, I do. I become very short tempered and less understanding than usual. I don't enjoy it, I like being laid back and happy!

I just told her this is always part of who I am. If I wake up in the morning, Jayne is there too. The only analogy I could give her was how she felt when she stopped drinking wine during her two pregnancies. She's not an alcoholic by any means but, she did miss it.

That's not a great comparison either. The drinking is something she does and enjoys. I enjoy dressing but, that's the physical part of myself. She's not intricately connected to a few ounces of crushed grapes.

[alwayshave]

Jayne, I have my adult step daughter living in my house. She does not work and seldom goes out. It has been a big cramp on my dressing. So I feel your pain.

[VS Fan]

Definitely feel your pain too... My kids are getting older and my FIL lives with us ...

Only real option is to go rent a night at a local hotel ... or beg your job to send you on a business trip (if applicable)

Or stay up really late “watching tv”... I’ve done that before too.

[BrendaPDX]

There is stress when I want to dress but don't have the opportunity; so sneak off to the garage in early morning, put on bra and panties, and usually a dress, but sometimes a knit top and a skirt and just relax in the garage or go out in to he back yard. I keep a cautious eye out, at least the cats don't mind; and they don't talk either:daydreaming:

[Devi SM]

I completely share your feelings.
My son is in divorce process and sometimes sleep at home sometimes doesn't so we never know when. So wufe doesn't want mw to sleep in my night gows. Sometimes he can shows up during the day so I already limited mt drwssing a lot but I'm in HRT and that gives me a lot of peace and can control of those urgent desires of dress...
So hormomes make miracles...

[Stephanie47]

My wife has summers off from her job. So from mid June to just after Labor Day there is a crossdressing drought. The only activity related to my crossdressing is buying more women's clothing. I also peruse offerings on eBay and elsewhere, and, bang away at the keyboard on this site. I do sleep in panties every night. I've progressed to the point it is fully dressing (bra, panty, slip, hosiery and heels, dress and wig) or nothing. I no longer crawl up the wall if I cannot get a dressing session, but, it would be nice to be able to freely have Stephanie come out and play,

[Yukihime]

While I reserve the full dress up routine for my almost regular once a month outing, I usually can dress up late at night with my breast forms, a cute nightie + panties, wig and stockings almost every night, I'm still limited by lack of sleep, the cost of buying adhesives every month, and whether my air conditioner is working.

There's always a mini drought every few months, whenever I'm short of one of the above and it really eats at me

[MonicaPVD]

Jayne, I have my adult step daughter living in my house. She does not work and seldom goes out. It has been a big cramp on my dressing. So I feel your pain.

Adult step daughter at home who doesn't work? Sounds like you have your hands full. God bless.

[Jaylyn]

I feel the same as most of you have stated when our kids come in during the summer and holidays, best to just roll with it and play with the grandkids. My wife has noticed that I get cranky when I know I'm not going to get to dress for a while.

[Alice B]

For the past year and one half I had become a very angry person, something totally oposite of my basic nature. Some injuries, a severe auto accident, family obligations, travel and theater gave me to time to dress. Every time I thought the time would come but it never did. Finally I decided to do something about it. I started wearing a bra and forms to bed every night. It calmed me down and my wife said nothing. So I added wearing them in the evening and keeping them on in the morning. I felt better and better, became calm and had no negative respose or comments from my wife. I have moved to wearing more make up all day. I will next push the enevlope to clothing choices at home, but no wig. MY wife has become totally accepting. How long this will last?

[Janine cd]

I get to dress up completely about once a month when my wife travels to Chicago to have her hair done. The trip is usually over night, but sometimes involves an extra day to go shopping. That's when Janine has the chance to really express her feminine self.

[IleneD]

When you (and your wife) figure out how you "manage your desire"..... let me know. Please.

[Beverley Sims]

Thankfully these things are past tense for me now, but there was a time when I would have to bite the bullet for a week or two or go to ridiculous lengths just to get dressing time.