Sarah Doepner
07-16-2018, 09:56 AM
A trans-woman friend of mine had a party to celebrate turning 65. Her wife and family are all loving and supportive and because of her positive and fearless nature, she has been well accepted by her community, even though some of them are still struggling with pronouns and the basic nature of her transition. I was honored to get an invitation and was the only other trans person there. Their acceptance of her flowed over on to me and it was as nice a time as I've had in a very long time.
I discovered after several conversations that many of them assumed I was full time, maybe even in transition as well and even surprised one woman who thought my wig was my natural hair. So you can imagine what that did to my confidence. When asked either about myself or her situation I tried the best I could to be factual and it was so much easier since there was no judgment on the other side, just curiosity and a desire to know better how to show their respect.
To be honest the next day at home I cried, partly because I had been treated in such a respectful and normal way that I realized how much of that basic human interaction I've been missing over the last decade. I can't remember the last time I presented as female and got into a long conversation about something as basic as what things are so deep in my sweet tooth that they overcome my self control. Or when a woman told me that after menopause she had started growing hair on her face and had to shave and when I responded "me too" we shared a laugh.
I need to get out more.
I discovered after several conversations that many of them assumed I was full time, maybe even in transition as well and even surprised one woman who thought my wig was my natural hair. So you can imagine what that did to my confidence. When asked either about myself or her situation I tried the best I could to be factual and it was so much easier since there was no judgment on the other side, just curiosity and a desire to know better how to show their respect.
To be honest the next day at home I cried, partly because I had been treated in such a respectful and normal way that I realized how much of that basic human interaction I've been missing over the last decade. I can't remember the last time I presented as female and got into a long conversation about something as basic as what things are so deep in my sweet tooth that they overcome my self control. Or when a woman told me that after menopause she had started growing hair on her face and had to shave and when I responded "me too" we shared a laugh.
I need to get out more.