Confused

[Wiccle]

Hello everyone, hope we are well & enjoying the summer, especially in the UK!

Ok so I've been at a few projects recently & they have succeeded. So I thought: now what? Coming up recently was the local monthly LGBT meet, & given I do not have anything official to show for my CDing when out in public, I wondered if I could go along for advice. However I chickened out on the evening itself & upon later research found that LGBT is not the right group for somebody who can only be CD (can I still call myself "transgender")? Because there's definitely something psychologically, therefore, medically, there as otherwise I would not have had these desires for the past 20 years. Who would be the right group to turn to? Ultinately if there's some form of membership/ID card solution to support myself when out en femme.

Be glad to hear your thoughts/suggestions or any solutions you could recommend.

All the best
Wiccle x

[paulaprimo]

Hi Wiccle, i'm not sure how much advice i can offer but i'm pretty sure that most of us have been confused one time or another.
i would not be concerned with labels because the spectrum for "just" being a CD is very wide. each and every CD is different.
i would just say do whatever feels right for you, that makes you happy and call yourself what you like.
i have found the LGBT community to be very supportive so i would encourage you to go to the monthly meet. especially since
your desires go back 20 years. if you don't find satisfaction there, i suppose you could seek professional help.
i'm sure other members here may be able to suggest other groups.
as far as ID, i've always just used my normal drivers license and have never had a problem.
i do wish you the very best... :)

[Majella St Gerard]

membership/ ID? how bout a secret handshake 😆😆😆😆

[Stacy Darling]

Don't let the diagnosis ruin the party! It's incorrect!

"You are who you are"

The ID you require when out may very well be on the inside?

[Joyce Swindell]

That would be great to have a ID card but I don't know that exists. Here we have a national group called Tri Ess. They used to be strictly​ CD and had chapters set up in many states. I don't know if they were around the world or not .

[wilma]

I have often thought of this very thing. The spectrum is so broad we all wonder where we fit. My Cd is something I do for me, there is a recognizable face in the mirror when I'm dressed. All CDs fall somewhere on the spectrum between male and female as do all people, but that said I think we can agree we MTF CDs fall closer to the female side. Because we identify more female I believe the support we can get from associating with the LGBTQ community would be a benefit. I'm sure I may have just muddied the water a bit more but I hope I helped.

[docrobbysherry]

Unfortunately, in my experience people tend to enjoy the company of people "like them". I occasionally attend local LGTB events. We have a large number of gay/lesbians in our area. But, not so many trans and only a few trans attend these events. I'm told, like myself, few or none come regularly.

I would suggest that trans begin socializing with other trans in your area via an LGBT friendly bar or club. :drink:

[Tracii G]

You are thinking way too much into the whole thing.
Go to the LGBT meeting and see if its right for you. The only way to know is to go and find out.
Don't get all hung up on labels and letters just be yourself and I'll bet you will find people at the meeting just like you.
We have all been where you are right now and we made it just fine.

[Teresa]

Wiccle,
I'm slightly confused because you've been a member here longer than me so you must have read enough threads to answer this question yourself.

OK it's about labels , others don't know what flag you fly under so they're not going to object to you attending the events , it wouldn't have mattered if you had gone in drab for the first time . Some use these events to go a little OTT depite being just a CDer , they are fun and raise awareness to the whole community .

[Ressie]

It's nice to be with other crossdressers the first time dressing in front of others if possible. If there isn't a CD support group available, LGBT events are a good choice. Crossdresser is within the transgender set. So don't let that stop you. You'll find yourself among individuals, and some will be more accepting than others. Just relax, have fun and see how it goes.

[CONSUELO]

Picking up on what the Doc said, it is a pity that we have a tendency to socially atomize. So instead of LGBT being a broad tent for lessians gays, bi's and transgender, groups decide that they only want to be with those who are just like they are. As cross dressers we may not fit easily the current labels but I'm sure we all have a bit of gender disphoria in us and as long as we are well behaved we should fit into the LGBT tent.
That said, although I regard myself as bi- I have been rejected by gay people on several occasions and they have not been pleasant about it either.

[Tracii G]

A lot of decent advice here but if you aren't willing to take that advice don't expect much to change for you.
It takes a leap of faith and just going for it to break the chains you have shackled yourself with.
Is it easy you may ask? No its scary as all get out but how can you move forward if you don't try.
Go to the meeting and don't try to talk yourself out of it.

[Wiccle]

People

Thank you all so much for your responses. I need my PC to respond to you all as a phone screen just couldn't cut it - not even I've got that much patience.

Paula: excellently put - yes I am definitely happy doing what I'm doing. I suppose if it comes to it I can use my bus pass photo & just quietly explain. It never has yet & I'm always extra polite when travelling.

Wilma: yes we're all somewhere along the line, a line probably not many non-trans people are even aware exists, never mind its fine resolution of *nuanceness*.

Docrobby: yes so if I go & enjoy it I can be one of the few CDs who actually attend regularly :).

Tracii: yes I always overthink things!

Teresa: I've hardly been on in recent years to be honest, not for any particular reason though, so did not search te forum to start with. Plus I was at work when I posted (I have my own office it's ok). Not sure I'd go too far dressing-wise for my first trip - it is tempting to do tights/heels though as it would be a safe environment to do so.

Consuelo: hmm yes I do wonder how precise the local group is - it's not a "+" or "Q" group, the phone number cut out as if on autoreject & neither did I get any reply to an email. "Disphoria" is this week's new word.

I'll blatt on as normal then maybe try the Aug meeting. It's been an intense week! I have to say I do tend to notice I get treated better & nicer when dressed... Just avoid the times when there are more kids about. It's all in the logistics.

Lots of love

Wiccle aka Davina aka DDDAAAVVVIIINNNAAA ok that's enough.

[Beverley Sims]

I think you should have dipped your foot in the water and given it a try.

Another lost opportunity?

There's always next time.