What is the same size as lipstick - help please

[Maria_mtf]

As you do when you are in the closet and stupid I had some lipstick posted to work. A female colleague picked up the parcel for me, how nice, and said it feels like lipstick.

So the challenge is what item could this be that feels like lipstick but isn't?

Any suggestions much appreciated. The obvious answer is that it is and its for my wife, but I dont want her mentioning it to my wife in passing.

[Desiree2bababe]

Burt's Bee compound for lip protection in the sun........

[Robertacd]

Either tell her the truth or tell her to mind her own business.

[Pat]

Truth is best, I mean all you have to say is, "yes it is," with no further explanation, but you can claim it's a camera battery if you feel you must.

[MonicaPVD]

Tell her it's a piece of petrified dog shit.

[Maria_mtf]

Thanks everyone for prompt responses.

I love the variety of answers from helpful to just hillarious!

Camera battery is good one.

[Tracii G]

Why don't you just go to the drug store and buy it there?
That way you don't have to involve a co employee or have to lie about it.
Is it possibly that you really want to tell and be "found out" by this woman?

[Beverley Sims]

I always do as Tracii suggests but I like Monica's suggestion.

At least you could put it on a pedestal and tell someone it.s a trophy you won. :-)

Just go out and buy it locally, Boots and CVS sell it by the bucket load to any one.

[Micki_Finn]

Just let it go! If you make an excuse now it’ll be OBVIOUS you’re covering something up

[KymG]

Amazon sell functioning Usb lipstick tubes?

[Robertacd]

I have to agree with Micki here. It's over let it drop unless you are going to tell the truth.

We need to stop the lying, it's insulting to women. Women know what a tube of lipstick looks like. Women know what a bra looks like when they can see the outline through your men's shirt. We are not fooling anyone.

[Teresa]

Maria,
Only you know it's lipstick , she's only guessing ! It could be some special glue for model making , or a pack of refills for a pen . This is the problem , we have to get over this paranoia , if they know nothing of your CDing needs why would they even connect the two ?

I admit I was as bad ! I sent for my satin French Maid outfit with petticoat and pants many years ago . I'd told my postman I needed to get the parcel before my wife because it was a surprise present . Everyday I was ready to pounce on him before he rang the door bell , the morning it came I met him at the bottom of the drive , he held on to it for a while squeezing it saying," it's very soft ! " In my mind he knew exactly what it was inside , as he walked away he said , " I hope she likes it ?" so I replied , " I'm sure someone will !"

[AllieSF]

How about a bullet personal vibrator to replace the one you and your wife wore out?

[KatrinaK]

Tell her it’s eyeshadow primer.

[Majella St Gerard]

I like the mind your own business answer.

[docrobbysherry]

Chapstick-------------:straightface:

[nvlady]

There are pens made out of rifle cartridges. You could get one of those and show it to her.

[Alyssa Lane]

How can they tell, is it a soft sided package?

[CDYoga]

I believe you are over thinking this one, but I would be more worried about your co-worker asking you why you are getting packages delivered to work. You should probably just get a PO Box if you want things delivered to a place that isn't your house... Don't dig yourself a hole here through a web of lies.

[Felicia M]

How about a bullet personal vibrator to replace the one you and your wife wore out?

LMAO :clap:

[carolyn todd]

I would says it's a lip protection for dry lips.
but i do like KimGs one's Amazon sell functioning Usb lipstick tubes? .

Carolyn

[Lana Mae]

The truth or nothing would be best! They do make cigarette lighters shaped like lip stick tubes! Hugs Lana Mae

[Maid_Marion]

A sex toy!

[Tracii G]

Seems the only person worried about what it might appear to be is you.
You are worried that it will tip them off that you crossdress and that they will think you are gay. Thats it isn't it?
Give it up and don't say anything. They don't need to know anyway and probably don't really care what it is.

[Sarah Louise]

It wouldn't be that unusual to buy lipstick as a present for someone so why worry?

[Maria_mtf]

I will try to answer back on a few, cant beleive the response rate. And yes I am paranoid, arent most closet CDs?

Bullet vibrator I thought of this already and would be funny and they wouldnt believe it was that.

Normally by in shop but was trying out bargains from wish.

I agree with not lying, honesty is the best policy. Exception is if you are a closet CD then I lie through my teeth. No need for all the accept yourself comments as I don't.

I'm slightly impressed she guess it was lipstick to be honest, its in soft package.

A few of us are going out friday, her included, if I am simply paranoid she wont even mention it, guess will have to wait and see if she does and what excuse I give. Might just tell her its lipstick because I CD, they wouldnt believe me anyway.

I bet she asks.

[Tracii G]

So I was right you want to be found out by this woman don't you?
Don't let your wife find out.

[GracieRose]

Just drop it. I suspect that you are not going to hear anything more about it.
As far as offering alternative responses (i.e. something other than lipstick), consider if the parcel had a return address with the name of the sender on it. That may have told her more than the size of the package.

[Millisense]

I think you missed the chance to address her comment, coming back later with an explanation seems fishy. You could buy your wife some lipstick too, if you are afraid of your colleague mentioning the lipstick package to your wife in the future.

A few days ago I "Checked out with Paypal" buying a sleep shirt from Woman Within, not realizing that the default shipping address on the Paypal would be used instead of the one I typed in; subsequently the package came to my office where my GF is the receptionist. Her main concern seeing the package was from the plus-sized retailer Woman Within was she thought I thought she was fat lol, no other reason occurred to her. But I was able to honestly tell her I bought that particular item (thank god it wasn't lingerie or shoes) because the woman's version was more comfortable, kept me cooler, and was 1/3 the price of the men's version at their companion men's plus-sized site. The bonus is in speaking further about the comfort and lower cost of women's clothes, she suggested I shop there more for certain things, woohoo.

[alwayshave]

Either tell her to mind her own business or tell her it is a styptic pencil.

[Pumped]

Hemorrhoid ointment!

[Taylor186]

Hemorrhoid ointment!

Or . . . hemorrhoid repellent.

[Tracy Irving]

I bet she asks.

My money is on "She already forgot about it and moved on".

[Patience]

Since your concern is that your wife will find out, the most elegant solution is for you to buy your wife some lipstick. That way, if your co-worker mentions anything, your wife will assume it's the one you gave her and you won't have to get overly defensive at work.

Your wife might even try to talk you into trying the lipstick yourself. Just try not to look too eager. :devil:

Last thing: consider getting a P.O. Box. That way, you can pick up your more sensitive packages at your leisure without any nosy interlopers.

Xox,

Tina V.

[Teresa]

Maria,
Depending what colour it is , I would have some fun and put it in my pocket perhaps put a smeer on , then tell her she was correct and how does she like the colour .

As Tracii says you are itching to come out to her and other people , at some point you have to open that door if you want to move on .

[Georgia_Maine]

I'm surprised that none of the photographers here haven't mentioned a tube style lens brush. They look and work exactly like a lipstick except they have a soft lens brush instead of lip color.

[Leslie Langford]

Tell her that it is a shotgun shell. That should get her to back away...slowly! ;)

[Maria_mtf]

No need for more suggestions it actually states its lipstick on outer package.

For those that said drop it I dont follow? I am not planning to bring it up just want a story in case I am asked. Cant just tell the truth I am in the closet for a reason.

[sometimes_miss]

styptic pencil. 294142

[t-girlxsophie]

Tell her absolutely nothing,its none of their business what the hell it is

[Maria_mtf]

She didnt ask :-)

Thanks for responses everyone, help much appreciated. No more parcels to work ever!

[Pumped]

I will not send anything to work either. We have a shipping and receiving department and they will often open packages before they go to the person that ordered them, so no naughty bits getting shipped to work!

[VAWyman]

Answer "Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies." with a laugh and a smile

[Judy-Somthing]

I bought some shapewear through the mail and the wife got home before me and the padded envelope was sitting on the table.
I immediately went to the cellar looking for something that would feel similar and found a camera bag.

While she was changing in the bedroom I put the camera bag in the envelope and pretended to open it as she came into the room.
I know, sneaking around is not nice. but getting devoiced is much worse.

[VAWyman]

Before your next order go to the local UPS office and register your email or cell phone with them. Have the items shipped to that office and they will hold it for you. There is a $5 charge per item to hold it, but well worth it for the peace of mind you get.

[valerie anne]

You think that's bad.

I had an order clearly labelled "twin electric breast pumps" delivered to next door.

Thank god they are quiet in use, and I hope the neighbours can't hear them, as I pump every day.

[Leslie Langford]

I bought some shapewear through the mail and the wife got home before me and the padded envelope was sitting on the table.
I immediately went to the cellar looking for something that would feel similar and found a camera bag.

While she was changing in the bedroom I put the camera bag in the envelope and pretended to open it as she came into the room.
I know, sneaking around is not nice. but getting devoiced is much worse.

I hope that the word "devoiced" as used in your post here was a typo, and that you really meant to say "divorced".

I agree that being "devoiced" (as in "castrated") is a far harsher punishment for being caught in the act of crossdressing or a related activity than would ordinarily be merited. :eek: ;) :doh:

[Ineke Vashon]

Devoiced, as in "left speechless?"

Ineke

[Angie G]

I have a scrach repare that is made to look like lipstick

- - - Updated - - -

I have a rub on scrach repair for cars that opened look just like a tube of lipstick

[NancyTO]

Tampon :)

[Rachel M]

Spark Plug? Special order for a lawn tool ( mower, weed eater, gas blower)

[BrendaPDX]

Chapstick, battery, or glue stick.

[TaylorNicole]

Car paint chip repair bottle.