Coming out to a spouse

[KhloeCD83]

My wife knows I am bi but doesnt know that I want to fully dress. I have hinted at it and I respect her feelings of taking it slow. I do wear cute/sexy panties and lingerie for her and she likes that (here comes the BUT) but doesnt know how she would feel seeing me fully dressed.

How can I help her with this?

[KatrinaK]

Patience. And being willing to respect that she may never get there. You’re in a much better position than most already. Don’t forget that.

[Nikki A.]

How long have you been married? You've already done the lingerie and panties, maybe try suggesting a little dressing up a little more and see her reaction.

[Tracy Irving]

You could try going clothes shopping with her. Point out some items you think she would look go wearing. If she doesn't think so, ask her how it would look on you.

It is amazing that your wife is more comfortable with you being bi than wearing a blouse.

[Stephanie47]

Your wife may view panties and lingerie fall into the realm of 'kinky sex.' That would be totally different than appearing totally as a woman. If your patience runs out perhaps you could convince her wearing women's clothing would be a great Halloween costume. You may want to clarify for the readers whether you are a practicing bi or not.

[Teri Ray]

Sounds like you and your wife have a great relationship. Being honest and talking things out could be your best path. I was not initially open and honest and it became an issue for my wife. No right answer for everyone. Best wishes for you and your wife.

[alwayshave]

Khloe, you could feel her out about crossdressing in others to gauge her acceptance.

[Judy-Somthing]

Get dressed for Halloween.

I did five times and when I tried to make whoopee with her while still dressed when we got home she said it was a big turnoff.
When she realized how much I liked it, it really bothered her and still does to this day.

I can't figure her out, last week while at the mall I started to walk into a dress store and she said "Where are you going?"
I said "Dress Shopping" she laughed and said "I don't think so".

[Trione]

Someday when she is getting dressed and has a nice skirt, just say I bet that would look good even on me and judge her reaction.

[CDYoga]

It can never hurt to ask, but I really like the Halloween idea. If she isn't cool with the Halloween dress up, I don't think she will be ok with it period... Just my opinion though.

[Kimberly Adams]

I'm in the process of going through this with my wife. I don't dress a lot - maybe a couple of times a year but would enjoy doing it more and with her approval so I just came out and told her about a month ago that I like to crossdress. I'm totally straight and got the expected questions about being gay. We've done a lot of talking and reading online about crossdressing and I have been super lucky my wife is really supportive and willing to explore with me. If she was totally against it and turned off I'd respect that and not do it anymore. I guess that's a chance I was willing to take and fortunately is going way better than I ever imagined. At the advice of others here I've been taking things really slow. Trying on panties and shoes for her is about all we've done. Will slowly progress further over time and see how it goes. Best wishes.

Kimberly

[Julie MA]

I'm with Teri. Be honest as soon as possible.

[ms.joann]

It's a careful situation....I relate it to being with someone you love and beginning a bad habit. (or whatever). Twenty two years with the same GG, it took all of about 2/3's of the time for her to see what I was doing....but it was fed to her in "easy-chewable-pieces". She has seen my bras, undies and certain tops, shorts, etc....but probably wrote it off as me just being unpredictable and colorful. Note...this situation may not work for everyone of you. Since her passing a few months ago, I have buying new clothes and all, and going out enfemme with my natural long hair...been getting hit on by men and GG's can always spot a faker. Remember girls, light and easy works. I still love the genetic ladies but don't dump yourself out to a potentially new female partner.

[sarah_hillcrest]

To me its very interesting that she knows and accepts you as bi, I have to think that many women might find that a bigger issue than the dressing. I agree with everyone about being slow, respectful and honest. Has she seen pictures? I think once my wife started seeing my pictures she was really surprised that I wasn't making a complete fool of myself, but she still doesn't want to see me dressed or spend time with me dressed much to my dismay, and I don't forsee that changing.

[Cheshire girl]

Best to be honest.

[Vicky_Scot]

I totally agree with your opening sentence Sarah. I find it totally bizarre that she would be accepting of her hubby being bi but cross-dressing, how dare he.

[Ronnie38]

I kind of disagree. Being bisexal and married, my wife dosnt have to worry as i am commited to my marriage and not seeking it. Crossdressing however is something i actively seek and do so she is subjected to it.
I hope that makes sense.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Khloe :hugs:, First thing to do is read line #4 in my Signature !! >Orchid ..O:daydreaming:O..

[JustAlex]

Someday when she is getting dressed and has a nice skirt, just say I bet that would look good even on me and judge her reaction.
I wouldn't go that way... maybe "I wish I could look as good as you in that skirt."
Women hate when they see others looking better than them wearing the same stuff. My wife got upset once when she saw me wearing one of her skirts because it looked a lot better on me. And she gave it to me because she didn't like the way it looked on her!! It wasn't made for her hip shape...

[Solange]

Hi Khloe,

There's a great show playing at the Guthrie right now. Very on topic, and a great conversation starter.

Solange