Simple Question! Do you Love to Cross-dressing or feel it's an affliction?

[Judy-Somthing]

Question; Do You Love To Cross-Dress or feel it's an affliction?

Pros and cons.

I am so addicted to dressing, I love dressing fully and shopping for dresses.

I hate when I feel shame.

I feel sad that my wife thinks dressing is all messed up!

[KatrinaK]

It’s neither. It’s part of who I am that I’ve learned to accept..

[sarah_hillcrest]

Right now I love it. It's infiltrated my brain LOL. I don't feel shame from it, because from my current point of view I'm not doing anything shameful. I know eventually my brain will swtich gears and I'll see it in a different light.

[Alice Torn]

To be rigorously honest, for me it has been an affliction, and i wish i had not been born with it, or wish i had never been born, period, because of it, and other very life and death mental health issues i have, and toxic, bullying family i came from. My dad had no business getting married, and my mom married him, because she felt sorry for him! My dad never wanted sons, and got a severely handicapped daughter who hates men, and three sons after that. One older brother is in prison yet. Criminal minds. i was bullied and picked on all my school years, and at home. Then at age 13, sneaked into my sister and mom's things. Was sexual for the first time, then. Quit out of shame, then was in the service, then occasionally bought hose thru the mail. At age 50, really got into dressing full bore, but it is against the religion i was called into in 1980. I have paranoia, some schizo, and depression and bi polar. Dressing made me feel like the tall, gorgeous women i adored, but could never have. Only short fat girls liked me. I have dated in my 30's and a little in my 40's, but nothing much a all since. Women were very turned off by finding i dressed. It has isolated me even more than i was, and that is not good. Guilt and shame stalk me, so i seldom dress now, but when i do , it is too look classy and sexy. I need to be more social and out of myself, and have more confidence as a man . It would have been nice to never have this additional luggage to bear.

[Cassandra Lynn]

Nope, not at all...…….

af·flic·tion
[əˈflikSH(ə)n]

NOUN
something that causes pain or suffering.
"a crippling affliction of the nervous system"
synonyms: disorder · disease · malady · complaint · ailment · illness · indisposition · scourge · plague · trouble · menace · evil · visitation

To pick a couple of words out of those synonyms: Yes, there was much of my life I can complain about, and I wish I could do over because my gender variance caused trouble. Acceptance of it has allowed me to see it much differently though.

All the bad stuff, the shame, guilt and anguish, was an unfortunate step in the journey. I'm cured of all that if I continue to live in acceptance and live as closely to my authentic self as I can.

Cass

[sarah_hillcrest]

Alice to me it sounds like dressing is the least of your problems. Whats wrong with short fat girls? Anyway, lots of people have all these problems, and instead of cross dressing they have some other obsession. As far as the religion you were called into in the 1980... Look what the silent majority bought with their morality. I certainly don't need their hypocrisy and neither do you.

[Janine cd]

I agree with Katrina. Dressing is just part of me. I can't deny it and I'm faced to live with it for the rest of my life.

[Desiree2bababe]

Good question...........I at times feel as if it's an affliction but as I age I have grown into the attitude it's just who I am..........for me it's a constant struggle as I like the MAN I am but also love the woman I can be.....if that makes any sense...........

[Rachael Leigh]

Judy in a word, yes I’ve come to believe it is somewhat of an affliction. The issue we all have as crossdressers or trans folks
is what do we do with it. Do we choose to live with it try to find a way to manage it, say through HRT and other such things
or do we simply find a way to let it not rule our lives. It’s most difficult in whatever we choose in this life of ours and as I tell
people I would not wish being trans on my worst enemy. I do yes believe you are born this way our choice as in anything in
life is what do we do with it then

[Tracy Irving]

I do love to crossdress. Can't see why I would do it if I didn't.

[KatrinaK]

The only affliction is the anxiety that comes from not accepting yourself.

[docrobbysherry]

It took me over 12 years to get over the guilt.:doh:

But, what a wild ride the last 8 have been for Sherry and I!:devil:

[redtea]

It's both for me, After all it is a Guilty pleasure.
Like a German Shepard digging into the trash while the family is away, it feels so good to be bad.

But if i had to choose, I'd say I love it more than think it's an affliction. I only think it's an affliction because of my perceptions of how girls will think of it in the hypothetical situation that I'm dating someone.
My personal belief is that it's just clothes and people put too much meaning behind things, myself included.
The moment i escape this belief of "CDing means i'm damaged, gay, gross, disgusting" I will be free.

I always wondered what life would be like if i had friends who knew me 100%, that there wasn't a single detail that i could think up that they wouldn't know.

[Kiwi Primrose]

It's not an affliction for me. It is a part of my life.

[susan54]

I love crossdressing and enjoy every aspect of it. Though I am not 'out' due to priorities in my life (I want to be recognised for other stuff), I am not remotely ashamed of it. I do not with I wasn't a crossdresser but occasionally wish I had not spent so much on dresses.

[alwayshave]

Judy, I don't feel it's an affliction. Perhaps as a younger person when I did not understand and accept myself I saw it that way. But being older, not caring what others think, and having an accepting wife just has me accepting crossdressing.

[Teresa]

Judy,
I love what crossdressing give me , it satifies that inner need , the clothes are the outward sign to the World how I truly feel inside . The feeling of an affliction came and went years ago , I guess when I nearly ended my life through it , I do recall going through a period of asking why me and hoping it would go away , that was mostly about fear of acceptance from others . Fully accepting yourself makes that fear ebb away , it's their problem not yours !

I believe your addiction is because you can't achieve a balance , you have to fight for your freedom to express yourself ! When you get those precious moments to do it you want it all knowing you can't because within a few short hours it all goes back into it's hiding place and Judy ceases to exist again. I have a balance now because Teresa is out in the open , I can freely chose when and how much I dress . If I have a function coming up or there's a change in the weather well I just jump in the car and buy what I need , knowing I can come back home and hang it in my wardrobe without worrying about anyone seeing it . Maybe shopping can become the addiction because being dressed as a woman gives us so many choices , it is wonderful just to be able to go out and integrate into society, again that can be addictive but comes with a sting in the tail because we don't know how far that need will take us .

[Veronica Lacey]

I love to crossdress largely as a hobby; clothes and shoes, forms, some jewellery. It is comfort and joy more than an affliction although I do still feel guilt for it. My wife knows of my hobby, accepts that I enjoy it but takes no part. She does not make me feel bad for it at all but wishes neither to see it nor help with it.

This arrangement is quite good overall, of course, but the yearning for her to simply allow me to dress in her prescence sometimes is part of the feelings of affliction.

[Rachel Lea]

It is a "affection" based on society. And redtea said 'it's just clothes", but do girls think that it is just clothes, I believe not. And if it is just clothes, how come they are sooooo important and special to all of us? We do not fit in society, I have even heard gay individual's having a distasteful attitudes for crossdressers, how ironic is that? (Sorry, maybe a little off subject)

[Brandi Christine]

I always loved the way it makes me feel, I got over the guilt of dressing a few years ago, the only guilt left is what it could do to the people I love.

[Tracii G]

Some of my gay friends think CDing is silly and down right dumb.
I explain the trans thing and they just don't get it and think I'm a little odd.
I have no shame or guilt about dressing its just how I balance my internal and external me.

[Teresa]

Rachel,
You are so right , if it was just wearing the clothes I wouldn't be doing it and it's far removed from calling it a hobby , I'm afraid I've not separated from my wife after 44 years over a hobby , I could never insult her with that excuse .

[Nic J]

A few years back when i began CDing i was very ashamed by my secret, even tho i enjoyed dressing, so it could have been considered an affliction.
However since i came out to my wife and she has gradually gone from uncertain to supportive it has been amazing to express myself in a whole different way. (at home anyway)
Now i love being a CDer. :c9:

[SaraLin]

For me, the affliction is my anatomy, not my wardrobe. Somehow, when it came my turn to get born, I got assigned a body of the wrong gender. <oops?>

Yes, I love to dress feminine. But wearing something feminine is more of an effort to feel a little bit like who I'm supposed to be, instead of who I actually am.

For numerous reasons, I can't 'switch sides' - but dipping my toes in the pool from time to time keeps me from suffocating.

[LaurenS]

The only affliction is the anxiety that comes from not accepting yourself.
Well said.

[Queen Bridget]

I love it.

But I'm constantly asking myself why. Even though it doesn't really matter.

[biancabellelover]

I love Crossdressing! I started less than two years ago and don’t feel bad about it at all!

Michelle.

[Solange]

How could I call joy and freedom an affliction?

[kimdl93]

thats a tough question. I vacillate among ways of viewing my behavior. At times, I think of it as an addictive disorder, perhaps the product of a traumatic early childhood experience. At other times I see as something like autogynephilia...basically a substitute for a feminine companion, or when I was married a desire to be a female companion to my wife. And at times, I try to view myself as less pathological...simply variant among a great diversity of gender identities.

[Stephanie47]

Ah, the use of one word to define such a complicated subject. "Love?" "Affliction?" I will say my life would have been less complicated if I was not a man who wears women's clothing. In the early years wearing women's clothing brought much turmoil; shame, self loathing. How was a teenage boy suppose to reconcile his raging hormone induced love of women with the fact his also felt compelled to wear women's clothing? Society in the 1950's and 1960's painted with a broad brush. Men who wore women's clothing were deemed to be homosexuals. Gay was not used yet. Derogatory terms defined you. How could this be? Much self loathing. Much shame. Yes, wearing women's clothing back then was an 'affliction.'

Now, decades later there is self acceptance. No more shame. No more self hatred. Yet, life would be a lot simpler if I did not have this desire to wear women's clothing. My wife is not accepting of this desire. Unlike Judy's wife, she does not rail against this desire. She simply states she wanted to marry a man, the man I presented to her during our courtship and still do. If she wanted to be with a woman, she would have been with a woman and not a guy who wears women's clothing.

Do I love to wear women's clothing? No! It's something I do because it is in me. In my DNA. I've given up trying to figure it all out. A counselor I see for war related issues holds to the premise that each man and woman has some DNA of the opposite sex within him or her. In some it is stronger than others. That seems like an acceptable premise. "Born to be wild."

Yes, I am drawn to certain styles and colors and fabrics of women's clothing. But, that is no different than being drawn to certain clothes I wear in my male life. I don't "love" cross dressing. It's part of me, whether society accepts it or not, I have to deal with it.

[CynthiaD]

I love being a woman and expressing my femininity with my clothing. I think that having male body parts is a little odd, but hardly an affliction.

[Alice B]

I love cross dressing, even in limited amounts. I have been in a bra and forms for over 4 days, 7/24 and my wife just ignores it. But, I feel good

[Alice Torn]

sarah, I am six foot six. That is why i do not want a short fat lady. I have had short fat women friends often, though. Just my personal choice, i would want a taller woman ,like me.

[Felicia M]

Love.

And it is an incredible journey to acceptance. Sometimes fun and sometimes extremely painful. There are moments still when I hear myself saying “I wish this had never entered my life. Why is this my path?”

But I catch myself. The waves come and go but the flow is always in one direction and I realize this is a journey. Sometimes messy. Sometimes a little insane but in the end a beautiful experience.

[Phoebe Reece]

I do not see it as an affliction at all. Crossdressing is a part of me. I would not be the person I am today if I didn't do it at all. I think it keeps my masculine and feminine traits in balance. I have many good friends now that I would likely never have even met if not for crossdressing. Besides all that, it is a lot of fun for me. Maybe I'll think about quitting it when it stops being fun. Maybe.....

[LydiaL]

Absolutely love to crossdress. Not an affliction, certainly a passion. Not going away for me.

[Tracii G]

Its only an affliction if you let it be one.
If you have guilt or shame and can't deal with it then I could see you thinking that.

[suzanne]

I first discovered my mothers closet while in my teens. This was the 1970's and where I lived, it was the biggest taboo of all for a boy to show the slightest hint of femininity. My fathers attitude was that such people deserved to be killed. So I was horrified and disgusted by my newfound interest, and terrified at the prospect of being found out. This was compounded by the fact that I couldn't stop myself from returning to her closet every time I was left alone in the house. I definitely felt this was an affliction that I wanted to stop and that nobody, not even a significant other, would accept or understand.

It took a long time, but now I feel my gender expression is a gift. I am a Two Spirit, and am at my best when both sides are equal partners in my life. Nowadays, I am happiest in a skirt, because female clothes are more varied and fun, and because my femme side had to spend so much of my early life in hiding, she gets the nod whenever I have a choice in how to dress.

[Elizabeth G]

At some point long ago I might have answered affliction but certainly not now. I absolutely love it.

[JeanTG]

Affliction.

It becomes an obsession (for me at least), and being obsessed is the very antithesis of freedom. You become enslaved to it. When the pink fog rolls in, I can hardly think of anything else. I'd love to be free of this for good. It's also been hell on my marriage.

[Teri Ray]

I do not choose to give a name to why I crossdress. I have struggled to understand what the attraction to dressing and acting enfemme is for me. I finely found peace in accepting the fact that the "why" I have this desire is no longer an issue. I accept it as it is. I do enjoy the feeling of being enfemme and I do not have a desire to be enfemme 100% of my life. When my wife and I had the "talk" and she became willing to accept this behavior as part of me; life became so much better. I love that my wife can accept that her man is sometimes in makeup and dresses. It is a balance of life to be sure. But I am one of the luckiest people in the world to share this passion with my soul mate. Hopefully I won't screw this up.

[Sami Brown]

It is not an affliction for me. I find it has expanded my horizons. I look forward to seeing where it goes from here.

Sami

[sometimes_miss]

An affliction. I really don't understand why anyone would choose this life if they had the choice. Spending every waking moment feeling like I'm in the wrong clothes? No thank you.

[Georgina]

It is not an affliction. It is a pleasure. I totally love the clothes and how they feel and make me feel. The delight in purchasing new items never fades and, at 65, I have been wearing female clothes for over 50 years.

[Helen_Highwater]

I'm in the position of not coming out to family and friends not because of any shame or guilt, it's possible consequences with family and just feeling it's unnecessary with friends as I'd have no desire to dress in front of them.

Hence I've arrived at a point where for me it is what it is. I do it when I can, I just don't over think it.

It's part of me, it won't go away so why fret about it. I want as few negative feelings as possible when dressing so I've consigned deep thought on the matter to the mind's store room. I interlectualise about it in about the same way as boiling an egg.

[annecwesley]

It's an affliction that I love.

[Charlotte7]

For me? An affliction? No, absolutely not. A Love? Yes, oh yes indeed! But more than that, it's me, it's what makes me, me.

[Kimberly Adams]

Not an affliction. For me it's just a simple pleasure of life to explore and indulge in occasionally. I used to dress and feel fabulous and then a wave of shame and guilt and throw everything away. I've accepted that dressing is just a small part of who I am and I consider it harmless fun. Not a compulsive dresser. I think the last time I went full out was two years ago. I recently came out to my wife and she has been 100% supportive. Just trying to take it slow and not overwhelm her.

[sara66]

Yes to both. I loved to dress and shopping. if I could go back and stop myself I would. It is way too expensive. I also feel like it inhibited my ability date.
Sara

[BrendaPDX]

I love dressing, but it is an affliction. No, I don't want to stop, it would be nice to be normal, but I think I am a better person for it. I see the world differently, it makes me more sympathetic to the needs and desires of others. Thanks for asking:bighug:

[Maria_mtf]

Affliction for me. The answers probably go hand in hand with self acceptance. I would take the blue pill if it existed.

[sarah_hillcrest]

I love dressing, but it is an affliction. No, I don't want to stop, it would be nice to be normal, but I think I am a better person for it. I see the world differently, it makes me more sympathetic to the needs and desires of others. Thanks for asking:bighug:

I experienced this the other day, I was photographing a party for a friend and a girl there around the age of 18 was trying desperately to make sure her face was never seen in a photograph. I'm not a pro but I know that a big part of being a photographer is making people feel comfortable and when she ducked out of the third family picture I was trying to get she said, "I don't take photos."

I said, "No problem, but you're one of the prettiest girls here, it would be a shame not to have a photo of it," that's something I would have never said before. I never understood how insecure that a woman can feel about her appearance and how important it is that they are happy with it. She had nothing to be ashamed of she really was very pretty. I could tell I made a difference to her, and later she got in a photo.

[Robbin_Sinclair]

Thanks for the pros and cons. This is from a grown person who was trained in shame, coming from a second generation Sicilian neighborhood of Chicago. I was the outcast being Polish. My transformation took place about ten years ago.

Pros and cons.

“I am so addicted to dressing, I love dressing fully and shopping for dresses.”

~~TRUE for me in part. I gave up on the frilly things to wear and being fully dressed because I’m just too old, this town is so small and the stores don’t carry size 12 heels. I like being lightly dressed in sheer things. I like being the passive fem in everything I do. A flImsy top and silky miniskirt with high heel sandals is my perfect outfil. My makeup is powder and a high quality sunscreen to take the gloss and red off and maybe a lttle on the eyes and lips. I would love to be shaven but haven’t been able to do it, yet.

I hate when I feel shame.

~~ CANNOT RELATE anymore. My spiritual beliefs suggest shame is meaningless, like all of our mental formations. Sometimes I wonder how far I can take some of my selfdegrading thoughts but fortunately, I don’t have the courage to take it further. I like to think of shame and anger as ideas that are no longer part of me. Seeds of shame and anger remain in my garden; they just will not be watered.

I feel sad that my wife thinks dressing is all messed up!

~~MARRIED but wife is not involved. Sexually the thought is intriguing, but my wife cannot be part of this process. I cannot tell her that I would rather be with a CD because that is just not sexually true ... anymore. Recent readings of Thich Nhat Hanh in a small book titled “Communicating” has me understanding how important we are to each other. Therefore, my mind easily wraps its head around her, remembering my fem side and her male side. We get along swimmingly, one might say.

Thanks for letting me chime in. Good luck, honey. ❤️

[Sarah Louise]

I love dressing, but it is an affliction. No, I don't want to stop, it would be nice to be normal, but I think I am a better person for it. I see the world differently, it makes me more sympathetic to the needs and desires of others. Thanks for asking:bighug:

This is me too - 100%. I love dressing but will give it up tomorrow if there was a magic pill.

Dressing does tend to take over my life. All the planning, expense and not being entirely truthful with people because of it. My wife, while accepting, would much prefer I didn't do it, even though she sees it has some positives. I'm easier to live with, love shopping with her and really understand why she needs yet another pair of shoes!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Judy :hugs:, I have been in this program for over 71years now, It is just who I m And it is just what I do!


It is just a normal part of who I am. >Orchid ..O:daydreaming:O..

[KarenSusan]

It is an affliction and I wish it had never happened to me BUT if someone had a treatment that could cure me tomorrow I wouldn't take it.

[Michaelasfun]

Both for me too. I always think Im not going to order any new stuff, and that lasts right up until a new ad comes out ;P

[April T]

Life would be easier for me but I am what I am.

[Lana Mae]

Love! It is now a huge part of who I am and will probably grow as I go along on my journey! Hugs Lana Mae

[FrannGurl]

When I was younger,I use to feel it was an affliction. that there was something wrong with me.


These days though, I feel its just who I am. I don't think I could change it ( or would want to) if I tried.

Its the overwhelming urge to express my feminine side. Its no longer a fetish for me and feel at this point
that I'm more trans than a crossdresser.

[Terrylynn]

Although I enjoy dressing and have a supportive wife I still feel it's an affliction. I have a strong fem side but I'll never be more than a man in a dress hence I don't see any purpose or utility in pretending to be a woman. I'd rather spend my time in something more productive and lasting than the "pink fog."

[Veronica4me]

The key is deciding whether you are going to punish or accept yourself for the person you are. You can fight it like the flow of water in a river, but you can't change the direction the water is going to go. Many TG people have a lot of depression issues. If you are really unhappy about your tendencies, then you need to do something about it. If not, stop beating yourself up, be happy, and go have a cup of coffee, beer, or glass of wine. Peace, sistur!

[Joanne108]

I absolutely love cross-dressing. In fact the more I look like a woman the better. However, I always know that I am a man no matter what I am wearing.

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

i see it as either an affliction or compulsion that controls my every thought i so wish there was a cure for this

[candice.aihara]

I love it; feels natural and definitely adds variety to my daily wardrobe.

[Alice Torn]

Sarah Hillcrest, I made the mistake of taking a snapshot of a women back in the early 1990's. I knew the woman, and it was at a singles activity. She was very upset. i won't do that again.

[phili]

Affliction is the word I find myself considering, as a way to engage my wife, to persuade her to consider that it is very much like a sensitivity to sunlight or an allergy- sometimes, or all the time, we are uncomfortable being stuck in the male role and persona. Then she can be sympathetic and explain it to others, etc. Of course, that is a pipe dream. But it is not a minor inconvenience -the extent of the discomfort in daily life is big, so it qualifies as an affliction.

That said, I love crossdressing for what it is- the freedom, the sensual pleasure, the way my sexuality is expressed, and the fun of fabrics and colors and draping my body.

[Dena]

I love it, something about it soothes my soul!

[Alice Torn]

I believe it is autogynephelia with me. A substitute for not having female beauty and intimacy in my life, and never having a SO, or wife. It also is for other reasons i am sure. My dad wanted only daughters, and i had a smothering mom. I had male shame, and did not like being considered a predatory male, by women and girls. The feminist movement, and also fanfasizing being a tall, leggy lady for a short time. Affliction because of social stigma, and 98% of people do not like it. But,part of me loves it

[Sara Fina]

I originally hated being a crossdresser, but now I really enjoy it. I look forward to doing it whenever I have a chance.

[BillieS]

I love it! It’s who I am.

[Devi SM]

For me was a frustration but a release while on the closet.
When I came out to wife so many things changed.
We make so many mistakes for ignorance expressing it.
Now in transition to dress is not an urgency because I see my body changing into a woman's like and is always a pleasure. I feel really comfortable...

[Becky Blue]

Its a gift, I feel so lucky to have a female side, she has added so much to make my life better, i wouldn't want it any other way.

[ellbee]

I'm more of a mixed-bag. :straightface:


In my early years, I definitely viewed it as an affliction. I wanted it to disappear & never come back again. I've had more than my fair share of purges. I tried & tried to shake it, but after a while I gradually smartened up & realized I was in this for life.

Nowadays, I do wish sometimes that I wasn't like this. In some aspects, life would be that much better & easier -- and... "normal"? :strugglin

However, I also realize this was the hand I was dealt. So, I make the most of it, and do accept myself. I also believe this kind of life is much less boring & average. :D


Love, on the other hand, is a pretty strong word. Overall, I don't love it, per se. But I definitely do like some aspects of it. :)

I actually think in my earlier days, I had stronger swings... Higher highs & lower lows. Way more love for it, and also way more viewing it as an affliction, back then. Totally conflicting & taxing. Years & decades of dealing with it, and growing & maturing, has certainly tempered & evened-out those feelings.


Anyway, as a side note, while I'm at it, before some reading this thread get the wrong impression... People out there really do need to understand that this isn't a choice, for any of us, really. It's not. Seriously, who would actually *choose* this??

I do, however, believe that for many of us, *how* we go about this *is* a choice, to some degree. For example, perhaps getting all tarted-up like a prostitute to go "strutting the mall" in the middle of the day, may be somewhat of a choice. And on the same token, toning things down a bit before heading to the same mall can also be a (better, wiser) choice. ;)

[Aunt Kelly]

I had posted a response to this the evening that it came out, but it never appeared. Probably user error. Anyway, the gist of that was the observation that TG behavior is far from completely understood by even by those most educated on the matter. For that reason, expecting a qualified answer to the question, in this forum, is folly. Now, that's not to say that there is no value in the opinions like those voiced above. Support, whether from one "suffering and affliction" or enjoying a common pleasure, is almost always good to have.

Upon several days reflection, I now have a more nuanced answer...
The TG condition, crossdresser, transsexual, or any point in between or around, does involve an affliction, but it is not ours. It is an affliction suffered by society. It is born of ignorance and religious prejudice. No that's not an opinion on religion, just the simple observation that the vast majority of arguments about the immorality of TG behavior will inevitably devolve to the citation of some ancient proscription. I note that not all societies suffer that to the same degree. Some grew to be more enlightened. Some never suffered in such darkness. The bottom line is that if none of us ever suffered the disapproval, fear or hatred that most of us do, our "condition" would be thought of as neither pleasure nor affliction. It would be viewed as precisely what it really is, just... who... we... are.

[Ginni]

I like how I feel when I'm dressed. I feel relaxed and comfortable with myself. There is a feminine side of me that needs to be expressed. It is not an affliction because I enjoy it.

[KelleyB]

For me, it's not an affliction, condition, neuroses, defect, oddity...none of that.

It's just how I am, and that's the way it is.

I'm really quite happy I introduced my dress-wearing side to my wife of 20+ years, and she didn't freak out about it.

[jacques]

hello,
for me I think the shame is waning - I love dressing up in private
luv J

[Robin777]

As for me, I love dressing, It makes me feel good. It satisfies the part of me that wants to be a woman. I have a very supportive wife and she likes me expressing my feminine side. That is now. When I first started dressing in my early teens for me it was like an affliction.When I started it was the 70's when you had no easy way of finding out why you were attracted to wearing women's clothing, I took me many years to figure myself out. The age of the internet really helped me to accept myself and just enjoy dressing. That's when I started loving dressing.

[Roxanne Lanyon]

I adore being en femme! I feel so "right", somehow! I love being Roxanne, sweet, caring and so very feminine. It makes me feel ever so complete, and at ease with life!
Roxanne Lanyon

[DIANEF]

As several people have said, it just feels right. I'm fully dressed right now and could happily stay like this for a week or more. I could stop if I wanted to but I can't imagine that ever happening.

[ellbee]

It is an affliction suffered by society. It is born of ignorance and religious prejudice.

Okay, so you've got a passionate & vocal segment of a population, telling another passionate & vocal segment of a population that they're wrong & need to change.

And then, at the same time, you've got the second group telling the 1st group that *they're* wrong & need to change.

Yeah, good luck with all that... :brolleyes:


BTW, whatever happened to promoting diversity, as well as tolerance & acceptance of *everyone*? :strugglin



Anyway, I've always been fond of this quote...

"Choose your enemies carefully, for you will become like them."

:)

[Bobbi46]

Love to dress? no more of a desire to emulate , to acheive a look as close as is possible, I have been "clocked" a couple of times but nothing happened I did not feel intimidated or upset and in any case the moment soon passes. It certainly is not an affliction for me more of a way of life most of the time.

[Aunt Kelly]

Okay, so you've got a passionate & vocal segment of a population, telling another passionate & vocal segment of a population that they're wrong & need to change.

And then, at the same time, you've got the second group telling the 1st group that *they're* wrong & need to change.

Yeah, good luck with all that... :brolleyes:


BTW, whatever happened to promoting diversity, as well as tolerance & acceptance of *everyone*? :strugglin



Oh, puh-leeze. Every time I hear that false equivalence I want to scream. It is not, in no way, shape or form, "intolerant" to refuse to accept intolerance. So let's get clear on the terms. Tolerance means (by one common definition), a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions, beliefs, and practices that differ from one's own. I tolerate opinions, beliefs, and practices that differ from mine. I do not tolerate, no one should ever tolerate, actions that impinge on my beliefs and practices. In other words, your liberty stops where it begins to negatively affect others, and so does mine. So yeah, any group that doesn't get that needs to change, because they are ...intolerant.

Note that I have not named any political party or portion of the social/cultural spectrum. That's because it does not matter which "side" you're on. If you refuse to grant "the other" the same rights you claim for yourself, you're still wrong.

Bringing this back around to the subject, I can live with other people thinking I'm a dangerous degenerate. I'm not. They're wrong. We disagree. No problem. I absolutely refuse, however, to allow that "side" to do all the destructive things they do because of their fear and ignorance. No. You do not get to make laws that deny me anything any other citizen is entitled to. No. You do not get to bully the sissy, or the tomboy. And I will be damned if I will be called intolerant for saying so.

[KatrinaK]

What Kelly said.

[Roxanne Lanyon]

I believe I could remain Roxanne for months and months! I truly enjoy being a girl, in my heart and soul!

[Beverley Sims]

I never look on the negative side, I just LOVE what I have done for years.

[Charlotte-Jones]

Tbh, I feel its both sometimes. Other times one or the other.

Part of me knows that things would be easier if i wasn't this way. The other tells me that it hasn't stopped me in regards to other things such as my love of videogames, cartoons/anime etc back when I was growing up. Love what you love and dont let people stop you and all that jazz.

Part of me tells myself that I'm a degenerate fetishist, the other tells me that this is a part of how I feel whole and express myself sometimes, and which one I feel better about seems to flip every other month or so...

I guess the problem is I am looking for a clearcut answer where there just might not be one...

[Barbara Black]

When I dress initially get a sexual response to it, which has to be hidden in some skirts and dresses. But after that, I feel very comfortable while dressed and enjoy every minute of it. So I guess the first part is an affliction, the latter part I love.

[dana digs sweaters]

It is not an affliction. It is a pleasure. I totally love the clothes and how they feel and make me feel. The delight in purchasing new items never fades

I agree with Georgina.
NEVER felt any shame in something I have thoroughly enjoyed since 5 years old.

294412

To much joy in emulating women that inspire us :battingeyelashes:

[dee anne]

I think it is an affliction I love, just part of me

[Alice Torn]

Giselle, Totally agree with you . I wish it would not be in every thought. I cannot function in a healthy way, with it in allo my thoughts, cannot concentrate on important matters, or details. I would take the blue pill right now if there was one, to free my mind.

- - - Updated - - -

It is healthy for all of us, if we can just agree to disagree peacefully, and realize we are all products of our heredity, and environments and upbringing, and many other things. We are complex creatures, and sometimes change.

- - - Updated - - -

ellbee. Love the kitten avatar! I agree. We all need to be able to disagree agreeably, or there will be no peace.

[ellbee]

Thanks, Alice.

I'm glad you posted. I was going to respond to Aunt Kelly, but after reading your words, I've decided not to. :)


I will say, however, that both sides do sometimes spew some serious garbage. It can be juvenile, disrespectful, pathetic, and even disgusting. And a whole bunch of other words. :roflmao:

They certainly won't be winning over many hearts & minds this way.


Fortunately, I believe a large swath of the population is somewhere in the middle of all this, at neither extreme. And they'll probably be staying put, taking things on a case-by-case basis, probably rightfully so.

[DMichele]

For many years (perhaps decades), I did not understand my need to wear women's clothing - it was an enigma to me. Yes there was quilt, shame, etc. at times, but the desire never went away over the years. After I came to terms with my gender identity, wearing women's clothing is a part of me, no affliction.

[Aunt Kelly]

We all need to be able to disagree agreeably, or there will be no peace.
That is a noble ideal. I support it completely. Alas, the reality is that some feel compelled to force their beliefs on others. For purposes of illustration, let's confine the discussion to our lot, the transgendered. I'll use just one case, one familiar to many here, as an example. How is the treatment received by Kai Shappley (https://www.houstoniamag.com/articles/2017/12/1/transgender-rights-pearland-isd-school-board) in any way, "peaceful" or "agreeable"? How is it "intolerant" to call those who perpetrate such injustice ignorant and intolerant?
Caution: Before you reply with an indignant assertion that "It's not ignorance. It's their deeply held beliefs", know that I am not questioning their beliefs. They can believe anything they want. It's their actions, and in many cases, inaction, that I refuse to "tolerate".
Now, again, tell me how it is that we should all just "disagree agreeably"?

[Felicia M]

Aunt Kelly has struck a very powerful chord and one I concur with.

Ultimately I agree that the affliction is cultural and societal. If tomorrow cross dressing was deemed completely normal and accepted I would imagine that the feeling that it is an "affliction" to be carried by the self would
disappear for most.

To take it a step further look at Two Spirit's in Native American culture. There was a time when the world wasn’t simply divided into male and female and many Native American cultures held places of honor for people of
integrated genders.

Can you imagine feeling you were gifted and should be held in a place of honor?

As of now we are a strictly binary culture that is intolerant of nuance. I suspect that is slowly changing and you can see it slowly evolving in our society with greater awareness and slow acceptance of the greater LGBTQ
community. But clearly there is still a long way to go.

For me it took almost 50 years to not only come to a place of acceptance of myself but to realize that it is a gift. Truly, for me it is a remarkable experience.

[krissy]

I know how you feel all my life I have had the guilt and shame .I often think what kind of man would I have been if not for me wanting to dress as a girl.im 60 now I don't think ill ever stop .but it dose wear on you I feel like is this all there is when im dressed I read all the comments on here and some I agree with others I don't .I just want to be happy be myself with out guilt or shame its so hard just hang in there . don't give up on life just try to enjoy when you do dress its part of us all we cant change even if we wanted to believe me I have tried a lot thru my life I have come to see its part of who I am and that's that .:hugs::cheer::cheer:

[Roxanne Lanyon]

I do not believe in a binary culture! Roxanne lives in my heart, and one day, she will come outside forever! But, at times, she is ever so lonely.

[mbmeen12]

It's an affliction that I love.

Second:)

[ellbee]

Alas, the reality is that some feel compelled to force their beliefs on others.

Oh, I'd say for a fact that that's how *both* sides feel. ;)


Anyway... Kelly, please understand that no one here is "going against you" or anything.

And I can only speak for myself on this, but where I'm coming from, is that a part of me is able to intentionally distance myself from all this, so I can reasonably attempt to observe & analyze things from a big-picture perspective, as objectively as I can, on a psychological & sociological level.

I assure you, I have seen & heard a lot over the years. Sometimes, I really wish I hadn't. And that goes for *both* camps.


Perhaps someday this will all settle down. But I ain't gonna hold my breath on that, either, LOL.

[Aunt Kelly]

Anyway... Kelly, please understand that no one here is "going against you" or anything.
.

I don't think that at all. It is pretty easy to read between the lines that people type here. When it's not, I don't worry about it. I can't imagine why anyone would think that I do, unless there's some serious projection going on.

That said, I note that you are still pushing that false equivalence trope. I'd love to point out all the ways it's false, but we'd be crossing the line then, so for that reason I won't.

[Patience]

During my teenage years, when I was found out and shamed very badly, it was a curse. So much so that I kept it bottled inside me for 30 years.

Since coming to terms with my dressing and finally acting upon it, I almost don't recognize the person I used to be. I have a hard time understanding how I managed to hold it back for so long. The need to dress is hard wired into my brain and asking me not to cross dress would be tantamount to asking a gay person to stop being gay. Cross dressing makes me feel a freedom and a joy I don't get in guy mode, and that's a blessing.

Xox,

Tina V.

[Bobbi46]

In a nutshell I love it, nothing can beat the superior comfort of lingerie and of course all the rest, drab underwear has all been consigned to the trash bin long ago.

[Hozeguy]

I just started crossdressing in public and I can’t get enough. It’s almost as though I’m obsessed with it. Maybe the newness of it will fade in time? Who knows? But it feels great right now.

[Crissy 107]

I absolutely love to cross dress to the extent that I can. It’s a big part of me and I know it will never go away nor would I want it to. Crissy

[Roxanne Lanyon]

But why would I ever want to stop? I adore being Roxanne, and could be her forever and ever! Just have to learn a bit more! Roxanne and I have a love affair - she loves me, and I simply adore her! I feel so complete when she and I are one!

[Roxanne Lanyon]

The newness of it simply does not go away. I began in Virginia, and since then, well, since then . . . .!

[TolerantCD]

I love it. But I have some complicated feelings about it.

Looking at it rationally, what’s wrong with cross dressing? Are we hurting anybody? Are we causing deliberate pain to anyone? The simple truth is no. So why do people see it as taboo? Aren’t we all here in this world for a brief second? Shouldn’t we enjoy it and live it according to our deepest convictions? Why do we judge and restrict? It makes no rational sense, and this is coming from a guy who fears societal judgment so much I’ve never told anybody about it.

On the other hand, occasionally it makes me feel isolated, I realize it’s not the norm and of my close circle of people I know I’m probably the only one who does it, but I may be way wrong. I wish we cross dressers had a radar to detect others if they want to be detected.

Other than that I love it. If it weren’t for cross dressing I’d still be a bit of a weirdo since my interests are slightly different to the norm.

[Roxanne Lanyon]

I sense "Roxanne" will never go away from my life. She is so very sweet, understanding, and gentle to me. She helps me feel care, and love in my heart, and makes me so very feminine. Oh please, Roxanne, be mine forever!

[Aunt Kelly]

Looking at it rationally, what’s wrong with cross dressing? Are we hurting anybody? Are we causing deliberate pain to anyone? The simple truth is no. So why do people see it as taboo?
.

Rational has nothing to do with why people see it as a taboo. Fear and ignorance is at the root of it. That, and a heaping dose of populist melodrama, fanning that fear with fabricated dangers for women and girls in public restrooms. Yes, fabricated.
And please don't bring any scriptural proscriptions into this. We aren't to debate religion here, and besides... everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. The plain fact is that we are who we are, no different from anyone else save this one trait (albeit a complicated one).

[Jenny22]

I fully dress daily. My mind has progressed from being a CDer to being TG. I wouldn't ever want that to change as I love it so much.

[Susan Smokes]

I still love to dress. It is not an affliction for me. It is who I am now!

[Janine cd]

I have never considered it an affliction. I have come to believe that it is a gift that is only given to a few of us. It helps to explain why we desire to be the person not assigned by birth but willing to accept who we are.

[Alice B]

It is something I simply love to do. Not a day goes by where I am not in some minor form of my female side. Panties 7/24, some makeup on eye lashes and brows, sleep in a bra with forms every night, with a sexy night shirt. Wear bra and forms to breakfast every day, unless someone is coming over. Body is always fully shaved and toe nails painted most of the time. All of this is an eloving situation that my wife now accepts. Not DADT any more

[Shayla]

I enjoy it and have finally began to accept that what I like is OK. I would not call it an affliction but on the other hand, if I could make it go away I probably would (strictly due to the stress it can put on relationships).

[Gillian Gigs]

There was a time that I thought CD'ing was an affliction, and shame was its first cousin. As I came to accept the things that I could not seem to change about myself, I realized that everyone has their quirks and no one is perfect. I have come to enjoy this as a part of me, and take it one day at a time growing as a person who knows they are not perfect and I also need to accept other imperfect people also.

[Alice Torn]

Well said Jillian. We all have quirks, and secret sides.

[Lygophilia]

Neither.

[Anne E]

When I dress, I feel peace.

[Shely]

I share your opinion about making it go away. It would make life so much easier. I could go back to my other hobbies.

[Karen's Secret]

Life would be so much easier for me and my wife if I were not transgender so I would have to say it's an affliction.

[Connie D50]

I'm way past the shame and if I could do it over again, I would have ended the shame even sooner. I love to dress it just makes me feel so right.

[Fran in skirts]

I love wearing feminine clothing. I do not worry about what others think that is their problem and not mine. :devil:
I think we have gotten ourselves into a cesspool of worry about what others think and it will drag us down, not a good thing.
So to me it is not an affliction but it is a good thing.:)
Fran

[CrossKimmy]

I love love love dressing up and feel the most complete when I am Kim.

[Dani0948]

Crossdressing is not an affliction. My wife thinks it's an addiction. I love dressing and feeling feminine. I have never fealt ashamed or guilty, just an understanding that most people (including my wife) don't get it. So keep it close to avoid unnecessary conflict.

[cindylane9999]

I feel more at ease when dressed, feel as though I am being my real self. I wear panties 24/7 unless I have to go to a doctors appointment. I don't feel comfortable at night unless I am sleeping in a nightgown. My sister once asked me if I still wore girl's clothes like I did when I was a kid. I actually don't remember it. My earliest memory was when I was in my 20's and I would secretly wear my wife's panties.

I have been dressing now for over 20 years and feel more at home when dressed in female clothing than I do male clothing. Deep down I feel that I should have been born a girl. I am sitting here typing this fully dressed, wearing a dress, bra, panties, thigh-high stockings, wig, makeup and jewelry. I pierced my own ears about 6 years ago.

I will admit that I have tried to quit dressing several times over the years but that didn't last long before I would be dressing again. Deep down, I feel more like a girl inside that I do a man and it just feels natural for me to dress in female clothings and accessories.