View Full Version : pushing away femininity

10-27-2004, 07:33 AM
Hello, gentlemen (and any ladies who'd care to comment)
I was wondering which feminine things you tended to 'push away' and at what ages?
When I was about 11 and started off with puberty, my mother of course made me start wearing bras. Every day before school she'd check to make sure I was wearing one, because I despised them. Of course, when I went to school (A private school) I'd immediately dash into the loo and take the damn thing off. Also when I began having *eek* periods I seemed to refuse to do anything about it for several months. I would NOT use pads or tampons, just wore nothing (which I realise now is quite gross) or stuffed my shorts with TP.
When I was 8 and had to wear skirts at the school, I'd lift the skirt up and say to the boys, "Look, I'm wearing boxer shorts!" Of course, they weren't; they were regular gym shorts, but I'd like to pretend they were. In Jr. High I began actually wearing boxer shorts.
I remember thinking when I was 8 or 9 that eventually I'd start to get tits. I used to wish, hope, and even pray, that the extra bits of flesh would, instead of ending up on my chest, end up between my legs.

Anybody else have feelings/ experiences like this?

10-27-2004, 08:08 AM
That's just fine :)
My definition of what is 'male' or 'female' is slightly different, possibly because Utah is so conservative.
But I prefer the gender- blending area of male. I want to wear froofy stuff... Renaissance, Victorian, classical- type stuff... Tight leather trousers, snakeskin boots, long, fluffy hair.
But then I'd be a 'girl'.
I want to look like what I find sexy. And I find long- haired, pretty boys sexy.

10-27-2004, 08:18 AM
5th grade, I hated the fact I was developing a small rack. I was used to being your typical tomboy. Stealing my brother's underwear, wearing boy's clothes, whatever. 6th grade, the periods came. I wasn't very happy at all. But I wore my pads, my grunge clothes, and band shirts. Since there were quite a bit of us girls doing that...I didn't get made fun of too much. Plus I would call anyone out if they had a problem with me. I'd threaten to beat anyone to a bloody pulp had they ****ed with me. 7th grade/8th grade, I actually began wearing makeup, dressing more feminine...liking boys. I thought I completely grew out of the tomboy thing and was just your typical girl. I did check out guys often, but I also caught myself wandering about girls. Durin' the summer of my 8th grade year, I shaved under my hair...and still had semi long hair to cover it. It's a bit hard to explain. I dressed as a male once as I went out with my parents..and I kinda slicked my hair back that day. I saw a girl check me out and I was completely stoked about it. I felt like such a pimp guy and so I continued to dress that way. After a couple of months of doin' this, I got crapped on by people. So I went to church to cure me of my "illness". Freshman year..I was in bible club and everything. Then I got tired of all the hatred most christian people had towards gay people...so I said to hell with it. I shaved my head completely, dressed as a male, and dumped my satanic boyfriend...and got girlfriends. Ever since I've felt pretty complete...as complete as I can be.

10-27-2004, 08:47 AM
Haha sure wouldn't. I haven't seen or talked to him in 8 years. It'll be strange to come across him again. After we broke up...I shocked the hell out of him. I mean I shocked the hell out of everyone. Everyone thought I was some christian rocker kinda girl with a satanic boyfriend I was tryin' to show the godly light to...and then I went to the extreme of bein' a rocker guy with too many girlfriends to boot. I had the christians tryin' to get me back into the club, but I turned into just another lost soul to them.

10-27-2004, 09:06 AM
Haha glad to be a part of the club. Who knows..I might go back to the light later on in life. ::shrugs:: Once they become more tolerant people.

10-27-2004, 09:13 AM
Haha way to make a guy feel bad. Mean girl.

10-27-2004, 09:47 AM
The things that I *really* hated (in no particular order) was when the beard started to get heavy hair (around age 16), the voice broke (I loved singing soprano and alto - that was always my joy - around age 16) and when my feet couldn't fit in my mom's boots anymore (around age 14) :(. Also when all the body hair really started to grow :(.


10-27-2004, 10:04 AM
I loved all that... Er...
Well, my feet outgrowing my mum's, voice deepening, etc. I want some facial hair, although I don't think a goatee would work for me, as much as I would love the feel of one. My body hair, I don't feel one way or the other about. Sometimes I'll shave, sometimes I'll go weeks without.
I always shave my pits, though, as I wear lots of wife beaters/ vests, etc. and my family would get weirded out.

10-27-2004, 06:52 PM
I was a good little kid, and a naive one. No conscious decision for outfit or the shorthair (my dad gave me, maybe coz it's easy to manage) until around 11 or 12. The chest thing was awful (and the subsequent hunchback equally bad). I miss the able-to-be-shirtless days. The bleeding thing was worse. But, I did what was practical. So I guess I definitely have less internal maleness. During junior year in college my mental puberty caught up with me, and the fact that my teacher came out in class also served as a catalyst. And I'm returning to my old self again, except now with more resolve.

Not to be rude or anything, but where are the gals who want to act like simple "good boys"? Maybe they perceive this to be too untraditional already. :D

10-27-2004, 11:15 PM
It was when I was required to play sports in school. I would much rather play with the girls since all they cared about was having fun and not how much I just cost the team. Then it would have to be hair, I went to a private school and had a very strict dress code. I had to keep my hair above my eyes, off my ears and collar, as soon as I hit college I let it grow out. I also didn't like collars on my shirts, I would rather wear a tshirt or another type of collarless shirt. Luckly the school didn't have a policy for fit of pants for guys so I had some flex there. :)

10-27-2004, 11:35 PM
Thanks for your input.

I'm trying to be a good boy, Gabriel. I'm polite and have good manners. I'm a sweet, sensitive boy. :D

10-27-2004, 11:38 PM
I want to look like what I find sexy. This is the best definition of "crossdresser" I have ever read!!! http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/images/icons/icon14.gif

10-28-2004, 12:42 AM
Thanks :)

10-30-2004, 10:21 PM
I want some facial hair, although I don't think a goatee would work for me, as much as I would love the feel of one.

I think you'd look Hot with a Fu Man Chu mustache!

10-30-2004, 11:12 PM
Heh. Thanks ;)