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View Full Version : Do you encourage or discourage your boys from being 'girly?



Maria_mtf
08-02-2018, 09:59 AM
So my wife is sort of DADT, not supported or involved just indifferent I guess. We have a 2 year old boy and until recently she has never discouraged him fom doing girly things. In fact generally she encourages it, for example:

After being in a bath she will tie towel around his waiste so he can wear a skirt. Instigated by Wife and him.

Playing dress up in dresses with cousins. Instigated by counsins norymally.

Face painting always picks butterflies.

Has pink toy pram and baby.

He has various pink balls and cutterly.

However the last time he got his face painted there was only a small choice, he chose to be a princess. My wife suggested a butterfly, which he had and loved.

So we both try to avoid gender sterotypes and dont discourage him from chosing what he wants however on this occasion my wife changed his mind. (I wasnt there).

What do others do with their boys, do you allow, encourage or discourage them to do 'Girly' things?

Personally I am torn, I want him to be free to do what he wants but I dont want him to grow up and be a crossdresser and have an 'afflication' like I do. Therefore I remain neutral, neither encourage or discorage.

(Yes I realise I have just gender sterotyped by writing the above list and implying its girly)

Mistyjo
08-02-2018, 01:34 PM
Our kids when they were growing up my wife and myself always encouraged our kids to be them selves and to express their feelings

Pat
08-02-2018, 03:51 PM
Personally I am torn, I want him to be free to do what he wants but I dont want him to grow up and be a crossdresser and have an 'afflication' like I do.

For what it's worth, the current thinking by those who study such things for a living is that if your child is going to be transgender, they already are. If they're going to be cisgender, they already are that. By the time they're born, it's already set. So don't get wrapped up in encourage/discourage -- just let them be happy and create some good memories that both of you can carry into the years to come. ;)

jacques
08-02-2018, 04:26 PM
hi,
we realised that CHILDREN ARE PEOPLE TOO so let our children be themselves.
we did try to ban war-toys, so my son made his own
luvJ

Rhonda Jean
08-02-2018, 06:28 PM
I had very long hair when the boys were growing up, and we encouraged the boys to have long hair. Neither of them were interested, which was fine. We kept our youngest one's hair about shoulder length until he was about 4. We thought he liked it, or was at least indifferent to it, until we had it cut. Only then did he tell us that he had wanted it cut for a long time.

Lana Mae
08-02-2018, 06:50 PM
Both of my children were free to play with what ever they liked! There were dolls and trucks! My son is cis-male and my daughter is a tom boy! She wears men's clothes but is female and wears Panties and female sneakers but no pink! These were their choices not the parents or other family members! Hugs Lana Mae

Tracy Irving
08-02-2018, 06:51 PM
Neither.

Beverley Sims
08-04-2018, 03:09 AM
I quute Tracy here, "neither", if they showed a specific direction I would let it develop in it's own way.

Robertacd
08-04-2018, 05:47 PM
I do not think we consciously encouraged or discouraged our son to be manly or girly. Except for buying traditional "boy toys", clothes, and etc...

We let him find his own way.

Jaylyn
08-04-2018, 07:27 PM
Our son we just treated him like the rest of the boys he played with. He is all manly and never showed any signs of wanting to be any thing but male. He probably would be surprised if he knew of my dressing but today the kids are usually more accepting than I would have been in my youth. My son did grow up with his sister one year older and he would have had a chance to dress if he'd have had an interest.