Going full circle .

[Teresa]

Many of us go through the gradual build up, how we sneak items away and find ways into taking out first steps into shops to buy basic items , out hearts are in our mouth's hoping the SAs don't put two and two together and yet we really want them to know we will be wearing the item as soon as we step foot inside our front door . We get braver and braver until eventually it stops being a problem and can go in drab , take something off the rack and try it on . Finally we start to do it dressed which is the icing on the cake for most Cders .

This leads onto my story from a couple of days ago , I had to return to my own home town , I was in drab because I needed a hair cut , also I needed to drop into the pet supplier for some dog food and take in a few other jobs . I parked up to get my hair cut one guy was on holiday and other was taking so long to get through the waiting coustomers , I'm sure the man in front of me went for a jog round town and came back and still had to wait, I'd read every magazine on offer and eventually told the barber I couldn't wait any longer . I popped up to the pet shop for the dog food and drove back past the barber's , the guy in front of me in the shop was still waiting his turn . The shop was right on some traffic lights , straight on took me back to the main road for home and left took me into town , I took a left turn and parked up . I started doing my rounds of the charity shops but as I started going through the racks I felt awkward and out of place in drab , maybe I wasn't in the mood but I was getting frustrated by not being dressed . All I could think of was my previous visit when I really pushed the boat out and came into town dressed , how I'd walked past people I knew without them realising , I enjoyed going throught the racks , it meant something . To top the day I'd then gone to meet up with my art group to view the exhibition, everyone was so accepting .

I'm sorry to have gone round the houses some but my question to others is do you feel you've gone full circle in a smilar situation ?

The build up to buying for your CDing needs in drab , to eventually do it dressed to the point it feels perfectly normal and comfortable to then find doing it in drab feels totally wrong and almost alien !

I have no interest at all now going into my new town to shop in drab , not just for clothes but to do all my jobs .

Some may have alternative stories where they feel they have gone full circle .

[Gillian Gigs]

Your first paragraph nails it. This is also true with many things in life. After going so far down a trail, it can be difficult to go back. In my case this is why I stopped where I did. I just knew that if I went all the way, there would have been no turning back. Finding my happy medium was not easy, I wanted to go farther, and staying where I have stopped can also be hard at times.

[sarah_hillcrest]

I can't say that I've gone full circle like that because I've yet to go places dressed. I'm too well known and in to small of a place. I don't think I can pull it off here so I'd have to travel a few towns over at least. I feel like I'm getting closer to that, but I fear exactly what you're talking about. Wife's working this morning and I'm sitting here dressed, I've been researching a project and figured out what I need to finish it, which I can get from a store in a nearby town. A part of me says, just go, get it over with, no will notice or care, but each step you take is a step you can't take back.

[suzanne]

I too have gotten to where I can go out while dressed and do practically anything. And each time I go out, it makes me feel more comfortable and confident, so now I don't want to go out NOT dressed.

[CONSUELO]

I was surprised to find you still go to a male barber rather than going to a female in a unisex beauty salon.
I stopped going to a barber decades ago and I only have women cut my hair. They do a better job especially as I like to keep my hair long. My waxing salon is owned by a lady and I go to have my pedicure at a nail salon. I don't like the atmosphere at a barber's shop. Never have since I was a small child.

[Teresa]

Consuelo,
There isn't that much to bother about as long as it's short and neat I don't care most of the time ist's covered up and is out of the way of my wig , male barbers are usually quick so I can be in and out to do more important things .

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Teresa :hugs:, Like the old saying, "What goes around, Comes around" . >Orchid ..O:daydreaming:O..

[sarah_hillcrest]

I went to old fashioned barber shops for years and years, around here they are one of the last bastions of old white men. I DO NOT want to touch off any political arguments, but I quit going a few years ago because all the old guys would sit around and talk about how we should nuke whatever country we were currently embroiled in conflicts with, and make lots of negative comments about anyone they deemed "queer"

I started going to a family type salon and get my hair cut by ladies who do a better job and have way more interesting things to talk about.

[Allisa]

It seems the only time I crossdress in drab is when I'm working, all other times I,m en femme and go and do anything, anywhere, anytime. Does going full circle mean I have to start over again?, I don't think I have the strength.

[Teresa]

Lisa,
My point was going from struggling to make the first purchase in drab to finding it doesn't feel right shopping in drab anymore . This situation happened on Wednesday of last week , on Thusday evening I was dressed and joined a group for a late night shop , I picked out a lovely dress and then realised they had six colours in the same style . The SA persuaded me to try one on the check the size little did I know when she found the size 12 undersized she pulled all six colours from the rack and stayed with me while I stood in my cami slip so she could zip me up between changes. We chatted all through this , this just couldn't have happened for me in drab it wouldn't have felt right anymore although I have done it in the past . The dresses were less than half price so I bought one in duck egg blue and one in navy , we all agreed the duck egg blue was the best .

The local barber's are all OK we do have a laugh , the owner knows about my Cding , without thinking when he'd finshed on one occasion I commented that the wig will fit better , he didn't get it straight away so I explained what I meant .

[AKADonna]

After finally getting up the nerve to go into a lingerie store and ask for a bra fitting (in drab), I have become such a regular client there that all of the SA'a know me and we openly discuss my drssing, my needs and interests. I have even gone there as Donna couple of times, but that is pretty risky as I am pretty well known in th ecommunity, have lots of family and grandkids that might me a little surprised that they really have 3 Grandmas! So, now I shop locally in drab and go crosstown (city of a million) when I feel that i have to go as Donna. Seems to work OK, but, when I do, I miss my lady friends at Lane Bryant, who ar so kind to me.

[Rachael Leigh]

Teresa without question my answer is yes, I was much like you I started slow on buying clothes at first en drab and then
once I didn’t faint when I went out shopping en fem the first time it finally just became natural for me. I don’t like buying
clothes of any kind unless Rachael is doing the buying. I do find myself wondering though could I just stop no longer really
need to be fully dressed en fem or what. Has it become so much a part of me could I go back.

[Beverley Sims]

I sometimes think I have gone full circle as I find it as easy to go out dressed as not.

I still have to revert to drab for work.

[Helen_Highwater]

Teresa,

Have you stopped to consider that it was only a short time ago, certainly it can be counted in months, that you were writing here about whether or not you'd be able to cope with going out into the muggle world in the daytime. Social group outings nailed, but out full time, that was going to be a biggie!

Perhaps this a true measure of just how much your mindset has changed. That said it's possible you'll just as quickly gain the same level of confidence to shop for whatever regardless of your presentation. You climbed one mountain who's to say you won't climb another?

We have confidence in you to overcome.

[Teresa]

Helen,
You're so right .

I'm afraid I had a bad weekend , having to go backwards and forwards dressed to drab . Gave myself a good kick up the rearend this morning got dressed and went to make a final decision on wallpaper from Homebase . I also needed some advice on a replacement hob unit when I redesign the kitched so popped next door into Curry's / PC world and had a good chat with the sales guy there , on my way out I noticed some vacuum cleaners on offer so the same guy came to help out with choosing a new one , I ended up trying one out in the middle of the shop , I was wearing a cream cotton skirt with a coral pink Tshirt and wedges . I really needed that boost , it's funny how the doubts creep in when you have something bad happen.

Thanks for your vote of confidence , I do appreciate it .

[Lana Mae]

Teresa, we all have doubts! No crystal balls! You just do the best you can and move on when you are ready! Add to that what Helen said! We have confidence in you and look up to you to do the right thing! Hugs Lana Mae

[Robertacd]

As much as I love shopping, sometimes I am just not in the mood to shop, dressed or not. So don't try to make too much of it.

[Teresa]

Roberta,
That's the point I'm making I can always shop dressed not just for CDing needs , it just feels right but clothes shopping in drab really does feel wrong now . Funny thing it even felt wrong going into the male section dressed to buy some male trousers and socks and did they feel uncomfortable after I'd slipped out of my skirt to check the size in the changing room .

[Allisa]

Sorry Teresa I was just trying a little levity, OK bad choice by me. I understand your point as shopping is only enjoyable when I'm en-femme. Please forgive my bad taste in humor.

[Teresa]

Lisa,
No problem, no harm done !

I may have just been having an off day but I'm sure you've been out enough to know the feeling , it's the first time I've felt like that . On a previous occasion I did see a skirt I coiuuldn't resist so I couldn't wait to try it on , I even had to call the SA over to hand me a smaller size .

[Bobbi46]

We all have some of these days of self doubt of worry/fear of going back to ones roots and worried that an aquatance might see you so you dress in drab, but teresa you have come so far in such a short space of time and all of it good. You don't seem to be worried about about who sees you in your new environment why worry about the old, now is the time to look forward not back at migh have happened if. it all comes down to the University of Life. Conquer the worries and doubts and the rest falls into place.