My Own Worst Enemy

[sarah_hillcrest]

After a very successful and fulfilling camping trip with my wife last week I was feeling very good about myself. I put together a new organizer set of drawers for my wife's bathroom to house her makeup collection and helped her move and organize her stuff. In the process she gave me several things and the bottom drawer for my collection. Later that day I ordered a new wig, nothing expensive around 60 bucks, but it's lace front and I'm hoping much higher quality then the 9 dollar one I'm wearing now. She had also ordered something and knew I was getting a new wig and didn't seem to care.

Later she saw what I paid for the wig and I was expecting all hell to break loose, but instead we both talked about our growing online shopping addictions and decided to try to curb orders for awhile. Thing is she's become a instagram influencer and is getting alot of stuff, like the mirror she just ordered, for free. Lucky her.

Anway, I'm at Wal-Mart to get a few things Friday morning and while I'm walking around I see people that I think I recognize. One is an obviously TG mtf and he's with a GG woman. I know of these two because they are active on the Internet and claim to offer services, mostly fetish type, their services are outrageously expensive and I've corresponded with them a few times in email it was similar to talking to a poorly written AI chatbot. Anyway, I'd seen their pics online and seeing the real thing left me shocked and deflated, I'll just leave it at that.

I quickly went away, just so I wouldn't be rude and stare at them, and then I had a feeling of dread? Later that night I started having doubts and fears and I also realized how judgemental I could be. I'm exactly the kind of person I'm afraid I'll run into if I go out dressed.

[Shelly Preston]

Sarah we all make judgements even if we don't mean too.

It could be the difference in how two women dress or how two guys dress.

Even when we judge people it about how we act. You did the right thing in not staring.

I can understand why you were disappointed. Often people post there best pics on line or have them photoshopped to look better.

Thats why if you ever decide to meet someone. If possible you should speak to them on webcam at least.

[Sidney]

Sarah, unfortunately for many of us it seems to be human nature to judge. You seem to be having a wonderful time with your wife and life. Dont let one instance get you down.

[Teresa]

Sarah,
Take it in stages , see what the new wig is like , take some pics and check what your weaknesses are . If the wig is wrong then don't hesitate to send it back , no matter what it cost if it's wrong then you've wasted your money . Some wig shops don't charge a fortune but may give you a better idea of style and colour .

Have you had a skin colour check done ? If not that can make a big difference , normally you will be given a chart of combatible colours . Also check your glasses style , do they change the shape of your face , maybe take picturtes when dressed with and without glasses to see how much difference it makes . Then you can give clothing a thought , are you wearing the right styles for your shape ? There are plenty of guides on the internet and clothing suppliers , even glossy magazines run features on clothes for the right bodyshape . Forget what others do and concentrate what works for you , I believe you can do it and the great thing is you have a supportive partner , it's twice as hard without .

[sarah_hillcrest]

Hey thanks for the positive vibes and all the advice Teresa. I did a few pictures of what you said today. I tried a wig shop but didn't get a response and I'm not ready to go spend big money on a wig, I think what I bought will be a good middle ground, I'll know tomorrow! :)

I occasionally get this sinking feeling I'm on the fast track to being a freak, and when I saw these two it confirmed it. Now there's nothing wrong with being a freak, but I don't really want to be one. I think the problem was the guy was almost perfectly stuck between two genders, even clothing was half women's, half men's.

[Beverley Sims]

Don't think along those lines, at least you realise what the other side can be like.

You have plenty of opportunity to map out a future for yourself and your wife will help you I am sure.

[Helen_Highwater]

Sarah,

The camera does lie. It's no different to meeting your fave sports or film star and discovering they're real A holes in person.

Just keep the faith and carry on with your life.

[alwayshave]

Sarah, What you're seeing online is advertisement. So that they look different in real life is not surprising. For example, my avatar is from a professional makeover, its a lot different from my recent picture posted in April.