thought about objection to our existence

[Sarahgurl371]

Ever wonder why men have such a tough time accepting males who are either "gender queer" or bi/homosexual? We seem to be lumped into the same category by "straight laced heterosexual males" in this society.

I had an interesting tought. Most guys I know see an attractive woman, and by attractive I mean anything, there are so many different opinions on what is and isn't attractrive that most members of the opposite sex can be found attractive to some one. Anyway, they see an attractive women and most thoughts turn sexual. The woman becomes an object of male desire. The male wants to have the female. It seems humans are just wired that way. The propagation of the species and all.

So is it that as a "straight laced hetero male" that they can not handle being made the object of someone else's desire? At least not someone they are attracted to?

Doesn't it seem a little hypocritical? Its Ok for me to look at you as an object, but don't look at me that way.

[Yes I am]

There are too many people who live their lives in a box, and anything that doesn't fit in that box confuses and angers them.

[Shelly Preston]

So many people are scared of something different.
You can argue we are not different, but we are percieved as different therefore causing some people a problem.

also ther is the typical macho male who cant bear the thought of being attracaed to our group untill he find out our true gender.

[BethGG]

You know, they did a study where they attached sensors to 2 groups of guys genitals. One group was not homophobic, the second group was. They then played gay porn for both groups. Wouldn't ya know, according to the sensors, the homophobic group had more "genital activity" then the nonhomophobic :devil: :p So yeah, I'm convinced that people who are all freaked out by gay people are secretly afraid they're gay (and probably are lol).

[Teresa Amina]

Do we touch that part of peoples souls which doubt their own Identity?
"If they can be that way, what then am I?"

[Aileen]

As a good liberal I have no objection to what anyone does together, but surely it's possible for me to be disgusted by gay male sex without there being some hidden reason for it?

[Melinda G]

Might have something to do with survival of the species. Many animals will turn on one of their own and kill it, if they sense it is somehow defective. Just a little observation from watching the nature shows.

[Snookums]

Melinda good point,my dad used to think I was defective,he always treated me as if I were a nusince that had to be disposed of,not a human being,I did not fit his interpritation of normal.Whats normal? Normal is whatever fits the individual.

[Paula Jaye]

People fear what they don't understand. Difference can be difficult for some to understand. A natural reaction to fear is to fight the cause of the fear.

[HaleyPink2000]

That could be a question in the beginning of a very large book written on the subject. My only idea on the matter would be that I'm a hetro male also, HMMM? I don't have Bi feelings at all! When dressed I still have feelings for my female SO. My Wife, none other. Yes I look at women, but being honest, mostly to see how they dress and their hair styles. Very seldom do I look at a woman and think about sex. It's very past that time in my life. I'm 54 and just don't really care about it much. So anyway I hope tat answers your question some more.

[Julie Avery]

I'm not at all sure that the percentage of men who react unfavorably to a crossdressing male is higher than the percentage of women who react similarly. I have wracked my brain trying to figure out where the hostility comes from and have no answer.

[gennee]

I agree with YesIAm. But that's nothing new. Anybody that presents something new or different is scorned. I think that's why I am somewhat of an eccentric. I have always liked things out of the ordinary. Maybe that's why I crossdress. Following my nature.


GENNEE

[livy_m_b]

I'm not at all sure that the percentage of men who react unfavorably to a crossdressing male is higher than the percentage of women who react similarly. I have wracked my brain trying to figure out where the hostility comes from and have no answer.

My impression is that for men, the hostility often comes from the fact that 1) they are attracted or 2) they feel you have tricked or are trying to trick them into being attracted (even a second glance is enough to make them think that was your intention - and men almost always give a second glance!), and for women because they feel you are 1) pretending to be something you are not or 2) are somehow ridiculing or caricaturing women generally. There are other reasons, but these are very commonly given. It's interesting that for ftm's women's reason 1) seems to apply to men.

If you consider the difference between men's reasons and women's reasons, you can relate to why women also tend to be more accepting: they have nothing at stake sexually and if you admit you're just who you are, they often seem to react with "oh,okay" and give helpful suggestions.

[Cathy Anderson]

Ever wonder why men have such a tough time accepting males who are either "gender queer" or bi/homosexual?
No trouble at all. I just accept that these guys are threatened by their own repressed feminine and homoerotic tendencies. Or by an unrealistic fear that they have such tendencies.


So is it that as a "straight laced hetero male" that they can not handle being made the object of someone else's desire?
No. I think the problem is that they are afraid of their own femininity.


seem a little hypocritical?
"hypocrite" is an over-used word. There's a difference between projection and hypocisy. Also, in one case we're dealing with a socially conventional behavior (male-female attraction) and in the other an unconventional one (male-male attraction). So it's neither hypcritical nor contradictory to accept the former and deny the latter.

Cathy

[Nikki A.]

I think that some great points have been made. I also believe that it is the fear of not understanding something that is different that what they were brought up to believe. Maybe for some it is fear of being attracted and thus "gay".
Obviously some of us have been watching Animal planet, in which case you know that there are some animals that can change their sex.

[Corillis]

Well said Cathy! That is easily the most intelligent response to the same line of questioning I've heard time and time again. I'm not gonna lie...I'm impressed...touche!