View Full Version : I don’t have a female alter ego
TolerantCD
08-07-2018, 03:56 PM
Hi.
I noticed some people here have come up with names and have personified their alter egos.
That seems not to be the case with me, I have no female alter ego, or not yet at least.
Is this because my cross dressing is due to the fact that I have a cross dressing fetish? Or is it just that I have now yet fully developed depth and experience in cross dressing?
Charlotte-Jones
08-07-2018, 04:04 PM
I don't really have an alter ego perse.
Its more of a pseudonyme i suppose. I very much feel like myself expressing myself in ways I wouldn't otherwise when en femme.
For me, irs more of a tool to compartmentalise it all if that makes any sense.
Charlotte is simply what I call myself when dabbling with dressing etc.
Lana Mae
08-07-2018, 04:13 PM
Lana Mae is just to ID my feminine side which is part of me! It defines the feminine me! Dressed as a lady would you want to be called your male name? Think about it! Hugs Lana Mae
I've known from a very early age that Lisa is really who I am. I don't think of her as an alter ego, all of me is Lisa.
Robertacd
08-07-2018, 04:30 PM
I don't have an alter ego,
I don't have a woman living inside me.
DRAG or DRAB, I am the same person, with the same thoughts, fears, and desires.
My forum name is just the feminine of my real name, with CD tacked on the end because I am a crossdresser.
Jaylyn
08-07-2018, 04:33 PM
Same with me as many on here my name on here is just my femme name that I use. It is me when in female mood, and dressed. Jethro just doesn't sound femmine so I use Jaylyn. It's not an alter ego but just me.
GracieRose
08-07-2018, 04:46 PM
Not necessarily an alter ego.
It's just me trying to find myself buried under 60 years of suppression.
TolerantCD
08-07-2018, 04:55 PM
Hope you have succeeded and your real self has surfaced and is alive and well
Steph_CD_62
08-07-2018, 05:08 PM
I do not have an alter ego either, I don't even have a female name I call myself.
I just love the feel of women's clothing and I am much more relaxed when I am dressed.
MarinaTwelve200
08-07-2018, 05:54 PM
I don't either----I call my alter form "Marina" but only for purposes of communication and convenience. My MALE self is my "REAL SELF"-----Being an ESCAPIST CD I use CD simply to "get away from or "take a vacation from my real self", every so often to relax and unwind
Its interesting how us CDers are generally in TWO camps. "Escapists" who CD to get away from their "real Selves" and The OTHERS (Don't know what to call them)who CD to BECOME their "Real Selves" (Like "TS Lite", so to speak)
Valentina_Rossi
08-07-2018, 06:13 PM
Hi!!!!
@Marina: I think i actually belong to a third category: I dress to express my female side, but it is neither an escape from self, or my "real" self. It is more like another part of me - but myself in the end - with different qualities heightened.
I actually think that names have quite some power: they can be used to define or describe precisely something that was nebulous, and by that, give it a concise quality.
In my case, my feminine personality cristalized - from a hazy set of feminine qualities - once I found my name. One could argue that it might have been the other way around. But I am a romantic, at heart❤❤❤
Love love
Val💋
dana digs sweaters
08-07-2018, 06:20 PM
Alter ego? Why not? Go for it!
Presenting in public as a woman? Kind of need a name to go with your looks.
Hiding behind a keyboard? Endless possibilities as one desires.
docrobbysherry
08-07-2018, 07:52 PM
Tolerant, after stumbling onto this site after 10 years of dressing in a complete vacuum? I waited 3 years expecting my "female side" to appear!:battingeyelashes:
As it happens, I don't have one! Then, I thot I was simply a CD who gets off on dressing! Until I began going out with other T girls to events around the country. Where I discovered a commonality with almost all of them and no interest in sex at all!:hugs:
Turns out I seem to have a female spirit. Or, so I've been told. :brolleyes:
My point is; if u dress for a long period of time, and your desire and presentation keep increasing in intensity? U have some sort of female identity! Whether u r aware of it or not!:heehee:
Solange
08-07-2018, 08:00 PM
TolerantCD: I doubt there's a single answer to your question. I actually have several alter-egos. I suspect it comes from writing erotica and creating characters. Dressing up is a creative expression for me and I luv to explore. But being femme is simply part of me.
Yukihime
08-07-2018, 08:18 PM
After many years of playing as female characters on online games, a certain amount of persona development was to be expected... :D
That said, characterization of my female side is, as another sister mentioned, a convenient way to compartmentalize the entire thing, so that it doesn't overlap into one's male life too much as to cause problems. I've already accepted both sides of me as the same person.
Felicia M
08-07-2018, 08:21 PM
Honestly I didn't really think of a name for my alter ego or feminine side until I found this site and started lurking here over a year ago. And then it really hit me how awesome of an idea that was "to name the
feminine side of me". I toyed with several names but Felicia really stuck and I find now that the name and the feelings she engenders continue to grow and surprise me. I would recommend to begin searching
for a name that you feel fits the essence of 'her' soul and see what captures you. Truly a lovely experience.
Sami Brown
08-07-2018, 08:36 PM
According to Marina, I am "TS Lite". I feel that the name Sami personifies my real self. For the record, Sami looks and sounds nothing like my given name.
My path to the name came after discovering my real self, rather than needing the name in order to to feel real. It's like icing on a cake. I needed the cake before I wanted to choose the right icing, the one perfect for my cake.
Sami
biancabellelover
08-08-2018, 12:26 AM
Hi TolerantCD,
For me, Michelle is not so much an alter ego, but a female version of myself. When I’m dressed I’m still the same person with the same values, morals, tastes, etc, but expressed in a more feminine way. So my female name is an adaptation of my male name.
For some it can be an alter ego or an escape from themselves. Everyone is different, as you’ve seen from some of the responses already.
But names can be powerful. If your female side IS an alter ego, think about who you want to create.
Michelle.
Ceera
08-08-2018, 01:10 AM
Quite a few guys like cross dressing, without feeling they are in any way female themselves. They may simply like the clothes, with no sexual connection. They may have a fetish for wearing women's clothes, and get turned on by it. But either way, they still identify firmly as male. They probably don't feel any need for breast forms, wigs or makeup either. For them, there is no need for a feminine persona. (Or vice versa, gender wise, for women who prefer male clothes but still identify firmly as female.)
Others, like me, feel they have a partial or completely feminine mind, despite having a male body. In addition to wearing the clothes, they try, as best they can, to look and act reasonably well like a cisgender woman, when they are seen in public while dressed. Maybe, when they dress up fully, they can pass in general public situations as a cisgender female, and maybe not. Maybe they want to transition fully so their body matches their mind in gender, or maybe not. But they feel better talking about that side of themselves, or introducing themselves to others, when they use a name that matches their gender identity or presentation. If you are approaching passability in your female presentation, it kind of blows it when you say your name is something clearly male, like Robert or George. Being Roberta, or Georgette, or Amelia (something completely unrelated to our male name) makes the transformation to female more complete. (Or vice versa, gender wise, for women who prefer male clothes and presenting fully as a male.)
I go out in public a lot, and pass or at least am fully accepted as being female. I do my best to look, act and sound like a cisgender woman, and I believe I succeed. I hope now to eventually fully transition to female, legally and surgically. Even though I have a unisex given name as a male, I chose a very different feminine name to differentiate my life as a woman from my former life as a male.
Beverley Sims
08-08-2018, 02:30 AM
Maybe you are not far enough down the track yet.
The requirements for cross dressing is to obtain a stash of womens clothes you might like to wear.
Forget all this alter ego stuff.
That's for theorists.
Get dressed and get on with it. :-)
Becky Blue
08-08-2018, 02:33 AM
I dont have an Alter Ego so to speak... I am one person who has duality of gender, I am mostly male on the outside and more female on the inside. Becky is me, I just have to hide her away quite often.
TolerantCD, for almost 30 years I was like you, but then very suddenly everything changed and since 2005 I have been like me, you may well stay where you are or your Female side may well emerge one day.
Queen Bridget
08-08-2018, 05:31 AM
I don't either. My name here was just randomly picked so I didn't have to use my real one.
I don't change my personality or voice when dressed either. It's still just me, only in a dress and wig.
Micki_Finn
08-08-2018, 08:36 AM
The name is just part of the presentation. Kinda jarring to get all pretty then having to introduce yourself as “Bob” or whatever. Being a CD does not require a split personality. Honestly, I feel like the girls who refer to their fem selves in the third person are often “playing it safe” by keeping things at an arms distance. When I dress it’s not to become someone else but to express a part of myself.
StephanieH
08-08-2018, 10:08 AM
I suppose I'm two sides of the same coin. I'm never fully separated in either mode, but when I'm dressed I do feel very much different than when I'm not. When in guy mode, however, I find myself all the time critiquing other ladies for wearing the wrong shoes or clothes or doing all sorts of crazy things, and my wife thinks that's terribly amusing. I do too for that matter, I've always done it and it wasn't something I was aware of until she pointed it out, and now it's just kinda' funny.
When I am in full-bore Stephanie mode, however, I definitely see the world through a different set of lenses. Unfortunately, "full bore" mode is very rare indeed.
Stephanie47
08-08-2018, 10:36 AM
Interesting comment by Marina (#10) and Sami (#17)...."TS Lite." A counselor I see for combat related PTSD holds to the concept that each man or woman has component of the opposite sex within his or her dna. In some it is greater than others. For me that may explain many aspects of my life through seven decades. Sometimes I am more comfortable with beliefs and actions more represented by females in our society than males. Sometimes the male dna dominates. I see wearing women's clothing as a way to aid in expressing that female element inside me. It's not a fetish. It may explain why sometimes I am totally comfortable wearing my favorite retiree attire of cut off shorts, tee shirt and no socks, and, other times a pretty dress, hosiery and heels.
It would be logical for purposes of self expression to adopt a feminine name. Stephanie is the feminine of my male birth name. If I was born a girl I would have been named after my grandmother, Stefi. Since I dearly loved my grandmother I am honored to adopt that name.
Although I may look like a "man in a dress," I feel like a woman in dress.
Mandy T
08-08-2018, 10:54 AM
I would not say that I have an alter ego. Rather Mandy and Mark both exist with in me. Mark is very manly working on cars and riding off road motorcycles. Mandy on the other hand is fem. loves to shop and cook and hang out with friends. One cant take the others place and both are needed for me to express my self.
Mandy
I don't have one either. Asew is just a name I used for video gaming where I always chose a female character if possible. But for me I was never trying to be a woman.
Victoria_Winters
08-08-2018, 04:19 PM
Ok. I wouldn’t say I have an alter ego. I just have a name I use for en femme. I just think it feels weird to see a woman being called by a very exclusive male name. In my mind my name doesn’t define me. It’s just a word/label that I respond to. I don’t think personally that any name defines any person. When I was younger (early twenties) I looked very much like a girl even my hands were very dainty. I have been very sad as I have aged I have grown to Beverly much more male in my build.
I used to video chat while playing games and I would use my ‘female name’ since I presented myself as female.
Teresa
08-08-2018, 04:50 PM
I'm not sure if an alter ego is the inevitable outcome of living in a DADT situation , she only comes out of the closet when no one else is around .
Could the alter ego also be part of mild GD , bringing the two together brings some peace and comfort ? I've kept it simpler to deal with by adopting a female name derived from my male one , the more I dress the easier it gets to slide from one to other , at some point I may just find I haven't gone back , I'm considering using Terri as I progress , it's not because I want to hold onto the male side , I have to accept it has it's uses sometimes , I just want to be me but in a more female form for the time being I accept I have an alter ego .
Bobbi46
08-08-2018, 05:05 PM
My alter ego is Bobbi the woman that so wants to be more out than I am at the moment, this hot weather has been a bit of a downer in a way.
Tracy Irving
08-08-2018, 06:22 PM
No alter ego here either. Just happy to be me. I exist, therefore I am.
Picked a mostly female name because I was a sheep. It was my name, had I been born a girl. Laziness prevents me from changing it to something I prefer.
DIANEF
08-08-2018, 06:43 PM
Diane is just a part of me, not a separate entity, though I understand why people might use such a term to describe their femme self. Right from the earliest days I had a name, I think it was something silly like, 'if I was girl my name would be..', and I chose a name I liked.
Tracii G
08-08-2018, 07:03 PM
Its different for everybody so its whatever that person wants it to be.
You don't have to have an alter ego if you don't want one. There are no right and wrong ways to do what we do.
I don't have a fem alter-ego. As a miad i think genderblurred is the closest description i have found yet. As my signature states, i'm somewhere in-between. It's still me inside however i am dressed, just sometimes happier and more relaxed.
My choice of a fem name is mainly for anonymity at this stage, altho i do really like the name anyway. (The name is nothing to do with hair-straighteners btw! :doh:)
Clodagh
08-09-2018, 05:21 AM
For me its just an anonymous sudonym. I dont think of myself as being Clodagh, and when people address me as Clodagh online it feels a bit weird.
Courtney_29
08-09-2018, 07:56 AM
for me it does feel like an alter ego lol sometimes at least since once i get my makeup on and put even just the wig cap on its it for me 😆. but yea i understand what some people are saying it’s just a part of their normal personality. i find myself slipping feminine gestures sometimes at work and in public though but o well i’ll embrace it.
sometimes_miss
08-09-2018, 02:06 PM
I don't either. My name here was just randomly picked so I didn't have to use my real one.
I don't change my personality or voice when dressed either. It's still just me, only in a dress and wig.
^this. When I first came here, it seemed everyone had adopted a female name for themselves, so I did the same. For about 99% of us, there is no 'alter ego'. It's all just us. What you commonly see when someone refers to themselves in third parson as a female name, is their attempt to distance themselves from the female behavior and feelings, most likely because they were brought up to believe that for a boy to be feminine in any way, was the most terrible thing he could be; so it's pretty natural for us to develop some psychological mechanisms to protect our minds from the conflicts that might result from admitting that we do, indeed have feminine thoughts, feelings and inherent behaviors which have become natural to us.
Call me Lexi, Alex, whatever. Just don't call me late for dinner.
CynthiaD
08-09-2018, 03:09 PM
I don't have a female alter ego. I'm female all the time. My apparent "male side" is just an act to keep up appearances.
jacques
08-09-2018, 04:18 PM
Hello,
I don't ave a femme name or alternative personality. I am not trying to imitate a woman; I just like cross-dressing.
My pseudonym is male.
I am me in a dress or not in a dress.
We are all different, which is what makes this site so helpful and interesting,
luv J
Confucius
08-09-2018, 04:37 PM
I don't have a female alter-ego either.
I don't have a need to use a female name, and my personality doesn't change when I crossdress.
I am the same person independent of how I dress. It's just who I am.
JessicasRabbit
08-10-2018, 04:09 PM
I don't have a femme alter ego, persona, etc. My handle here is a play on my wife's name.
I am not trying to BE a woman. I DO enjoy dressing the part when I can.
KelleyB
08-10-2018, 07:58 PM
I'm another with no female alter-ego.
Name is a slight modification of a given name, and I'm always a man in a dress/skirt/bra/slip.
I merely quite enjoy dressing in what are considered womens' clothes.
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