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View Full Version : Out on my own!!!



randi_789
03-18-2006, 11:23 AM
Friday I was off again, needed to dress, and wanted to get out. No longer is just dressing enough, especially after Wednesday. With that desire present I did my makeup, except for wig and lipstick, dressed similarly to what I wore on Wednesday except this time I wore a loafer type shoe and a semi see through blouse in black and floral. I snuck out of the house, as well as one can sneak in broad daylight, after grabbing my purse and my wife's coat, which I now consider mine. LOL! Then I drove to the rest area as I did for my first outing a couple weeks ago. This time there was no Xanax involved. I was doing this totally on my own. At the rest area I donned my wig, put on my lipstick, slipped on my wife's jacket and off the the post office I went. I went in, checked my mailbox and found that a gaff I had ordered had arrived. It was in the box so no need to go to the counter. Then back on the road to the mall. I was going to go in one of the main entrances, but went in through Lord & Taylor. I parked, got out, made sure I was all in order, sometimes the seatbelt moves my breasts so they don't look normal. Then into the store. I had a confidence I didn't know I possessed. I slowly walked through the aisles, stopping to look at some clothes, and then out into the mall. It wasn't crowded at 10:30 and that was good. I walked along doing some window shopping and then sat on a bench and watched people, seeing if anyone was watching me. Noone paid me any attention. Then I continued my walking and finally got to my favorite store. Yep, Payless Shoes. I walked right in without hesitation, right past the cashier who said hi and I replied hi. Then over to the size 10s and 11s. I must have been there fifteen or twenty minutes trying on shoes. I was in heaven. :-) She even came over one time to see if I needed help finding something but I said no I was fine. Then finally I had to drag myself away and left the store without buying anything. I have way too many shoes now. I can't hide many more. I walked some more, sat some more, and then knew that I would have to leave. No lunch this time because I was alone and the courage and confidence I have doesn't cover that. LOL!! The next time I will definitely buy something from some store so I have to pay. On the way out when I was going up the escalator in Lord & Taylor I looked at myself in the mirrors lining the wall. I saw a woman. Not a man in drag, but a woman. That is the first time that has happened. I really didn't want to leave, but I had to get home because there were some things I had to do. So, back out on the road, reversing the process at the rest area and then home.

What is next? How do i satisfy the desire to do more and more each time?

Rikkicn
03-18-2006, 02:02 PM
You satisfy the desire to do more and more by doing more and more.
It's all new and exciting to you and your having fun playing and experiementing. Keep enjoying what your doing.
Eventually, if your like me, you'll reach a point where your just comfortable being your self and you'll go out when you need or want to.
I wold suggest joining a support group. this will give your trips more purpose and may be more fullfilling
Rikki
Glad your having so much fun.
What did it feel like to look in the mirror ans see the real you?