Easier to tell your friends?

[Hozeguy]

Does anyone find it’s easier to tell your girl friends about crossdressing rather than your significant other? I’ve told a few of my friends but I don’t think I could tell my wife.

[AllieSF]

I told those closest to me first. So, my first conversations were not easy nor extremely difficult. They just had more on the line with family and friend's relationships. Either way, I could see how telling a more distant relationship person, not real close, but trusting all the same, may be a lot more easier because their is less on the line so to speak. Losing a second level friend is not the same as losing a family or loved ones friendship.

[Beverley Sims]

In many ways it can be easier to tell acquaintances about your dressing adventures.

[Tracy Irving]

My wife was the first person I told. It was before we were married. I wanted to give her the option to bolt.

[Mistyjo]

My wife and kids were the first ones l told. It's not an easy subject to talk about but it's is a lot easier to be honest about things then try to explain after getting caught

[Charlotte7]

My wife was the first person I told. It was before we were married. I wanted to give her the option to bolt.

For me it wasn't only before we we're married, it was at the point I knew that things were moving forwards with the relationship. In that way, she had the option to leave, and if she did, then it would have been easier for me to get over too.

[bridget thronton]

Wife was first - hard to do, but less risky than telling a female friebd

[Courtney_29]

i’m single but i told a few people including my mother and sister through text message to break the ice then explain further in person next time i saw them. i just couldn’t do it cold face to face but i would tell a significant other in the future easier now though since i’ve had good reactions so far.

[Angela Marie]

Same here. Once I knew it could develop into a long term relationship I told her. I thought it was the right thing to do.
For me it wasn't only before we we're married, it was at the point I knew that things were moving forwards with the relationship. In that way, she had the option to leave, and if she did, then it would have been easier for me to get over too.

[Nicki nylons]

The 1st person I told was my wife Before we got married Was the hardest thing I've ever done But it worked out better than I ever could have Imagin'd Great woman

- - - Updated - - -

The 1st person I told was my wife and before we got married was the hardest thing I've ever done

[Micki_Finn]

You are in UNBELIEVABLY dangerous territory here! You’ve told friends but not your wife? When she finds out (which she will, they always do) the shitstorm will be exponentially worse if your friends know but you’ve been dishonest with your wife all along.

[mattea]

You are in UNBELIEVABLY dangerous territory here! You’ve told friends but not your wife? When she finds out (which she will, they always do) the shitstorm will be exponentially worse if your friends know but you’ve been dishonest with your wife all along.

I second Micki's comment! I know it is a terribly hard thing to do, but she is right, it is very likely that your wife will see this as you being dishonest even if that was not your intent, which leads to the normal questioning that everyone does, "if they are not telling the truth about this, what else is wrong with this relationship?".

I can get that is seems easier and you can open up to others rather than your spouse, that is a very important relationship that you don't want to throw away by bringing in something that might cause trouble, but by opening up something so intimate to others, that mistake might be even more costly. Just my two cents! I sincerely wish you luck!

Mattea

[Teresa]

Hozeguy,
It's probably best to bite the bullet and tell the wife /partner first , she really should be the first to know otherwise it could come back to haunt you . I've found recently that even good friends can let you down badly, the outcome wasn't good .

[Teri Ray]

It was not easy to have the talk with my wife but it was the best thing I have ever done. Being honest with your wife is so much better. Keeping the lines of communication open is also important. Never easy but always worth it.

[docrobbysherry]

You're "girlfriends"? Do u mean GG's? If so, I don't think you'll be married long enuff for it make a difference if u tell your soon be ex, or not!:straightface:

[Asew]

I told my wife first, then she helped me telling everyone else which definitely made that easier. But telling her took some liquid courage and multiple attempts :)

[Bobbi46]

I have no SO to tell but last year I found I had to tell my closest friends after that opening up to others to prevent both malicious gossip ( theres always some) but also ill informed versions of my telling to go the rounds and as I worked my way round my friends the telling became easier and the best thing that came out of it all was that I lost not one of my friends.

[Swottie]

As with a lot of difficult issues in life, it's easier to share to friends and acquaintances as it doesn't affect them, and there's no baggage of direct impact. If they don't like it, it doesn't matter. Having said that, it's probably not a good idea to tell acquaintances before you tell your SO as IMHO it is even bigger a betrayal than withholding the secret from them in the first place. If you're going tell anyone, it ought to be your SO first, it will be the most difficult to tell, but the most important.

[giuseppina]

When you do this, Hozeguy, you're telling your wife you don't trust her. She WILL find out sometime, and if it's via someone you told, there will be multiple contaminated ventilators pointed at you.

Better tell her before she sees this thread on your computing device. It's time to come clean. I doubt she will be impressed with you, but you brought this on yourself.

[KatrinaK]

Hozeguy, there’s a pretty consistent throughline to this thread and I can’t impress upon you enough to listen to the advice you’re getting. However difficult you thought it was gonna be is going to be 10x worse if she finds out on her own and apocalyptic if she finds out she was the last to know.

It’s time to put your big girl pants on and do what needs to be done.

[Traci H]

Yikes! Easier perhaps but not better. My wife knows of my “soft” side, but I’m sure she would have been very hurt and/or mad if I had told others beforehand. (No others know except a therapist)
My recommendation is to tell her soon, before she is hurt by some other method.