Does your therapist/counsellor object to you dressing ?

[Teresa]

I was just replying to SaraSometimes about dressing when seeing her therapist , it's also a similar question from Hozeguy .

Does your therapist / counsellor object to you dressing when attending sessions ? On the surface if there are any objections they could be in the wrong occupation but I do wonder if there any guidelines they may work to .

Going back some twenty years or so when I saw my first counsellor , he told me about a CDer who started the sessions by attending fully dressed and masturbating in the corner of the room . I told him I had no intentions of doing that , he just shrugged his shoulders and said , " Whatever !" I did wonder after that who counsels the therapist ?

[AllieSF]

Here in the USA therapists usually have to get personal counseling ever so often, maybe 1-3 years apart unless one of the sessions may indicate the need for more. They do that to help the therapists keep sane and to prevent maybe an eventual "loose nut" from doing something detrimental; to one of their patients.

Now, a therapists should not care how his or her clients dress when coming to therapy. Of course, a very different presentation should encourage the therapist to investigate the "Why" for their patient's presentation.

As to the "Whatever" that your therapist said, that to me sounds a little uncaring in reply to what you said, or maybe I misunderstand what you meant by that. For me, I probably would have asked, "What do you mean by "Whatever"?' It sounds so dismissive, which therapists should not be!

[Teresa]

Allie,
I was seeing him privately and two sessions cost me £180.00 , at the end of second session I called it a day because he insisted on seeing me jointly with my wife , she had already refused , he then passed me back to my GP suggesting a high dosage of Prozac .

The " Whatever !" comment did come over as very cavalier . He was the guy that insisted we weren't born with the trait , my gut feeling told me he was wrong but obviously that was before the thinking began to change on the whole TG issue . A CDer to him was typified by the client he'd described purely fetish !

[ellbee]

...he told me about a CDer who started the sessions by attending fully dressed and masturbating in the corner of the room.

:confused3:


I'm not sure how to respond to that.

Though I do feel for both of them... :(

[Desiree2bababe]

I was 17 with my psychiatrist, still a virgin and devout heterosexual, so I thought at the time. The doctor goes into this erotic story about a transvestite and a man. The story went into much graphic sexual detail and as I listened, I began to notice he had a massive tent pole in his slacks. After the story, he asked me about my feelings on the stories content and if I would find being with a man as a women sexually appealing. I got so mad and scared at the thoughts he injected into my mind, I rose up and yelled, "I am not a homosexual" and stormed out.

I believe that was the last visit I paid to him, even though he was closer to my true sexuality than he'd ever been before. I was just too young to admit it to myself.

[Beverley Sims]

That is an extreme case Teresa, if a therapist discouraged dressing these days it would be a sign to look for another therapist, unless a reason for refusal was given.

[alwayshave]

Teresa and Desiree, those are terrible stories, awful behavior from a so called professionals. I have been thinking about seeing a counselor for some issues I have been dealing with, unrelated to my dressing, but this gives me pause.

[Shelly Preston]

Teresa

I cant understand why they would object to anyone turning up dressed but I guess they had a different attitude back then.

They are supposed to be there to help

The suggestion that it would be good for your wife to attend is one thing but insisting I would say is crossing the line.

Its clear that thinking then was outdated.

Why would the therapist even allow anyone to masturbate in their office ?

[SaraLin]

Just for the sake of discussion...

I CAN imagine a case where the therapist would advise against his/her client coming in dressed.
Perhaps the client isn't really emotionally or mentally ready to take that step, and a little gentle discouragement is needed.
I can see (and almost hear in my head) the therapist saying something like "I know that this is a big step for you. Do you think you're really ready for it?"

Now that I've said that - I have to agree that if the therapist has a personal issue with it - get the heck away before more damage is inflicted!

[Kimberly Adams]

I have never gone dressed to therapy but have had more than my fair share of "therapy". Never discussed my fetish for dressing with anyone other than my wife. She has been very supportive. I recently had a major falling out with my psychiatrist after he spoke to my wife about my treatment without my consent and lied to her about my medication. Have a new doc now. Not sure if I want to share my dressing with her. Would like to find someone that specializes in TG issues and start fresh. Masturbating in the corner @ therapy, that is just not cool. I'm a mess but that sh!t is just wierd.

[Teresa]

Shelly,
The bottom line was he didn't really care , TG issues hadn't surfaced as they have now , so It was something I would just have to get over possibly with his help if I paid him enough money and that was all he was bothered about . As for letting clients do their own thing , what did it matter to him he got paid just to sit there and watch the guy or maybe read the newspaper while he did his thing !

Jamie ,
Don't let it put you off this incident was a good twenty years ago , my up to date experiences have worked out fine .

[Pat]

I have been thinking about seeing a counselor for some issues I have been dealing with, unrelated to my dressing, but this gives me pause.

Do not let one story put you off getting help if you feel you need it. But do understand that there are a lot of therapists out there and it's important to find one that matches your need and your personality. Pick a few counselors before going to anyone and give them a phone screen -- do they have experience in whatever thing you're looking for help with? How much? What kind of outcomes have they had? During the screen try to figure out if they have a personality you can work with -- are they too serious? Are they too flippant? etc. After you find one you think might do, go to the first appointment thinking that you might not click and be prepared to move on to the next one.

Once you find a good match, you'll be happy you did.

[Teresa]

Pat,
I guess I was very lucky to get two who I could work with but then I'm OK with most people , if they are professional they know how to be flexible with their clients . Besides I had little choice because my GP referred me on both occassions but as it was with the NHS I'm not sure if I could have swapped about anyway .

Going back to the one in my story I had no choice then because my wife worked with all the therapists in the same NHS building so she forced me into going privately , looks like she got that wrong and I paid the price .

[Stephanie47]

I did wonder after that who counsels the therapist ?

Sometimes I wonder if some therapists chose that occupation so they can psychoanalyze themselves.

[docrobbysherry]

The only reasons I can imagine a therapist wanting to see a client dressed was if that was how they were normally, or if the client's personality changed when dressed!:straightface:

Otherwise, the outfit could be a distraction. I doubt a legitimate counselor would care to spend time judging and discussing clothes rather than the client's motivation, interest, and problems caused by them!

[Sarasometimes]

If how you dress is an issue for your therapist they clearly don't work with transgendered persons.

I have found that asking if you can dress and not getting a come however you wish reply is a HUGE RED flag for me. If I had asked that of the many untrained (in gender issues) therapist I went to years ago I would have saved a ton of time and money.

Doc, My recent post is about going to my therapist under dressed and how she noticed that it changed how well I made eye contact so there are good reasons to go dressed if you so desire.

The clothing could but I don't think it would be too likely to be a distraction if your therapist is trained and capable.

[Paige Dehart]

Jamie, It's more about finding the right therapist. A good one can help immensely. My SO has an excellent one in the DC area.