My decades old secret is no more...

[Helen 2]

....and I am so blessed for it.

Sunday afternoon our daughter was over for dinner and since my wonderful but DADT wife is away, I had been enjoying some Maria Elena (Helen) time.
I thought I had completely and thoroughly put everything away, double and triple checked everything but lo and behold, a false fingernail had dropped to the floor I our bedroom and you guessed it, my daughter (30-some years old, a stunning, single gurl with an MBA) found it.

She immediately became suspicious of me having done something extra-marital and I had no choice but to confess, share my life story with her, and show her a picture or two which brought tons of tears of relief, care, love and understanding from her. We enjoyed several good cries, me of the memories and pain of my journeys and hers of love and relief....we hugged for what seemed hours....

We of course talked about someday she meeting Helen and today at around four today Tuesday she texted me wondering what I was doing for dinner and if I had no plans, she would buy us Thai food and come over so she could meet MarÃ*a Elena.

I left work a bit early and dressed in only 90 minutes (pics in the Video and Pictures gallery) and met her at the door when she arrived at 6:30, and we talked for hours over several glasses of wine, dinner and coffee -and yes, she loved me. She was floored at how I carried myself, the overall look, and just accepted me and told me she loved me more than ever. We talked a lot about her Mom and how she could see how and why my wife would not be comfortable with me en femme, how finally she is now able to piece many things together about me, particularly my uncharacteristically 'over-caring' for people, tenderness and other bits of my character that are sometimes at odds with my very male other persona. One of her phrases was beyond priceless: 'I have no doubt that you being comfortable as a women has made you a much better husband and father' -and I lost it.

So much weight off my shoulders, so wonderful to have a child who can appreciate and feel compassionate for me and this sometimes very lonely journey....I am so, so, so incredibly blessed.
And yes, next week we are going out together for dinner and drinks somewhere.....I'll post that too as well as a few pics.

Count me the most happy person on earth right now...so, so blessed.

Hugs all
MarÃ*a Elena (Helen)

[suzanne]

A truly beautiful story. I hope this translates into your wife relaxing her DADT position. Its easy to imagine your daughter having a chat with her, possibly easing her mind about the concerns she won't talk to you about.

One can hope. I am rooting for you.

[mbmeen12]

Congrads Hun and super happy for you and yours.

[Becky Blue]

What a lovely story, clearly you have brought up a fabulous daughter...

[Beverley Sims]

I do like it when the story turns out for the best.

Now is the time to get your wife on board, I am sure she would like a dinner out sometime. :-)

[dana digs sweaters]

Very nice story. Thanks for sharing Helen.

[Krea]

Helen, this is a wonderful post. It's always good to read about people being supportive. It's great that you have such a kind daughter. Best wishes for good progress. :)

[alwayshave]

MarÃ*a Elena, what a lovely story. Your daughter's comment was perfect and insightful. You raised her right. What happens if your wife finds out about the meeting?

[Crissy 107]

What a beautiful story Maria Elena and I can only imagine how fantastic it was to share your secret with your wonderful accepting daughter.
Crissy

[Samm]

Wonderful story Maria Elena. I'm very happy for you and your daughter. I often think about how my daughter would take me coming out to her. Probably not as well as yours. I can't really say that she'd be at all understanding or accepting. In a way, I hope I don't have to find out. But I would come clean if I thought it was absolutely necessary.
I'll be looking forward to your updates.

[Queen Bridget]

I love these kinds of threads. Always nice to hear someone being accepted and being so happy :)

[Elizabeth G]

Wow - what a story! Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

[Rayleen]

Beautiful story, enjoy your time you and daughter.

[Judy-Somthing]

That is so cool.

I started to tell my daughter two weeks ago but was interrupted buy her friend coming over.

My wife was angry at me again that I like dresses so much.
My daughter asked me "why is mom so mad at you?".

I felt it was time to tell my daughter so I said "you remember all the times I dressed up as a woman for Halloween?".
She said "so".... then the door-bell rang, it was her friend.

Well anyhow maybe I'll tell her someday.

[Sidney]

Beautiful story..

I told my daughter several years ago and have never regretted it. We have become very close and she thinks it's great having a Dad and two Moms. We go out several times a month for dinner and drinks and she has become my best friend and shopping buddy.

[Lana Mae]

Great! You raised a great daughter as well! Best wishes! Hugs Lana Mae

[GretchenM]

OMG, what a beautiful story. You are blessed in so many ways. It is so liberating to be able to spill the beans about yourself to someone who understands. My youngest daughter is a bit like yours. As a mental health therapist she deals with various types of trans young people at the university where she works and so she understands it so well. My wife is barely DADT and has suggested that I just be myself. I say that I think I am being myself because myself is far more expansive than the normal masculine male. It just bounces off. Stereotypical thinking tends to blind people. I love her dearly (almost 50 years together), but dang she can be rigid sometimes. (Of course, I am NEVER that way. :battingeyelashes: )

One thing you said is very interesting. It was, "...she is now able to piece many things together about me, particularly my uncharacteristically 'over-caring' for people, tenderness and other bits of my character that are sometimes at odds with my very male other persona." That is so significant as it shows that Maria Elena is a real entity, or rather identity. You may not be Maria all the time, but when you are it is no imaginary person or some sort of emulation type of thing. But you can also be your male persona and probably do so pretty comfortably as well. I may be wrong, but I suspect you can also be a lot of various blends of the two as well. So, that is not a dual identity but rather linked identities connected by states of combination that is applied in so many different situations. Over the last few years after I came out in my personal and daily life, Gretchen has gained more and more influence and confidence. Years and years of secrecy prevented her from actually growing very much. But most of the time I am blending my male persona with a newly freed and growing female persona. It is a collaboration rather than a competition. Just some thoughts that may or may not provide some fodder for consideration.

Thank you so very much for sharing this and I wish you the very best in your journey.

[kimdl93]

That’s a stunningly beautiful story. I’m happy for you and your daughter.

[Helen 2]

Ladies. thank you so much for all these wonderful posts and well-wishes...much appreciated. And tothose who said 'she is a wonderful girl', she is...sooooooo much and in so many ways.

And yes, dinner plans are in the offing.
;o)

Hugs all and best wishes
Maria Elena (Helen)

[Joyce Swindell]

Thanks for sharing this. I would like to share a copy of it with my local CD groups Facebook page if it's ok with you.

[Felicia M]

Such a beautiful story Maria Elena. You have a truly lovely daughter. I imagine this was so deeply touching. So happy for you.

[dana 1]

Fantastic story

[RADER]

What a wonderful story; Now maybe she can soften up your wife.
Good luck.
Rader

[Aunt Kelly]

As Lana MAE says, you have raised a wonderful daughter.
Thanks for brightening my day with a lovely story.

[Teresa]

Helen,
So pleased the accident resulted in a great ending , it's a lovely story .

I know how it feels because not only has my daughter met me but also her husband and daughter . My little granddaughter was a little taken back when she met me at my front door but we were soon playing chase and hide and seek . I've since dropped in on my daughter a couple of times , last time her neighbours from both sides were out in their front gardens , my daughter didn't bat an eyelid and neither did I . I did suggest we meet up somewhere for some shopping and lunch , she's pretty busy but will consider it .

[AllieSF]

Thank you for such a wonderful and loving story. I wish I could say the same about my daughter soon.

[Stephanie47]

It was really refreshing to read a story of acceptance and support. Happy it is working out for you.

[candice.aihara]

To echo most other peoples' comments congratulations for shedding that secret. Now life can be more pretty for you! Yay!

[Linda P.]

Incredibly beautiful, moving, story. You have found the love and acceptance that we all wish for.

[GracieRose]

Maria Elena,
I'm so happy for you.
My wife is mildly accepting, but very much fears someone else finding out.
I would love to talk with my daughters about it and would hope that they would be as accepting as yours daughter. That would be consistent with how I think that we raised them.
I do not plan to reveal myself to any of my children (or anyone else) while my wife is alive out of respect to her. (and statistically, she will probably outlive me.)
-Gracie

[Maria 60]

Wow! Wow! That is so wonderful I need some Kleenex. What a great story

[sarah_hillcrest]

so happy for you!

[Barbara Black]

A lovely story indeed. It beats my outing by a daughter by the words, "Oh my God, he's wearing a bra." and pulling my shirt out so she could see it. Then she came at me with a scissors and threatened to cut the clothes off of me. (I'm not quite sure of the logic in that?)
But now she accepts my dressing and has told my other daughter of course while she was still angry, although she has seen me in a dress, etc, she hasn't seen me with makeup or a wig. Her and her husband will come over while I'm dressed and have a normal meeting, but I still get some odd looks from her husband while I'm dressed. No problems though, I suspect he has a few questions to ask yet...