First Time Out. Tend-And-Befriend

[looking_good]

Dear Diary: Like many before, I made my very first voyage 'habillée comme une femme', did some shopping for clothes, spoke with a few SAs. Everyone survived. It was thrilling and terrifying. I’m glad I did it. Woo-woo! Plus I now own two new pair of really cute leggings.
I got something else from this adventure.
I am of a certain age. My body type and gait do not pass as female. So when my personal circus rolls up to the checkout counter the SA is getting an interaction that is – at a minimum - slightly out of the ordinary. While this may not be the SAs first rodeo, at least one of us is new at this and more than a little nervous.
Again like many before, I was fortunate to be treated with smiles and kindness. Just another day, just another circus. I was grateful and relieved. The SAs were female and I wondered if females react differently than males to unusual events.
It turns out they do
I asked Ms. Google about fight-or-flight reactions in men and women. From a study: "The aggressive fight-or-flight reaction is more dominant in men, while women predominantly adopt a less aggressive tend-and-befriend response."
For me this is a journey to learn about and respect some of the female aspects of being human. I am resolved to explore and develop my tend-and-befriend capacity.

[Brenda Freeman]

Glad your first adventure went well. I have had mostly positive interactions when shopping. It is heart pounding the first few times then you realize most people are busy with their own lives. The occasional smile from a woman and friendly SA's, are nice as we try to live our life as we wish. Have fun and be safe!

[kimdl93]

Interesting insight on gender related behavior!

[docrobbysherry]

Altho your post was "artistically" written, I found it a bit obscure, LG.
I gather u went on a shopping trip with a group of your SO's women friends dressed for the first time?:straightface:

Congrats!:thumbsup:

[Beverley Sims]

Is your personal circus just you or do you have a female entourage also?

[GretchenM]

Interesting, especially about consulting the Oracle (Ms. Google) and finding out about the differences between men and women in fight or flight situations. Another one of those big differences between male and female or, perhaps more accurately, between masculine and feminine behavior modes.

It is now known that males and females have some significant differences in the structure of certain parts of the brain, especially in those areas where emotion is generated. Wonder if this difference in fight or flight is influenced to some degree by the way the emotional brain works in males and females? Or if a person uses the feminine mode of dealing with the situation might indicate that the person a brain that is structured in kind of a "hybrid" form of male and female the neurologists talk about and are researching. Maybe someday that can be figured out, but, from my understanding, that is far, far beyond where the science is at this point with regard to explaining me and thee. Sees to be a good hypothesis though.

[looking_good]

Is your personal circus just you or do you have a female entourage also?
The circus in this case is was me and me alone.

BTW, I changed the version you originally read because I had used 'SO' instead of 'SA'. Big difference, yes? Who knew?

Thanks for your patience in finding your way through my muddled story. All in all it was a great adventure - despite my poor telling of the tale.



Interesting, especially about consulting the Oracle (Ms. Google) and finding out about the differences between men and women in fight or flight situations. Another one of those big differences between male and female or, perhaps more accurately, between masculine and feminine behavior modes.

It is now known that males and females have some significant differences in the structure of certain parts of the brain, especially in those areas where emotion is generated. Wonder if this difference in fight or flight is influenced to some degree by the way the emotional brain works in males and females? Or if a person uses the feminine mode of dealing with the situation might indicate that the person a brain that is structured in kind of a "hybrid" form of male and female the neurologists talk about and are researching. Maybe someday that can be figured out, but, from my understanding, that is far, far beyond where the science is at this point with regard to explaining me and thee. Sees to be a good hypothesis though.
Besides the fabulous clothes, I am enjoying learning something everyday about a new and different perspective on many things. Certainly I can recall situations in the past where my fight-or-flight reaction was spectacularly unsuccessful and a tend-and-befriend approach might have been better.

[skirt_guy]

I thought it was a great way to tell a great story!

[Helen_Highwater]

Hey Good Lookin'

A lovely tale well told.

Looking back on my own experiences the very few times I've been given a, shall we say, cool reception from an SA it's been from a male. Never anything outright hostile but definitely having an edge in the voice.

This supports your experiences and the sage advice of Ms. Google.

Life is what it is. I'm sure you'll have many more positive experiences especially as your confidence grows.

[Teri Ray]

I especially related to your description "
thrilling and terrifying". That was me dressed in public for the first time. I like you found that the world did not end and people may have looked but no one seemed to care. Glad you had a good experience.