I've been exposed

[Ronnie38]

So, last night my wife confessed to me that she told her sister about Ronnie. Now this is not a bad thing for me. I told her very early on to do so if she ever needed to talk to someone other than myself. She is also a very good judge of character so I know she wouldn't tell any one who would try to put or expose me. I was a little uncomfortable that she didn't talk to me about it first but I do understand that she needed some advice and assurance and her sister is a great person for that. I guess she told her a few months ago while helping her and her husband move. She told me about it yesterday when she got home from a short visit with her family. Apparently my sister in law is very accepting and supportive of the whole idea. I am a little uneasy about it but at the same time it's nice to know that I have another ally and that she is encouraging my wife to explore and enjoy this side of me more. And from what my wife tells me, her sister is the type to give away expensive hand me downs.

[Laura912]

It appears that you are twice fortunate with an understanding wife and a s-i-l who has hand me downs.

[Diane Taylor]

I believe that the more people who know about you, the better off you are because you have less hiding to do and it takes some of the pressure off you. Congrats on the good news.

[Crissy 107]

Ronnie, I think it’s great you have both your wife and SIL on board and I can see how your wife now has someone close to her to talk about things. I think the hand me downs could be a great extra benefit. I have some hand me downs from my wife and love them.
Crissy

[kimdl93]

That went well.

[Elizabeth G]

Hi Ronnie,

I think that's great. I'm working withmy wife on coming out to someone so she finally has someone to discuss this with. She's been closed inside my closet for far too long without someone to confide in and I feel it would help both of us if she could talk to someone other than our therapist.

Elizabeth

[Tracy Irving]

Congratulations on all your success.

[Alyssa Lane]

My wife has already done it, she had talked to her parents at the beginning of it all. He mother is a nurse and understanding.

[char GG]

It is very hard for a wife to keep a secret if anything bothers her. It doesn’t help to only talk to the CDer. Since you had already given her permission to talk, maybe she didn’t think it was necessary to ask you first. Sounds like it went well and you have an encouraging ally.

I’m glad everything worked out well. Hope you both continued happiness. ❤️

[Lana Mae]

Sounds like everything worked out for the good plus! Best wishes for it to continue! Hugs Lana Mae

[Jaylyn]

This could be a good exposing for you. She can talk about you and you might get some more clothes to wear.

[Bobbi46]

Only good come out of this for the future, the more people know about you and dressing the easier life will be for you, it is for me everybody near me knows about me, problems? non at all.
Go for it as I say and enjoy the freedome you have now and as it expands as time goes by.

[aLEXisREX]

Cat out of Bag! Getting clothes is a perk and a half though. I hope that her and her husband are equally supportive and respectful, if she shares it.
People talk, just saying.

[Stephanie47]

I think one of the biggest reasons for a wife to not be on board with a husband's cross dressing is a fear of negative reactions from family and friends. A wife needs a close confident to discuss personal matters with. My wife said decades ago the biggest problem she had with my desires to wear women's clothing was not having anyone to talk to about it.

[alwayshave]

Ronnie, I'm glad there seems to be no down side to being exposed.

[mattea]

Glad this worked out good for you. My wife has shared with one of her friends and I am out to my immediate family. Having expanded that circle of acceptance has been a big confidence booster for me. I hope the same for you!

Mattea

[sarah_hillcrest]

Yeap, my wife feels the same, often telling me she wished she could talk to someone about it. It would be nice to have to stop worrying about being caught.

[Ronnie38]

Normally I would be very stressed and anxious about something like this but for some reason i feel excited and free. I surprizingly cant wait to sit and talk with her. And my wife is now a lot more open and accepting as well. Im so glad she has someone to talk to.

[Leslie Mary S]

Do those of you who have supportive spouses ever have your spouses talk to other spouses on this group? Unfortunately I no longer have a spouse. When I had one, she was not in the know.

[Meghan4now]

Glad this is positive, and we are seeing more of this within families. Of course, while certain topics are sensitive, confidentiality can be hard to negotiate. To some degree, people are free to disclose or share intimate things in their lives. How you react is also your choice. Wisdom is keeping that in mind, not rushing in, and giving people some latitude for their choices.

Sound like you had some good luck there
Enjoy it and remember it when things are a bit more rocky.

[Alice B]

I have posted before that my entire extended family knows. I do not know who my wife has told and I doubt that it would be many, but I am sure she has told a few close friends. Nothing has ever been said when I see these friends

[Ronnie38]

It is very hard for a wife to keep a secret if anything bothers her. It doesn’t help to only talk to the CDer. Since you had already given her permission to talk, maybe she didn’t think it was necessary to ask you first. Sounds like it went well and you have an encouraging ally.

I’m glad everything worked out well. Hope you both continued happiness. ❤️
I am very glad that she has someone to talk to now. Altough she didn't come out and say it, i knew she was struggling with something related to me dressing. Cant say exactly what it was but i did notice a drastic change at the time she first talked to her sister. She had gotten to a point where i was going to out myself just so she would have someone to confide in. Now that she has spilled the beans, she is a lot more supportive and accepting. To those of you with spouses who are uncomfortable but accepting I would like to encourage you to find her an ally. Yes, it will be uncomfortable exposing your secret but keep in mind, its her secret too. She has just as much to deal with as you do. Help her any way you can.

[KatrinaK]

Ronnie, I feel for you. My wife’s best friends husband said something to me at a party once that sent me off the deep end and I was CERTAIN that my wife had told her best friend and she had told him. Turns out I was only half right. I was LIVID. I accused my wife of violating the trust of our wedding vows, and it took us a while to recover. Then it turned out she had told at least three more of her friends including my mother in law. Again, I went off the deep end.

Now, while I hold strongly in my belief that she should have asked me first, she made a very valid point about feeling completely alone with nobody to talk to while she was working through her own feelings about this. She’ll also say that talking to those VERY supportive friend she have helped her come to the point of acceptance that has led to our wonderful s together. She also argues that I probably would t have said yes if asked. I believe I would have approved most, but not all of those people knowing.

Here’s the thing... having those people to share with has now helped me with my confidence because they’re all so supportive. I’m struggling with telling a couple of my friends. One, who I have chosen, is going through some difficult family times, and it’s not the right time to add this weight to her life. So having my wife’s best friends to share with has really helped.

It could have worked out differently, which is why I maintain that my wife should have spoke to me first, be the net effect of it all was to expand my own support network, which has been invaluable.

[Teresa]

Ronnie,
I played it slightly differently , I told my wife I had no objections who she told as long as it helped her also it was none of my business . If your out that's it , if you work it right it can only help you to move on .

Don't forget we have off loaded this bombshell, they have to deal with it in their own way, whatever helps them will almost certainly help you . The wider the ring gets the easier it gets , the other point is they may know but may never see you at least the first hurdle has been cleared .

[nikkiwindsor]

Ronnie, I'll be very interested in knowing more about how your wife feels now that she has a sister to talk to about your feminine side. This will help me as I continue to talk to my wife about the woman within me. As far as I know, she's never confided my nature to anyone and I know it's a burden to her. She's expressed her concern that some day I may transition and she's worried about other people knowing. Because she worries about others would think about me and her if they ever found out, I'm guessing she's probably never told a soul. If she did I imagine it would be our daughter, an adult, first. However, I really don't know. Nikki

[Ronnie38]

Nikki, talk with your wafe about just that. One thing most of us do not realise is that being a closeted crosadresser who has opened up to your wife actually puts yoir wife in the closet with you. She did not choose to but fallowed you there. Now she has feelings and confusions as well. A lot of cds talk about coming out or being outed but they dont realise that now their so's are in the closet with them. They too now have to deal with the "coming out" and being accepted as a wife who is with a crossdresser. Put your self in her shoes so to speak.

[KatrinaK]

Ronnie, you make a really good point there and one that hits close to home. My wife has complained about living in the shadows and keeping secrets. Since she’s had friends to talk to, who are accepting, those thoughts have gone away. She encourages me to embrace my fluidity and “own it” as much as possible. Now, my wife, like me, doesn’t give a flying f$#$ what other people think, so there’s that, but the sentiment is the same.

I’m going to get my ears pierced when I get back from the family vacation I’m currently on and she’s encouraging of that too. The only reason I didn’t do it now is the same reason I removed the gorgeous gel manicure I’ve been rocking lately (even to the office) and that’s because my father has severe alzheimers and we didn’t want to confuse him. But when we get back home, it’s on.

My wife’s biggest problem has nothing to do with my fluidity, but my slowly disapating lack of confidence in owning it. You live in the south, Nikki, which puts you in a different position than Southern California. So there’s that. But in reality, the more YOU normalize it, the easier it will be for her.

Ronnie, you’re a wise girl!

[Teresa]

Ronnie,
That's the point I was making so she has the right to find her own way out of that closet I found it best not to interfere how she chose to do it as she didn't really want to discuss it with me , we were both stuck with a DADT situation , that's why I've found DADT a short term compromise , no one can move forward .

All I know now is my wife regrets her actions but it's too late as we've now separated and there's no going back .

[Ronnie38]

Hehe. Never been called a wise girl before. Think i kinda like it.
Teresa. Im sorry for what you went through but i have been using your posts and experiences along wirh so many others here for guidance and inspiration.
My opinions here will not fit everyone but my hope is that it may help at least one person.

[Beverley Sims]

All I can say is, life should get easier now.

All the best.