Is it normal for my wife to get a little jealous?

[Kimberly Adams]

I told her yes but she is looking for some reassurance from the "forum". First.. my wife is hot. I would die to look as good as her in her girly girl outfits. No fair. I told her about Kimberly about 2 months ago and right away she helped herself to my makeup, panties, clothes (that kind of fit), etc. I recently ordered a couple of dresses from Nordstrom and a new wig. We're planning a girl's night out soon and she doesn't want to be upstaged at all by me. Not possible. So now she feels a little jealous of the dress I bought, she might want it in her size. And the wig, gorgeous long red that looks amazing. She thinks her hair sucks now and wants it colored with extensions so mine isn't longer and prettier. I could never compete with my wife but she isn't as sure. She's seen some of my pics and said I don't look too bad.. which is a HUGE compliment. Just looking for some reassurance that what she is experiencing is normal. She will read the replies so you can direct comments to her directly if you wish. TIA.

Kimberly

[Majella St Gerard]

Don't look too bad? Sounds like a back handed compliment.

[leannejacobs]

I'd say it's perfectly normal, my wife is all woman, very feminine in all that she does but there is a jealousy there when I'm dressed, I have very long shapely legs and can create a very shapely figure, my wife and I are 50 and have grown up kids, nature has taken its course on my wife's body so she's not as slim as she once was, still attractive but it's knocked her confidence, it's not a big issue though, we still love each other but we don't go out with me dressed, I dress quite tarty at times too which eventuates my shape, so what you're experiencing is quite common I'd say.

[Mistyjo]

Kimberly
Yes it is normal for your wife to be a little jealous.
What you see in your wife is not what she sees.
When I first came out to wife ( many years ago) If I bought me a new outfit I got her a new outfit as well .
I am not saying you should do that but it does help to be able to keep your outfits. So if she wants to get her hair done and get a new dress for your girls night out let her

[Kimberly Adams]

I started dressing way before I met my wife so I just don't want her to ever think she has to compete against me. Hard to imagine she would ever think I could look better. New emotions for both of us. Just happy to have an accepting wife and hope we can have some fun together.

[Beverley Sims]

I think it shows that she is interested in how you look as well.

[Lisa Roberts]

Kimberly, you’re way ahead of the game. I’d take a jealous wife over a unaccepting wife any day. Make sure you let her know that she is still the Queen and the woman in the relationship.
Kimberly’s wife, It is probably hard for you to completely understand what Kimberly is going through. Being in the “condition” that we are in, our mind and our bodies are pulling us in several different directions. Life can be a real struggle. I think I speak for all of us here in the forum, we send you a hearty thank you for being accepting. You should be honored for Kimberly wanting to be as pretty as you are. My best to you both.
Lace and Smiles!
Lisa

[nikkiwindsor]

Oh yeah...it's normal for the a wife to be a bit jealous...mine is in couple ways in particular. Weight for one...I'm slender and lose weight easily. Cinch a corset and I have an hour glass figure. She's a bit pear shaped and a little overweight...she struggles with it. I wear all the pretty dresses...she won't touch them but rarely because she doesn't like the pounds on her thighs. The other area of concern but she didn't mention it but once a while ago was "I am competing with Nikki for your affection."

Addressing both these areas of jealousy, I give my wife undivided attention, thank her repeatedly for helping me with my GD by allowing me to express my feminine spirit & nature, and try to help her feel better about her weight. OBTW, my wife is a beautiful blue-eyed blonde...

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kim :hugs:, Be careful that you don't blow a good thing, Just remember that the ball is in her court now,


You have to know when to back off a little. >Orchid ..0:daydreaming:0..

[kimdl93]

Speaking to you, kim, I’d say that she wants you to be excited by her and her appearance. While she clearly is supportive of you, like any partner, she wants to be the object of your interest and attention. It’s so easy for a cross dresser to become self absorbed. Make a conscious effort to put her first...buy something for her before anything for yourself. Do something for her before doing anything for yourself. Let her know she is and will always be first.

[alwayshave]

Kimberly, my wife wife is accepting, she does like some of my dresses and she doesn't like the fact that my breast forms are larger than her breasts. So it probably is natural.

[BrendaPDX]

I have wondered about this question, and will watch this thread with interest. I have seen some beautiful and amazing transformations here, and wondered if some wives might feel upstaged, or even insecure. I never thought about romantic or sexual rivals, interesting. I am now in a DADT stage, but it is better than totally in the closet. Thank you for asking, I will keep returning to this thread.

[jamienoir]

I've always wondered about this. I'm on a few CD sites and see these absolutely gorgeous girls whose profile indicates they're married. Does your wife know you look this good dressed up because many say their wife doesn't want to see them. Especially some of us more mature folks.

Then again its a few girls that do sexy photoshoots with their wife.

But for many SOs I can't imagine there couldn't be some type of feeling/jealousy if their husband is gorgeous when dressed.

[Gillian Gigs]

There are a couple of things to remember. Your wife is competing with the woman in your mind, and your ideal would be difficult for her to compete with. Many women have confidence issues when it comes to their looks, so when you buy clothes and make up you are stepping into her arena. Buy her clothes also. Always give her confident reassurance and help her feel loved and beautiful. There is some good advice here, listen to it, you have a good thing here, don't blow it by getting self absorbed!

[Tracy Irving]

My wife does not want me to wear anything she would wear. Every so often out tastes overlap. I respect her boundaries so the item goes back on the rack. There is enough variety in women's fashion for both of us.

[Crissy 107]

There are a couple of things to remember. Your wife is competing with the woman in your mind, and your ideal would be difficult for her to compete with. Many women have confidence issues when it comes to their looks, so when you buy clothes and make up you are stepping into her arena. Buy her clothes also. Always give her confident reassurance and help her feel loved and beautiful. There is some good advice here, listen to it, you have a good thing here, don't blow it by getting self absorbed!
Gillian, You make some very good points here, Thanks.
Crissy

[Cheryl T]

It's absolutely normal for her to be jealous, even if she looks 100x better than you in something.
It's a girl thing to be jealous of another.
My wife had the same feelings when I came out to her. It took a while for her to realize that me trying to look my best was not compensation for something she lacked, or trying to compete with her, but was only me trying to be the best me I could be.
She understands now and we share things as girl friends do and we no longer have that issue between us. I help her to look and be her best and she does the same for me.

[Stephanie47]

Two months ago you posted that you came out to your wife. She had the usual questions and fears women have about a husband wearing women's clothing. Now she is supportive? IMHO many women are going to view this relationship as a menage a trois. There's husband and wife. There's Kimberly and wife. Who does the woman have to play up to? Is she trying to compete with Kimberly to keep her husband? Is she trying to accept Kimberly as a girl friend?

I think it is too early for you to believe this is full acceptance. My wife wants nothing to do with Stephanie. Yes, she knows I have an interest in wearing women's clothing. It's 'my thing,' not her's. She is adamant that she married her guy, and, has no interest in wanting a relationship with a man acting as a woman. If she wanted a relationship with a woman, she would be with a woman.

Again, I would not get too comfortable with the idea she is fully accepting. She is entitled to change her mind. I'm not trying to be "Debbie Downer," only a realist.

[Donna St. Marten]

Of course, now their is other woman in your relationship.

[Kimberly Adams]

Thank you for all the great support and advice. My wife pretty much gets anything she wants and I'm happy to treat her. I'm blessed to make good money so I can afford to take care of her needs. She has an appointment with her salon today and she took my wig with her to see if they can replicate the look. I think she is going to get the color of her hair changed a bit and get hair extensions. I told her to go for it, whatever she wants to make her happy. Our first girl's night out is about a month out and will be the first time she will meet Kimberly fully dressed. I have mentioned before dressing is not an obsession for me. If my wife hates the experience I will accept it and not push for a second outing. Will just have to wait and see how it goes.

Kimberly

[Crissy 107]

Speaking for myself, the only constant with my wife is change. Sometimes she can be very accepting of my feminine side and other times, like now, I can tell she is only tolerant at best. It gets tough not knowing what to expect from her on any given day.
Crissy

[Di]

GG here I’d say I’d tease Sher about her sexy legs saying I’m jealous.But I never was . I’m a confident woman who has flaws but I just am not a jealous types. Everyone is different and her feelings are her feeling and perfectly normal.
I will say this - there were times when ( I worked weekends) I’d come home from work and Sher would be all dolled up and wanting to goooooo lol/ after working all day I’d feel like poo and I did not enjoy it as much or want pictures of me ( Sher loved pics) cause I’d feel not my best.
So I get that wanting her hair or whatever she wants so she would feel pretty too. I would say to Sher I don’t feel cute ...... she knew what I meant so we would just go low key out and about. The best times for me and I think Sherlyn too were the planning and getting ready to go to an event.
My 2 cents I would for the first time your wife seeing you dressed would just plan a low key thing at home doing each other’s nails or hanging out.Most new Ggs to this are nervous about seeing their partner dressed the first time and a different kind of nervous going out. So if you can maybe consider this.
For example I’ve had Ggs say they laughed or cried out of nervousness or whatever and the hubby all confidence gone ...upset flipped out and evening ruined.
You know each other so do what is best in your relationship the above did not pertain to me. So best wishes just know this can make such an even stronger bond sharing this together but be considerate of each other always.

[Teresa]

Kimberly,
My daughter did say a strange thing to me , despite being separated from my wife now she thinks my wife could be jealous , I'm not sure what if anything has been said but my daughter has seen a few times now . Has she passed anything on , so what prompted her to tell me that ?

[char GG]

I don't think wives like competition, especially from their husband or SO.

I use Ulta brand makeup and would be a little miffed if my husband used more expensive makeup than I do (competition again).

Hair takes a long time to deal with, especially if it's long. To just plop a wig on and call it good is different from the time it takes for me to get my hair ready to go out. (competition again).

In the past, when my husband wanted to get dressed to the 9's, he would find a place to go (usually a bar). That was one of my original complaints when he first started dressing. I would also like to get dressed up but not to walk around the mall, go to a bar, or stay home and take pictures of myself. I wanted to go places where everyone was also dressed up. Now, we do find places where we can both go to dressy events and not feel out of place. Compromising seems to work.

So to answer your question, your wife may be a little jealous but more likely that she doesn't like competition.

[Crissy 107]

Very nice to have the opinion of some GG’s on this thread! Thanks
Crissy

[Zoeytgtx]

I'm afraid I'm battling the war on two fronts both mentioned here. She has accidentally seen photos of me dressed trolling the internet. She absolutely refuses to see me dressed. She is about seven years older than me and when I'm dressed I look about ten years younger than my actual age. So she has already told me she is threatened by what I look like dressed. On top of that she fears I will want to transition. She has told me she could never have a relationship with a woman, so she chooses to deal with my dressing as another woman in our relationship. She has told me numerous times she would rather deal with knowing I have a mistress rather than participating in a lesbian relationship. It's black and white in her mind and has driven us deeper into DADT. I don't get it and some of my GG friends don't understand her mindset either.

[Jaylyn]

I don't know why your wife would be jealous. Mine is not and compare me to her she knows I just enjoy the dressing but she doesn't want to a part of it anymore. I just DADT now but at first we bought things together at the same stores. At least your wife is still visiting with you about the dressing. I think mine just got tired of the novelty of me dressing and at first she was over whelmed with love that I would tell her something like this and pour my heart out to her.
Your wife needs to realize we can never be what they already have and that most of us still love our wives more for accepting what we enjoy what we do. I would never transition and I would imagine every CD on here has thought what that would be like but in reality I don't think many actually go thru all the steps to get there. Especially the married CDs. Just keep the line of communications open and talk often is my advice.

[Teresa]

Char,
That's a very good insight into how dressing progresses . The lesson I've had to learn fairly quickly is how to tone it all down , the appropriate clothes and more natural makeup , dressing up to the nines is wonderful but I've found it easier , if you do go a little OTT it doesn't matter . The pictures have become less important the more I go out but it's the only way we can share stories here .

I must admit I'm finding the need stronger to take a lady friend out for a quiet meal and share the company with a woman dressed , it is something I miss from attending social groups . I will add it's not to try and compete and make someone jealous .

[Michaelasfun]

Of course, now their is other woman in your relationship.

That’s my wife’s attitude in a nutshell. “Competing with another woman” is how she puts it. So yea I’d say theres a bit of that going round lol

[Kimberly Adams]

My wife had her consultation at the salon. She's getting her hair extensions next week and seems really excited. Hopefully everything turns out ok. :)

[nikkiwindsor]

My wife and I occasionally make deals to keep us both happy...you may have read my recent post about her offering me permission to keep my legs shaved and my arm hairs short in return for a highly optioned new vehicle for her...we were buying her the car regardless but she wanted options I really was opposed to. But she offered the deal to me there in the dealership when the sales associate stepped away allowing us continue our "argument" in private and I immediately and joyfully agreed to her terms...we're both HAPPY!

p.s. I guess the jealousy she has cannot be too bad, or it's lessened over time, given that she's ok with me being shaved knowing that it now allows me to rock sleeveless dresses and go bare legged without the need for hose or tights.

[donnalee]

It is interesting that the Chinese ideogram for "trouble" is 2 women under the same roof.

[Rogina B]

I must admit I'm finding the need stronger to take a lady friend out for a quiet meal and share the company with a woman dressed ,
VERY "Male minded" statement ! Every Woman pays for her own meal...Not like Male/Female dating !

[mattea]

My wife and I have had some ups and downs in this regard, but she has always been accepting. For us it is a matter of perspective. In her mind putting the makeup on, doing her hair, nails, etc is a chore, for me it has been an experience that I enjoy and have tried new things. At first it she like, how can you only do this every so often and be so good at it, while in her mind she was upset that she has done this her entire life and in her mind she barely gets by. I think that is the confidence thing all women face, as my wife is a stunning and beautiful women in no makeup and a stunning and beautiful women in makeup and the trimmings. I am not sure that jealous is the right word but she was perplexed that a rough looking guy could actually look pretty while in her mind she was barely getting by. The answer for me is that I am consumed with this as a hobby, passion and an art form of expression so I really put a lot of effort into it and get results. She thinks it is easy for me and it is not, it is a lot of trial and error to get it right and then when I find something I stick with it. She still thinks of all of this as a chore or a burden and is very hard on herself. You know we are our own worst critic and when you are pretty all of the time, you begin to nitpick on the minor stuff, or at least that is what I take from it. There have been sometimes when the pink fog consumed me that I get into a shopping spree or buy some things (lots of things) and then she gives me a bit of a hard time because she would like some new stuff too, so I have to keep myself grounded to remember to take care of her too and as all of us who have accepting wives, we know that we have something special that we need to take very special care to maintain. I think for a while she was also battling the "other women" concept, but as we have grown together in this, we are to the point that she is as much into the "other women" as she is into me in guy mode. Being that we both recognize that I am happier playing for the girls team we have adjusted to the point that she has not only accepted me, but she has grown to be quite fond of my female expression. She said that doesn't make her bisexual, or lesbian it simply makes her my wife regardless of who is wearing the prettiest dress. I think all of the feelings described are natural and that at the end of it all you must find the balance that fits you and your family. Just remember to cherish that she is willing to work with you and be very careful and considerate in your progress. Don't push too hard and remember to consider her feelings. The biggest piece of advice that I see handed out in this forum that I think is one of the most important, is to share everything, be 100% transparent, be completely honest and be sure to approach everything that you do with love and respect being your priority.

Good luck with the journey!

Mattea

[Kimberly Adams]

mattea, awesome post. Thank you.

Kimberly

[mbmeen12]

Oh yeah...it's normal for the a wife to be a bit jealous

My GG loves the way I looked in hose and heels....But tell her, nothing beats the raw beauty of of a woman's natural body.

X Kara

[Rayleen]

mattea, great post story, thanks for sharing

[Maid_Marion]

Appearance is very important in our society, which is why a lot of women won't go out unless properly dressed. And, if you are hot, you get the best service!
The judging never stops. There is also the issue that men typically compete, while women cooperate. I'm not there, so I can't tell you exactly what buttons are being pushed.

I was once eating at Wendy's and my wife's friend saw us. She couldn't help remarking that I was eating the salad and she was eating a burger. This did not go over well.

[Teresa]

Rogina,
I didn't say anything about paying , I was thinking more of a picnic basket ! Besides we could agree to go Dutch !

The point is I'm in need of female company , it's been far too long, all I need to do now is find one that enjoys my company as Teresa and yes I am working on it .