EricaCD
03-18-2006, 09:10 PM
Well, I did it. Again. Think coming out was a difficult moment? I can now tell you that doing it twice doesn't make it more fun.
This evening I told my wife of 12 years that I was dressing again. When I came out 3 years ago (got found out, really), I had not been actively dressing for quite some time. It is now clear that my wife just immediately flipped into total denial/avoidance. She had convinced herself that this was a thing of my past - notwithstanding that I gave her no such assurance. So I guess this was the "real" coming out. To all of those (especially the GGs here) who have given me support in this decision, I thank you from the bottom of my being.
She took it well. (Of course, I had the benefit of knowing that she would not go off the deep end, becuase we had been through a dress rehearsal 3 years ago.) That is to say, she is rather upset and has no idea what to say or do. I suggested that she take as long as she needs to figure out how she wants to go. I also mentioned the GG support group here as a possible resource. We will see what the next couple days bring. It is possible that she will go back into avoidance, in which case we will continue as-is but with no misunderstanding between us.
She did say that she preferred that I had leveled with her. I am sorry to have caused her so much discomfort, but take a measure of solace from knowing that this was the best approach to a difficult situation. And I thank the creator for giving me her as life-mate.
Thanks again to all who participate in this group. Your support has been a godsend.
Erica
This evening I told my wife of 12 years that I was dressing again. When I came out 3 years ago (got found out, really), I had not been actively dressing for quite some time. It is now clear that my wife just immediately flipped into total denial/avoidance. She had convinced herself that this was a thing of my past - notwithstanding that I gave her no such assurance. So I guess this was the "real" coming out. To all of those (especially the GGs here) who have given me support in this decision, I thank you from the bottom of my being.
She took it well. (Of course, I had the benefit of knowing that she would not go off the deep end, becuase we had been through a dress rehearsal 3 years ago.) That is to say, she is rather upset and has no idea what to say or do. I suggested that she take as long as she needs to figure out how she wants to go. I also mentioned the GG support group here as a possible resource. We will see what the next couple days bring. It is possible that she will go back into avoidance, in which case we will continue as-is but with no misunderstanding between us.
She did say that she preferred that I had leveled with her. I am sorry to have caused her so much discomfort, but take a measure of solace from knowing that this was the best approach to a difficult situation. And I thank the creator for giving me her as life-mate.
Thanks again to all who participate in this group. Your support has been a godsend.
Erica