While shopping for a dress...

[Becky Blue]

This is my 2,000th post here :battingeyelashes:

My lovely Mrs is away for a few weeks, giving me some alone time - alas she did not take the kids but still it gave me some Becky time. This weekend I had a day to myself and decided I needed a new casual dress. it is very hard to justify spending a lot of money on something I will only wear very occasionally. There is a huge Goodwill shop about 15 kms (10 Miles) from my place so off I went, in drab i may add (too difficult to explain)

The Goodwill shop was enormous and pretty packed...its far from my house and usual habitats so i was not concerned about bumping into anyone i knew. There must have been 15 racks of woman's clothes sorted by type.. There was a rack labeled designer dresses so i thought its a good place to start. The problem was there was a tall young woman standing in the middle of the rack - in the way blocking. I glanced at her and went to look at the casual dresses. Planning to go back to the designer dresses when she had moved out of the way, only to see that she was still standing there, not looking at the dresses just standing there. Her behaviour seemed so strange, it was then that I realised she was a TGirl...she was standing still looking terrified right in the middle of the store, pretty much blocking an aisle.

What was so interesting was that she was really feminine looking, pretty and passable but was actually drawing attention to herself as she was standing there not moving. A bit later I was at a rack of dresses, there was a middle aged woman on the other side, the young T Girl came up to her and the older woman showed her a dress, the TGirl whispered no... The poor girl looked terrified, I have no idea if she was a CD on a shopping outing with a transformation place or a newly transitioning girl.. or what, but ironically she was drawing attention because of her behaviour.

Please understand I am in no way being critical of her, I don't know her story and if you are terrified you are terrified, but I am making the observation that blending in is as much about how you are behaving as how you look. She could have passed easily if looks were the only criteria.

BTW I found a gorgeous dress for only $9 that of course showed lots of shoulders too.. LOL at my puny arm :)

295211

[Kimberly Adams]

How did you know for sure she was a T-girl?

[DIANEF]

Becky, welcome to the 2000 club!!
I love charity shops (thrift stores) and have bought several nice items from them, but only ever in drab. Id love to be able to change that one day, and hope I don't look as nervous as the girl you saw when it happens (note when, not if....) Really like that dress by the way, from what I can see of it.

[Elizabeth G]

Hi Becky,

Congrats on going silver!

That dress looks great, I love the cold shoulder look.

Elizabeth

[Becky Blue]

Kimberley - it was obvious once I was close to her. Firstly it was clear she was wearing a wig, secondly although she whispered it wasn't a woman's whisper thirdly her hands were big and finally and most importantly was her clear nervousness.... The point is it was only on close examination, she passed my initial glance. Also naturally as one I am attuned to 'us'.

Thanks Diane, its a great club to be part of! I did enjoy shopping for a dress even in guy mode.. secret is to not care what people may or may not be thinking seeing a male looking at racks of woman's clothes...The Sa did not treat me any differently to if the dress was a mans shirt.

Thanks Elizabeth, I am very happy to be silver as every time I saw senior member I thought I am not that old lol love the dress!

[alwayshave]

Becky, you did not come across as critical, just relating the facts. I'm glad that you got some Becky time.

[Cassandra Lynn]

Congrats on the milestone Bec.
And congrats on getting some Becky time too.

I enjoyed the story and you related very well how important comfort and confidence is. I also think you did right by not engaging her, as strong as the temptation is.
What was the vibe from the woman who showed her the dress?

Love that open shoulder look on your sexy (not puny) arm and shoulders.

Cass

[Beverley Sims]

I think all the questions and etiquette has been followed correctly.

It is hard sometimes not to say anything and the only time I have broken silence was when I was asked about a dress by someone, when I replied her eyes lit up and we shopped together trying things throughout the store.

Of course I was dressed.

A wonderful moment and I never saw her again. Maybe an opportunity lost.

I like your 2000 dress, that is what I will call it, I saw some bare shouldered fashions myself yesterday and thought.... Hmmm!...

Yup a milestone dress. :-)

[Becky Blue]

Firstly thanks for the compliments girls

Beverly and Cassie you make a really good point, if i was dressed I would have engaged her for certain. I would have asked her if I can help and depending on her reaction suggested that she try maybe pretend to browse rather than stand around looking awkward. But given I was in Drab I felt that a middle aged guy shopping for dresses would have added to her angst.

my 2000 dress hmm i like that

[Helen_Highwater]

Becky,

Congratulations on reaching 2000 milestone.

No, I to don't think you're being critical. You're simply relaying what you saw and how you as an individual interpreted the situation.

How often have we read the advice, act like you belong there? Well it seems from your observations that carries the great weight of truth. A lesson for us all.

And you rounded the day of with a lovely dress and a bargain to boot.

Any more Becky time to come or is your SO due back?

[Stephanie47]

I do not think you were being critical. You were reporting your observations. From your description of her interactions with the older woman and just perusing the aisles I would have assumed she was someone on the transgender spectrum. Perhaps, it was a mother and her son/daughter shopping. The point you made is valid. Her actions seemed out of place. Others may have observed and concluded the same as you did, but, because you're also on the transgender spectrum you lingered. How many posts have been made of sales associates readily concluding a man was identified as a cross dresser because his actions drew the attention of the sales associate. You as well as anyone else does or should learn from observing what goes on around them.

Anyway, nice you were able to score a nice bargain.

[biancabellelover]

To be honest, I think we’re all missing the point here.

The real question should be: Which shop was this?

Our local ‘Savers’ (thrift shop) doesn’t have a designer dresses rack!

Michelle.

[Becky Blue]

Helen, Becky time is over, happy and a bit sad (From Becky's) perspective, my mrs is back...
Stephanie, i think the point is whether or not people figured out what she was, her strange behaviour made people look at her... being looked at closer increased the chances of being picked. If a girl is scared and nervous and not wanting to be noticed then try act as normal as possible.

Mich, i will inbox you the shop details.. ironically there were not a lot of designer dresses on that rack,, but i found designer dresses all over the place

[biancabellelover]

No need, Bec,

It was an attempt at humour,

xx

Michelle

P.S. I've bought two lovely Liz Jordans from our local savers (one is in my avatar pic)

M.

[Becky Blue]

As they say Downunder here, straight through to the keeper Michelle :)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Becky :hugs:, Shopping at Goodwill is like going on a treasure hunt, You just never know what You will find.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>Orchid ..o:daydreaming:o..

[Janine cd]

I love shopping at Goodwill. I go in male dress and have never been embarrassed. The sales persons were always helpful and never questioned my selections.

[Teresa]

Becky,
How you must have wished you could have rescued her , shame you weren't dressed it might have given her a little confidence .

I must admit the first few times is daunting and the fight or flight syndrome can take over but she just froze , poor girl ! I've never had that experience but I did see a TG/TS in a grocery store getting more agitated the longer she waited in the check out line , she was visibly shaking . I wasn't near enough to say anything besides that was when I was well in the closet so what could I have said ?

Well at least becky scored , good one Becky !

[deebra]

Becky,

I also shop in Goodwill and move about at the women's clothes racks along with the women, when I find something I stand in line waiting to get in the changing room and try it on. Want to find my right size of course but also letting the ladies know I have the right to wear female clothing just like they do. Occasionally just a little smile from them knowing I'm trying on girl jeans or dress over panties I just might be wearing. So Becky I do hope you tried on the dress. I also would like to add when shopping in WalMart and I have several items to try on I go to the changing room clearly from the women's section and the SA's know this and recognize this and that they are women's clothes I will be trying on. Many times they have said "did it fit", or something positive and nice. I think they understand there are some males that prefer to wear clothing offered to females more so than what's offered to males.

Becky a C filled bra would really help that dress.

Let us know, were you girl enough to try on he dress????????

[Joyce Swindell]

I'm​ not sure how I might have handled a situation like that. From out here and reading about it, it's easy to say I would do something different. Having read your post puts in mind a plan should I find myself in the same spot one day.
So... I consider the fact that I'm in drab and shopping for a dress and if I noticed her then she may have noticed me as well. To me, and my personality, I think I would have moved into her space a bit. I mean...if she stays put then victory. I feel that might be a open door for conversation. Maybe offer a compliment.

[Becky Blue]

Deebra, you made a VERY good point above regarding my boobs or should i say lack thereof... I probably felt like a lot of women with small boobs looking at myself in the mirror and thinking sighh if only i had bigger boobs for this dress. Generally i like small boobs as I am quite thin but do agree that C cups would have suited the dress a lot better.

Joyce if you had been there to see the look of fear on her face you would have stayed as far away from her as possible, she would not have noticed me if I had a sign plastered on my forehead and engaging with her would have not helped her in the slightest and moving inot her space would have added to her terror...