subtle discriminations

[pamela7]

I've noticed something recently, and wondered if there are any similar experiences. I've recently had two tradesmen decline to do work at my house, and I damned sure they don't in general turn down work (or if they do they refer someone else cos they're busy). So it got me wondering if in fact they don't want to work for "a tranny", and also don't want to be embarrassed by referring someone else to one either so as to avoid being seen to know one. Does this make sense or am I being trans-paranoid?

[AllieSF]

Unfortunately, your experience is uniquely yours. With zero details it is hard to make comparisons to someone else's similar experience. Did you call someone for the first time and they refused, or is it someone that you have used before and has met your new self. I.e. How did they know that you are a transwoman? Did you ask them why and what were there answers? "I am too busy now." may be the truth or a complete lie. Then why might they lie, which in your full time case could very well mean discrimination, or at least a very good guess that they are, if they did lie.

Discrimination exists everywhere, even when it is very illegal. Some people miss the discrimination completely when it happens to them because they did not catch the person's looks or maybe the negativity in their conversation with them. I know some transwomen that are sensitive to anything, while most others ignore most things and do not look for discrimination, nor really care about it unless it really and directly affects them in some way. Some over exaggerate what happened and then label the moment as discrimination when in fact that moment was not. So, it could be some wild guessing in a lot of circumstances as to what really happened, if anything actually did happen. Out right discrimination is also mostly very obvious to the receiver. Most of the rest is more subtle and can leave questions in the receiver's mind whether that moment was discriminating or not. So, who can really tell in those cases?

In my case of going out 1-3 times a week since 2007, I have only had one bartender try to ignore me when I asked for change from him for the parking meter outside. Funny thing in that case was that the very friendly waitress told me to ask him for change.

[DaisyLawrence]

Pam, I've been in the construction industry all my life and it is the most alpha male misogynistic gender binary world you can imagine. No you are not being paranoid.

[Peta_T]

What's that old saying....
"It's not paranoia if your right."

Look I don't know what happened, but I see similar things often when shopping etc.
Way I look at it, my money is exactly the same as everyone else's. If they don't want my business, that is on them, I'll find someone else to take my money.

[DaisyLawrence]

Way I look at it, my money is exactly the same as everyone else's. If they don't want my business, that is on them, I'll find someone else to take my money.

Absolutely :)

[RADER]

I was 50 years a Union Carpenter, Money will always get you some one to do some thing for you.
Now will they do a good job, Now that could be a good question.
You might be better off in the fact they turned you down.
Good luck on your repairs.
Rader

[Jaylyn]

I know out here in West Texas subtle has a completely different definition than the rest of the world. There are many the just tell you what they will or won't do and tell you why. Another reason I won't ever be out and about dressed or let any one even suspect it.

[Emma Leigh]

I cannot say I have had a similar experience Pam but it would not surprise me at all if your suspicions were founded in truth as I also live in England and know how small minded people can be about us

[Aprilrain]

Hey at least they were subtle!

[Jenny22]

Did they turn down the work after they visited and saw you?

[Teresa]

Pamela,
I had to call a plumber to fit a couple of new valves , he caught me out and rang to ask if he could drop by in the next five miutes to see what parts he actually needed to complete the job . I told him it was fine but as it was the first time I'd been in this situation with a tradesman I told him I would possibly answer the door not quite as he expected . ( I know some will say I shouldn't have done this but as I say this was new experience ) . On the day of the job he did mention the incident and thanked me for being honest with him . The outcome was he did a good job so I asked if he would be happy to do more work for me and also take on the maintenance contract for my rental property , he was perfectly happy with the situation .

[pamela7]

Jenny, yes indeed.
Glad to hear Teresa, have to say the workmen we did find to help have been professional and fine, and happy to repeat.
xx

[Nicole Erin]

I would think if your money looks like the photo below, a company would want to do business.
I believe the first rule for owning a business is "do not chase money away".

296853

[Anne K]

You are not alone, Pamela. I’ve experienced the same thing. I spent my entire working career in a construction related business and, even though I had not come out, they have a sixth sense and I had to “thread the needle”. I’m starting to come out to some old associates and figure they can like it or lump it.

There are lots of good people in the world, so don’t let a few small minded people take you down.