My wife of 33 years gave me the okay...............

[Desiree2bababe]

She just out told me to find a man...........

I replied Id be happier if she made me a woman............

No go

Guess I will start cruising for a man then.............

[DaisyLawrence]

Weird marraige.

[Charlotte7]

Yes Daisy, but it takes all sorts to make the world and marriage is not one-size-fits-all. I see it more a case of harm none, do what you will.

[DaisyLawrence]

Indeed Charlotte, but I use the word weird as in 'strange, abnormal, unusual' which it undoubtedly is. A statement of fact, not a judgement. I'm happy to pass judgement but it would be deleted.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I find your post confusing. Why on earth are you together?

[Rachelakld]

umm,
I used the door, and left.
Still if you can have cake and eat it, why wouldn't you?

[SaraLin]

It sounds less like an okay and more like a goodbye to me.

[kimdl93]

Is that what you want?

[alwayshave]

I'm assuming you asked for your wife to top you and this was her reply?

[Shely]

don't know what to say about that!

[Desiree2bababe]

No, she refuses to believe that it's her I desire when I'm dressed.........again this morning she suggested i invite my very best male friend over so I could please him as the woman I want to be........she's so far off base I don't know what to do other than perhaps show her I would do a she suggests..........but no I'd never do that

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I'm assuming you asked for your wife to top you and this was her reply?

She actually brought it up out of meanness, I merely said I was ready..........

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Is that what you want?

Yes, if she won't participate..............

[Beverley Sims]

I see some rocky roads ahead.

Try not to argue with your wife and then she has little ground for a valid retort.

[Micki_Finn]

Well, you asked her to do something she wasn’t really into. She suggested you do the same. Don’t really know you or your wife so I can’t really offer any other insight. Sex can be complicated, especially when the rules get changed out of nowhere.

[char GG]

Just my opinion from this limited information, it sounds like some “game playing” going on from both parties involved. Before anything happens that either of you regret later, a serious conversation without “gut reaction” comments might be in order. Let each other know what you truly want and need and if the wants and needs are achievable.

Best of luck to both of you.

[Eeddie248]

That's harsh. Hope things work out for you.

[Alice B]

If she is telling you to "find a man", does that mean that she is also looking for one? What is the glue that holds you together?

[Rhonda Jean]

Yea, that's not permission. That's just hatefulness. Some of y'all's marriages dismay me. This coming from a divorced person.

[LeslieSD]

My SO sometimes would jokingly say "you and so-and-so would make a perfect couple". What she really means is that "you are so disgusting that you don't deserve me".

I think you should tell her that you have no interest in anyone else, man or woman. You have all the intention to work things out with her. So both of you should do your best to keep it going.

[phili]

From my own life and a similar situation with my wife, I'm guessing she means she can't see her way forward with you, and she wants you to be different so that she can be with you, which she knows you are not planning to do, so she is protesting by daring you to leave.

You are passing the test by not taking her up on it, bc you know she wants to be connected to you. But you are frustrated and angry and think maybe punishing her by fulfilling her angry self-defeating protest would help...[unlikely, but it is clearly a terribly frustrating situation for both of you. Maybe find some common ground to be thankful for after 33 years before angry jabs at each other get out of control.

I told my wife today I had no interest in men, and I was dressing for her, and I knew she didn't like it, and very few people would find a crossdresser attractive as a long term partner. But my sexuality is what it is. She has lost interest in sex some time ago, and says she is afraid of my sexuality. We'll see..but getting the story straight really helps, rather than just staying paralyzed.

[Desiree2bababe]

My SO sometimes would jokingly say "you and so-and-so would make a perfect couple". What she really means is that "you are so disgusting that you don't deserve me".

I think you should tell her that you have no interest in anyone else, man or woman. You have all the intention to work things out with her. So both of you should do your best to keep it going.

Probably hit the nail on the head Leslie, I've told her again and again that Desiree is a totally different entity in my life and that she does not inter-twain with my male persona and never has. We've been down this road so many times............ she refuses to seek marriage counseling which we desperately need as my fem self is just a small issue with our marriage. I guess I'll just hang around and see if the camel's back is indeed broken.......

[LeslieSD]

Probably hit the nail on the head Leslie, I've told her again and again that Desiree is a totally different entity in my life and that she does not inter-twain with my male persona and never has. We've been down this road so many times............ she refuses to seek marriage counseling which we desperately need as my fem self is just a small issue with our marriage. I guess I'll just hang around and see if the camel's back is indeed broken.......

A lot of time, even now, I am not sure where mine is going. A lot of time it seems to be going toward an deadend, and then it seems to work just fine as long as I don't push too hard. But how far do I need to go in order to keep myself sane and content? I don't know.

Hope you are doing alright on yours.