Called a Counselor

[CrossKimmy]

Hey girls,

I have really been struggling with my gender identity lately that it's been causing a lot of pent up anxiety. I felt like the bubble was about to burst! I really needed to chat with a friendly voice and just get it all out there. I needed to release some of the pressure, so I called the GLBT hotline earlier this week. I was so nervous as the phone rang and my heart skipped a beat when it actually connected me to someone. At first I didn't know how to start so I just came out with it "I am a male to female crossdresser.." and it just poured out of me. OMG it felt soooo good to just chat with somebody about this. I am so closeted that nobody knows and I don't have a sympathetic ear anywhere near me. The counselor kept asking questions that I had really not ever given consideration about my sexual orientation and the like. I feel like the conversation revealed things about myself I didn't even know. We talked for an hour! I have never ever talked to anyone about these feelings. I felt so good the rest of the week. I am actually thinking about doing sessions with a therapist for the first time, too.

[Sidney]

CrossKimmy, I will not got in detail about my journey but honestly I don't know where I'd be without the counseling I have and continue to recieve.

I like you have had my counselor point out with questions things I never would have even thought to explore. I would suggest you explore a one on one counselor and not just over the phone. Make sure your comfortable with your counselor and for heavens sake tell them EVERYTHING you are thinking. My wife also sees her own counselor but for some reason seems to want to decide what is and is not important to tell her counselor. What I'm saying is they can't help you if you don't tell all to them. If you don't your wasting your, theirs time and money.

Good luck and keep us poster.

[Jenny22]

I'm happy for you, CK. Getting things off of your bosom can do wonders. If you ever feel the need to just talk or vent, PM me with your phone number.

[CrossKimmy]

Sidney,

I was for the first time in my whole life completely honest and told this person everything. I didn't hold back any details. I was feeling so dizzy during and afterward that I think stems from being so bottled up. It was extremely liberating to actually hear myself say these things out loud and own it. It had an actual physical effect on my body.

[Sidney]

Cross Kimmy, one session does not cure all even if you think you've told all. I keep a journal of my thoughts and happenings on my phone and talk to my counselor about them. It has lead me down some interesting paths the last few years. Some good, some not so good, but always going forward. If you would like to PM me feel free to do so. Again good luck.
Sidney

[CrossKimmy]

Sidney,

Oh I know. I am still dealing with these issued today but I felt so much better about myself than I had earlier that day.

[Stephanie47]

One of the biggest problems for me to discuss an issue is finding someone who is not judgemental and has shared experiences. That one of the issues a wife of a cross dresser seems to always have...not being able to talk to a confident. I know how you feel after uncorking that fizzling bottle of soda. It all bursts forward. The experience will reduce the anxiety. It will still leave your head swirling with conflicting feelings. It's good to see a professional counselor trained in gender identity issues. It is also a good idea to join a support group. Decades ago when my wife and I had "The Talk" and all the emotions surrounding cross dressing, she encouraged me to find a support group. I looked, yet did not find. It took a long time to "go it alone."

[Shayla]

Kimmy,

Congratulations. What a relief to finally confide in someone! I concur with others here- make sure you get a trained gender therapist that you are comfortable with and tell all. It becomes so much easier each time you talk about it.

[Beverley Sims]

I am so pleased that opening the floodgates on your problem has been positive.

It is nice to talk to us here but nothing beats personal contact.

A therapist may be a good sounding board for you.

Try and find someone else to confide in if you can.

[GretchenM]

Kimmie,

When the dam broke and the flood began a tad over 6 years ago, I reacted much the same way. Dizzy, confused, and, quite frankly, a little crazy. When I told the first person (not my wife, but rather my therapist daughter) it felt so incredibly good. The bubble had popped and I was still in one piece.

Three months later it was off to a therapist and attending group sessions. I highly recommend that combination. Then more were informed - I was very selective. Made a mistake telling one, but all the others were at least a little supportive. I think your choice of approach to finding your personal resolution and comfort zone is right on.

Now I am comfortable with who I am, in both male/masculine and female/feminine mode. I found the modes of expression that work for me right now and I engage them freely. That said, I rarely ever go out as Gretchen, but Gretchen is always there and noticeable somehow. It has become a collaboration rather than a competition as to what identity or combination is most comfortable.

But I doubt I would have ever achieved that if I had not learned some of the skills of dealing with this in your personal life with the initial help of a therapist and my many talks with the girls in group. Dive into it. But most important of all, don't hold back on anything even if you feel it will be embarrassing to reveal it. My therapist daughter has told me that in her experience when a client holds back with something that is often in the vicinity of the root of the person's problem. Keep the floodgates open.

Gretchen